Chapter 49: Chapter 49

X E N O S

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I saw her run away. How she ran from “me”. With that fucked up expression like she just lost everything. As if it was literally broken.

And I wasn't with her. I needed to get that terribly shaken look off her face, needed to make things right. Damned! HOLY SHIT!

I was already running after her, roughly pushing everyone in my way aside, when my body suddenly froze and I couldn't move. "ARAMIS!" Were it not for his mental bonds, I would already be transforming. My wolf sat so much on the surface, nothing could have stopped him from escaping. "Let go of me!"

He stepped in front of me. "No. She needs a moment without you now.”

"ARGH!" My claws shot out and I wanted to grab him, shake him and smack him. He dared to keep me away from her? "She needs me! She fucking needs me!” She was suffering and I wasn't with her. Hell “she needed me!”

"No, I'll take care of her," Reah announced softly, standing in front of me next to Aramis. Her black rastas played around her chocolate-colored face, which shone in the golden sun.

I growled loudly. "No you will not! She doesn't like you, so you won't even dare go near her!"

She took a step toward me, but then dropped her outstretched hand as I bared my teeth. "Xenos, you are my “Faruh”, I..." As if realizing that no more words could bring me to my senses, she stopped mid-sentence. "You wouldn't be able to help her now."

"But you do, don't you?" I scoffed, scanning the tree line, waiting for her to come back”. Come on kitten.”

““Aee”. Because I know why what you did is so bad for her.”

My head snapped back to her. "What are you not telling me?"

'I would have told you long ago if I hadn't thought she would have told you long ago. But from the looks of it, you have no idea as to their “Seetohu”."

"What about her father?" I growled, wanting to shake her to get her to come out with it. I was running out of time.

"I was there, in her tribe, saw with my own eyes how he treated her," she reported with a touch of disbelief. “By Gaia's will, he had been so horrible to her. I had never heard a “Seetohu” talk to his “Ahivi” like that before. He had humiliated her in the most ugly way in front of everyone. He took away her right to the paint right after he banished her.” She whispered the words in her own language that Arya's father had said to her and I stopped breathing. “Disgrace, coward, dishonorable, disappointment. “

How could someone say something like that to my arya?

My throat was tight and my mouth was dry. "When was that?"

"A few days ago when we..." I didn't hear the rest of her words. I got sick.

She had begged me to accompany her. And when I fucking idiot rejected her, she begged me not to leave her alone. I had noticed that something was wrong with her. The lack of paint, the red eyes.

"Aramis, let go of me." My breathing hitched. No, shit, no. That couldn't happen, it couldn't be true. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”

"Reah, go." Aramis commanded, and after a moment's hesitation and one last doubtful look at me, Reah agreed and sprinted away.

"How bad was he to her?" Though, did I have to ask that? He had forced her to agree to a marriage she didn't want. Had banished her and taken away her right to her family. He was a monster.

Zaira stepped out from behind Aramis, who was about to push her back, but she persisted as she stood in front of me moments later.

"I've only met him once, but if there was a father you wouldn't want, it would be him." She shook her head sadly. 'He's terrible, Xenos. So terrible."

For a brief moment the mental bonds tightened, but then Aramis released them and there was nothing holding me on my feet. My knees buckled, digging into the dry earth as guilt seemed to bury me.

“You are just like my father!”

Fists pounding the earth. Fast and firm. The skin over my knuckles ripped open, blood trickled down my hand, and the red tufts of grass glowed in the sun.

“You betrayed me! “

Another hit. “Bam, bam, bam”. Faster and faster, I threw my elbows in the air and smashed my fists into the ground again. Again and again.

“My husband would not betray me.”

"Oh Aramis, do something!" shouted Zaira.

Then there were hands on me, pulling me back and using mental strength to keep me from kicking out.

"NOOOOO!" I covered my face with my hands and couldn't help it as sobs gripped my body. Gross, raw sobs coming from the deepest, most painful corners of my being. I hadn't cried since I was a little boy. Not even after Leav died had I allowed myself to cry. But now that I'd driven perhaps the best thing that had ever happened to me out of my life, there was nothing holding me back.

My upper body convulsed as the sobs ripped through me. "She is gone. I lost her."

"Aramis! Help him!'

“No man, you didn't. Your bond isn't gone, nor is she gone.” He squeezed my shoulder. "Give her a minute to calm down and then you take her back, got it? After all, you're the bloody king.” He slapped me on the head. "And I hate to admit it, but that fact impressed even Zaira after she met me."

I heard her gasp in disgust and Aramis chuckled.

But they didn't understand. Arya gave up everything for me. And I had dropped her.

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A R Y A

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Soon the sun would peak and the morning would be over. Nonetheless, I still sat there, hours after running so cowardly from the field, staring sadly at the densely woven branches of the forest while the murmur of the river broke the stillness.

The memories that had just erupted so suddenly and buzzed wildly in my head were gone. What remained was the dull sadness. Sadness that I was hurt by the one person who was everything to me, who should never have hurt me. On the other hand sadness because I had hurt him just as much, but I didn't know how to mend both of our wounds. How I could make everything right again. Maybe that was just an impossibility.

The tree in the fork of which I had crouched creaked.

"So there you are."

Of all the people I knew, I would have least expected her to be here. I drew my legs up. "What do you want here?"

"Isn't that obvious?" Reah perched on a branch beside me. "I am worried about you."

I snorted and pulled the skirt's red fabric down over my knees. "Don't pretend you like me."

"Like and care are two different things."

He was sitting. Well, she could dish out, I had to give her that.

