Chapter 55: Chapter 55

: loosing her the second time

***

We sat in our parent home alongside Nina, and her parents.

The atmosphere was tense and Nina was heavy. She was due to deliver soon .

Lately I have been feeling so drained and tired I was eight weeks along also and the first trimester stress was taking its toll on my already emotionally tired body.

"Now that we are here, what do we do?" My father in law asked curtly without mincing words after the forced introductions.

Great it was decision time

"Christopher got my daughter pregnant out of wedlock, following your footsteps so you suggest" Nina's dad said angrily.

Big Daddy as Chris Dad was often called, looked at Nina's dad in anger and irritation.

"Okay. Your mother and I will take in Nina till she delivers the child and take care of them both under this roof if that is okay with you."

"No" Chris said.

What does he mean by No.

"I cant allow my child to be brought up by others not while I am alive. You made the same mistake with me and I am not making it" he replied gritting his teeth.

"Then what do you want to do, the child is after all yours."

"I want to raise the child, I agree that Nina should be with you till she delivers but I want my child to be raised with his siblings not like an outcast to be punished for his parents method of conception"

Wait what exactly are you saying?

"What exactly are you saying ogbeni(mister man)" I asked

"I want us to raise the child together" he said.

"You are joking abi?" I asked.

"What of me, I am not just going to give off my child to her without having a stake in her life" Nina  shouted.

"News flash! I don't want to raise your child too" Shouting equally.

"Can you guys stop shouting please!" Big daddy shouted above ours.

She kept mumbling Nonsense, making me even more angry as the intense need to scratch her eyes out settled on me.

Shameless woman

"It is not your fault na, shebi it is my husband that lied between your leg once that is why we are here"

She laughed with scorn "At least way before he met you he has lied in between those legs" she said.

It is like a big bowl of cold water was poured on me because it cant be possible.

I remember vividly asking Chris if anything ever happened between him and Nina when I first called off the engagement and he said nothing of any kind.

I remember because in recent times when I toyed with forgiving him, i told myself all they had was just like a one night stand. Something that happened once never to repeat itself.

"You Liar, well I'm not surprised all liars are cheats as well. Shameless woman, do you actually expect me to believe anything that comes out of your mouth?" I asked.

Nina laughed more and more each sounded tinged with mockery.

"Ask him now, Madam I trust my husband. He was mine before you met him and even after marriage he still wanted to be mine" She said.

"Nina!" Chris shouted in warning.

"That is enough" Nina's dad also said angrily.

Hot ice was filling my veins at the moment, a chord was slowly wrapping its way about my throat it can't all have been a lie na.

"No it isn't. What is she talking about Ayomide" I asked raising my voice above both of theirs. It came out in a loud shrill.

"Please Temitope." Chris begged

"Please what na? Before we got married I asked you specifically if anything ever happened between you and her and you said no, So what nonsense is she even talking about sef" I asked.

They better both be playing o.

"Yes I remember and I said no, that Nina and I have never been in a relationship of any sort except friends" looking guilty

"Then what is she saying now?"

"Can we not do this here"

"Then where?" I asked

"Why can't you look her in the eyes and say 'no you are a liar' " I asked bewildered

"Because I am not lying. Madam lie detector" Nina shouted.

"You still get mouth to run at me abi. I don't blame you it is because I haven't laid my hands on you now, home breaker"

"Let's go and talk outside" Chris pleaded.

"No. Reply her here where she can hear us." Raising my chin adamantly.

"We had sex a long time ago it was way before you and I even met. I told you the truth that day Nina and I were never In a relationship."

My hand flew on its own volition hitting his face in a loud thwack.

"Ehn! How dare you hit my son. Maybe it is this attitude of yours that drove him away from you" Chris mother fumed.

Maybe that was the last straw, I don't know or it was the glee in Nina's eyes making her feel like she have won but I suddenly knew I couldn't take it anymore.

"Mummy  please stay out of it," Chris begged.

"Let's give them a little space," Big daddy said.

As each of them cleared out, I could still see the taunt in Nina's eyes.

"Temi," Chris said, more like a plea reaching out his hand to me.

"What is even true?" I asked then.

"It was a long time ago Temi. It meant nothing, when you asked me that question that day I knew telling you meant loosing you. You had your mind set on it. So I omitted it" he ran his fingers through his face this time clearly frustrated.

I laughed. A laughter which lacked mirth for I was slowly going insane.

"God I am going insane." I shouted.

"Every time you told me she was just like a sister, every time I complained about your undue closeness hmmn it didnt occur to you to tell me she was your sister you once fucked abi" I shouted.

I saw him wince at my crude language , but it just made the entire situation more laughable.

"Tee please just calm down."

"What is true between us? Our marriage started with lies anyway hmmn?" Shrugging my shoulders in defeat.

"Please don't talk like that Temitope" her begged.

An awkward silence sat between us as my own thoughts mocked me.

"Choose!" I shouted.

