Chapter 79: Chapter 79

Kiara POV

Five minutes had passed since my brother left my room but I couldn't even close my eyes. I could see the extreme disappointment and pain in his eyes and I knew that I was the reason. As soon as I fell asleep I got out of bed and decided to go see him in his room. I couldn't rest until I saw him all right.

As I entered his room I saw him crying as his hands were bleeding. I ran to him and hugged him tightly just to stop him from punching the wall again. "B-brother." he stops.

"Why are you here? I told you to rest," he said weakly.

"I'm so sorry brother, sorry for disappointing you. I-it's okay if you get mad at me, I'll understand that" I said and started to cry.

He slowly sat down on the floor while tears were visible in his eyes. It hurts so much to see my brother crying because of me.

"I am not disappointed nor mad at you Kiara. I am mad at myself because of what is happening to you. I didn't raise you just to live in this cruel world and feel this fucking pain. In my whole life, I did everything to protect you but...it seems that it wasn't enough. I-I didn't do enough for you. I-I didn't save you from pain, I failed you. I failed you as a brother," I could hardly breathe because of what I heard from my brother. I hate it, I hate myself for causing him pain.

"D-don't say that, brother. You did a great job in raising me as a better person. Y-you didn't fail. I know you did everything for me, you loved and took care of me more than in your life. You were not only my brother but you also my father and mother figure to me. Y-you gave me everything, all my needs as well your whole life. I-I never felt like I was missing something or that I was alone. You're always there when I need someone. I will never be a better version of myself if it wasn't for you." I said.

He shook his head. I could feel the pain he was feeling, I could see how his shoulder moved because of his crying. I can bear it seeing him cry. That's why I don't want to tell him what happened to me that night because I know that my brother will be broken when he finds out.

"Brother, don't blame yourself for what's happening to me. I have my own life and whatever I'm going through has nothing to do with you. I'm also not saying that my decision was wrong because I know that I was happy with Nigel. I-I don't want to ruin your friendship because of me, I'm your sister and he's your best friend as well. And this child? It will always be my blessing in life. I apologize for what I planned to do earlier, I realize that thing is wrong. I-I don't even think about how you will feel and especially when something bad happens to my baby. I-I'm just a mess these days. I don't know what to do. I-I don't know how to tell you," I added.

He looked at me seriously but he continued to cry. "Am I?" he asked me weakly.

I nodded. "You will always be the best thing that happens to my life, you're always the best brother in the world. You are my only family here and you are my gem. You never failed me because you have given me so much and even in the next life, I will choose you to be my brother. You have done enough, you've sacrificed a lot brother and that's enough for me. I-I know that the things you went through in your life were not easy, but you handled it all. You're a brave person and I'm sure that Mom and Dad are so very proud of you. No one can replace you," I touched his face and smiled.

"I will do everything for you Kiara, to make you safe always. You will never be a burden in my life. I will never abandon you, I will accompany you in all your battles, I will be on your side and most of all I'll share the pain you're feeling. I will not let you down, Kiara. You're a brave woman like mom and I'm so proud of you, my baby girl, always."

And because of what he said, I couldn't help but hug him tightly. In all the trials that I will face, I will try to overcome them. I will be strong knowing that there is someone who believes in me. I was a fool to think that when I will be gone I will be happy and the pain I feel will disappear. I didn't think about the effect it would have on my brother if I died. I witnessed how he mourned and struggled and how he was able to get up and be a big brother and parent to me. Most of all, I saw how he cried and became miserable and I can't bear that thing to happen again.