Chapter 24: Chapter 24

‘CHAPTER 23

CAELUM

The resounding door broke me out of my trance. Newman rushed at my side and said in an urgent voice, “My Lord, she’s gone! I couldn’t – I tried to stop her but I am so d with shock and the next thing I know, she’s outta door, the blasted woman!” Newman sighs, face sweaty and full of worry. I gave him a curious look and shook my head at him. “Let her be. She has lost the plot. I do not care what she does, better let her do what she reckons is best for her.”

A silence dawned between the both of us. I resumed eating the egg, asking Newman to prepare a new batch of pancakes since Rubin consumed it all. “Are you not going to follow her, my lord? She appears to be distressed, a bit knackered, too. With all the things that happened, we never know what she might do next.”

I glared at Newman’s back, turning the page of the newspaper, “There’s no point chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be caught, Newman. Focus on your job on making those pancakes, I’m still famished.”

“But it is how women are, my lord, they loved to be pampered. They have to be chased and charmed!”

“Honestly, Newman, who is your real lord? Judging by the way you talk back to me; it seems that the nutter has grown on you.” I rolled my eyes, “Besides, chasing her is a complete waste of time.” Newman raised one of his delicate eyebrows, his eyes not leaving mine. “I don’t chase women; you know that it is not my nature. They do the chasing and I do the waiting and that’s how it is. You have known me for a decade already, and I expect that you have a scoop of how I am with women.” I bowed my head, ignoring Newman’s inquisitive gaze that is burning my forehead.

“My lord, if you consider the fact that you looked for her for couple of weeks and you found her, and she’s here, only to have you drive her away again – isn't that a much waste of time?” His voice is filled with concern that it piques my curiosity, I had to stop reading, drawing my gaze away from the newspaper and to Newman who is transferring the pancakes on a plate, his brows furrowed.

“Are you trying to outsmart me, Newman? Have I not made it clear that I don’t want to follow her, anymore? She’s free from me, as she should be from the moment we met. I shouldn’t have let myself be involved with the likes of her for nothing comes out good with getting all chummy with a Cupid.”

Newman bit his lip, tilting his head on the side before turning back on the stove, the bowl of pancake batter balanced on his arms. Feeling unsatisfied of my own answer, I crossed my arms and continued, “Understand that if I did succumb to the desire of following her again for the second time, my reputation of being a Dieuoubliè will be ruined.”

“Why does your reputation be of any importance here, my lord? You've been so worried when you take her in yesterday, and don’t forget the kindness you have shown her. Believe it or not, I am aware of the fact that your heart-”

“Don’t even get started with my heart, Newman, for it has died when I was banished, being the first to suffer the consequence of loving a human. You are lucky to have only your memories wiped, imagine having no capability of interpreting your feelings - wouldn’t that be more tragic?” my voice rang out loud and clear. I watched as Newman gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he nervously looks away. “There’s nothing that has change in me or whatsoever. The one whom we are talking about is nothing to me now for she has become human. She is no more than a mortal; searching for the parents that might have died already. She is nothing but a feeble creature, vulnerable to death and is not considered a threat, so I’ll let her be.”

“Then that’s it, my lord?” Newman asked, his voice changing off to his submissive tone to a stubborn one, “You have no use for her which is why you are abandoning her?”

His words brought a bitter taste in my mouth, I shook my head and said, “I’m glad you finally understand.” I sighed, my chest tightening. Newman doesn’t seem to notice the change on my demeanor as I breathe harshly, pushing myself up on the chair, “I’ve lost my appetite. If you want, you can eat this batch of pancakes.” I turned and hastily tried to escape to my room as fast as I could to not alert a distracted Newman who is still trying to digest what I just said.

With my fist balled up, I made my way out of the kitchen, feeling my breathing increased, coming out labored. I looked up the stairs and cursed myself for making it so high for I don’t have enough energy in me to proceed. I screwed my eyes shut as the pain on my chest worsen, making me double over in pain while I grip the banister tight, out of breath. My shirt is sticking tight on my skin because of the amount of sweat I have perspired with the effort I exerted to reach the top of the stairs, stumbling as I take to the landing, catching myself just on time before I collapsed down.

The hallways are dimly lit with only a chink of the beautiful day gleaming from the floors of the room opposite me. I stared out of the window, frowning at the fast-moving clouds that have now resorted to ruining the brilliance outside. A feeling of remorse occupies my thoughts as I imagine her storming out of her room with nothing but her satchel and the clothes I have lent her.

Humans will surely stare at her odd appearance but knowing her, she wouldn’t care.

The matter of her appearance has always been a subject to our usual quarrel and I kind of miss that about her.

It's not that I am worrying about her but I keep on wondering, where would she go?

