Chapter 31: Chapter 31

"Let me go, Valjerome," I said in a cold voice.

He did not say a word and kept his arm around my knee.

"Please..." he murmured.

I laughed sarcastically and looked up to suppress my tears. "Don't you think it's unfair?" I uttered.

"I know," he replied hoarsely. "But I am still hoping that you'll give a chance."

"Do you think it will be that easy? Do you think I can bring my son closer to the person who wanted to kill him before?" I couldn’t help but vent my resentment.

I felt his embrace tightened. "I won't hurt him. I just want to hold him, Jazzie." Slowly, he moved his head and looked up at me.

His eyes were red as if he wanted to shed more tears. I admit, there is something inside me that is shocked at what he is up to now. The Valjerome in front of me was far from the person I used to know years ago who has no emotion and not casually fainting. In a moment, I remembered the old Valjerome I grew up with¾the one who suddenly disappeared once we both got married.

"Kill me. Kill me if I hurt him. Kill me if I made him cry. Kill me if I did something wrong," he sincerely uttered.

I scoffed. "I'm not like you, Valjerome. I am not that heartless to kill a person no matter how bad they are to me," I rebuked.

He stared at me softly. "I knew. Because you're the best person I've ever known," he mumbled.

I averted my eyes and tried to break from his hold. He let me go weakly as he remained kneeling in front of me.

"I can't let you be with my son," I said coldly.

He quickly crawled closer to my place and then hugged my legs again.

"Valjerome!" I shouted.

"Please, Jazzie. Please…just for a week. Let me go near him, to hold him." He buried his face on my knees again. "I will let you go after," he weakly continued.

"Just for a week," he claimed.

I didn’t answer and just closed my eyes in frustration.

He was the one who committed the sin, but why it seems like I was  the bad one in this situation?

I am not bad. But for my son, I can be anything for him.

"Let me go, Valjerome," I said softly, tired of my emotions.

He shook his head. "Please, Jazzie. I am begging you. I will do everything in exchange for the time to be with my son. Just a week, please. I will not ask for too much," he said. "Even if I need to pay for every minute, I'll spend my money. Even if...I let you after a week, I will. Just give me a chance."

"Let me go and let me decide for that," I said emotionlessly.

I felt him stiffened. Slowly, he distanced his body and looked at me.

"Y-You'll give me a chance?" he asked.

“I said I’ll think about it, Valjerome,” I remind.

He swallowed and nodded his head like an obedient child. "I'll wait," he said and gently released me.

I didn't say anything. I slowly turned my back on him and walked out of the room.

How can I trust you with my child?

"HMM, do you want this?"

I secretly winced as I watched my son and Valjerome. He's standing in front of my child, giving him a medium size toy car. Erom hesitated to turn to me, as if I will be the one to decide whether he would accept the toy or not.

I sighed and walked near them. "Do you like it?" I asked.

We are now in a mall where Valjerome closed exclusively just for us.  I am no longer wondering why he has done it. Yes, I gave him a chance. But as he requested, I would just allow him to be with or hold my child and after a week, we would leave as soon. That's enough. I will never get to the point where I will introduce him to Erom as his father. Aside from the reason that it may confuse my child, I also can't bear to tell him the truth in case he questions about what happened.

"Can I...have it, Mom?" Erom whispered as he looked at me.

I tried to smile and caressed his hair. "If you like," I replied.

He turned his gaze back to Valjerome who was about to become a stump in his position. I don't get him, he wanted to touch or hold his child. But the way he treated Erom, it was like he'll be electrocuted once he touched him.

"Are you giving it for free?" my son asked.

Valjerome's eyes slowly widened, a few moments later it returned to normal and he hesitated to laugh. It did not escape my sight when he placed a hand on his neck and caressed it.

"Can I ask something in return?" he asked.

"We don't have money. My dad is not here to pay for the toys," my son replied.

In a snapped, Valjerome's eyes glimmered in sadness. I just looked away and secretly pinched my finger.

Valjerome slowly knelt down and forced himself to smile. "I'm not going to ask for money in return," he said softly as he stared at my son.

"What is it?" Erom asked with his innocent curiosity.

Valjerome stared at my son for a moment and then put down the toy he was holding to the floor. "Can you..." His adam's apple moved slowly. "Give me a hug in exchange?" he continued with his raspy voice.

Erom didn't answer right away and just stared at Valjerome.

"Will that make you happy?" he said afterwards.

Valjerome was stunned by what my son asked. Even my attention went to him.

"I noticed that your eyes are always sad," my son continued when Valjerome didn't answer him.

I bit my lower lip when I saw Valjerome's eyes watered. He forced himself to laugh and then looked up to hold back his warning tears.

"Yeah, that will make me happy. So can you give me a hu—"

Valjerome froze so did I.

"Just tell me if it is enough," Erom murmured as he hugged him tight.

With trembling hands, he slowly wrapped around my son as if like he was an expensive porcelain. He even buried his face on Erom's shoulder then lightly kissed his side hair.

I was caught off guard when he looked at me with his teary eyes. "Thank you," he mouthed as a single tear escaped from his eye.

He secretly wiped it off and hugged my son again as if enjoying that moment.

I just looked away and smiled wryly at the thought.

If he let me continue my pregnancy back then…would I still have Erom's twin?

If he only listened when I told him I was pregnant, would I still be having miscarriage due to my crying every night?

I laughed and looked up to stop my tears. It already happened, I could no longer bring back my lost child.