Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Standing up and making her way to the kiosk to purchase some water, Kendall left Grayson, who then was absorbed in a book under his favorite tree. To keep herself from disturbing him while he studied, she made her time momentarily occupied by hanging out in the store. Glancing at the clock, she grabbed her water, stood, and started her way back when she estimated that the man might have finished, if not almost, what he was doing.

Taking strides along the familiar pathways, she spotted Cady from afar, hastily approaching Grayson in what seemed to be a very somber expression. Kendall positioned herself behind a nearby tree and sat on its roots as she periodically peeked at the two. She wouldn’t be surprised if a heated conversation would start right there and then.

"I've heard that you went to a strip club again. Is that true?" the woman confronted, her arms crossed, her voice slightly raised.

"It's none of your business," though calm, it was evident that Grayson was trying to control himself as he replied. He refused to look at her and just continued to bury his focus on the open book in his hands.

“It is obviously still my business, Grayson,” Cady hissed. “What are you doing to yourself? I know you, you’re better than this.”

Grayson stood up, brushing off some leaves that fell on his pants before he faced the woman. Grinning as he spoke, a hint of pride in his eyes was present, “Why, Cady? What kind of person should I be? What kind of person do you think I am? Do you still see in me a fool guy whom you could easily cheat on?”

Cady stood there speechless, averting her gaze into everything her eyes met. The sudden unexpected topic brought her an uncomfortable expression. She tried to compose herself, cleared her throat, and replied, “H-how many times do I have to tell you, Grayson? I didn’t cheat on you, not even once.”

“It must be my eyes, then. Am I just seeing things? Am I just hallucinating that day when I saw my girlfriend kissing another man? Shall I speak in detail about what I witnessed?”

“It was out of my own accord, Grayson! I was tricked by that guy. And you... I was expecting you to listen and understand. Instead, you’ve become unfair to me. You easily judged and dumped me without even giving me a chance to explain.”

"Do you expect me to be fair to the person who has been hurting me behind my back, and just let it pass like it’s nothing?" he spoke in an unbelieving tone, almost like a burst of bittersweet laughter.

“Do you think it didn’t affect me either, Grayson? I am also hurt. This pain has been bugging me all the time since you distanced yourself. And it’s even making me crazier because of what you’re doing to yourself now!”

“I didn’t ask for your care; who told you to still give me that? Here’s something you should know... there’s nothing to worry about. I’m happier now, even happier than the time we were together. In fact, thanks to you, I realized there’s more to life than books, school, love, and relationships!”

“You’re happier? I don’t buy that pretension, Grayson. If you hate me, then fine! Just hate me. But stop doing this crap to yourself!”

Noticing how their conversation was coming to its boiling point, the man took a deep breath to calm himself. It took a moment before he spoke again, “Let’s stop this nonsense, Cady.” His voice was calm and more controlled this time. “I don’t think there’s any option we should do now but move on with our lives. It’s been a while since we parted, it’s high time we just move forward. In fact, I’ve got a girlfriend already and we love each other.”

She smirked, but it was a painful smile. “You love her? Do you love her more than you did to me?”

Grayson didn’t answer. He just remained silent standing there, staring at the woman in front of him.

“If you really love her, then stop all your antics, Grayson. Because if you don’t... if you continue destroying yourself with these habits... I would only interpret it as one thing: that you are still enclosed by our breakup, that you can’t move on from me.” She slowly took a few more steps closer to him, not letting go of the intense gaze she had. “As long as you’re making me think this way, I’d assume you still want me. Then, I won’t leave your side, Grayson, because your actions imply that I still own your heart; that I still own you.”

As soon as she finished stating those words, the woman turned on her heels and made her way back to the crowd, leaving the man at a loss.

Regaining his composure, Grayson furiously kicked the tree behind him as he watched Cady walk away. He tried to control himself from yelling a curse, but his jaws were clenching as her words played in his mind again.

Kendall, who was still sitting quietly on a nearby tree, watched him throw his frustrations in the air before she decided to stand up and approach him. She took slow calculating steps, checking how outraged he might be. But judging from his deep, serious expression, she decided to walk nearer to him and handed over the water she purchased earlier.

“Thanks,” was the short reply from him as he reached out for the drink and gulped it all straight away. “How long have you been there?” Though asking her, Grayson was staring into a distance, looking like he was contemplating all that had just happened while controlling his breathing again.

She did not answer. It was better not to answer his question for now.

“Did you hear everything?” he continued.

“Why are you asking me? Does it matter? Have you forgotten that either I was there or not, I can pretend I didn’t hear anything?”

The man laughed wistfully. "Now you know who Cady is."

Nodding, Kendall turned her head to the man seated near her. She tried to recall how she had been when she was his age. She hadn’t experienced such a complicated thing before. All her time was spent with her family and building herself through studying. Why hadn’t love knocked on her heart? Wasn’t puberty a time to feel butterflies in your stomach whenever someone you admire passed by? Wasn’t it the time when you wish to explore things, especially love and relationships? Was she that preoccupied with reaching for her dreams, to aim and become a cop someday? Was that all she focused on during those years?