I shook my head trying to avoid thinking about her as I practically crawled my way towards my bedroom. It was locked and even if I waved my hands on it, it won’t barge. Pushing myself up and leaning against the door, I bit down a curse that would have escaped my mouth because of the intensity of the pain I am feeling. I turned the door knob and entered the room, stumbling inside because I couldn’t stay on my feet. I fell on a heap down on the carpet, crawling a distance before I waved my hand to close the door, with a bang that echoed inside the manor. I entered my room that is heavily darkened by the dark curtains and the lack of sunlight, wishing nothing but to have someone caress my face and assure me that everything will be alright.

I howled, facing down the carpet to avoid being heard by Newman, trying to mufflw my screams. I am shaking so hard, my chest felt like it would burst any minute. With labored breathing, I agonizingly crawled up the bed , pulling the sheets only to collapse back on the carpet, landing with a thud. I tried for the second time, my legs and limbs shaking so hard making it appear as though I am suffering from a seizure. Gritting my teeth, I managed to lean half of my body on top of the bed, wriggling so that I am able to situate myself comfortably, breathing out a sigh as my whole body succumbs to the pain.

The first thud on my chest felt like someone is stomping on me with a giant foot that I couldn’t help but gasp. I clawed at my chest; my jaw painfully clenched as I felt the second thud echoing audibly, shaking my whole. I howled in pain, turning my face down on the sheets to muffle it. I am breathing harshly, moaning because I cannot fathom the feelings I am having now.

It was a miracle that Newman had not barge inside my room and demand what the whole racket is all about. I bet he was enjoying the chocolate syrup and maple – those were his favorites after all.

With a whimper, I grasped the sheets tightly and tried to ease myself up into a sitting position, gasping for air. I glared at my warped reflection at the window, noticing the bulge protruding from my back.

My eyes widen at the sight of it and with a tentative hand, I reached out to touch it, an audible gasp escaping my mouth. The protruding bulge growing before my eyes – now about a foot long that my shirt couldn’t hold it in any longer and it ripped, revealing a beautiful pair of my golden wings. The sight of it made me sick.

Why now?

I frowned at my reflection, pulling away from the tattered remains of my shirt. The pain on my chest subsided into a slight burning feeling, the harsh thud now a dulled beat against my skin. I slide out of the bed and touched my reflection, not believing it. With a flick of my hand, I felt the soil on the pad of my feet. I started to run up the hill, huffing and puffing.

The dome appeared instantly and I plunged my hand at it, not pausing as I am swallowed inside, the veins enclosing me.

The darkness made me stop.

I blinked my eyes, squinting as I tried to make out the shapes of the carousels and rides. I reached out my hand and closed my eyes as I touched it.

The bright glow pierced the lid of my eyes and I slowly opened them, not believing what I am seeing.

The whole carnival was lit.

For years I have tried and the first time it has ever glowed is when Rubin touches a carousel – does it mean that I am a restored Cupid now?

I touched my golden wings and breathe the air in. I sit down on the cold earth, watching the carousels turn, their bright lights distracting me. With eyebrows furrowed – I pondered on what had just happened. My ruthless words I have directed towards Rubin this morning might be the triggering factor for my change.

I did not really mean any of it.

The thud on my chest turned more and more vicious, starting the assault once again as I tried to delve deeper in my thoughts.

It was Rubin who restored me; it is because of my thoughts of her that I am painfully suffering just because a small organ reawakened from a slumber that has lasted for a millennium – unknown and silent until a few minutes ago.

Now that I am a cupid, what should I do?

I can’t fall in love with Rubin – that will be wrong, unacceptable and purely out of topic. It will be like the repeat of our past just like how it is told in the books.

She is a human!

The only thing that I could possibly do now is to make her forget about me –but can I do that?

I cringe as I felt my heart being squeezed - a painful answer to my question.

I can’t do it.

Rubin has grown on me; I can’t just wipe her memories and go on with life. I pulled my hair and ran my hands on my face repeatedly. I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking hard about what I should do next – shall I go to her and explain my situation? Or should I – the glint caught my attention and I headed across the dome, plunging my hand in the brambles that surrounded the base.

Frowning, I pulled and stared at the steel arrow. I held it on my hand and will for it to turn gold.

With bated breath, I waited patiently for it to turn gold only to frown as I inspected the arrow - it stayed the same with only hints of gold at the base. This only means one thing – my transformation is not yet completed.

I am not yet a full pledged cupid.

Feeling a little bit hopeful, I pocketed the arrow and plunged my hand at the thick wall of veins. The bright morning sun seems to cheer me up as I trudged down the hill and brushed my hand on top of the carnations.

I can still be with Rubin.

