Chapter 21: Chapter 21

: MY FAILURE

Chris

November, 2018.

What the hell! I deliberately refrained from using the "f" word right now. The first thing that hit me was lust, sheer pure lust. It was like all the blood in my upper region flowed downwards and my body reeled from the change. Then anger, followed by jealousy. She was mine her mind, her body, her soul was mine only to love.

Alighting from the car I made my way to the car, her back profile was to me as she made her way to the club in that contraption she called a dress. She had on a white lacy skimpy dress that reached her thigh halfway and hugged every curve and turn of her body.

The top part was covered but the back was dipped so low almost to the waist, am sure she had no bra underneath.

My wife, the mother of my kids, my shy woman always in baggy was here looking like.....

I refused to complete that statement, I don't want to know what she means by coming here dressed this way. The bouncer was about to let her in as I made my way forward all reasoning was out of the window.

"Pamela get in the car let's go home" I said and dragged her hand from entering the club. A guy was making his way in to the club and whistled. The way he did that openly admiring what is mine made my blood boil.

"No. What are you doing here in the first place."She turned to face Liz, who I had flown down here two days ago to keep her company not to take my wife dressed like a hooker to a club.

I pulled off my jacket and drooped it over her shoulder and she removed it and threw it back.  "Am not going anywhere, I came here to let my hair down and have some fun" flipping her straightened hair backward.

"Just get in the damn car Pamela or you won't like what I'll do." Liz who was the one that actually texted me was torn not knowing which side to take.

"You told him right?" Turning her fury to the poor woman.

"Yes." She answered shyly.

"Great, thank you for your awesome friendship and support." Sarcasm lacing through every word. As she turned her back to enter the club, I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder carrying her to where I parked my car.

"Let me down!" She shouted. "Christopher! Are you mad?" she added. I opened the door and dumped her on the passenger seat.

Starting the engine, I wished I drove the Ferrari right now I would have gunned the engine to let out my frustration. She refused to say a word to me as she sat sulking.

"For God’s sake how can you go out wearing that you are a mother and wife." I couldn't calm myself down not even by driving.

"Really? You're going to remind me of what I am like I don't know."

"Is this your way of getting back at me, by being with someone else?" Pinching the bridge of my nose. I met my wife a virgin and I can’t bear to share her.

"Don't tar me with the same brush as yourself, just because you are a liar and a cheat doesn't mean I am" angrily.

I parked in the compound grateful that the kids were with my parents. She opened the door and made her way in.

hmmn?

Do I tell her that apart from the initial kiss and caress, I couldn't remember the details of the sex?

"You disgust me you know? You chose this willingly you broke me willingly" she added tears flowing now.

I was breaking too, over time we were no longer two separate pieces we have become one. Breaking off a part from something that was whole left the other part incomplete. I dug my nails into my Palms drawing blood, to avoid the insane need to go and comfort her, to hold her close and promise to protect her. It was another vow I broke, I couldn't protect her from hurting.

I couldn't hold it anymore so I went to her, pulling her into my embrace against all resistance, I just hugged her.

I placed my face on hers our foreheads joined together and I kissed this tears away. I wanted to say "I'll never make you cry again" but I knew it was a lie.

The kisses on her face quickly lead to something more, taking into account the early arousal. I felt her need to desperately push me away and the need to feel loved so I capitalised on the latter, using skills harnessed from time of being lovers. We got into bed and hot passion flowed, a part of my mind told me to stop that I was taking advantage of her vulnerability, but how could I? We were close in such a way after so long. As we rode on in each others arms to the place where the highs are situated, I happily did. Coming down from where in my passion hazed mind I thought we climbed together but only I did, I froze. The meaning was clear; we always sparked fire together but today I couldn't satisfy my wife.

She didn't orgasm.

The thought wiped away all pleasure, I've failed as a husband, lover and friend. In my refusal to listen to her I've lost her blind faith in me to love her fully.

"Get off me" she said coldly.

"Pamela!" Pain spreading through my insides. I wanted to tell her I was sorry but she got up ran towards the bathroom. Holding the door open, She turned and said: "just go away, go to her as you always do." And locked the door shut.