Chapter 75: Chapter 75

"Does your family do nothing to stop people from looking down on you?" Agustine continued to ask stuffs about me and my family.

We're done eating. The people he hired earlier for dinner have also left. Right now, we are talking outside his balcony. Leaning on the railings, holding a wine glass, and watching the stars in the peaceful sky.

I flashed a smile and sipped on my glass. I glanced at the city lights below the building for a moment. It's peaceful.

"Whether they do something or not. It won't change the fact that I'm an illegitimate child," I said then looked at him.

His eyes were focused at me. Once again, I lifted my lips to curve a smile. I really appreciate Agustine for how attentive he was at my words. Like he doesn't want to miss a single word that I say.

I heaved a deep breath and looked at the sky. My smile faded slowly as I thought about my family.

"You know, I may have a complete family; a mother, a father, and a sister. But I still have a broken home."

I laughed and took another sip of the wine in my glass. "I don't understand. Broken families dreaming of a complete family, while here I am, having everyone but asking for a so-called home. " I just shook my head.

"I often think about it. How does it feel?" I asked out of nowhere. "How does it feel to cry on your mother's shoulder while sharing your burdens? How does it feel to have a family to rely on?" I looked up even more when I felt the edge of my tears.

"Have you ever felt too much pity for yourself?" I murmured and glanced at Agustine.

I don't know why I became an open book with this man. My frustrations in life and things that I can't just say, I am able to open up to him voluntarily without hesitation.

I can't read his emotions. He was just staring at me intently while holding his untouched wine.

"Because I do," I added and chuckled bitterly.

"Don't you want to find your real mother?" he asked out of nowhere.

I was stunned by his question. I slowly lowered my eyes to my glasses then swirled it around in a gentle manner.

"I want... her to find me," I whispered and tried to smile.

I lifted my gaze at Agustine again. "I don't want to look for her because she might just drive me away. I mean, she left me," I explained. "If she really has a plan to know about me, or if she wants to be with me. She'll be here, right? It would just be too painful that she already left me when I was young, and to be pushed away if ever I try to show up to her. I already feel unwanted in my family. I literally don't want to feel the same about my real mother." I tried to laugh again, but my voice croaked.

Even before I break down, I was relieved when Agustine grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him. He hugged me. I don't know but at that point I silently burst into tears.

He caressed my hair gently. He was comforting me like a child

"I may not be your mother, but you can lean on me. I am also not your father, but you can rely on me. And of course, I couldn't be your brother, but you can count on me when hardships come, Khrystal."

It soothed my heart. What he said was too good to be true. I don't know if I can really expect anything from him, but somehow, my heart started trusting.

And it scares me.

This is the first time that I felt this unfamiliar feeling. I couldn't name it because it scared me. What if... we don't end up with each other after a few months?

I'm already feeling weak just my mere thinking about it. I am already used to getting hurt, but being happy with Agustine was addictive.

We stayed like that for a minute. After a while I escaped his hugged from his chest. I felt him staring, but I kept my eyes away.

"Should I take you home now?" he asked.

Home...

Where is it actually?

I felt Agustine carefully holding my face and gently lifted my head to him. The moment my eyes met his, I already accepted defeat.

I couldn't believe that it happened so fast. I don't know how, but I fell. Staring at the man I hated at first, I realized that for the past few days. He became my home.

Despite the uneasiness that I am feeling when he's around, I find comfort with him. I became attached.

"Bhryll, do you think it's worth to try?" I asked.

His forehead gradually wrinkled. Later, it also calmed down and he looked at me with a smile.

"I'm not a man who likes to wait, Khrystal. But you broke that habit of mine. For you, I am willing to take it slow."

Although he didn't answer my question directly, he gave me a reason to trust him.

"Why me?" I asked again while still looking up at him.

"Why not you?" he asked back.

I shrugged. "Well, I'm just a good-for-nothing bastard."

His eyes darkened. "You're not a nothing, Khrystal," he said darkly.

I just nodded and looked away from him. My heart started racing again. I looked at the sky for a moment and smiled.

"Can I be your girlfriend while working it slow?" I uttered.

I didn't immediately hear a response after that, so I looked at him. He was staring at me. His eyes were unreadable.

"What did you say?" he said after a second.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and averted my gaze. It wasn't long before I looked away when Agustine carefully held me up to face him.

"Say it in front of me, Khrystal," he said.

I bit my lower lip. "N-nothing, I've changed my mind," I stammered.

He shut his eyes and groaned frustratingly. I couldn't help but laugh because of his reaction.

"Damn, woman. You're making me crazy," he mumbled.

Well, you made me too.

Because of laughing I didn't realize the glass I was holding. I accidentally spilled wine on his clothes, so I quickly asked him to put it down on the side table.

"I'm sorry!" I said and took a tissue.

I quickly wiped the wet part of his chest down to his stomach even though it was useless. I heard him groaned again, then he held my hands. "Sweetie, you're torturing me," he uttered.

I looked at him confused. Later my eyes widened as I realized what he meant.

Slowly, my eyes went down to his thing. Even though he was wearing pants, his bulge there did not escape from my gaze "Eyes up, sweetie," Agustine said with his raspy voice.

"Seriously? I was just wiping spilled wine from your clothes!" I blushed, mixed with amazement and shame.

He chuckled and pulled me for a hug. "Don't mind that. It will calm after a minute," he murmured.

"What if it did not?" I asked.

He whimpered again and walked away from me. "Sweetie, your words were not helping. Let's go, I'll take you home," he said and went inside his house, maybe to get his keys.

I pouted and tried to count how many days since we last done that.

Should I help him to calm it?