Chapter 66: Chapter 66

: Extreme high to low

*****

Chris

The bedside clock chimed 11:am when I woke up. Its been a long while since I slept so soundly, even the usual ache in my head was better. Even though the

I opened my eyes today to the body pressed over mine and a sense of belonging washed over me.

She looked peaceful.

Just this once in a long time there was no anger, regrets in her features. I breathed in the whiff of her and the familiar stillness that came with her presence settled at the pits of my stomach unwinding every knot previously there.

She right here in my arms took me back to a long time when it was just me and her even before the twins came into the picture. As the events of last night filtered back in, a little bit of anger and possessiveness accompanied it.

This damn stubborn woman!

I wanted to relish every single bit of this moment while her guard was down and she wasn't throwing hateful words but my bladder was full and the position we were in was doing crazy things to my libido.

2years of being celibate!

Sometimes I wondered why I never became intimate with another woman, but I knew it was probably because she ruined me for them all. No other emotion could compare, you see with the right one she elicited feelings from me without even trying or meaning to.

Full bladder could wait, I slipped back into blissful oblivion as the time and fall of her chest became lullaby to mine.

*******

When I woke up this time she was still sleeping and the bedside clock chimed 1pm. I guess jet lag and taking care of me through out the night weighed her down. The Church wedding was almost over now anyway but I really needed to Pee.

I made to arrange and push her off me and she finally woke up. It was amazing again to see the usual process. How her eyelids fluttered taking in her environment until they landed on me.

Then her eyes took up the shocked state when she noticed the proximity of the man she was on top of.

"Good morning" I said needing to Pee before I decide to do something else I really itched to do like kiss those round pesky lips staring up at me or all the pictures and ways my mind was conjuring to have sex right now.

The bliss was over soon enough as she jumped off me and my eyes followed her movement staying to follow the flimsy night gown she had on.

Ways to kill a man with blue balls.

"What?" She asked angrily. Then trailed her eyes to follow mine to where they were gazing on at her bosom.

"Pervert" She whispered covering her self with her hands.

Dejavu! I remembered the first time she spoke to me, my eyes were on her bosom for different reasons but she still called me a pervert. It all felt like a lifetime ago.

I smiled with the corner of my lips, angry Pamela I could deal with not withdrawn closed off Pamela.

She walked off to the bathroom and slammed the door loudly in her wake.

*******

Pamela

I banged the toilet door loudly and rested my back behind the cold mahogany door while trying to still my heart.

O boy!

For a little while there when I woke up I was tempted to raise my head to kiss him. Tempted to ignite something in his eyes beyond the cold look of appraisal he gave me. Then I knew always the game of desire is not one to be played with when it came to Chris for he was the master of it.

I stood there for a while tired and confused. For a long time he has been out of reach but now he no longer wasn't. The gap between us so wide that I did not even know how to bridge up our marriage or the cold tension that existed.

"I want to pee" he called out knocking on the door.

"Do it on your body" I replied rolling my eyes and moving deeper into the bathroom to take a shower. I merely pulled off my nightwear straps and steeped behind the shower curtain when I heard the door opened and he

entered.

I heard him do his business on the toilet seat but I did not dare peek my head out of the shower stall to look until I heard the shower curtains pulled back and for the second time in less than 24 hours I was standing naked before this man.

I was going to shout at him, I really was going to but I couldn't form the words at the moment something else was propelling me to look into the honey brown orbs have come to adore and so I stared into his eyes.

I could see, all the ranges of emotions running through them because sometimes I felt like we were not just lovers our souls were intimate with each other. Intimacy goes way beyond sex it was the vulnerability and compability two souls shared.

Anger, desire, lust and vulnerability swerved in those depths of his eyes. For a long while he just stared at me not making any move towards me just allowing his eyes roam my stark naked form.

I would have covered my body if I could but I knew he was daring me to, daring me to hide or to run again and so I did the opposite of what  he thought I would have done. Standing on my toes and wrapping my arms around his torso, I kissed him!

Kissed him like my life and sanity depended for in this moment all my layers were stripped off. It was undone in that intense gaze of his that always kept me in awe. He kissed me back with all he could just this once it wasn't dominance, revenge once again it was just two souls wanting to be lost in each other for only being one where they ever complete.

I don't know how long we stayed under that shower stall or how many times we went to that brink of desire over and over all I knew was; I wasn't over him not in my system or in my body. He was my sweet addiction.

****

His fingers stroked the skin on my bare upper back as I resigned to the fate that we will never make it to that wedding. I dozed off a little after our bout of love making session and even though I was awake I was scared to face the future scared to define what we had now. Time may have past but it didn't solve the trust issues we had, or that we couldn't go back to our marriage because we were definitely doing something wrong for us to be here in the first place.

"I know you're awake" he mumbled out.

Silence followed his statement for truly I did not want to be awake yet or back to this real world. Nina was still there her baby was still there, his mothers dislike for me was still there.

"I love you" he said this time so gently it almost made me weep.

"I love you too but"I whispered.

"No buts Temitope, 2 years is a long time enough" he said harshly sitting up to face me.

"We cant just go back to where we left off in our marriage for things are no longer the same" I tried to explain.

"Things like what, that lover of yours? Or your insane ego and pride or your refusal to just forgive because you already said you wont?" Which is it he said shouting harshly this time.

