Chapter 38: Chapter 38
I sit with the pain until it passes and I'll become calmer for the next one.
Although the world is full of suffering,it is full also with the overcoming of it.
The wicked forgets kid shop ties,the tormentor forgets tomorrow.
I know what's like to be stuck in time
Thinking this is how I'm gonna live out the rest of my life
And not knowing if I am gonna see the people i love again,
and to be in an unfamiliar world.
An unfamiliar world which I want to build with the people who love me,with new people and a new life.
Heading to my room,I stopped right on track seeing how the room was beautifully decorated with lots and lots of balloons on the ceiling of my room directly facing my bed and on the wall says "WELCOME BACK HOME REYNA"and That brought a smile to my face,the smile which held my legs into the room,on my bed was a lot of gift boxes with date each on it,and a big gift box with a hand written letter.
I miss the laugh that made me smile and the eyes that said they care.
I missed you in waves and tonight I'm drowning,I felt my world crashing,seeing you on that bed rang a bell in my head without you the world seems depopulated,you're the one whom my heart wishes to see all the time,you're the one who's face I wish to wake up to every morning,you're the one whom my smile is with,you're the one I feel safe with,you're home Reyna,and home is you.
I'm so happy to know you are okay now and I can't wait to see you just like I've spent 286 days without a word from you,seeing you so pale and weak on that bed makes my heart bleed with each passing second of the days,I'll wish for you to be able to open each box gift from day 1 to the 286th day, May your face always light up with glee,
I wish you never ever feel empty,
I pray, may God be always by your side,
I want you to always lift up your head in pride
Your grace cannot be matched as it's unique in every way,
Your heart cannot be snatched as you give love freely anyway.
What I wish for you is for all your dreams to come shining through.
What I pray for you is for your success, which is overdue,
I cherish those moments,
our silly fights and funny talks
and how we grew together in a little time,
stayed united in grief and laughter,
I know your hurting and everything seems like a bitter brew
I want you to let it all out and let me into your heart so I can lessen your pain,I have no words to thank you ,but then you know my heart and this heart loves you dearly.
FROM REY TO MY REYNA❤️
"His words melted into the deepest core of my heart and I felt a warm feeling all over"
Dang them hormones!♀️
"Heyyyyyyyyy!you've been staring and smiling at that paper for so long.
"O.MI.GOD it's a fucking golden bracelet set with her name written on it ,it says:REYNA and a lock chain necklace with his name on it,it says J which means the other half heart is written in your name which has to be the letter A on it"
"This guy is so romantic,I didn't even get that when I was married"Maryam said with a pout.
"It's so beautifully romantic,Awwwwwww"zeenat said and all the girls began opening the gifts while I focused on reading the letters.
Hello beautiful just wanted to share something with you,do you remember when we first met??it was on the 20th of February 2015.
And now I'm fond of dates just like you,it's my best date so far and I wish to have more and more and more beautiful,fun,crazy and amazing moments with you!pls get up on your knees soon,I miss you so much I can't bear not talking to you for a day again!
And yes he remembered and all the memories came rushing down and I let myself dive into them.
*Fatiti Open's letter and read it aloud*
You are always on my mind more than you know ,and every time I think Of you am reminded how lucky I am Cx you've been my successful long distance relaxation ship on this bed,it's been three months now but no matter the distance ,no matter the time apart ,no matter how far we've been mentally and emotionally away from each other I'll always be by your side,
"W-what hey stop it girls"I said while trying to snatch the letter away from them but I couldn't ,so I let them be.
*fatiti continues reading the letter*
That means more than the time it will take before we talk again,you are such an inspiration to me and I have been totally impressed by all you do and the care you show.it's not everyday I get the chance to express how awesome you are to me .but no matter what though ,know that I love you to the end of earths Reyna.
I froze at the part which reads "LOVE YOU"and I felt a ting in my heart which felt so unusual but I loved it.
"This guy is gonna be the death of us,Awwwwww this is the most romantic thing I've read ever,isn't this beautiful?"Abeeda said .
"If you let this man slip,you ain't getting any one like him"yusrah advised.
"My husband is gonna have to take lessons from your boyfriend Amaani"Maryam said.
"Do I have a stamp on my head which reads "Hi I'm head over heels for Jawaad??"
"We all know it's true,don't fool around with your feelings,let your self feel the love"Halima replied.
"What are you girls doing that you haven't eaten yet??"mami poked her head on the little space on the door and asked.
"We're just reading some beautiful letters sent to Amaani by jawaad"Maryam replied.
