Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Locking myself in the bathroom, I go to the sink and splash some water on my face. I exhale, I can’t believe myself, I have a serious problem, I mean what the hell is wrong with me, why do I tend to enjoy moments like that with Richie? It’s Richie for crying out loud, I hate him with all my heart and I hate everything about him but why- why do I like it when he touches me? Why do I enjoy his touch?

I sigh splashing water on my face again. All of this is just too much for me to handle. I don't understand why I can't resist Richie, resisting him is that simple, I just have to tell him that I’m not ready for this or tell him that now is not the time but somehow I can’t bring myself to do that. It’s almost as if I forget everything else in the world when he touches me and the only thing I can think of at that moment is what his hands are doing to me. God! This is so frustrating, I can’t keep doing this, Richie’s touch makes me weak. And I hate that. I don’t want to be weak, I need to be strong; I need to be able to resist him so I can focus on my goals.

My reflection in the mirror catches my attention as I lean against the sink. You have to be strong Rachel, you shouldn’t be thinking about Richie or even liking his touch; my inner self tells me. I stare at my reflection for a while and I nod in agreement, tugging a strand of hair behind my ear.

Yeah, I should be strong. I shouldn’t think about Richie, his touch, or anything like that. I need to focus. And so what if I let him touch me, it doesn’t mean anything, does it? And even though he gave me the best orgasm ever, I can forget about it and act like nothing ever happened. I tug a strand of hair behind my ear. I can do that; it’s that easy. I will just pretend that his touch means nothing to me, in fact, they don’t. I don’t feel anything; I try to convince myself.

I’m just pretending to like his touch so I can win his trust and when I do that. Everything will be easier for me. I will get to know who Ezra is, I will be able to ruin his life without him seeing it coming. It will be a win-win for both of us, just that my win will bring a smile to my face and Richie’s win; well he won’t be winning. I will.

I pull the towel off its hanger and I wipe my face. Now all I have to do is walk back into the office and act like nothing happened. I’m sure Richie still has that smirk of satisfaction on his face but it doesn’t matter because I’m not letting him touch me again. And even if he tries, I will just let him- you know why, because I need him to trust me and if that’s the only way to gain his trust then maybe I will; I think to myself.

Wanting to take a deep breath, a sigh escapes my mouth. No matter how I try to convince myself that I’m only doing things to gain his trust, I can’t bring my heart to agree with me. I sigh, letting my head drop, I feel so confused and pathetic right now. I can’t believe I’m being like this,

I can't believe I’m starting to like the same hands that killed my mom. What kind of a daughter am I? Self-disgust consumes me as I feel my heart ripping apart. Those are the same hands to kill my mom!

My mother!

And somehow I’m beginning to like them; my heart begins to shatter. I’m the worse person god has ever created. I hate myself for this.

Tears begin to well up in my eyes but I don’t let them fall. I can’t do that, I can’t like Richie’s hands. An awful thought waves through me and my heart starts beating a mile a minute as I begin to panic. Oh my god, what if I later fall in love with Richie, I mean it is only a matter of time because it’s happening already, I like his hands and soon I will like him too.

No, no, no.

I shake my head as I think about it. It can’t happen, can it? I can’t fall in love with Richie, can I? I can’t turn out to be a bad daughter, can I? Oh no. It can’t happen.

I try to calm myself as I take in deep breaths. This is all in my head. I’m here for a reason and I will stick to that no matter what. I will be strong; for my mom. I splash water on my face as I take in deep breaths. I’m overthinking things, nothing like that will happen, I don’t have to worry at all. I hate Richie Maranzano and I’m sure it will stay like that till death takes me away.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm down, I hear voices from outside the door. It sounds like someone is arguing. "Is that Richie," I whisper to myself as I heard his voice.

I wipe the wetness off my face before I open the door. "Richie what’s going-" I trail mid-sentence as shock takes hold of me.

Standing before me is a Swat Squad, four of the men are searching the room and the other is holding his gun at me ready to shoot. "What is going on?" My heart pound as I ask.

"Raise your hands up and get away from the door." Says one of the swat men

"Okay." I gulp the lump that formed in my throat. I raise my hands up and I move away from the door. I don’t know what is going on but I know it’s not good.

