Chapter 33: Chapter 33

The sound of strumming strings from his guitar had me smiling as I lay on his bed eyes closed face up, hands behind my head, my feet hanging off the bed swinging randomly. He at the other end fixing his guitar which is resting on his thighs.

“What are you playing? It’s beautiful.” Twisting my body to the side facing him I plop my chin on my fist. He pauses adjusting the strings before starting again trying to get a perfect harmony from the tempo.

“Just something I’ve been working on.” He replies his fingers playing at the strings. I admire him looking casual and relaxed not the front he puts up most times. Hair falling down his eyes, pouty lips his teeth and tongue flicked and nibbled at, brows furrow together seeming frustrated.

“I can be of help if you want.” He looks up at me in a raise brow grinning now resting his guitar on his black jean covered thigh. “Well not with the guitar but the sound you are looking for. I think you got it misplaced that’s why you can't tune it right .” I chuckle.

“Seems so.” He smirks looking at his guitar then back at me.

“Okay. Tell me what you are looking for. A hint, and I can help you start from there.” I look at him. He picks back the guitar while looking at nothing in particular, kinda deep into his thoughts.

“Remember what the teacher said about art is love.” I nod watching him absentmindedly strumming the strings. “What is your definition of love?” that shut me up not understanding where this question is leading to. I close my eyes relaxing to my back on his bed.

Love. What is love? As corny or cliché you may think, I see him.

Smiling I reply letting the emotions out, the feeling I get whenever I’m with him.

“Love? Love is a whisper, soft and sweet. Being with you is an art filled with beauty. On a journey I never want to take a break from. I hear the whispers of love every time you smile, you laugh, you look at me as the only sanity you have. You don’t know what love is until you’ve looked into each other souls and yours is exceptional. Like I said I don’t want a perfect love, I don’t want to change you. Being right is enough by me, we both listening to the whispers that binds us together under the twilight of the day. Letting it dance around us, taking us into a bliss because you are my bliss. Smile with me because it lightens my world, dance with me because I want this forever. You ask what love is to me… it is a whisper that cannot be neglected even when I try to shut it off, when my doubts knocks on the door or when everyone thinks I'm crazy to embark on the journey. I call it a whisper of love, a whisper that makes my heart beat to its rhythm.”

I open my eyes. Where did that come from? “That’s so beautiful, Snoopy.” My head snap to his, I smile. I hope it help him find what he's looking for though.

“Did you tell them?” Closing my eyes solemnly I nod twiddling my thumbs together nervous to tell him my decision. Coming back from his practice the other day, he stopped to ask me for a favor little did I know he will ask for something I’ve concluded on a long time ago letting fates win. I didn't know after telling him of my last visit to the doctor, he will ask me a certain question I've been dreading for weeks now. That question I've locked up throwing that key far, far away only to for it open in a matter of seconds the words fell out of his mouth.

“Yes I did.” He waits anticipating my decision. This will crush him. I sigh sitting up watching him look tensed and weary. I groan pinching the bridge of my nose letting my head fall.

Silence engulfs us as I thought of how simple to tell him my final decision.

Slowly I lift my head to meet his trouble eyes. “I will have the surgery.” A smile breaks from my face. I catch him exhaling deeply squealing loud when he pulls me to him.

“You scared me there for a second. I was afraid you will refuse.” He releases me smirking, picking up his guitar he continues with the strings.

“Someone showed me the light I guess.” I tuck my hair behind my ear waiting for the harder part of the decision I’m about to tell him.

“Whatever happens I’ll be right there with you, waiting.” He didn’t see the frown on my face when he said that. Tell him Mary-Vienne, its better now than later. I sigh.

“Don’t say that please.” I pause looking solemnly at him. “If anything goes wrong promise me that you will move on.” His eyes snap to mine as if I just slapped him.

“Don’t ask that of me Snoopy. You know I won’t do It.” his voice hardens and I know he’s a step away from bursting out.

“I have three chances Austin. Survive to forget, survive to enter a coma or die.” Saying the last part with a broken heart. “All choices are bad enough for you that’s why I need you to promise me that you will move on no matter what happens.” I look into his eyes begging.

“Why? Why do you keep doubting my love for you snoopy?” his voice came out harsh and accusing shocking the hell out of me. I shift close reaching for his hand, he flinches glaring hard at me. “Is my love not enough to earn your trust? That I can wait on you?” his voice rise with every word he spoke. “Answer me?” I flinch back at his sudden outburst tears pooling my eyes.

“No Austin, it’s not like that. You are getting it all wrong.” I try to convince him. He’s getting angry for the wrong reason and I hate it when he gets like this.

“Then what is it?” my mouth gap opens like a fish out of water speechless, hurt he thinks that of my love for him. “Yeah, I thought so. You look for the smallest escape to prove I’m not worth it to you. Pushing me away. That I'm not capable of waiting for you, scared that I'll hurt you. Is that it?" he chuckles humorless raking his hand through his hair. "I can't believe you think this shallow of me Snoopy? Of what I feel for you? Why don’t you get at it and break up what we have then you can finally be happy?”

Angry he stood up, going for his keys and leather jacket banging the door on his way out that

had me flinching in fright. Tears prickled my eyes. What wrong did I do? The last time he left angry I caught him kissing Kim resulting to us having a huge fight which cost us a horrible long week apart. Now I’m scared of what he’ll do next that will surely hurt me.

I stare at the closed door not having the energy to go after him. “Please come back.” I whisper. Letting my head hang low shutting my eyes, lips sucked in stifling the sobs threatening to break out. “Come back to me Austin.” I choke on a sob sniffing when he didn’t.

“Please Austin.” Hot tears stream down my face as I cried silently on his bed.