"Well,I think I wanna read one too"she said while coming into the room.
"Mamiiii"
"Hey chill,I was just joking"
"Huh,I sighed"
"Now you need to rest,you have a visitor later,so get ready and wear this"she gave me a gift box which I never realized she was holding all this while.
"Wow the dress is beautiful Mami"I said raising the red and golden vintage gown with a golden scarf.
"Thank you Mami"I said while pecking her cheeks.
"Hey girls make sure she gets ready on time"Mami said and left.
"We need a makeup artist"Maryam said while thinking.
"Hey no make up pls,I need to sleep I'm so tired"I said while laying on the bed with the help of Yusrah.
"You can sleep for two hours,we'll be at the guest room"
"Okay"I mumbled,picked my phone set an alarm for 4:30Pm and sleep took me off.
Two hours later
*Alarm rings so loud*
"I woke up gently and with a lot of pain which I'm feeling on my hand"
"So you're already up"coming out of the bathroom I met Halima sitting on the bed.
"Yh,but my hands hurts"
"You need help?"
"Don't ask"
"You're welcome"
"With the help of Halima I got dressed,prayed and then we headed down stairs where everyone was waiting for us in the main dinning area while my friends are at the other side in the mini dining"
"You should join your family,we'll be okay by ourselves"
"No..."
"No arguments"she said and left.
"Assalamu alaikum everyone"
"Waalikumu salam"they all said in unison and stare at me blankly.
"I sat close to Mami while Muhammad was at my right side, we all ate in silence only the Clark of our spoons where heard while my friends eat and whispered clear enough for my ears to hear"
*Mama sitting silently and eating*
*Ammie serves Abba *
Strange I thought!
"Amaani when you're done eating come to my room"Abba said with a smile and left.
"Okay Abba"
"Hey eat up BiBi,Layla serve her more of this"
"No Ammie I'm okay"
"Mamiii?"i turned looking at Mami with a pout while everyone laugh.
"Hey Muhammad do you still go to gym?"i asked directing the question to Muhammad .
"Yh"he answered in his British accent.
"I think I'm gonna join you from tomorrow,my body is soar and my hands are so weak and it pains a lot"
"You should do just that,the doctor said it's gonna help a lot"Mami said patting my hair gently.
"Okay Mami"I said while pecking her and left to go see Abba.
*Amaani knocks on the door nervously*
Can't remember when last I came to Abba's room,they was never an invitation.
I Thought silently,ABBA's voice jolting me out of my trance.
"Are you going to come in or will you keep standing nervously on the door huh??"
"Sorry Abba"I apologize and entered.
*Amaani sits on the soft ash rug On the room*
"Maryam"
"Yes Abba"I answered and looked up knowing it's very serious,Abba never calls my name unless it's serious,I can't remember when last he did.
"I want you to know that whatever happened in the past,happened for a reason,I'm sorry that I've never been a father who cared to you,I'm sorry I'm not the best version of father which you've imagined you had ,I'm sorry for letting myself and the people who call family hurt you on my roof and I've never noticed,I'm sorry that I separated you from your mother and I'm sorry you never had a loving and caring mother,I am to blame for all the hurts and pain you've suffered for,for not always telling you how proud of you I am when you aced all your exams,I'm so sorry I was never their when you got gifts and became first overall in your school,for missing your graduation,for being a bad father and for not choosing a good mother for you,For not being on your side each step of your life,I never gave you all the love and energy, but there was no complaint, no selfishness, and greatness. I never ask to have one day out with you,I never said I want you happy is growing. When I bring you to this world, i was destined to love you. I never said I always want to leave the best for you. Always want to give you the best food. I never said I always want to buy the best clothes for you. Always want you to live comfortably and always want to dress you up beautifully. Bright to see how you smile.
Gradually, you grew up and started to understand things. I began to chatter to tell you that good children can't lie because there is no one likes. So you started to believe, don't dare to lie, just want to be a child you like, even more, people like it. Maybe one day, you will find that this person who teaches you not to lie is the one who loves to lie. What I love most is destined to be the least favorite thing for you.These people thought that they could eat the best food in the world with peace of mind, only to know that they never wanted to leave the best for you even as a family they hated you and I was never their to love you or protect you,I neve...
"Abba it's okay please I said in tears and he looked up at me"
"No Amaani I am not the father you deserve"
"The first profound experience, you're such a major person in my life. In the past,you were always too cold for me and too little care for me. In addition to blaming yourself, you have to work hard to be a filial person. Because you've not only gave me life but also raised me with hardships. A lifetime of hard work, a lifetime of selfless dedication. You always say "I'm a blooming flower because I came to this world and now I'm grown up and You began to no longer dress me, and more time is given to you.