"I don't understand"

"Throughout this marriage it has been on your terms. You want wife and sister with benefits abi. It is time to choose" I shouted more.

I couldn't recognize this woman which was me, so much bitterness and hatred was spreading through my insides clenching it in a tight grasp.

"Temi" he begged again.

"Don't patronise me" I shouted throwing the vase that sat on a small stool beside me to the wall

"She is pregnant and so am I. I have two kids for you so choose between my kids and hers because you can't eat your cake and have it, and I refuse to raise her child or live with her. I refuse to have you degrade me so." I said suddenly calm.

Deep down I knew a resolution was growing within me.

"Temitope, this is not a choice. I can't choose between my kids which I should keep and which I shouldn't please just understand me" he begged even more

"Understand you? How about me hmmn? Every time I complained, every time I heard she was just a sister, just a friend, nothing of such is going on between us both" I asked.

"I am sorry. I truly am, but you know how I was brought up, away from my mum and kept with my dad. You know how that woman abused me Temitope, I can't keep my child in a place where I can't take care of my child, away from his parent. I can't make him grow up to curse me for it wasn't his fault I couldn't zip up in the first place" he said trying to reason with me.

"So it is my fault abi? Or it is truly my character that drove you to her arms?" I asked.

"No. No it wasn't. I love you Pamela Temitope" he shouted shaking me this time as if that will make me understand or agree with him.

"But love on its own isn't enough is it? It wasn't enough for me and you. Because just like every time all I can see right now is you choosing her, just like you always did. Every time it was Nina this and Nina that. She needs me, I have to look out for her, just like then it is now Nina's child not mine" I said solemnly.

"Please my love, this is being unfair to that child. Please I know you are hurt and angry but please my love just listen and try to reason with me" he begged even more.

4 years or marriage and only Nina can make him look as desperate as he does right now.

Jesus I was so tired.

When does it all end!

"Well I can't raise that child, or love one who is anywhere close to that woman. Most importantly I am tired.   Tired of feeling this way, tired of being constantly angry, sad, hurting. Look at me Ayomide because your love is tearing me apart from insides. Daily I am becoming the unhappier version of my self, is this supposed to be my life at 28 hmmn? If you really love me why does your love hurt so? I asked.

I was exhausted; I just wanted it all to stop.

"Baby please! I know it doesn't look like it right now, but I want to make what we have work" he begged holding me by my shoulders.

The tears were flowing freely right now, I was tired of being strong for the kids, tired of trying to stay for my kids. In the end all they will get is a bitter woman.

"Please don't cry my love. Please" he begged. His own eyes getting wet with tears.

But he made his decision and I respected it, so it was time to make mine.

More tears flowed as I pulled off the band that sat on my ring finger. The symbol of our forever promise to each other.

Who were we kidding that we could fight fate and choose forever?

We can't even survive four years, forever is a long way off.

The betrayal! The pain, his mothers dislike for me, his baby mama.

I placed the ring in his hands.

"No Temitope No" he said angrily.

"You have made your choice Christopher, this is mine" I said trying to wipe my eyes with my hands that now looked bare without it.

"Dammit Pamela! You can't just throw us away, You cant just give up on me. You promised not to leave"  his hands held me like a band now.

"You broke your promise to me first, This way you can raise your child the way you want to. " Trying to break free from his hold.

He picked my hands and tried to push down the ring on it but I wasn't having it.

"Do you want me to go on my knees and beg because I'll do that for you baby. Anything not this, I'll give you space to think us through,  I won't pressure you. Just let me do something" he  pleaded. With every plea his British accent which he tried hard to bury became more visible, making his tone huskier.

"Let me go" I said with finality in my voice.

He looked up at me this time with red eyes and pain in his eyes.

Why was he looking at me like I was the one breaking him.

Just why?

I walked to the door and he stood where I left him staring at me.

I went upstairs to get the twins where they were playing.

They couldn't understand the hurry with which we had to leave.

When we all got down Chris was still standing there.

"Go and kiss your father goodbye" I said to the duo.

They looked almost reluctant to do so but went ahead.

Chris hugged them tight, both at once then he took a long time kissing their foreheads.

'Mummy I don't want to go" Ella said.

"Why is daddy not coming with us" Daniel asked.

He kept holding them as he tried hard, to keep his emotions in check.

"Come on, let's go" I urged.

The twins came to me grudging and we made our way to my car which luckily I drove here.

I loaded them both into the car, and made my way back to the drivers door when I felt it.

His hands and body hugging me from behind. His face buried in my back and hands firmly across my breast and waist.

"Please Stay Temi" he begged.

"I  am sorry" I replied.

*******

Chris

I stared at the retreating car, my eyes blurred with tears. Somehow I make them all leave me!

David

Christiana

Pamela.

Somehow I destroy every good thing J have.

She left me too!

But where do I start from, True I haven't been the best husband but she was the one I love.

I lost her!

****

Super sleepy just comment will probably amend this