Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Chapter thirteen.

Zack's POV.

His mood changes. Maybe they aren't smooth as I thought. Oh, I don't think they are. He told me that he came here for a reason, meaning something had happened.

His eyes meet mine, a picture of his face in my orbs giving me a sense of his falling apart facial expression. He doesn't want to think into it, as I'm seeing. I want to apologize for even asking, but before I could, he lands his lips on mine.

I was taken aback at first, not believing the reality of what's happening until then, my brain sparks and I know this is happening in real life.

My lips weren't giving him space before, but that doesn't make him stop, so I open my mouth, allowing him entrance. His lips against mine is soft, and feathery. I like the way he concentrated only on my bottom lip, sucking it and tugging at it lightly. I want him to take both my lips, want him to stretch his tongue into my mouth, want him to explore, but he isn't, which seems like a punishment. Or maybe he is punishing me.

My eyes are lightly closed, my thoughts booming inside my head, carrying me away into this fantastic world.

His hands comes to grab both my face, at both sides of my cheeks, holding me in place. I wouldn't shake my head anyway, but I doubt that thought. Something is bothering my mind, which I haven't think much into. Something wants to stop me, which I don't want to listen to.

One of his hands — I can't really tell which one — rubs my neck, then starting to crawl downwards, reaching my chest. My nerves, my muscles, my body in total is rigid. I'm highly concentrated.

As his hands caresses my chest, two of his fingers fiddle with the hem of my shirt. Afterwards, all his fingers are inside my cloth, touching my chest to lighten the energy. I lean closer, while his hands goes down from within my shirt, pulling the fabric with his strong hands. Getting to my belly button, he pinches it ever so featherly, then he takes out his hands. With hastiness, he begin to unbotton my trouser, after noticing that I'm already hard for him.

Whilst he does that, the thoughts hovering in the clouds inside my head wants me to stop this. I can't just have sex with him because now he's told me that he is into boys. If it was on another situation, where he hadn't made mention it, I wouldn't have...well, he too wouldn't have kissed me in the first place, so I should put an end to this. But again, he might get angry. He seems really too far in the mood.

But I'm concerned in this as well.

I'm having an internal fight with my reasonings.

"Stop," I murmur, because that's the only way I could speak right now. He has gotten my tongue.

I think I hear a groan but then, I'm not so sure. The sounds of the machine are fiddling with the background, so I couldn't be so sure.

Seeing the flash of hurt...and probably embarrassment in his eyes before it then all disappeares, I quickly start, "no, I'm sorry."

He's grabbed his chapman from where he put it. I can't even remember where I placed mine.

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong." He's acting all soft now. Though, his breathing is the one thing that made me certain that what happened just seconds ago, happened.

"I really like you, James." I'm not just saying this because I feel like it's something he needs to listen to, but because I think it's best for myself as well. I need to hear it too. "I could have shifted away when you leaned to kiss me, but I didn't. I loved every moment of what we shared, but I can't just have sex with you because now you've clarified to me that you're into boys. It's not something I do." I am not one of those gays that think gay sex is for only fun. For my side, I see it as a connection. There should be a sparkle of affection if two opposite role queer are to have sex...and this isn't from me being a writer. It's just how I see it.

"But I wasn't going to penetrate you." He tells me, his voice very low. He isn't even paying any attention to our surrounding. He's just staring ahead. I wish he would look at me, because my eyes are focused on him.

Surprisingly enough, I wasn't shocked at that remark. "I know." Then, I breath out. How do I make him not want to stop this relationship? I have a feeling that stopping the kiss could lead to that. "It wasn't because of that. I can't just...at least we'd go naked, right?" He might not have it in plan to penetrate me yet, but we'll go naked, or even I might want to give him a head.

I like him very much, but am just not into those at the moment.

"It's fine, actually."

"I..."

"I'm not annoyed, Zack." His voice is all soft as he speaks, and he is still staring ahead.

He brings his bottle up, and sips it. "You'll drink?"

"I have mine—uh, okay, sure." I say and he gives me his. I'd come to the realization that my bottle has fallen, the content spilled on the floor.

"Let's leave. I think Lil wants a sleep." I need a sleep too. With that, he stands, moving Lil with him and I follow behind.