As i get younger and younger,I find that you're also getting older every day. Despite this, you still gave me a lot of money and you care for me,you gave me things I never ask for,,you gave me more than enough,I just hope I can find your own life.I always thought you want me to be young, but no,you just wanted me to start to understand life, enjoy life, and know-how to maintain,you're my world Abba and you've given me more than enough,you raised me as a single parent and you later on got me a new mama,it wasn't your fault I suffered,I suffered because I was bond to suffer and that is my own fate,I believe it's a test and I'll pass it inshallah Abba,all those pain and mum's words-it built me,it built me to be a grown up and for my mind to be mature from a child likes mind,I cherish the little moments we had and you're the best of the best,the best father in the world,I could never ask for someone new-a new father or family,No Abba I'll always choose you,even if it means having those pains and suffering for a new start and a second lifetime"i finished with a teary smile.
"May Allah bless you Maryam,I will always be proud of you"
"Ameen Abba"
"I won't force you to forgive any of us,I,your mother,your sister and Fatima,you can take all the time you want and...
"Abba I've forgiven you,I've longed forgiven you and I've forgiven them too but I'm not sure if I can forgive my mother Abba"I cried aloud feeling the pain a fresh,believe me it hurts more than ever when you're talking about it.
"Shhhh,come here,don't stress yourself,I'm here now,your father is here,I won't let anything happens to you princess,it's okay,it's sure gonna be okay"Abba said while giving me a tight hug,one I haven't gotten in many years.
"Thank y—-y-you Abba"I said in between sobs.
"Don't stress too much you just got out of bed,I don't want to loose you again shh"he whispered soothingly in my ears and my sobs died down.
*Mami opens door and came in*
"What's happening in here,you see you made her cry"Mami complained and I broke the hug to take a. Look at her.
"It's tears of joy mami"I lied.
"Tears of joy huh?well what for?I want to shed some tears too"Mami said while sitting on a chair and Abba sat opposite me on the rug.
"There's something I want to tell you Amaani"Abba said.
"I got married to Layla"Abba confessed.
"Yes and I gave him the idea"I looked blankly at them
*flashback*
"Assalamualaikun Mami"Amaaani came running into the room.
"Waalaikumusalam,and why are you running as if you were chased by a dog??"
"Mami please say yes,please""
"Say yes what?"mami asked in confusion.
"I met an orphan today and I thought of giving them shelter,I don't mind I just want permission and a place for them to stay for a while before the construction of the house will be done"
"What woman?what house ?and what construction?calm down and talk to me you're confusing my little sense of brain Bibi"
"I narrated Everything that happened not leaving a single part"
"I want to build a house for them instead of my lab"
"But why??when you have a big house?"
"Mami ABBA?I don't know how to tell him,I don't know how he'll react to it please"I pleaded.
"Where are they?"
" I Asked them to wait for you"
"Now c'mon let's go"
"Is that a yessssssssssss??"
"Amaaaaniii"
"I'm sorry love" I said and tail behind her.
"Good afternoon ma"all the kids got down with their mother to greet mami and jawaad also.
"Hey get up you all,who are these cute babies?mashallah your kids are beautiful"mama complimented.
"Thank you ma"
"What's your name?"
"I'm Arif and I'm the eldest,and I'm Akram I'm the second eldest while I'm Asif I'm the baby last"they all said with a smile.
"Beautiful mashallah"Mami complemented.
"Thank you ma"Ammie thanked mama with a smile.
"What's your name miss,and you all can call me Mami from now on please we're family okay?"
"Okay"the kids replied happily giving Mami a peck each on her cheek.
"Layla Malik"Ammie answered.
"You look familiar"Mami said taking a close look on Ammie.
"My father's name is Malik Mohammed"
"And your mother?"mama asked curiously.
"Sabine Adam"
"You're the daughter of My GUNTEX"
"Come give me a hug please"Mami said with tears rolling down her cheeks
"I'm so sorry,I've looked for you for a long time when I heard the death of your parents,I went to your house and they told me your uncle took you in"Mami explained.
"I am Maryam Galadanchi"Mami introduced herself.
"You do come to my house with your mum when you were a little girl"Mami said and smile at the site of the memory.she added.
"Yes I do remember she tells me about you all the time,she does talk about you all the time and she won't stop rambling how you nicknamed her Guntex,she said it was cx she was small not that she was short"I watched as Mami and Ammie laughed at the remembrance of good memory.
