Chapter 36: Chapter 36

"Sophie, listen.," I called her. She was awestruck but hummed in response,

"You.. are sold to me… " I said as her eyes widened when she looked at me in disbelief. She looked at me as if she didn't comprehend what I have said,

"But.. the reason for me marrying you is..." I took a deep breath as she was lost in obscurity. "My mother... loved you a lot... She always wanted me to marry you. It was her dying wish that I marry you..."

"That's all I can tell you... for now.." I said looking away. My words hit her like a truck as if she was being crushed by the weight of my words.

"No... Christian.. Tell me everything. After telling me this. Don't leave me in that dark anymore." She said in a low voice as she held my shirt and I kept looking away, "I don't have enough courage.." I whisper. Her trembling form produces a vague sound.

"Please.." She pleads as I didn't meet her gaze.

"Did he sell me?" She asked with hate as I gave her a nod. I heard her mumbling 'bastard' but she then let go of my shirt as she said, "Who is your mother?" I remained silent again because if I told her name to her she'll be devastated.

"Please can you wait? I just need to muster some courage to tell you everything." I asked. She bit her lips and closed her eyes. "Okay.." She breathed. She slowly looked at me and asked, "The reason for our marriage was that promise, you never had any interest in satisfaction, don't you?" I nodded. "Then why did you use me like this?" She asked as a tear released from her eye.

"If I suddenly come to your home saying I want to fulfil the promise of marrying you. Will you accept?"I asked. She bit her lips and stopped her tears as I felt disheartened.

"Even mother knows all this. Your marriage is worth more than you think. I think I understand what you meant mother." She whispered to herself. I know this is too much for her to bear that's why I can't tell her everything. She looked at me as tears glimmer her cheeks,

"What am I Christian? A thing sold to you? An object used to fulfill promises? A toy to satisfy your lust? Tell me, what am I?!" She cried as she burst into tears. I have seen her tears but I don't know why. This time, I felt like she needs a shoulder to cry on as I moved close to her wrapped my arms around her pulling her into a hug as she held my shirt and began to cry out loud,

"What the hell am I?!" She cried as her tears soaked my shirt but I don't mind. I rubbed her back as she continued to sob. I pity her, she is so fragile.

"Do I have a life on my own!?" She cried again. I felt bad for her. The sound of her sobs made me feel like I am burning on a raging fire. If she comes to know who suggested to me to marry her like this, she'll be in despair forever. I can never tell her that her own mother told me to marry her like this. She can't bear it.

I continued to soothe her. The sound of her cries filled my heart with grief. I shifted a little and pulled her close. I wiped her tears as her sobs caused chaos in my mind. We slowly pulled away as I felt heartbroken looking at her like this. I wiped her tears with my thumb as my other hand went from her back to her hair.

I don't know what took over me as my heart began to race as I lost myself in mesmerizing her features and pulled her into a kiss. She was shocked as she didn't move a bit. A spark, for the first time, traveled through me when my lips made contact with her delicate ones. I felt like my lips were attached to hers as if they were made for them. A sudden feeling of adoring emerged from me but before it could take over me, I gained control over myself.

She remained motionless as I slowly pulled away, "Please don't cry. Your cries hurt me. It's unbearable.." I said panting, hiding the urge to pull her into a kiss again. My face was so close to hers as she looked at me with her teary gaze. Her lips were trembling as she looked down, "I am not a thing.." She said and I realized what I have done as my throat dried.

"Kiss me whenever you want, reject me whenever you want." She whispered as she pushed me away. I felt so embarrassed.

"Stop toying with my feelings Christian!" She shouted as she began to wipe her tears that kept rolling down her cheeks.

"I-I am s-sorry Sophie, I didn't want to... I.. d-don't know w-what took over me. P-Please f-forgive me.." I stuttered as I looked away awkwardly. Her words hit me like an arrow. Reject me whenever you want.

I clench my hand in a tight grip as I didn't meet her gaze, feeling ashamed.

"Please... stop it.." She cried. Mustering some courage I looked at her said,

"I swear I am not playing with your feelings. I have given you nothing but tears. I just want to put a halt to those tears, they are taking my life out of me. It hurts me whenever I see you like this. Please forgive me, Sophie. I don't want you to cry anymore" I said earnestly. She sniffed as she wiped her tears and looked at me. She dug her fingers in her palm, seems like she is calming herself down or probably she was refraining herself from something.

A silence fell upon us. I kept looking at her with the corner of my eye. She took a deep breath and said, "I am going to the grocery shop. Have you eaten?" She asked looking away.

"I have," I said, turning my head away from her. She picked the tray, "I'll be back." She said as she left. Leaving me alone...

I looked at my bandaged foot. When her eyes become that attractive? When that sympathy of mine turned into that in-depth emotion I deny from the bottom of my heart?

Before these feelings grew stronger, I had to eradicate them, but this time not by shattering her but rather avoiding her. It will be best for both of us. Your heart held nothing but loathing for me and it will be better if nothing but hate resides in your eyes.

Even if I get support by having you in my life. Even if I was saved from solitude but I.. am sorry. I can't. I can't. I don't want you to leave me. If I love you, you'll hate me even more and eventually leave me. You have only talked about leaving me, I am sure one day, you will leave me without leaving a trace as I'll be thrown deeper in the darkness that's why. I'll let that toxic feeling kill me slowly rather than dying by your love…