Chapter 59: Chapter 59

CONNOR/ KADE HAWKINS

THE WINSTON BLUE DIAMOND ring THE SIZE OF MY HEAD stared back at me and I could only stare back at it nursing a whole lot of emotions that wracked and unnerved me.

I breathed but I wasn’t really breathing.

I tried to think but every ticking moment went to what happened yesterday.

Stupid. Fucking stupid.

Why hadn’t I realized, why hadn’t I—

Jr was alive! They all were and I hadn’t searched enough, hadn’t spent every last dime of daddy’s money to look for them.

I had been stunned the minute the forty something year old man stared at me like he knew me while ironically aiming a rifle in my damn face.

Then as if all the memories that had been caged in a tight little box had been unleashed, I remembered him.

Remembered him with my father.

Remembered him carrying me in his shoulders telling me…telling me to call him Uncle Jay.

And that’s what I remembered; he was Uncle Jay. The cool uncle. The one who pissed my fath—Callan most of the times.

And the man who peeked at me like an apparition was Jason Bates, Cassandra’s father. The man who saw right through me and called me by my name. a name I no longer wanted to have.

Uncle Jay was Jason Bates.

The hysterical woman aside, Lucia Amato’s bodyguard charged right at me and I would have fought back. I would have except everything clicked and the chaos that erupted through my ears was enough to deafen whales.

Lucia Amato. Shot. In a rough state. About to die.

Fucking Zetas. Attacking.

Blood, gore, hatred.

And despite the truth that seared my insides to a charring crisp, every nerve in me flayed raw at the memory of a green brown eyed lady shuddering at the goddamn filth I threw her way.

And she’d cried.

Fuck me, Cassandra Bates cried because of me and I couldn’t garner courage to wipe those tears away.

Not after yesterday.

Not after everything.

She was connected to my past, she was connected to my brother and when the Zetas shot at us, you know what I saw?

I saw my whole fucking world in one place about to be ambushed and it felt like déjà vu.

And in that moment, I took a hard look at Lucia Amato bleeding on that cold ground that didn’t deserve her warmth, took a look at the family behind me that were shaken and terrified to the bone, took a hard look at my brother’s face and I realized one thing.

I was the error in the equation.

I was the problem.

I was the catalyst to everything that happened.

They were happy before I showed up.

Cassandra Bates was happy before I kidnapped her, sunk into her cunt, seeped into her heart and destroyed her life.

My fist tightened around Red’s engagement ring, the metal digging into my skin and doing nothing to heal the heart that constricted I was surprised I hadn’t died of heart failure yet.

But I couldn’t die yet.

Dying was easy. Too easy for that fucking gang.

I was going to wipe the Zetas from the face of the earth and then and then only could I die knowing everyone was fucking safe.

The dingdong of my apartment buzzer bounced in the air and for a moment, my pulse might have quickened at the thought of it being Cassie instead of Ice.

But I knew better.

I hurt her. I took her goddamn heart and smashed IT into pieces with my foot and deep down I knew I had lost everything.

I had lost everything…again.

“Christ! Did burglars ransack this place? it’s a fucking mess in here and why the hell is it dark”

Ice’s litany of cusses resonated and every time he talked, the ring in my hand bit my soul…one chunk after another.

“Came as soon as you texted though I was a bit surprised. Weren’t you and Cassie meeting the in-laws”, Ice stood by the doorway of my study assessing, breathing in the situation, trying to find light in the darkness I had reveled in.

But even he, wouldn’t quite catch the irony of the situation no matter how he tried.

I placed Cassandra’s ring on the table, the metal making a clang sound with the table. I grabbed my glass guzzling down the shit alcohol that wasn’t numbing a thing.

“The Zetas attacked”, I SAID DRYLY.

Something twitched in Ice’s stance.

“Impossible, we got rid of the fuckers. All of them”

I had been confident like him a few hours ago.

Only, overconfidence had my ex-fiancé and my brother’s girlfriend fighting for her life somewhere in a hospital in Texas.

Overconfidence had me let down my guard and the Zetas followed us without my knowing.

Angry at no one, frustrated by myself and my situation, I took hold of my glass throwing it in his direction.

“They fucking followed us, Icarus. They shot at my goddamn family, they shot at my woman!” I heaved so hard, my molars threatening to turn to dust.

“What family? Where’s Cassie, Kade?”

Gone.

“Round the team up, every goddamn man we have available and every fucking ammo at our disposal. We are going hunting and this time; we are wiping all Zeta motherfuckers that exist. Retired, out of commission, I don’t give a fuck”

“You are not making a lot of sense Ka-“

The phone lodged in his left pocket lit up like a fucking Christmas tree spearing the darkness. He reached for it, I slumped back into my seat.

“We are not making any moves until you fucking explain what’s—what’s” the fucker paused staring at some shit on his phone.

I would have ignored it.

I would have ignored the next words that came out of his mouth because nothing mattered to me like sweet motherfucking revenge.

But…how could I have ignored him when he raised his face, looked like he was pained and uttered the only thing that could wreck me.

“Cassie-“, Ice breathed in duress, like he was trying to keep a lid on his surprise and anguish and absolutely failing.

I was up in my seat before he could say anything else, yanking his phone from his frozen hands.

The first thing I noticed…

Blood.

Her blood oozing from her lips.

HER MOUTH CLAMPED SHUT BY SOME GAG.

Her dress—that dress she’d worn the other day asking me if it was pretty, asking if I liked it and I was the greedy bastard thinking of tearing it off her- had been torn all the way down her cleavage savagely, I winced when her bra came to sight but what got me reeling was the chains around her hands, the fucking rusty seat they had her tied in and what halted the anger I felt…

Those eyes of hers peering into the camera, eyes the color of wildflower, eyes so glossy my Red looked like she’d break if I didn’t catch her in time.

And for once in my life, something mixed with blood.

Something foreign. Something I’d thought I would never get to feel.

FEAR.

A MESSAGE SHOT A FEW SECONDS LATER.

COME GET HER, BOY OR SHE DIES FOR YOUR MISTAKES.

A minute later, an address flogged the screen before Ice’s phone blacked out completely.

THEY HAD HER.

THEY HAD MY HEART.