"Stop shouting at me" I whispered. Why cant he see that I am not fighting tonight I'm just vulnerable trying to tell him my fears. I cant go back to doing the same thing and expecting different results. If he'll still have her in his life and dote on her, soulmates or not we will still end up back here.

"Then say something" he shouted again.

I know going away for two years was long but right now he is being an ass.

"Just give me some time to articulate mg feelings" I replied

"What damn time? You had 2 years of my life already just on hold waiting for you, waiting for you to reach out but nothing. I cant take the wait anymore so its your turn to choose Temitope ; Us or nothing" he shouted.

I kept quiet because he looked so angry almost like a stranger I couldn't realize, he was ever rarely this mad at me except Whenever almost lost the twins, but this side of him was scary it wasn't even someone that I could come to with my fears he was pushing me further away.

So I just walked to the bathroom with thee big blanket wrapped around my body and locked the door shut. Faintly I heard him curse then gather his things and I heard the hotel door bang  shut and it was right there and then I truly cried.

*******

Chris

I drove into my fathers compound after driving around for a long while aimlessly.

God! She always had a way of messing  with his head how cam someone be so stubborn and adamant about her choices.

Did she care for the new man already enough to not want to try their marriage anymore?

As he pondered and thought the more angry and frustrated he became. Ruffling his children heads and kissing them from where they played with their grand father he walked upstairs to look for Nina to check on their daughter.

A strange fear grabbed his balls as he made his way up until he finally opened the door and saw her. Lines of cocaine on the short stool which sat beside her and her eyes red and blood shot.

"Christ Nina! I thought you were done with this" I shouted picking the wraps that lay beside her and the pills to flush them down the toilet.

"Give them back" she warned. Herr voice so eery today it did not sound like her.

"Never! How can you mother our child this way. What has gotten into you" I shouted.

"She is back isn't she?" Nina whispered.

"I thought just once over the years you will look at me and see me even a quarter of the way you see her, of the way you feel for her" Tears and snort streaming down her face and nose.

"What are you talking about" I asked.

"Don't play dumb with me. She is why you did not come home last night, even now I smell her on your skin, it doesn't matter what I do, or how far we've come before you met her it will always be her to you won't it" She asked screaming her eyes dilated from the effects of the drugs in her system.

"Nina calm down. Dad and mum are downstairs and our daughter in the next room" I said trying desperately not to hurt her anymore, telling her I just spent hours in the arms of the only woman I ever loved wasn't about to make this issue any better.

"Our daughter?" She asked rhetorically then laughed hysterically.

"You can't even see my desperation, my longing how can you see mg heart? I gave you my virginity, God I even killed my brother for you, but not even a baby can tie you to me right?" She said this time slowly.

"Killed your brother for me!" I echoed.

"I was the one that gave him that drink that night! Please Nina dont bear the burden that isn't yours" I said trying desperately to just get her to see reason.

She laughed this time "God Chris! Maybe if you are not so kind I won't be so in love with you. Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe I spiked that drink that day hoping you will be with me." She shouted.

Nina spiked the drink!

" Doesn't matter even if you did Nina, we have both paid enough for Davids death look how me and you turned out. We have paid enough its time to let go now" I whispered my eyes filling with tears, it hurt knowing that someone I trusted took advantage of me that way but it was something I could live with it.

"How can you forgive me! Your sister died because of the chains of events I created" she said self hatred burning in her eyes.

"I know Nee. I know" I shouted.

"I never knew you loved me that way, I am so sorry I led you on. Sorry for that day when I was at my lowest and I took advantage of you, you deserved to give your virginity to someone who would have cherished it" bowing my head in shame.

" Why won't you hate me still, how do you still have it in you to be kind? The world has been unfair to you? Hell I have been unfair to you. I know you will never have laid with me that night so I laced the drink making sure you did, knowing I was already pregnant " She said so solemnly.

I stared at her as my axis tilted, I wanted to shake her and shout Liar but the truth was burning in her drug filled gaze. A familiar shame was creeping in my gut twisting and churning.

Her on top of me.

Big mommy on top of me.

The images were filling my mind and everything good was becoming so twisted!

"How" I stammered out, and as I listened to her explain how she made me destroy my home and marriage I couldn't see the Nina I loved all I saw was big mommy.

The wife of my father taking advantage of his 6year old son to fulfil her sexual needs, the girl I trusted taking advantage of my open heart to wreck my home.

All my life I told my self I knew different kinds of pain. Loss, degradation, depths of depravity. Just this once all I could see was blur!

There had to be something about me that tainted everything black.

I did not know if I shouted or screamed or Nina did, all I know is my parents came in and took in the scene and I walked out.

If I could outrun this night maybe I'll survive. I whispered to my mind

So I gunned the Lamborghini and pushed down the streets, I kept going even when I couldn't see even when the tears filled my eyes. For all I lost because of women's obsession over me, for my marriage, for the daughter I have come to love that was never mine, for my sanity.

I cried until I started falling.

I didn't know when the car made the impact but as it did I welcomed the pain. It was far better than reality, as I lost my grip on consciousness.

I heard the sound of the ambulances rushing towards me but was I truly ready to live?

Moments ago I was extremely high in the arms of the woman I loved and in between her thigh but here I am now loosing my lifeline.

How much low can I get?

*****

Even me I can't type anything right now except okrrrrrhhhhhhh

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