Chapter 95: Chapter 95

I heard the phone ringing soon after I hung up the call. I answered the call and placed the phone against my ear with shaking hands.

“Hello madam, our team had found his body but I’m sorry to tell you that you won’t be able to see him because his body was no longer recognizable. Hope you will understand” My whole body went numb and the hope I had that he was still alive faded away with the words I heard from him. I didn’t have any strength to speak or react. I just stayed there while listening to him.

So he’s really gone? Is that the end? without telling anything or doing anything I just hung up the call. I stood up from the sofa and ran upstairs.

“Marianna..” I heard Gwen’s voice but I didn’t care. I went into the room and locked the door. Soon after I heard Gwen knocking the door but I stayed as I didn’t hear anything. Finally she gave up and stopped knocking the door.

I closed my eyes and I remembered the way Ryan looked back at me and smiled. It was so beautiful. Was it the last time? If I knew it was the last time I won’t let him.. I hate you for leaving me and kids Ryan. I hate you..

Sudden fury took over me and I strode into the washroom and grabbed his razor and took the blade out.

“If you’re going I’m also coming” Without even thinking about anything I cut my wrist deeply and watched how blood oozed from my wrist. Then I moved to my other wrist and at the same time my body went numb and my eyes became heavy.

“What the fuck are you doing Julianna? Are you gonna fucking leave my children?” My eyes snapped open as I heard Ryan’s voice. He’s here? I looked around to see him but he was nowhere to be seen. So it was just an illusion...

Then suddenly I came back to my senses. What.. what am I doing? I can’t die.. I should stay strong and take care of Noel and Raylie. No.. My whole body went numb and I quickly pressed my other hand against my wrist and stopped blood rushing out as I ran out of the washroom. Then I took a Ryan’s belt and wrapped it around my wrist as I unlocked the door and ran out. I should live for my children even if Ryan left us I won’t leave them.

“Take me to the hospital” I saw Mark who was already coming into the house. I said as he looked at me with a shocked face. Then he quickly strode towards me and picked me up as he ran to his car. Tears rolled down from my eyes and I buried my face against his neck and closed my eyes.

“Ryan.. I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to do that.. Forgive me” soon after my vision turned dark.

…….

“You truly disappointed me.. You don’t deserve to be my children’s mother. You tried to leave them. Stay away from us Julianna. I can take care of them on my own” I looked at Ryan’s fury filled face and tears filled in my eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean Ryan. I’m not leaving them. Please don’t say that. I can’t live without you guys” I slowly walked towards him and tried to touch him but he simply just dodge my touch and took a few steps back.

“YOU FUCKING DID WHAT I ASKED YOU NOT TO DO” Ryan’s fury filled shout made my eyes snapped open. I took a few deep breaths and looked around and saw I was in a hospital room. I sighed and looked at my hand that was wrapped with bandages.

I stayed watching my hand for a while and soon after the door opened and Mark entered in with Gwen. Horror took over me as I saw Mark’s furious face. I bit my lower lip and looked away from him.

“So you’re happy now?” I heard his voice but I didn’t lift my head to look at him because his face was really scary and I felt like he was going to hit me.

“You even dared to cut your wrist without thinking about your own children?” Mark was angry. I stayed silently without speaking and making him more angry.

“Go ahead die” He threw a sharp blade onto my bed and said emotionlessly.

“Mark.. stop it please. Don’t make things hard for her” I heard Gwen’s cries and I looked at Mark. My tears came out as I saw him.

“I’m sorry, I just lost my mind and wanted to go to Ryan.” I said and his eyes became red. He watched me for a while and strode out of the room. Then Gwen came and hugged me while wiping her tears.

“I told them that your hand was accidentally cut while you were cutting vegetables so tell them like that” I nodded at her and at the same time Noel and Raylie barged into the room. Raylie’s eyes were covered with tears and she was biting her lips. I looked at Noel and found he was already frowning at me so much like his father.

“Come here” I said as Raylie quickly ran towards me and wiped her tears from my hospital gown. My little princess is so cute.

“Mommy you really cut your hand by accident?” Noel came to me and asked. I nodded at him and smiled but I knew he didn’t believe me. The little cute and ignorant boy is long gone and he’s becoming mature and intelligent. His attitudes are getting similar to Ryan day by day. He has nicely inherited Ryan’s smirk and Ryan’s dominating aura.

“Mommy then be careful next time. Don’t hurt yourself” Noel came and kissed my cheek. I bit my lower lip hard to prevent crying.

“I won’t again” I smiled at him and caressed his hair as he giggled and took Raylie’s hand. Then both of them waited for a while and left the hospital room. How did I think of leaving my adorable kids? I won’t do it ever again.

“Take a rest. You can go home by tomorrow” I nodded at Gwen and watched her walking out of the room. I sighed and laid on the bed as I remembered the dream I just saw. Was Ryan really disappointed in me? No right? It was just a dream and Ryan will never shout at me like that.

I slowly closed my eyes again because I was tired, tired of everything. It’s really hard to believe that Ryan is gone while leaving us behind but now I have to accept fate and be strong for my kids.