Chapter 44: Chapter 44

In all of go-see I've been through, this is the second time I have felt nervous again. My palms were sweating and my heartbeat barely stopped.

"Welcome back, Ms. Zamora," one of the hairstylists smilingly greeted inside the dressing room.

All the attention of the other models focused on my direction. There was the critique of their eyes in my presence. I am no longer surprised because for over the years I have been able to make my name got off the spotlight or should I say—my ex-husband. If there are people who are older than me, they are the people I used to be with.

I sparingly smiled at the hairstylist. "Thank you," I said shyly.

If my self-confidence before was high, now I can’t help but get upset. One of the reasons I hesitated to come back was because of my body as well. I already have a child, I don't know if my body is still that good for others. I always boast to Ken of how I look, because that's the way I can feel my love for myself—to see myself as a beautiful woman no matter what. I believe that even if you are not beautiful in the eyes of others, you will be the most beautiful in your own eyes as long as you believe. Even so, in situations like this, I can’t help but question.

"You’ve been gone for so long, Ma'am," the hair dresser said.

"Well, yeah," that was the only thing I could answer because I was avoiding to reveal what had happened to me before.

"Jazzie?" Azy's familiar voice called, as he entered the room.

He give me another sweet smile as he scanned my entirety. I was just wearing a simple bodycon dress with a high slit on my left thigh. Seeing my manager's delighted eyes calmed me somehow.

"Are you ready?" he inquired as he approached me. "The event will start within five minutes," he added.

I nodded sparingly and secretly took a deep breath. I stared at myself for a moment in the vanity mirror in front of me.

You can do this, Jazzie.

I cheered on myself and smiled at the reflection.

It's time to return back to your normal life.

I don’t know if I’m making the right decision. But from what has happened in my life and the truth I have learned, I have realize that life is too short to deal with problems that are not yet to come. In order to move forward, I need to be comfortable and be happy with my life¾with my career; with my child.

As Azy said, the models are being called to the mini stage where we will be examined. My eyes widened slightly when I saw Erom sitting on the crowd while Chaos was next to him. They waved at me together with a smile on their faces.

"Your child?"

I turned to the model next to me when she asked me. I gave her a small smile and nodded in response.

"Infairness, you are still in a beautiful shape, even if you already have a child," there was the amazement in her tone so I assumed that as a compliment.

"Thank you," I hesitatingly said as I simply looked at her entirety. "You're hot and sexy too," I commented.

"Hmm. Result of dieting." She followed it up with a laugh but the bitterness in his voice can still be noticed.

Somehow I felt a little pity. I immediately hid it when she smiled at me and said goodbye to follow the next line of those who will come out.

I stared at my other colleagues. There I thought that unlike me, some of the models I came across are strict with their diets and so on. I used to work with people before who forced themselves to puke after eating the foods they wanted. Others were crying because they had gained one kilogram. For others who are not in our field of work, it is a simple thing. But for the models I get along with, it’s a big issue for them.

I'm still lucky somehow.

"Ma'am, you're next," called a backstage staff.

I hurriedly moved and prepared myself as I got there. I dismissed everything I was thinking and took a deep breath while waiting.

When I heard my name, I started to walk out. With my belief and confidence in myself, I elegantly stepped on the carpet. But it quickly disappeared when I saw an unexpected man in the row of judges.

Valjerome...

I almost tripped. Thankfully I was able to overcome my shock. I could feel his stare at me that I was trying to avoid. I feel like I went back to the moment when I was just on a go-see for the first time. Numb with nervousness, I restrained myself from trembling only for my knees to stop quivering.

"Go, Mommy!" Erom cheered when I am finally done with my walk.

I secretly bit my lower lip when Valjerome looked back at him. From my position, I could see the softness in his eyes as he looked at my son. Erom, on the other hand, seemed shocked to see Valjerome. He hesitated to bend down and just based on the movement of his body, I knew he was playing with his fingers. Chaos quickly clung to him and whispered, perhaps comforting my son.

The go-see took a couple of minutes before the judges released the result. Out of the ten models three were chosen as the model of the product they would release, luckily I was one of them. We went back to the dressing room, some congratulated me and some secretly looked bad at me. It was not new to me. I had always been accustomed to not everyone being happy with my success.

"Jazzie!" Azy shouted happily while carrying a bunch of white roses.

He laid it down in front of me and then held both my hands. "Guess what, you are still hot and hmm!" he teased.

I shrove. I wanted to slap my face in embarrassment but because he was holding it, I couldn't.

"Aaack! My little Thumbelina is really great!" he praised again.

I winced and couldn't help but laugh at the end because of what he called me. But I admitted I do appreciate his praises.

"Mommy!" Erom called as he was running to me.

I quickly lowered down to approach him. I hugged him tight and kissed his forehead.

"I didn't expect you to be here, my prince," I said. "Anyway, thank you for cheering Mommy." I smiled genuinely.