“Why are you staring at me? Do you pity me after hearing my conversation with her?”

She shook her head. “No, that’s your personal life. I’m not someone who should cross your boundaries. They’re off-limits, aren’t they? I’m just thinking about myself.”

“What is it you’re thinking of, then? Are you starting to wonder about our differences?”

"Huh? How did you guess?"

Amused and slightly proud of his correct guess, the man gave her a side glance before replying, “Because that is the thing that keeps bugging inside my head too. Are you any similar to me? Are you happy and content living alone? Have you tried dating?”

She shook her head as a reply.

“Why deprive yourself of such a wonderful experience? Imagine looking back one day and telling yourself how much you’ve learned from all those. It’s not too late yet. Our current age is the perfect time to explore things. It’s the sweetest age to meet people, date someone, enjoy relationships and have fun with others,” he suggested with a smile as his lethargy slowly faded.

“I don’t think I fit in dates. I’m not as endearing as other people are,” Kendall replied with a smirk.

“Hey, are you saying that people who go on dates are uncool?”

“That’s not what I mean,” she immediately corrected. “I don’t have time for those things because right now, there are a lot of things in my life that is enough to make me happy.”

“Like what? Hanging out with boys, instead of dating them? Fight? Race? Or is it about the gun shooting hobby, which excites you the most?” he commented sarcastically, enumerating all possible hobbies he knew she had.

Kendall, however, remained silent. Hopefully, she could explain to him that it was about being a cop and going on different operations and investigating things that were everything to her.

“See, now you can’t utter a single word. Hailey, loving someone is never identical to any human hobby or interest. It provides a different level of happiness, something that you will only understand once you experience it.”

With a serious expression, Kendall turned to him and threw him back his words, “Then Grayson, who can make you happier? Cady or Abigail?”

The unexpected straightforward question stunned the man at that moment. “W-why? How did our topic jump there?”

“You were talking about the kind of happiness you get from love and all that, so I am curious about the level of happiness you feel with them both, and with whom you’re happier.”

“Are you mocking me right now?”

“No,” she said simply and just stared at him with a challenging gaze. He might have more experience with love and relationships than her, but he still had no right to suddenly give her a lesson out of nowhere. If she looked at all the life experiences she had encountered, she could confidently say that she had much more understanding in life, not counting that she was older than him. And though she hadn’t fallen in love yet, she understood that not everything about this matter would bring happiness, considering that there was always a possibility of a person's feelings being right or wrong.

“Is it that hard to answer my question, Grayson?” she taunted.

“I-it’s not difficult. I just choose not to answer such ridiculous questions,” he replied, averting his gaze from her.

“You don’t want to answer, or you just don’t know the answer?” She sighed as she read his expression. Lifting her hands and placing them on either side of his face and forcing him to look at her, she continued, “Grayson, don’t ever let women dictate your happiness, let alone allow them to occupy your heart as much as you want to. A day might come when you realize that you feel suffocated by these relationships that you yourself can’t fully understand. Allow your heart to beat for someone who can give you lasting happiness,” she whispered and then tapped gently on his chest.

“H-Hailey…”

“Just a friend’s advice,” Kendall said as she placed her hands again on her lap. “You keep whoever should stay and you remove what should be removed.”

There was a moment of silence between the two as Grayson was taking in the woman’s words. She sat there watching people hustling in the distance. The man looked at her; he did not expect such serious words to come out of her, not even in the topic they started conversing about.

Unable to receive any reply from him, Kendall stood up and shook off fallen leaves from her dress. “It’s almost time for our next class,” she said cheerfully.

Grayson, still unable to come up with any word to say, remained seated for a moment. Stunned, he just followed her with his eyes as she departed for the next building.

“Hailey, wait!” Grabbing his things from the ground, he chased her. Still panting from the run, he continued the discussion with her, “How can you say things like that? Have you ever fallen in love?”

“Not yet. No, not romantically. But that doesn’t mean I will never be in the future. Sooner or later, who knows? I know that one day, someone will come, with whom I can share my love... a right love, that is. And when that happens, I’ll make sure that person is the only one in my heart. Only he can own it and no one else. Not even one can claim it aside from him, no one can snatch it away.” They continued to traverse several corridors as she babbled, “I know I don’t have any experience with love yet. But for me, that is the meaning of love, Grayson. To have it shared with someone you chose to spend your life with. This is the happiness you'll get from real love. It's when you faithfully yearn for the only person your feelings truly cry out for. If you’re happy and in love with that person, you wouldn’t look for a replacement.”

“Hailey...” was the only thing that escaped from Grayson’s lips. He couldn’t quite believe the words that came out of her. They seemed heartfelt, but were they real? Was that really what she believed love was? Or did she just want to squeeze an answer from him regarding the two women who currently owned his heart?