If I stopped my transformation, we have a chance to be together. I don’t care if she’s a human now - I can find ways to make her immortal. What I should worry about now is to find a way to make her come back. I flicked my hand, a grin forming on my lips as I returned back to Autahvuwns manor. My room materializes in an instant, the soil turning to carpeted floors and the bed appearing from the bush of roses.

I hastily headed inside my wardrobe, feeling cheerful all of a sudden after I have come into realization that Rubin and I can still be together in this life.

The things I have written on my letters, the wishes I thought wouldn’t come true – all of them will finally happen. I looked at my reflection once, deciding that I should conceal my wings with the potion I brewed for Rubin. I pulled on a white shirt before putting on my cloak.

I flicked my hand and it directed me at a house not far from the center of the town. The garden of violets is enchanting though it won’t rival with the magnificence of that from my field. With a snort, I quietly entered the gates, aware of the noise coming from the inside – I can hear Aeon’s inquisitive voice intermingled with Rubin’s flustered one. I crouched, cautiously treading my way on the zigzag path leading to the front door and settled down by the window, trying to eavesdrop into their conversation.

A very awkward silence passed and I heard a girl scream – with a stealth glance at the window, I was surprised to see the odd girl whom Aeon took a fancy with; the girl that look exactly like the one he was betrothed with who have died for him in the past. She looks at where Aeon has vanished while Rubin held on her tight.

“What in the seventh heaven is that nutter talking about?”

Rubin shrugged a shoulder, tucking the arrow inside her robes and saying, “No idea.”

The gleam of the arrow on Rubin’s hands seems to light the anger that I haven’t know before. I flicked my hand and materialize just near enough to snatch Rubin on my arms and leave the human wondering again why everyone else is disappearing on her sight.

“What-?!” Rubin’s eyes widened at the sight of me. She pulls away, her face as red as her hair, “What did you do that for?” Rubin exclaimed as she hit me with her tiny fist. I arched an eyebrow at her direction, ignoring the directed glare at me before capturing her in my arms, burying my face in her bushy fiery hair.

I inhaled her scent, relishing to the sweet flowery smell. She gasps at my action and I hastily pulled away from her – her face flushed, her lips slightly open, while her vivid green eyes remain wide as saucers.

I bet that she is beyond shocked of my affection for I am equally flustered.

“What exactly are you trying to do, Caelum?” Not answering her, I settled down on the cool hard earth and breathe in, enjoying the dusk that surrounded us on the field. Sighing, I leaned back, my hands supporting my head, still not answering her.

“Caelum-”

Her voice sounds confused, her face more so. She settled next to me and picked a rose from the bush, twirling it on her hand as she asked me, “Why did you take me here?”

“To apologize.” I said in a rushed tone as I sit up, afraid that I won’t be given more chance to explain so I continue, “I shouldn’t have said that to you. I wasn’t thinking about your feelings – I’m so used of being a Dieuoubliè – of playing with people’s emotions that I did not realize I am hurting you.” which is hurting myself too. I bit my lip, not wishing to confess much about what I am experiencing, what I am feeling. “Have I made myself understandable, at least?”

She raised an eyebrow at my words. I pulled her hand and arranged her so that she is lying next to me. “I am speaking nothing but the truth. You might not believe me but, finding about your uneventful transformation because of the arrow I was given, it made me feel so guilty that I resulted to saving my own skin – trying to blame it to other people.” She looks at me, her eyes full of doubt as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You have to put yourself in my shoes. I have lived a millennium waiting, hoping for love. This earth has been harshed on me, and I have chosen to live against love just like how Gaea asked me to. But meeting you after I have given up on love, it started…something in me.” Gritting my teeth, I bowed my head, trying not to burst into flames with all of the emotions I am feeling.

Why is it that my face felt very hot?

I scratched my head and bit my cheek, “I’ve come into a realization that it doesn’t matter to me anymore – if I am a Dieoublie and you are a banished Cupid, or if I am a Cupid and you are a human – I just want us to try, to see what will happen to us in this life time.”

I raised my head and looked at her woefully. Her lips slowly tugged on the side and before I knew it, she had captured me in a hug. “I know you regret it and I am so happy that you finally accepted your feelings.” I am left, gawking down at her. “How’d you know?”

“Well, Aeon has mention some...facts about you.” She smirked at me and I raised an eyebrow in her direction. “He actually told me all about your feelings the second time you brought me. It was at this field when he threw meaningful glances at me, stating the fact that you care more about me than you know. He always tells me that he is quite surprise of your playful, teasing treatment towards me. I was totally mind blown just like how humans say it, mind blown.” I chuckled at her words, a bit fascinated about her chosen vocabulary.

