Chapter 33: Chapter 33

NICOLE

FRIENDS.

The type of friends I had back then were the type to dunk a bottle of gin down your throat all in the spirit of Yolo. The type that encouraged you to strip naked at a music concert full of horny men that were definitely carrying chlamydia more than half of the people in the planet.

And the type that thought doing vandalizing public property in the spirit of having fun meant being cool, meant showing off to the world that you were rich enough to get away with some of the most illegal shit in Miami.

The type of friends gracing my ecru Millesimo seats however were so different. More like mother gathering at a boring book club and don’t get me wrong I enjoyed their company. Wine and dining? That I fucking loved. However, their questions…

“Or that special perfume I see on my Tv, do you use that? Though it might be debatable that men actually fall for that stuff but I’m ready to try anything at this point. So, Nicole what’s your secret?” curiosity etched in Joey’s eyes and I took a sip of my red wine ignoring their stares.

Abigail Arkinson, the fucking flirt sat across my coach drawled in a transparent crimson night gown, that evil brow plastered on her face, she threw me a glance too from the rim of her glass.

“Communication I guess”, I blatantly lied pouring myself another glass.

Communication was the last thing Callan and I were doing. I was mad, he was mad and well that was basically the whole history about this sham of a marriage.

“Come on, darlin’. There’s got to be more gossip than that”, Abigail drawled.

She would love to know about what turns Callan on, wouldn’t she?

“Okay fine communication, do you tell him what to do in the bedroom or—”

“Telling a man what to do while he’s fucking you, brings the wrong message. Ask me about it, Frank doesn’t like it when I tell him what to do. It sort of makes him insecure”, Tina interrupted Joey and I pitied the sorry woman.

It was Frank that, Frank this and I saw myself in her. The same way I let Lucas charge into my life.

Every woman liked to be a damsel, because being a damsel meant when you were in distress, a prince would come save you but that’s the thing.

In the real world not, all princes were good men, most princes were sadistic, manipulative, using your form of distress as a way of controlling you, abusing you.

Whilst I hadn’t located a bruise on her body since she changed into her night gown, I was still keeping an eye on her incase something was up or she needed someone to help her stand up to her husband.

“Frank never likes when you tell him anything Tina. He’s a bastard who likes exploiting you”

God as if the conversation wasn’t bad enough, Abigail retorted.

Tina’s demeanor changed as she placed her glass of wine on my coffee table standing up from beside me.

“Come on, Tina, she didn’t mean it like—”

“I’ll check up on the kids make sure they aren’t up to something”, Tina cut me off, I watched as she disappeared up the stairs and before I would throw Abigail a look of disapproval, Polly appeared from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorns.

“Sorry Leo called, what did I miss? Where’s Tina? Ooh you guys confronted her about Frank, didn’t you?”

In a matching pink crop top and pants, Polly looked chipper than a model on one of those Playboy magazines. She sunk next to me, where Tina had sat before.

“Tina and Frank aside, Leo called? “I asked.

They were definitely boning not that it was any of my concern really.

“I thought they didn’t have cell reception there”

“Oh they do”, she waved her hand in midair, “it’s not like Frank can confiscate their devices or something. The man might be crazy but he wouldn’t treat them like animals in the wild”

“Ooh”, I said.

“See now that’s what I want. You are disappointed Callan didn’t call you and I’m sure he’s out of his mind not being close to you. Billy and I barely talk that much, he rarely looks at me like he wants to devour me”

“Devour you? Joey you already have three kids, two of them toddlers. If both of you engage in any sort of devouring, you’ll have a litter of kids you didn’t want in the first place”

“I know, Abigail but some of us actually want our marriages to work”

That struck a nerve in Abigail since she tightened the strings holding her robe.

“Neil and I make it work. He has his fun in New York and I have fun here. At the end of the day, we make our marriage work for our kids”

“Have fun? Women like Polly can have fun with any man they want. She’s not married, doesn’t have a kid and you—”

“Too old to be screwing other guys?”

“Ok. Enough. That’s enough, this was supposed to be a fun night not about who has sex with who or about our men. They are not even here”. I sensitized grabbing the remote.

Polly’s phone rung again we all rolled our eyes.

“Lemme guess phone sex?” I said dryly.

“What? H-he’s our boss, we are just…it’ll only take a minute”, she made an attempt to stand up but Abigail stopped her with a blunt remark,

“Everyone knows you two are screwing Polly. You come off too aggressive anytime any woman so much as batters her lashes at our beloved mayor”

“I don’t…I don’t know—”

“Lie to us, we dare you. Why does he keep calling you?” I asked, she glanced between all of us nervously.

“Fine! Fine! I like him, we are not screwing and the reason he keeps calling is because…he—he’s cheating, okay?”

“Cheating in what?”

“They are hunting bears, deer…I don’t know. He instructed me to call Han and put in a delivery”

“Who’s Han?”