...

When their classes ended, Kendall packed her things back into her bag, preparing to go straight home. As they were navigating through the road, Grayson’s words caught her by surprise.

“We’re not going home yet,” he informed. “We’re meeting Abigail in a restaurant in New Rockmount. I want to have dinner with her.”

She looked at the man, still astonished. Why would he suddenly schedule a date with his girlfriend? It didn’t seem to coincide with his personality, as far as she knew him.

“Don’t give me that look. It’s not because of what you said earlier,” he said defensively. “I just miss her and I want to spend some time with her tonight, even just for a while.”

“Do you feel judged? I haven’t said anything yet,” she teased before turning her attention back to the road. Though he denied it, she was glad that her words seemed to have an impact on the man. Maybe it made him think that, somehow, Abigail deserved more of his time.

"By the way, how's your arm?" Grayson changed the subject.

"Pretty okay," she replied as she just stared down the road.

"Does it still hurt?"

"Not that much."

"Do you always take medicine?"

"Yep."

"Hailey..."

"Why?"

"About the things you said..."

"Which one?"

“About you falling in love. Has anyone flirted with you recently?”

She can’t help but laugh at his question. “Do you think someone will flirt with me if I'm with you most of the time?"

Feeling some of his blood rush to his cheeks, Grayson felt his tongue was tied. He turned to the window and pretended to stare at the billboards along the highway, keeping his smile away from her perspective. Why did those words feel like a compliment to him? Why did it sound like she would rather be with him than spend time with other men?

He cleared his throat before she could notice the redness of his face. Somehow, he was glad that the inside of the car was dimmed. “B-but were there people who flirted with you before?” He wanted the question to sound innocent and it came out well.

Opening her mouth to answer, Kendall retracted her supposed reply when she realized that he might laugh or mock her if he would know the truth.

“Of course!” she added some pride into her tone to make herself sound confident. “Do you think I’m ugly that nobody would chase after me?”

“No. When did I ever say you’re not beautiful?”

Taken aback, Kendall was lost for words. She was stunned by the man’s sudden answer. That was not what she was expecting. She felt like she was more prepared for a mockery from him. Losing her concentration along the way, she had to blink a few times to regain consciousness.

“Yes, I did say you’re not my type, but I never said you’re not pretty,” he added.

Choosing to avoid looking at the man next to him, Kendall wished he didn’t notice the gradual warming of her cheeks as she tried to focus on the traffic ahead to distract herself from his words.

"How about the man who was with you when you picked me up from the bar last time? Did he also flirt with you?"

“Who? Inspector... I mean, N-Noah? Well, he’s just a friend, but... Wait! I noticed you’re nitpicking me now. I thought we shouldn’t discuss personal things?” She tried to deviate from the awkward conversation.

“You started it. You began talking about yourself, love, and dating. That’s your fault for awakening my curiosity about your love life,” Grayson teased.

"I didn't say I was in love! I said when I fall in love!"

“I know, I know. You might not be in love today, but who knows? Tomorrow or the day after that, you might be. No one knows when that happens, but you should start preparing yourself for that.”

“I’m having goosebumps just thinking about it. Can we just change the topic now?”

“Why are you avoiding–”

“Shh!” she placed a palm on his lips, interrupting any more words from him. “Let’s get over the matter now, shall we?”

Grayson struggled to remove her hand, but the woman deliberately pressed it so that he could no longer speak.

“Fine, I’ll stop!” he said, gasping as she finally removed her hand. “Just concentrate on driving. We might end up crashing if you keep taking the subject seriously.”

Silence covered the rest of the drive to the restaurant. Before getting out of the car, Grayson, who still seemed interested and had the question pounding his mind, blurted out as he removed the seatbelt, “Hailey, have you kissed yet?”

“Of course!” there was no hesitancy as the maiden answered the question before she turned off the car engine.

Grayson's blood came to life again when he realized that his question was not a big deal to the woman beside him. Teasingly, he stared into the woman's eyes.

"Then, who is your first kiss?"

Kendall bravely returned Grayson's stares. But it was only a moment until she grasped the question, which left her stunned for a split second. She then pondered it.

Who was her first kiss? Wasn’t it…

"I... You," words voluntarily came out of her before realizing it.

Grayson couldn't move. Was he hearing things? Did he understand her words right? "W-what did you just say?"

Gradually, Kendall’s expression changed. The sudden outburst of her companion’s joke reminded her of something. Irritated by the memory, she threw punches at the man. “I said you, you! You!”

“Ouch! Stop hitting me! What have I done?”

“Have you forgotten what you did?! You see, you have ruined an important moment in someone’s life just because of your carelessness! I just wasted my first kiss because of your useless joke!”

Frowning at him, Kendall got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her. Grayson was left inside, gaping for a moment and suddenly feeling stunned. He still couldn’t believe what he heard.

Was he the first kiss of the elusive woman?!