"Amaani come over here"I found my legs walking towards Mami as she called me over.
"She's my loving granddaughter and if not for her I wouldn't have found you today and even if it was not you I was willing to help wholeheartedly"Mami said smiling at me proudly.
"Where's your son,the one we played those days?"
"She's his daughter"
"Mashallah"Ammie said looking at me with a bold smile while I laughed at the imagination of Abba playing.
"Hey come sit,don't look confuse"I sat while jawaad was playing with the kids all this while in the garden.
"Your father and Layla where childhood friend and you know what we wanted to hook this two up,it was our forever dream to see Amin and Layla getting married,the thought made our bond even more stronger but then Sabine passed away with her husband on a plane crash,the plane crash which took my best friend away on the on the 17th of December 1985,it was a day never to forget the bodies where unidentified and all the passengers including the pilots died with no single soul alive"Mami cried hard.
"I went to their house to look for Sabine-their only daughter I needed to know she was in good hands and on reaching their they told me they packed to a new city and they didn't left any note nor a trace of number,Layla was a child but smart enough to know I and her mother where inseparable till her mother's death do us apart,i Couldn't leave her child cx she was also mine,I tried looking everywhere but there was no sign of her and today alhamdulillah I'm sure your mother will be happy just as I am,she would be happy to see your kids and just how you've grown into a beautifully grown woman"Mami said proudly at Ammie.
"Welcome home my daughter,May Allah bless you abundantly"
"Ameen Mami"
"I got ma-rr...."she was about to talk when mami stopped her.
"Don't bother Amaani told me about the whole story how you ended up on the bridgeyou need not to talk about it,May your parents and husband soul be in peace"Mami prayed and we all answered with an Ameen.
"You'll stay here for the night and tomorrow we'll get you too your home inshallah"Mami added.
"Mami I'm heading home,it's getting late"I added at the last sentence of Mami.
"well then thank that young man,he was of help"Mami said with a smile.
"Hello stranger let's get going"i said approaching jawaad.
"Okay ma'am"
"Ahhhh,I hate that name"I complained grunting and he laughed a little.
"Mami we're leaving now"I called out and she walked fast to thank jawaad.
"Thank you for the help son,May Allah reward you and bless you abundantly and may your father's soul Rest In Peace.
"Ameen Mami"jawaad replied
"Good night Ammie,good night cuties"
"Where are you going?"Akram asked.
"I'm heading home to go get your rooms ready,now you'll stay for a night with your new grand ma okay?"
"Okay"seeing how sad they still looked i added.
"So tell me,what's your fav color and favorite cartoon??"i asked the kids and their eyes lit in happiness.
"Paw patrol,and I like blue"Asif said
"Pj mask,but I'll go for green,cx I love gecko"Arif said.
"I love Doc mcstuffins,I'll go for purple and pink"Akram replied with a smile displaying on her face.
"Now that's great I'll design your rooms so lovingly,now you kids should go freshen up and sleep okay?"
"Okay,good night"they said and pecked me each on my cheek doing the same on jawaad.
*************
"Assalamualikum"
"Mamiiii"I shouted giving her a hug.
"Look at this big baby?"Mami said teasingly.
"So she's the big baby and we're the small baby?"Asif asked.
"Yes"I said and we all laughed.
"Morning Ammie"I greeted looking how beautiful this loving woman is,I already liked her.
"Morning Amaani"She answered with a smile.
"Welcome home Layla"Abba said amazing everyone including Mami.
"Thank you mr.yellow"
"Oooh you didn't forget?"abba asked surprisingly.
"Ooh yeah,it's fresh as a freshly cooked food"
"That's good Mrs.chocolate yellow"Abba said and they laughed until it brought tears to their eyes"
"That's a first mami,he never laughed this happy in a long while,just wait until mama come see her husband laughing so happily"I whispered to Mami.
"Now ain't you a spoilt big baby?"mami said and we laughed so hard.
"Hello new papa"all the kids said in unison.
"Hello my children Abba said lifting Akram up on his torso"
"Welcome home my princes and princess"Abba said with a big smile.
"Thank you Papa"
"Now who wants to see his room?"
"I do,I also want to,me too"they all replied happily and Abba led them to their rooms while Mami led Ammie to hers and came back to explain everything to mama giving a warning not to hear a single complaint from her or maltreatment.
