Chapter 83: Chapter 83

"I know, I got lucky," I say with a smile. "Hopefully, she stays this quiet when I bring her home."

"She is very precious Ava, she reminds me so much of you."

"Aw, you're so sweet." I smile at Amos. He looks at me and I get a feeling that I have opened a door.

"Ava, there's something I have been meaning to tell you for a long time now." He looks down. "I-I don't really know how to say this but" He holds my hands. "Ava, I love you."

I was really hoping he hadn't said this. "I've loved you ever since the first year of University. I remember the first time I saw you. You looked lost. You were looking for your class. Your hair was straight down parted down the middle. You were wearing a white long sleeve shirt with dark denim jeans and I thought you were beautiful. I tried to reach you to talk to you but you were walking away. I didn't think I'd see you again but fortunately for me you were in my class. You sat in front of me and I remember the whole class, I was distracted by your perfect hair and your vanilla scent. I could never find the right time to say it. Now I think it is."

He stops talking and I don't say anything. Why did he have to open his mouth and tell me this? It was fine when he loved me secretly and I just pretended not to know. Who was I kidding though? He was bound to tell me eventually. I just hoped I'd have a perfect excuse by the time he did.

"Uh, Amos. That's really sweet." I look around for an excuse. I spot the baby. "I'm just not in a place where I can be in a relationship right now. I just had a baby. I should really focus all my time and energy on Melody right now." I take a deep breath. That wasn't a bad excuse. I'm very proud of myself.

He looks sad for a second. "You're right. I understand." He then looks at me, his eyes bright with another idea. Oh no. "See, I had a feeling you might have said that. I thought about it. Ava, I love you and Melody is a part of you, so I love her too." He's saying all the right things, it's just coming from the wrong guy. He continues. "I will help you raise Melody. I'll Help support you. Maybe even help you move into a bigger place so there'd be more room for her. I've been working at this car shop downtown. I make a lot of money. Maybe not as much as Noah, But enough to help out, to start a life together. What do you think?"

"Amos, I-I"

"Ava, all you have to say is I love you too. Don't worry about the rest. We'll figure it out"

"I'm sorry Amos, but I don't love you." His face turns serious. The light has escaped from his eyes. He looks confused as if I've been giving him reason to believe that I ever loved him. Did he really think I did?

"It's because of that rich guy Noah right?" His grip gets tighter on my hands. His face was consumed with anger and jealousy. "Ever since he walked into your life, you've been different. He's married Ava, you can't be with him. Guys like him don't love, they don't settle down with just one woman. He's a player, a loser. A rich spoiled boy who cares about nobody but himself." His grip gets even tighter.

Just then Noah comes in. He looks at my hands interlocked with Amos, and he looks upset.

"What's going on here?" he says, his eyes still focused on our hands. I quickly take my hands from Amos'.

"Nothing" I blurt out. For some reason, I feel guilty. I don't know if it's because of the way I feel for Noah or the fact that he looks like he's about to punch Amos in his face.

Amos looks at my hands, then at Noah. "I was right," he says. He gets up angrily and approaches Noah. "Nothing is happening. Ava seems to fall for rich assholes like you," he says.

"What did you just say ?" Noah asks him. They're facing head to head. It's a death stare match. This lasts for about thirty seconds before Amos gives up. "I don't need this shit," Amos starts to walk out but Noah grabs his risk. "Don't come back here."

Amos jerks his wrist away and walks out the door. Noah fixes his suit and walks towards me.

"I don't want you seeing that guy again, you hear me, Ava?" He's looking at me intensely. Is he serious right now?

"Excuse me?" I ask him. "You can't tell me who I can and can't see."

"Yes, I can. I am Melody's father. I can choose who I want around my child."

"Amos wouldn't hurt Melody."

"I don't know him. I don't know what He's capable of doing."

"Well, I do know him. For four years. He would never hurt her."

He picks up my wrist. Pink marks are there from when Amos gripped them. "But he could hurt you," he says. I quickly hide my wrists.

"It wasn't like that," I barely whisper.

He gets up and punches the wall.

"Dammit Ava. Can't you just listen to me? He hurt you, which means he can hurt Melody too. I'm trying to protect you, don't you get it?"

"You want to protect Melody? Fine. I don't want Devlin around her. I don't trust her."

"What? Ava, she's going to be my wife."

"So it's okay for Devlin but not for Amos?"

"It's not the same." He says.

"Why not?" I ask

"Because Devlin is my fiancé and Amos is just some guy." He's standing up now.

"What if I decide to marry Amos, then what?"

"Why are you making this so complicated?" He asks me.

"No, I'm just asking a simple question. If I do decide to be with Amos, which is what he wants by the way. He wants to be a part of Melody's life. He wants to be with me. Will he be allowed to see her?" I challenge him. There's no way he can say no to this. If he does, then he's being a hypocrite.

"The answer is still no."

"Why not? It's the same situation as yours."

"You're not marrying Amos, Ava. So stop with the hypothetical questions."

"Well, eventually I'm going to be with somebody. And we will get married. Then what?"

This argument is so useless, I think to myself. I want to end it, but I don't want him to win.

"You're not going to get married to anyone." He blurts out. "I don't want you to."

I'm surprised now but also angry.

"So it's okay that you get married, but I can't?" I ask myself. "What am I to you? Your side chick?"

"No, Of Course not. That's not what I meant. I just..I-uh." He looks for the words to say. "I don't know Ava, the thought of you being with someone just bothers me. I don't know how to explain it."

The tension has died now.

"I understand what you're saying. How do you think I feel every time I see you with Devlin? Or even the fact that you're about to marry her?"

He doesn't say anything. Instead, he stares at the flowers Amos brought for me.

"Fuck, I know." He says. "I just. I made a commitment Ava. I would love so much to break it. Especially for you, for us. But I can't."

He gets a phone call.

"It's work," he says. "I know you're leaving tonight. I'll come back to bring you and Melody home."

He walks out without saying another word.

For the past four weeks, Amos and I haven't really spoken. I decided to give him some space to cool off. I think it's for the best.

It's been really dry with Noah also. I still see him. He visits and takes care of melody, but the hospital conversation really put us in an awkward place.

I'm angry at him because of everything he told me and he still picks Devlin. Devlin is going to crush his heart. She's going to suck the life out of him and I'm not going to be there when she does. Hopefully, I'll find someone by then and he will regret the day he chose Devlin.

I'm sitting in the living eating chips when Dayna shows up.

"Are you going to sit here and eat junk all day?" She asks me.

I groan.

"Ava come on, you knew he was getting married tomorrow. You've known for months now."

"But it's really happening. I just thought after our talk, I don't know, maybe he'd break it off."

I stuff a bunch of chips in my mouth.

"You look like a disaster."

"Well, call me when the person you love gets married, then you'll understand how I feel."