"Dad told me that you’d go back to your work before so I asked him to bring me here. You're so good, mom," he praised.

I couldn’t help but burst into tears at my son’s words. It’s funny to think that Erom’s simple flattering words would equal a thousand admirations from others. Maybe that's how it really is when your child does something you ask other people to do for you.

"Thank you," I thanked my son again then looked at Chaos as he handed me a flower.

My forehead knotted. I looked at the bunch of white roses that Azy had brought earlier.

"Isn't this from you? Why did you buy two more?" I laughed curiously.

"Girl! It is from your ex-husband," Azy whispered while pointing at the rose.

I blinked twice. Chaos smiled sparingly at me and nodded in confirmation. He scratched his neck for a moment and looked at me shyly.

"I'm sorry. His bouquet is much bigger than mine, again. It looks like I lost again," he said.

My lips gapped at what he said. "Lost to what? There's no fight happening here," I clarified.

For a moment I glanced at the white roses, a piece of paper inserted there caught my attention. I took it and quietly read what was written.

You did a great job, gorgeous –V

I don't know why I feel my cheeks heat up for a few seconds, maybe with the number of us here in the room so I can't feel the cold of the air conditioner.

That's right, the aircon is low cool.

"Come on, let's go home," I whispered to Chaos and Erom as I clutched the bag I was carrying.

"You don't want to celebrate?" my manager asked.

I forced a smile. "Maybe next time," I replied.

He nodded in understanding.

"What about this, won't you bring it?" he inquired again.

I was stunned and secretly looked at Chaos. I don't want to offend him in any ways. Even though there seems to be no case against him if I take that, I still don’t want to take the opportunity.

"No, it'll just wither too. It's up to you if you want," I said.

"Oh, bet. No turning back," Azy said.

I rolled my eyes. Instead of talking to him, I just asked Erom and Chaos to come out.

"Damn. I think I dropped my keys," Chaos whispered as we boarded the elevator and went down to the ground floor.

"Do you know where it fell?" I asked and then looked around, assuming the key was there.

"I think in the dressing room, I'll just go back to check it. Go downstairs first, just wait for me in the car," he said.

"Okay, Erom and I will just wait for you there," I promised.

Chaos nodded and then left us in the closing door of the elevator.

"Mommy ..." Erom called to me.

"Yes, my prince?" I smiled in response and gently stroked him hair.

"You already allowed Daddy, right?" he murmured.

I was stunned and immediately silent when Erom opened the topic about his real father.

"About what, son?" I asked calmly.

"To be with me," he replied.

I swallowed and looked away. I felt guilty in my son’s expectant tone.

"I-I already allowed him, son. But..." I breathe deeply. "I haven't told him yet. I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

Yes, I will allow him to see or hold my child. For my son, I will do everything to make him happy.

"When will you tell him?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip. "Tomorrow, son. I will text him tomorrow, just give Mommy some time," I answered hoarsely.

"Thank you, Mommy." With my son's tiny arms, he embraced me tightly.

I forced a smile and gently stroked his back. "For you, son. Mommy will do everything."

Erom slowly pulled himself away from me when he heard the sound of the elevator¾sign that the door is about to open. We were ready to go out when we were both stunned by the numbers of reporters waiting for us outside.

"Ms. Zamora, is it true that you got pregnant so you left modelling six years ago?"

"Who is the father of your son, Ms. Zamora?"

"Ms. Zamora, is he your child?"

Because of the unprepared situation, I began to worry for my son. I held Erom's hand tightly in the sea of reporters, I even tried to get through with my son but it was just a wrong move.

"Erom!" I cried when his hand slipped out from mine

I could clearly see how he almost fell over and got stuck in the waves of people. Fortunately, he was quickly hugged by someone. My eyes widened as I realized whose body it was.

"Get out of the way!" Valjerome shouted as he protected my son from the possible danger.

His staff quickly surround the area to disperse the reporters. When he got the right space he lifted Erom and squeezed him into his chest.

"I will fvcking sue you all if something bad happened to both of them!" he shouted again causing the commotion to stop.

It was as if the reporters was burnt by flame and immediately walked away from us. I took the opportunity to approach my son.

"Erom, are you okay?" I asked tremblingly.

My son did not answer or even look at me. He remained hugging and leaning on Valjerome causing my fears to intensify.

"Get in the car," Valjerome said and walked ahead.

I didn’t bother to follow. I still tried to talk to Erom but like before, he remained in his position.

"I-is he traumatized?" I screamed talking to Valjerome. "Is he h-hurt? Is he crying? W-why doesn't he want to talk?" I said one after another.

It was as if something was blocking my throat and I was shedding tears of worry. I just stopped when I felt a warm hand grip my cheek.

Slowly, I lifted my eyes at him.

"Calm down, everything will be okay. He's not hurt, don't worry. I made sure of that," he assured and gave me a small smile. "I will not let anyone hurt our son."