“About the arrow,” She began, her trembling hands moving back to the pocket in her green robes. “I don’t think you will agree to it but Aeon mentioned-“

I gritted my teeth and glared at the arrow as she take it out. The golden engravings gleaming as it catches sunlight, making me roll my eyes in irritation. “You dare show that to me? That’s the mark of my fall. I don’t appreciate–“ I hissed, trying to snatch the arrow from her but she draws back, her expression clouded.

“No!”

“Give it to me. I should banish that arrow and never let you take a hold of it.”

“No. Caelum, listen-“

“You don’t understand, Rubin. That arrow is cursed and-“

“No, Caelum. Listen, listen!” She hastily stuffed the arrow inside her satchel and plead, “This arrow will be our hope. It will not cause your fall, I have assured you of that. If I must, I stand with Aeon and will find a way to prove to you that this arrow shall only end your everlasting life.”

“But I-“ She held my hand and tenderly nuzzled her head on my palm as she looks at me.

“I know you are not happy with what will happen since you are used to spending a lifetime of a millennia and now be forced a limited time here on earth – a mundane boring life as you call it – but you are going to spend it with me.” Her voice trembled as she held my hand and tried to pull me close. “ We will live the life that we should have had, Caelum. The heavens is finally granting you, us, that chance.” Two beautiful pearls of tears fell on her eyes and I can’t help but sigh, my hands caressing her face, tenderly.

We watched as the beautiful dusk faded into night and I conjured a fire to keep Rubin warm. Looking down at her, I took off my cloak and draped it over us. She snuggled close to me, my arm on her shoulder and hers on my waist. We stayed like that, not speaking, both occupied with our thoughts.

“We don’t have to use it if you want,” She nuzzles her head on the crook of my neck as she take the arrow out of her satchel. She pulls away from me and stood.

“What?”

“We can choose our fate and not depend on what is written. We can live on our own, and decide what is best for us both.” She gave me a smile, holding the arrow tight as she stretches her arm, hurling the arrow into the black mast – the gleam of it fading, vanishing in the dark. “I’m sure we can find a way to extend my life here on earth. Who knows? Maybe you can turn me immortal, too?” I looked at her like she grew another head.

Smirking, she settled back on my arms and hug me tight, whispering, “I don’t care what happens now. That arrow started it all. I believe that it won’t do us any good if I plunged it on your chest.” She snuggled close to my chest and sighed in contempt. I marveled down at her, feeling renewed. I want to kiss her right then and there for doing that to the arrow but I restrained myself into tucking a ginger hair beneath her ear.

I remembered the golden box of chocolates I prepared for when she comes back. Missy has stated that she will personally arrange her certain favorites that Rubin herself would love. Pulling away from her, I said, “Would you care to wait? I just need to get something. I won’t take that long.” She looks at me, her eyes awfully sad that it made the tiny little organ in my chest erratically shake my ribcage, twisting in disapproval.

“Promise me,” she held out her pinky finger and I snorted at her action, not believing her, “Caelum, you have to promise me. Pinky swear that you will come back to me, and not leave me, ever.” I sighed, looking into her eyes as I laid my pinky over hers and twisted it, stamping her thumb, “I will come back to you and I promise that.”

I flicked my hand after I have said the words, watching her as she faded back into the bush of roses.

The earth beneath me was replaced by the carpeted floors, the field transitioning to that of my office located in Japan. I hastily snatched the golden box of chocolates from the top of my table, smiling to myself.

Rubin will surely like it.

I couldn’t wipe the smirk off my face as I stand straight, preparing to fade into background only to stop short. My chest tightened and I doubled over in pain, my face twisted in agony. I groaned and grasped the sides of the sofa, trying to hold myself up.

I can hear the sound of splintering glass in the background, making me shift in a fighting stance as I look around the office. The sound has distracted me off the pain in my chest so I lingered, trying to figure out where the source came from. It stopped abruptly, leaving me confused and afraid. Was that a sign from Gaea? A warning, because I am not doing as she has asked?

Shaking my head, I flicked my hands for the second time and almost paled at the sight of the field appearing before me.

If the night sky was a glass dome, I believe that what I am seeing now is how it will appear to be if someone had accidentally hit it. The night sky has cracked and in the middle of it all was Rubin, unconscious as the echo of breaking glass still surrounded us, deafening me.

I ran at her, taking her in my arms as I leaned down my ears to her mouth.

I could hear nothing.

I took her wrist and checked her pulse, “Oh, please. Please, don’t. You promise!” I screamed down at her, hoping that this is some kind of a sweet joke she’s playing at. “Please,” I keep still, holding her close to me for I still felt nothing.

I couldn’t understand.

I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, hearing nothing but the dull echoing of breaking glass as my whole world shattered at last.

“NO!”

계속