Chapter 33: Chapter 33

I was pacing back and forth, restlessly thinking about my ex-husband. It's already 10 o'clock in the evening but I still can't hear him arrived. I couldn’t help but worry and feel guilty. If I had just let go of my bag right away, these would not happened.

I bit my lower lip and I glanced at my son who's currently in his deep sleep. Slowly, realization hit me—the missing guards, everything. Valjerome did that for my son's sake.

I heaved a deep sigh and then walked towards the bed where Erom was lying on. I gently leaned over him and hugged him tightly.

"Am I a bad person if I want to deprive you from him?" I whispered.

I admit, I can feel his sincerity towards my son. But I am afraid. I feared that I would forget everything he did to me just because he was making up his shortcomings with my son.

My attention was focused on the door when I heard three faint knocks. I slowly pulled myself away from Erom then stood out of bed. I walked towards the door and opened it. Manang immediately appeared with a miserly smile on her lips.

"Your husband is already there, dear," she informed.

"Ex-husband, Manang," I corrected.

The old woman scratched her nape. "My apologies. I was just too used to it," she apologized.

I just smiled sparingly and then nodded. "I'll just go to him first. You can go to sleep."

She just nodded again and let me have my way. "He was in his room," she informed before I could even get away.

I don't know but every step I take, the beat of my chest went louder and louder.

What will I say?

I wanted to tweak myself because I do not have any ideas what to tell him. I stopped for a moment and think.

Why do I have something to say?

Because of that I pulled a courage again from somewhere. I shouldn't think about things that aren't necessary. I will go to him because I want to check if his okay. That's all.

I took a deep breath as I reached the front door of Valjerome. I stared at it for a moment and slowly raised my hand to knock.

"Come in," his voice came weakly from within.

Tremblingly, I turned the doorknob and then pushed it to open. I even remained standing on my feet when I caught him taking off his upper clothes.

"S-Sorry," I stuttered and quickly turned around.

"It's okay, I'm not naked anyway," he said.

Isn't he naked yet? Maybe he meant literally naked.

I cleared my throat and slowly faced him again. I didn't want to but he might think I was really affected seeing his body. Tss! I am not into abs.

I was about to ask if he's already okay, but my eyes squinted when I saw something.

I have just seen that scar in his chest for now. It's like...it was hit by a bullet.

"Why are you here?"

My attention turned to him again when he spoke. He's intently looking at me as if it was a miracle that I approached him.

I cleared my throat and secretly glanced at his bandaged waist. "I-I just want to check if you're okay," I uttered.

"You don't want me to die?"

Shocked. My mouth parted at his question. I blinked a few more times and replayed that in my mind.

His eyes became soft as he stared at me. "I thought...you'll be happy seeing me hurt," he whispered.

I remained silent to what he said. Yeah, I hate him and there were times that I don't even know where my anger is coming from but not to the point where I hope he dies.

"What are you saying?" that's all I replied to all the things I heard from him.

His eyes became tender even more. "Nothing. I'm just thinking too much. I thought you'll be happy if I am hurt because of what I did in the past."

My jaw clenched and averted my eyes. “I am not that kind of a person who celebrates if someone is grieving or something bad happened to them, Valjerome,” I claimed.

"I knew. I'm just lost earlier, I didn't mean what I've said," he explained.

I sighed and looked at him again. For a moment I glanced at the bandage wrapped around his body.

"Does it...hurt?" I asked, concerned.

"Not that much," he answered, still staring at me.

I slowly nodded and averted my eyes for the nth time. I can't stare at him for too long because of his naked top! Yes, I am not into abs, but still it's a bit...awkward?

"Alright, you are just fine. I'll be back in my room then," I said and was about to turn around when he suddenly shouted.

"Ah! Ouch! It hurts!" he cried consecutively.

Panicking, I quickly attended him. "What happened?! Did your wound open?!" I nervously asked when I approached him.

I immediately checked his side, looking to see if it was bleeding more.

"I don't think I can move my other arm. My wound is being stretched," he said.

I just nodded and then looked up at him. I was stunned for a moment at the closeness of the distance between the two of us. I tried to avert my eyes but I also closed my eyes tightly when I looked at his stomach.

The bandage on his body is only few inches wide so I can still see some of his abs. I may not be fascinated by such a thing but I am still human, I know how to look which things are good and not.

"I-I'll just call Manang to help you," I said and slowly walked away.

"Is she still awake?" he asked.

I stopped in my tracks when I remembered that told her to get to sleep already.

"I don't know," I answered softly.

"Can you atleast help me dress up?" Valjerome mumbled.

I gulped and hesitated to look at him. "O-o-okay." I secretly pinched myself for stuttering a few times.

Calm down, Jazzie. Why are you nervous? You are thinking too much!

"Thanks," Valjerome said sparingly and sat down on the floor beside his bed.

I started walking towards his cabinet and chose loose clothes so he could move comfortably.

I forced myself to calm down and tried not to tremble when I faced Valjerome again. Without a word, I carefully dressed him although I could still feel him looking at me.

"Does he take good care of you?" Valjerome asked calmly once I had put the dress on him.

I slowly distant myself and then met his eyes. I gave him a small smile.

"If you are referring to Chaos, then yes. He takes good care of me, not just me as well as our son," I replied.

I could see the pain in Valjerome's eyes but I just ignored it. I don’t know why he was acting like this. I can understand his part to my son but in other things, I don't get it.

"Can I...still say sorry?" he said softly.

I was out of myself when I clenched my fist. I gradually hid my emotions from earlier and replaced them with coldness.

"That won't change anything," I uttered coldly.

He didn't say a word and just kept looking at me.

"I'm going to sleep." I immediately turned my back on him and started walking away.

"I am really sorry..."

I stopped as I walked out of the room when I heard him speak. I kept my back to him. I didn't even bother to face him.

"I would like to apologize for everything I have done. I'm not saying this because I want you back nor for you to introduce me to my son. I am apologizing because I knew...I have hurt you so bad back then."

I scoffed and laughed sarcastically. I even looked up on the ceiling to suppress my tears.

"It's too late to apologize," I stated and finally left his room.

My child is gone.