Chapter 50: Chapter 50

its not yet 12am.

******

Pamela

Pain!

You see over time its definition has evolved, you could feel pain without knowing what is causing you pain. All organs and parts in your body can cause you pain and we still term it as physical pain.

Emotional pain on the other hand is described in terms of damage, an unpleasant sensation this one has the ability to delude your mind.

Overtime this evening, I will be able to quantify mine!

"I thought Chris will be home by now since he isn't at work that's why we came" she said.

Nina had this smile to her face as she spoke, like she knew something I didn't or she just won the lottery.

"Good evening ma" I curtsied to her mom.

"So how may I help you?" Staring at her pregnant belly.

Nina was pregnant undoubtedly, the glow she had was beautiful and the bulge visible.

"Chris has been avoiding me, I really didn't want to show up like this but he left me no choice. I need support from him as he is the father of my baby"

I laughed quite loudly in fact.

Denial they say is the first stage of grief.

"Excuse me?" When my bouts of laughter succeeded.

Her mothers eyes shot daggers at me, it was no wonder why Nina was so bitter the apple didn't fall far from the family tree.

"Its true." Bringing out a medical report to confirm it and one to confirm the child's paternity.

Slowly I read those reports over and over then the chill was spreading. At first all i felt is Numb shock.

She is joking with you

Walking to the kitchen where I last dumped my phone, I dialed his number. My hands shook as I held the phone.

"Hello"

"Hello!" His voice rang out the second time.

"Come home" I replied. It was the only words I could form presently.

Daniel walked in, a giant toy plane in his hands and asked "Mummy food"

With strength I did not know I had made him warm milk and gave him some cookies.

The smile on his face was the only thing that touched my heart, a smile so beautiful so like his dad.

His dad!

My breath caught in my throat as bile rose within, I need to throw up or breathe.

I stood outside Our home for a  while I waited, then later went to check on the twins. It was like I was disconnected out of my body.

Then I saw him, he looked every bit my knight in shinning armor rushing down to my rescue in response to the  in my tone.

"Mine mine mine"He shouted rushing in.

"In here" I replied

"Whats going on baby"

He had the audacity to look shocked! Whether it was at the fact that they were here or at seeing Nina's baby bump I couldn't tell.

Then he had this look in his eyes, it was uncertainty.

How can he be uncertain? Its pregnancy for Gods sake!

Our eyes and body language reverse more than we give them credit for, and so I watched him carefully while he prolonged the silence.

I saw the doubt in his eyes, the realization, the fear, the pain most of all I saw his apology.

Apology for what now!

Somehow today, ill be needing words to confirm "Answer me Ayomide, I'm going insane over here." She asked.

"I don't know" he replied.

What do you mean by you don't know? am going insane Ayo, please don't toy with me" At this point my voice was shaking, imaginary walls were closing in on me.

Take it easy he hasn't confirmed it yet plus your question is confusing.

"OK lemme rephrase. did you touch her" ? Trying to calm down.

"I mean she can only claim to be pregnant for you if you had sex or maybe IVF hmm?" I asked again

"Yes" he replied looking down.

At this point the pain was a 9 out of 10, severe or excruciating pain.

It squeezed my insides slowly and for a little while there I felt like my feet will fail me.

I have been living a lie.

I bent down to reduce the weight of my body on my legs, and then I stared into space.

I stared seeing nothing my blood was pounding higher and higher in my ears, I needed to get away from here anywhere but here.

I tried to get up and I almost fell down, I saw him stretch out his hands to touch me, but I couldn't bare the thought of having them touch me.

Those hands which had explored my body and known me as a lover has caged another woman.

With strength, I never knew I had, picked up my car key and walked out.

"Mummy mummy"Ella called just waking up from sleep.

I couldn't bare to have her see me in this state so I ran out and drove off amidst her cries and my husbands call.

*****

Driving!

A part of me didn't know how far I've gone, I just wanted to keep going. Maybe I could outrun it all, the truth, the lies, the deceit.

Just maybe!

It didn't matter though cause the journey couldn't replace his eyes in that moment it was seared to my memories for life.

A little while later as I turned into an empty road. The tears came it clouded my vision and I couldn't see, parking the Bentley on the side of the road. I cried!

I cried till my heart broke and my voice was hoarse everything the question came;

Was I not good enough?

Didn't he love me enough?

Was what we share so easy to trivialise?

Will this pain and betrayal ever stop?

Did she know him like I did? The curve in his back the tattoo he never got removed on his left arm?

Did she know every landmark of his body too.

There is something cheating does to the woman, it leaves you with too many questions. Most especially it leaves you feeling worthless.

Like you are not worthy of complete fidelity!

God! Our African society has taught it so hard to our men.

"A man will always be a man"

"Men are babies always wanting more they just needed to be guided"

"He is a man you need to understand"

Sitting in my lonely expensive car 4 hours after leaving my husband and children, Replaying endless stories, movies and scenes I've heard about the cheating mentality.

The pain was gradually spreading now farther beyond my chest region, it was going down numbing my feet and my arms enveloping me in a coccoon of want.

I wrapped my hands around my self and sat in my car as various cars passed for about and hour then moved on to find a motel, anywhere to lay my head.

The room was small it had white ceilings and sky blue curtains, it had 28 ceiling tiles above my head. The fan blade was a bit rusty and the wall paint was chipped and old.

I knew because I stayed awake for a long time trying to forget or concentrate on something. Numb in my skin yet feeling every pain that sent shards through my heart.

Overtime tonight I can say the pain is a 10 out 10; Extremely severe emotion pain.

******

QUESTION_ WHAT WILL BE YOUR REACTION IF YOU FIND OUT THAT YOUR HUSBAND OF THREE YEARS IMPREGNATED THE VERY SAME WOMAN YOU WARNED HIM ABOUT AND HE CLAIMED NOTHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AFTER THREE YEARS OF MARRIAGE??????

Oya leave your answers in the comment

Its a bit short jaws manage it.

Thank you so much for coming on TBO.

Love,

Orex.