"Hey! You better get away from her!" Richie snaps at him as he rushes towards us.

"I know what I’m doing. This is my job, so you better not tell me what to do!" He responds in the same tone as Richie; he has a British accent. "Now back away!" He slightly hit Richie with the gun he’s holding.

Richie’s hands ball into a fist and a rage of anger lines on his forehead. He looks like he is going to say something but doesn’t. He sighs and takes a second to calm himself before he takes a step backward.

"You all are going to regret coming here. Especially you." Richie says as he points at the man standing in front of me. "There is absolutely nothing you can find here so you all should get your asses out of here before it gets bad for you."

"I’m pretty it’s gonna be the other way round, so stand back." The swat officer commands

Richie scoffs "I don’t think you know who I am but you will soon find out." He takes a step further.

"Don’t you dare move?" The swat officer slightly pushes Richie backward.

Richie’s eyebrows furrow as his gaze moves to his shoulder, his expression tells me that he is disgusted by the officer’s touch. His gaze moves back to the swat officer. "Do not touch me again." He uses his hand to slightly dust the part the swat touched.

"Rach, I’m sorry but you have to wait here. I will be back soon." He tells me.

Richie walks out of the room, the rest of the swat members were still searching around and I have my hand hanging in the air.

I take my hand down after a few minutes. I am still standing and waiting for Richie to come back, I wonder what’s taking him so long.

"Boss, there is nothing here." One of the swat members reports to the man standing in front of me. If I’m not mistaken, he is their boss.

He frowns at me as if I am the one that gave him the bad news "Where is it?" He snaps at me

"Where is what?" I ask

"Don’t taste my patience woman, tell me where it is!"

"I don’t know. I don’t even know what you’re talking about." I say

"You better-"

"I thought I was clear," Richie says cutting him off. He walks through the door "Do not talk to her in that tone. She is my fiancé, if you can’t have respect for me then at least you should have for her." He looks at me, his eyes shining with respect and somewhat affection.

"You better-"

"Enough!" Richie yells leaving no room for an argument. "I’m not gonna hold my anger anymore and I’m certainly not gonna waste my time talking to you or anyone else."

I’m not sure if talking to the swat officer in that tone will make matters any better.

"I will be leaving right now and when you’re done with your little search, you might wanna check your emails, I have a small surprise for you all," Richie says as he holds my hand in his.

Before they could say anything he walks us out of the room. Walking through the hallway, whispers and murmurs coming out from the coworkers encircled us. I’m sure they are wondering why all this is happening. I’m also wondering the same thing.

"Get the car ready, I’m leaving now." Richie says through the phone. I didn’t realize he was on call till now. He ends the call as he begins to walk fast. His pace is so fast that I’m finding it hard to keep up with him.

"You might wanna slow down, Richie. I can’t walk that fast." I tell him. I normally can walk fast but right now I’m wearing heels so it’s a little difficult.

"I’m sorry Rach, but we have to hurry. The media are on their way and I want to leave before they come."

"Okay, but what’s going on? I don’t really understand" I say.

"It’s complicated, but I promise I will explain everything to you once we get home." He responds.

We got out of the building and as always there were a bunch of people clicking photos of us and asking us a bunch of questions. I am quite surprised to see that the number of people is much higher than usual. I guess this Swat thing is a big deal.

"Okay but why was the swat team here?" I inquire. I can’t wait till I go home, I need to know everything now.

"They claim to have a search warrant. I think they heard the lies spreading around about me partaking in smuggling of drug trafficking and migrant trafficking." He says as we pass through the crowd and got into the car.

"Ohh, so they are part of the Russians, I mean the Russians sent them." I say once I settle down in the car. It only makes sense because the Russians started all these rumors and there is no surprise if they were the ones that sent the swat team here.

"Probably, I’m not really sure but it doesn’t even matter because someone close to me is helping them."

"What!" I exclaimed as flames of shock wave through me. I’m close to Richie and certainly I’m against him but I’m not partnered with the Russians. After what they did to Alice, I can’t imagine standing in the same field with them talk less about helping them.

"Yes, but you don’t have to worry because soon I will find out who it is," Richie says

I begin to think of who would be behind this. It has to be someone close to Richie, someone who knows a lot about him. But who? Who could be behind this and why?