“Town butcher”, Joey answered casually, “the sort of guy that might have dead rabbits at his place for such emergencies”

First of all, gross. Second of all, they were hunting at night? Third of all Leo was ordering dead rabbits from a local butcher to win some sort of game? What the heck?

“That’s not fair. I mean my Billy is too scared of blood so there’s no chance of him winning the game but what about the rest of the men actually treading through the woods hoping to kill something?”

Like my husband? Scratch that, Callan? He deserved to win.

Polly’s phone rang again.

“Cancel the delivery or whatever Leo told you to do”

“I can’t do that. It’s a silly game anyway—”

Joey’s phone rang.

Polly’s stopped before Abigail’s phone rang.

Just what the hell was going on?

“Oh no”, her palm to her mouth, Joey gazed at me with intense pity.

“What? What’s wrong?”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“What sort of stupid man tells people to hunt at night!”

Frank backed away with Leo’s hands tugging at my shoulders.

“Hey it’s not his fault”, Leo turned me around so much that I was facing him.

He rubbed my shoulders and I didn’t have any strength in me to push him away.

“Then whose fault, is it?” my face was neutral, my voice laced with so much venom that if it had the power it could kill.

I was trying to be brave for the kids seating at the end of the couch in the waiting room wondering just why we were in the hospital at midnight and why everyone had that sad look on his or her face.

The pressure behind my eyes increased by the minute every time I spoke. Unshed tears clogged my throat to the brim, it hurt to breathe, it stung to speak.

No, this wasn’t happening. He couldn’t…

“I know this…all of this is too much to handle at the moment and you are looking for someone to blame and maybe it was all of our faults but you have to keep it together for them”

“It’s been hours. They are not telling us anything. I can’t…I can’t lose him…not like this…not when I have a lot to—we need him. They need him”

“I know”

Except he didn’t understand a fucking thing but I leant into his arms.

I hugged Leo like his words had somehow calmed me down. No one in this room understood that Callan was the one of the good things in my life I didn’t deserve and no one understood how it felt inside.

I told him to go camping, I pushed him away and he got shot!

The father of my kids got shot because I was a bitch.

If he died…God my traitorous tears found their way from my eyes and I grasped Leo’s shirt crying pathetically.

He held me but it was all interrupted when two people pulled the hem of my dress.

I pulled away from Leo, staring at my boys.

“Mommy? What’s wrong?” Jr asked.

Your father is fighting for your life in there because of me.

Because of me he might never hear you guys call him dad.

They said he lost a lot of blood, that he was struggling to stay awake while they drove him here to the hospital but he was in a rough state.

Callan, my Callan drenched in his own blood.

“Mommy?” Connor called and I was so afraid to speak.

Afraid that I would say the wrong thing, afraid that I would crumble and tell them just what was happening. That I would have to explain the blood on Leo’s shirt and the blood that colored Billy Duncan’s hands when we got here was Callan’s.

“I’ll grab a snack for them”, Tina appeared behind them pulling them from me.

“Mommy? No, we want to stay here with you”

“It’s okay”, I told Tina kneeling to be at a level with them, “mommy’s fine but I need you both to go with Aunt Tina, okay? She’ll get you candy and I’ll be here waiting for you. Can you do that for me?”

Without making a fuss, they nodded.

Minutes later I was seated on the grey couch my face buried in my hands when Leo tapped my thigh lightly. A doctor in sky blue surgery gown stood in the middle of the hall, two nurses in tow.

“I’m his wife!” I exclaimed,” Doc, how’s he doing? Was the surgery—”

“You must be Nicole. He made it through we almost lost him due to the internal bleeding luckily the bullet missed his heart. He mentioned you quite a lot before we put him under anesthesia, he’s already been transferred to his room if you want to see him”

“Thank you! Thank you, Doc. Thank you so much”, I cried fighting the urge to shake his hand as tears streaked down my cheeks.

Five minutes later my hand shook as I turned the knob to Callan’s room.

A hospital bed in the middle of the room, machines beeping in a rhythmic pattern, I held my fist to my mouth muffling the sobs.

It was hard seeing him like that. Seeing him confined to a bed, an IV stuck next to him, his chest moving against his hospital gown in a rugged manner.

“I’m sorry”, I muttered, brushing his hair with my fingers.

“I’m so sorry. For everything. I should have never pushed you away, I should have never dragged you into my mess. You are here because of me. Y—you almost died because of me and I don’t think I could take it. My heart wouldn’t take it if you disappeared from our lives Callan Asher”, I kissed his forehead my tears falling on his face.

He looked calm. He looked peaceful when he was asleep. But I wanted my Callan back, indestructible Callan who was always grumpy, who used crude words every time he hated something.

“Our boys need you. I need you. I love you”

And I always will.

The machine beeped louder, I panicked. Before I could turn around and call a nurse, I felt Callan’s hand on my wrist. Strong with a tight grip.

“Callan?”

He opened his eyes.

“N—Nic-“

“Don’t speak…don’t say anything. I’ll get the doctor”

“Leonard. Leo t—tried to kill me”