Chapter 13: Chapter 13

My eyes flutter open along with an aching pain in my body. I tried to shift but I felt a hand restricting my movements. I bit my lips to bear this repugnant and seething feeling.

What do you truly want?

I turned and saw Christian face so close to mine. My heart skipped a beat as I shifted myself away from him as far as I could but his grip didn't let me go very far.

Feeling disgusted, I looked at him with loathe. But his eyes were closed as he was sleeping peacefully.

By destroying my sleep you are enjoying a lull?

I noticed his flawless features that are so appealing that one can bend itself before it. The looks, mastered in capturing anyone just by looking at them beguilingly. As if he was made absolute.

‘But no matter how exquisite he is, If he omits feelings, he is nothing but a puppet.’

I grit my teeth as I found myself admiring his prepossessing distinctive attribute. I put his hand away and turned my face away from him and sat up.

I turned my head away and saw a pill of painkiller again on the nightstand.

I mentally shouted because I know he deliberately made my body ache from last night's events just so I can accept his pity.

Asshole.

He is an insensible guy who does things which amuse him and now he is playing with me just for his own entertainment.

“Heartless.” I was wrong to think that he was showing compassion. He is just indulging himself in my misery. He is just taking his fun out of it because that's how cold this guy is.

My thoughts, filled with resentment for him were interrupted when I heard his voice,

"Still don't want it?" He said in that voice which always dismayed me.

I know if I don't take it he'll make me. Not wanting to feel pain more intense than the previous one, I didn't reply to him and picked the pill.

I looked at him and narrowed my eyes at him,

"I don't want it. I am fine." I said coldly and turned away and looked at the pill.

Even if I wanted to take it, my ego came in and didn't let me do what he wanted and I know, In the end, I will do what he wants.

"Don't lie, I know you are in pain." He said as I turned again and looked at him and replied, "Because of you."

"That's what you signed for." He yawned and put his hand under his head and looked at me with a smirk. The obscenity in his voice made me revolt as I became stubborn and didn't take the pill.

'I won't do whatever you want unless it involves intercourse beside this, don't expect subjugation from me.'

That's what I thought but I know it. A single dire look of his is enough for my soul to give up on my body and I was left with no choice but to obey.

We remained like this, He, observing me and I, looking at the pill thinking whether I should take it or not.

Accepting my defeat because the sensation of pain is too much, I took the pill and laid back and faced the wall and covered myself with the duvets and before I knew it, I fell asleep.

***

It's been a week since our marriage and my resentment and disgust for him never ceases. The feeling of being able to bear that agony, I can't feel it. This anguish burned my body to ashes.

The utter ending of my dream of having a love life, The halt of my smiles, the shattering of my hope. Feeling like a lifeless doll, that is used for fulfilling desires, I sat in the garden staring at the vibrant coloured flowers with a void look.

Losing myself in the consternation, I put my chin on my knees and remained like that.

No matter how many times I told myself that I have done this all for us For Eugene's sake; but I can't shake off this feeling of distress. I gave what I always wanted to my mother, a house.

But I can't be at ease. We may have escaped from our ordeals but I am still in despair. I know that I am stuck right now, but if Eugene recovers, I'll run away.

I can't stay here. I am doing this for him and if he recovers, there's no reason for me to be here and I'll run away.

"Sophie, Please sit on the chair instead of the ground." Gwen said, dragging me out from my thoughts. After struggling for a while, I finally made her call me by my name.

My hazel eyes that were filled with dreams and hope are now replaced by an only emotion- Emptiness.

I am lost in the bottomless pit of uncertainties of whether my choice to marry him was right or wrong. Well, Even if it was wrong, I am stuck and can't do anything about it. I am strayed just like a fallen star. It seems like all the pain and tears are in my fate.

I closed my eyes and let the cold breeze brush against my skin and let myself flee in this brief moment of heavenly solace.

This is the only place that can make me feel like I am not chained. Because inside that mansion I am suffocated, These terrorizing apparitions obstruct my mind.

I want to go and meet mother and Eugene too...

"Ma'am." My sweet moment was ruined when I heard Samuel's voice.

I frowned and looked at him, "Sir is calling for you in his studies." My throat dried as my body tensed upon hearing that.

Swallowing hard, I stood up and went to his studies with my shaky legs and knocked,

"Come in," His commanding voice came.

I pushed the door open and closed it behind me.

He stopped his work and looked at me for a second and said, "Come here." I walked closer and stood in front of him and looked down. His dark eyes scanned me as I convulsed under his sinister gaze.

He leaned back and motioned me to sit on his lap. "Sit." He ordered. I kept looking down and bit my lips not wanting to do it.

Being irked by my lack of response, He pulled me into his laps as I gasped and tried to get away. He held me close and looked at me with extensive fury as my heart skipped a beat and I stilled.

He clenched my jaws and pulled me close as his infuriated eyes bore into mine petrified one.

"Don't you dare to resist me ever again." He hissed as my petite form which was consumed by dread gave him a tentative nod.

He let go of my jaws as I let out rapid breaths and continued to shudder. He turned his attention to his work as I sat there embarrassed.

"You have done things more undignified than this. This should be considered as nothing." He ridiculed me as tears threatened to fall but I didn't let them and let myself be humiliated by the weight of his bitter words of actuality.

His gaze was fixed upon the screen of his laptop. He was working with his one hand as his other hand moved from my shoulder to my hand.

A shiver went down my spine when I felt his cold hands upon me. His hands roamed me freely where he wanted as I felt ashamed because I can’t resist him, I have to swallow this inside me.

“I have seen every inch of this body. Why are you shivering?” The strong feeling of aversion that always filled me whenever he touched me took over me as I wanted to get away from him.

“Why do you resist when you agree with yourself? Am I too rough, hmm?” He asked temptingly, observing my form. But, I bear that feeling of repulsion and remain motionless.

His hand moved to my thigh as I let out a low-pitched voice of astonishment and he was so pleased at my reaction. His hand stroked my thigh and my heart began to pound.

“Did that hurt?” He asked. Even though I was wearing jeans, I can still feel the sensation of his touch. His fingers slowly ascended and caused me to shiver.

“Why is it new when we have done it, anyways?” He asked, intrigued, rubbing his thumb where he pinched to ease the sting.

My breath hitched as I arced my back when his fingers rubbed my skin, giving it a strange gentle feeling. He stopped his work and looked at me with a smirk,

"You like it?" He teased rubbing the spot as I bit my cheeks and a tear pricked in the corner of my eye.

My convulsed form shook her head 'no' and his obnoxious smirk grew wider as he looked at me with those intense emotions that evoke ultimate terror in me.

"Your reaction does the opposite." He snickered. I curled my toes and looked away holding the feel of shame in me. He rubbed the spot in a sensual way, I convulsed and tried my best to suppress a moan.

“Shall I call this force? Because you certainly do call it that, even though you are loving it.” He mocked.

I involuntarily held his shoulders and lowered my head, protesting the wave of pleasure rushing in me. He let out a quiet laugh upon seeing me this desperate. He finally stopped and leaned back again.

He removed his hand from me and smiled wickedly,

"You are free to go." I quickly got up and ran to our room and went to the bathroom.

I locked the door as I put my hand over my mouth and let out my cries of misery. I muffled my sobs as I felt like my skin had been ripped off of me. I continued to cry at the fact;

I felt good when he touched me.