"But maybe that can still change," she said then and gave me a small smile.

Suddenly I felt I had to explain myself. Make her understand why I ran away, why exactly I couldn't go back to “him”. I whispered, hoping she understood: "He was my home."

She sighed softly. "Remember the thing I wanted to tell you about him?"

She didn't have to explain who she was talking about or what. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the tree trunk. "I don't want to hear it anymore."

"Well, bad luck, you have to listen to this."

"I thought it wasn't important anymore?"

"My mistake." She gritted her teeth. 'You looked so happy and I didn't want to spoil that. Besides, I figured he should tell you, not me.”

I narrowed my eyes tighter. "It doesn't matter now anyway."

"No, it's not," she protested. "It's about his brother."

My regrets suddenly opened up. "He has a brother?"

"“Had”." she corrected me and I heard the sharpness in it. She took a deep breath and then began to say, "It had been a beautiful autumn day, and nothing had indicated how horrible it would end." She stroked the dark brown bark of the fir, lost in thought. 'Serdas was our best friend in those days. We were all best friends; Xenos, Leav, Aramis, Serdas and I. But none of us had noticed that Serdas was changing more and more. It started out harmless, a little taunt here, a squabble there. But his jealousy of all of us, no one had noticed. He hated Aramis for being stronger and faster at many things, even though they were both demigods. He hated xenos for taking the place of king at such a young age, and he had hated Leav and me for our love. ' Her features hardened. “He always hated that a gi and a werewolf could be mates. So I guess he wanted to kill two birds with one stone.”

A dark foreboding crept into my head. "What has he done?"

'It was an ambush. He made sure that Leav would follow him alone into our once-loved glade in the dead of night. Then he had made sure that we would all also appear the invitation to one of our usual meetings in the clearing. But before either of us could arrive and realize what he was about to do, the sword was already deadly hanging over his throat.” Her cheeks moistened and she sniffed. 'Serdas had tied him up so he couldn't defend himself. We were all there, watching as he swung the sword and severed his head.”

I put my hand over my mouth. "This is horrible."

"Yes." Her voice neither shook nor broke. She sounded rather resigned. Thousand-year-old pain spoke from it. Pain and the knowledge that he would never come back.

"I'm-" I was about to take her hand when she stopped me roughly.

"Do not apologize. It's not like it's your fault. The only one to blame is Serdas. And he paid for it.” She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself. “I didn't tell you this to make you feel sorry for me or Xenos. I told you so you would understand."

"What? That he wanted to protect me because he didn't want to lose me too?"

She must have figured it out, it seemed, because she snapped, "“Aee!”" at me, then added, far less angrily, "Did he tell you about his dreams?" 'Of course he didn't, he's far too proud for that. So are you.” She gave me a reproachful look. “If they just talked decently to each other, it never would have gotten to this point. But fine, then I'll tell you. The dreams haunt him, terrorizing him night after night. He relives Leav's death over and over again and he blames himself for it."

As if it were yesterday, I saw him in front of me. How he tossed and turned in his bed, how he cried out in agony. And then that deeply disturbed look in his eyes, as if they had seen something worse than the coldest depths of hell itself. "It wasn't his fault."

"Well, he doesn't see it that way anyway," she countered. “He was Leav's older brother, always looked out for him. His death had affected him deeply, otherwise he would never have overlooked hurting you to prevent what had happened from happening again. And when he realizes how much he hurt you with it, “how” he hurt you with it, he'll never do it again.” There was a radical certainty in her voice.

"Why are you telling me this? What has already happened cannot be undone.”

“Because no one ever fought for him. Nobody took care of him. His parents passed away when he was still a young adult, and with Leav's death, there was no one left to comfort him. Nobody was there for him. I was exhausted,” Reah continued with her story. “Aramis was so taken by Serda's betrayal that he didn't appear for years and there was no one else. Instead, he had a kingdom to lead, a whole pack that needed him as their leader for advice and support. He couldn't just run away, couldn't just screw himself up and mourn his brother for years like I did. He stayed strong, didn't let a soul see his loss.”

The tough mask she always wore crumbled and I saw the sadness in her eyes. sadness and regret. And suddenly “I” understood “her”. Xenos was her “Faruh”, she hadn't been able to help him then, so this time she wanted to be there for him. She might have even hated me when she must have seen how much we fought, how much I hurt him. And she had wanted to protect him. “Protect” they did here, they all did.

Rowtag never protected me, why should he? I had been “First Arrow”, I was “Ahivi” “te Chief”, how could anyone protect me and not mock my honor in the same breath?

'Nobody was as important to him as his brother until...', now she smiled slightly at me, 'until he met you. Why do you think he sleeps in the pack house every night you've been staying at his estate, when he's got his own house?” She laughed and shook her head, her rastas flying slightly. 'What makes you think his estate has all the ingredients needed to make our body paint? On an estate that housed only werewolves until “you” came. Or why do you think the well-known conservatory has been a tropical greenhouse for a year?”

My mouth fell open. "What?"

She shrugged and raised her arms. “He was always about you, Arya. He has done everything for you since you came into his life. What do you think would have happened if Xenos had accompanied you to your tribe instead of me? What do you think would have become of your father? Or Nzuak?” She shook her head again. "He would have leveled anyone who said a single word against you."

My pulse was racing and my heart was pounding excitedly against my chest.

"So don't pretend it doesn't matter now," she rebuked me, looking at me intently. "He deserves to be fought for." She nudged me roughly with her finger. “He's fought for you since he first saw you. So be the one fighting for him.”

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