*End of flash back*
"After what Fatima did I can't imagine the pain you've suffered from,all I wanted to do was divorce her but Mami stood in the way and in the process I divorced her once,she deserves more than that"
"Subhanallah Abba you shouldn't have,it's all in the past,I don't regret each pain they caused me"
"I thought I'd never get a chance of fulfilling Sabine's dream but I realized they were meant to be and so with a lot of difficulty in convincing Layla she finally agreed when your father proposed to her himself and gave her his words that nothing will go wrong"Mami said with a teary smile,it's been four months now after the wedding.
"Mash Allah"that's all I could get my mouth to say.
"Amaani I would like to tell you the reason why your father and mother got divorced and I hope your also ready to know the truth"
"No mami,you don't have to"
"Let's all secrets be loose"
*flash Back*
"What are you trying to prove that his your husband and what am I?"I asked Khadija who stood on my head flaring with anger.
"Well I did,and I'm sick of it"she replied with no care in the world.
"I am his mother and I'm also like a mother to you Khadija"
"No,you're not,my mother?never in your life compare your disgusting self with my mother,she's nothing like you.
"Look how disrespectful you're"I complained feeling hurt by her words
"You told your son to have a second wife right?you planted the idea on his head,but why ,what have I done?"
"Will you talk to your mother the way you're talking to me right now?"
"I wouldn't dare do that and you're not her either ways"
"You're a married woman with two daughters you need to change or else you'll regret it when they grow up and begin to be just like you"I warned.
"My kids not yours Mami,and your son can't live without me,he sure won't get me a rival,I'd rather get divorced than have a rival"she said fanning her self with her hand while her sisters hail her.
"I don't blame you Khadija you were never like this,your sisters are the cause of all what you're doing"
"Yea we are,what do you' even take us for??"Naima said shouting and spitting saliva on my face.
"We're sorry Mami,you all please stop all this"Farida as the smallest of all warned them but they gave her a deadly glare as a reply.
"MARYAM order your son not to get me a rival or else I'll take him over,and you won't dare to say a word"
"Subhanallah,is this what you've become?"And then all I felt was a hard slap on my cheek,I couldn't talk nor do anything,I couldn't even digest all that happen in a thin air,I sat their hold onto my cheeks and tears fall off freely.
*30 minutes later*
"Mami what's wrong?"He asked worriedly stepping into the house seeing tears in my eyes he also burst into tears.
"I Narrated everything not leaving a single part"
"She did that to you mami?"he asked with a lot of anger.
"Yes my child,your wife has changed she's not the Khadija I know"I complained.
"I love her Mami,but she's taking advantage of that.
"Divorce her Amin"
"What?I'll talk to her and she'll apologize Mami,but I love her"he said in tears.
"Choose Amin your wife or your mother?"he looked closely in my eyes and I knew that was the hardest test he has ever came across.
"Can you take the pain away?or the mark on my cheeks in which will remain a lifetime mark?"I asked looking at my son closely.
"Without a word more,he left the house and some minutes later he came back with Zulaiha"I looked at him and he began saying;
"I went to pick her up from her Dada's house"
"What happened I thought you said you were coming a little later"Khadija asked.
"Get in the car"i ordered and she did as told.
"How dare you raise a hand on my mother,how dare you?"I asked her out of anger.
"She asked for it D what else"she replied as if it was a good thing she did.
"Just one lady goodbye"
"Talaq"
"Talaq"
"Talaq"
I repeated three times and she burst into tears.
If I never say the words this moments may never end...
"How can you Amin?take those words back please,I
loved you and you know that,how can you"she cried while hitting my chest and I kept driving.
"If you loved me you would have loved my mother as your's but instead you disrespected her and even hit her"I relied with a blank expression tears treathening to fall from my eyes but I blinked them away,I needed to stay strong for my daughters.
"For our children,for our daughters Amin"she pleaded.
"I can take care of my children myself"I spat disgustingly.
My fingers clench upon me
So they don't rush to find yours
"I need you to pack your stuffs and leave my house before I get back"I dropped her at the front of my house and left with Zulaiha to Mami's regretting why I ever did this in front of my children.
"How can you leave with Zulaiha?"with one glance more,she cried and I drove off with speed.
When you turn to Walk away,the pain was just too much...how much I wanted to feel your touch on me,but my days of that are over.
"Hey sweetie,what's wrong"I asked a silent Zulaiha who was sitting at the back.
"Where are we going without mum?"
"We're going to mami's okay?"
"for a sleep over"I added.
"She was crying?"she asked.
"Yes sweetie your mama is sick okay ?"i lied.
"Okay Abba"she replied feeling very excited.
*End of flash back*