Chapter 21: Chapter 21

I adjusted my position on the bed, my eyes squinting. It should probably be mid day, but I had no motivation to even wake up. It was annoying how in the end, to my father, I was only an alimony. Or the price for it.

I turned to my back and sighed.

It was eerily quiet. This is one of those days that I would have run to Bernice...but right now...right now I wasn't exactly her favorite person.

I felt around for my phone, and grabbed it once I felt the cold steel against my palm. I turned it on, and there was a notification for a message.

"Hey. This is Luke. So sorry if I am being fussy and irritating, but, I hope you are okay. I left a little package for you."

I sighed. It was starting to feel like I was ruining this second chance too.

He had sent it over three hours ago, and I dragged myself off the bed. I walked slowly to the front door, and opened it.

There was no one around, so I stepped out to get the medium sized pink box. I had just picked it and was about to go back when I felt something hold me back.

"What...?" I didn't quite finish it before I was pulled into an extremely warm hug.

"Hey."

I want tense, my body stiff and he pulled me closer, his hand on the back of my head, guiding me to rest on his shoulder. I felt all the emptiness I had felt all day starting to become liquid. Liquid that started to fill up my eyes.

"I thought I would give you a free hug too." Luke said.

I chuckled a little at his joke, and adjusted my head on his shoulder so I could safely, without quite being seen by him, let my tears out.

He said nothing as I cried into his shoulder, his hands only moving gently as he played my hair. I wasn't sure how long I stayed there, but by the time I was done, I felt embarrassed.

"Don't you think I have cried too many times in front of you?"

He shrugged. "I am not sure about that. I am just sure you need an ice pack for your eyes."

I examined him for a minute. "Did you say you don't have friends?"

He nodded.

"The world must have gone blind."

He started to laugh, then sniffed and shook his head. "Can I trust you to be okay?"

"Are you going somewhere?"

"We are starting to prepare for a wake and burial." His voice trailed off as if he needed to muster courage to say the rest. "For my father."

I looked down at my feet. "And here I am bothering you with my problems."

"We have to take care of the living." He said, and I caught glimpse of the young boy who never really felt he had done enough for his father. I guess a beautiful face is enough to hide every scar in the world.

I smiled at him. "Do you want me there?"

"I can handle this one. Maybe just the wake...burial...you know." He swallowed and rapidly blinked. A thing I always did when I was trying not to cry.

"I will be there wherever you need me."

He smiled and nodded. "Take care of yourself. I will...call you after the whole thing is done."

I nodded and stayed on the front porch as he slowly backed away, then entered his car. He got in, then made a gesture for me to go in.

I nodded and opened the door, and watched as he drove away.

I walked back in, feeling better than I did, but still a little somber. This time a lot less for myself and a lot more for Luke. I wondered if Mr. McGregor in the future would be able to ever meet his son...or if he was somewhere watching this play out.

Time passed by really quickly, with me waiting for Bernice to call or text me. I thought she would, but even as the clock turned to six, she didn't. Maybe I needed to swallow my pride and do it first, but I wasn't quite ready.

I went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, and just as I started to brew, I heard my phone start to ring.

I ran back to it, but it wasn't Bernice. It was a number I hadn't saved yet.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

Luke's voice was unmistakeable. "How are you doing?"

"Much better. Was just making coffee."

"Great." He said, and silence fell between us. I couldn't pinpoint why it was so awkward. Maybe because it was our first phone call...I wasn't quite sure.

"Uhmm..." I said.

"Did you like everything?"

"Everything?"

"Yeah. The package."

I shook my head. "I am sure I will. Thank you."

"Why? You haven't opened it yet?" He asked. I heard the shuffling of something, as if he had just gotten out of bed.

"Not quite. I wanted to save it till later."

I heard a small chuckle. "You are not...by any chance standing by the window, are you?"

"Why?"

"I just think the sunset looks really pretty right now. It would be very comforting to know that you are watching it too."

I walked to the largest window in the house, and out the blinds aside. "Good enough?"

"Yeah."

His voice cracked, and I stopped.

"Why do you need comforting?" I asked him.

"Just a lot of things."

"Is it your dad?"

He shrugged. "Mum already got everything ready. For some weird reason...she won't even let me see him."

I swallowed. "Did she tell you why?"

"No. It is going to be a closed coffin too. How ridiculous is that?"

A closed coffin? Is it probably because...there was no corpse?

"I an so sorry, Luke."

He shook his head. "It is fine. Nothing a pretty sky...and a good friend can't fix."

I nodded, wondering if that would be effective when he finds out they would be burying an empty coffin.

"You are silent. Do you find the sky that mesmerizing?"

I looked up to the sky again. It was already dark now, and I moved away from the window.

"It must be really hard...and lonely. Isn't it?"

He chuckled. "At least, I have you to call now. It used to be much worse." His voice went down an octave, and then he let out a sigh. "Maybe I should let you rest now."

"Luke."

"Yes?" He answered and I could hear a slight shuffle. It was like he had already removed the phone from his ear and only returned it when he heard my voice.

"Would you like it if I came over?"

There was a moment of silence. "Do you want to?"

I nodded, a little absent mindedly. My future self was probably laughing hard at my fickle decisions now, after she had sworn to not like Luke.

"Yes, I want to."

There was another moment of silence. "Would you like to?" His voice dripped with uncertainty this time around.

"Just give me the address." I laughed. "Tell me if there is something you want and I will bring it to you."

He was still silent for a few seconds. "You know...gummy bears?"

I burst into laughter. "Fine. If that's what you want."

I could almost hear his smile as I dropped the phone, and his text came in some seconds later.

I took a quick shower and changed into a black kneelength high waist skirt and pink shirt, then took my sling bag with my phone and credit card.

The reality didn't hit me till I was in the car, smoothening my hair with my fingers. I had just offered to go to Luke. Was it just pity? Why am I doing this, disrupting so many timelines just because I want to?

I swallowed and looked at ny phone. Should I tell him I wouldn't be able to come anymore? Would that not hurt him?

I closed my eyes and settled in the car. I already made this decision, of my own voalition back at home. I can't back out of it now. And to be honest, I don't even want to.

I recognized the neighborhood from the day his father died, and I had brought him here in a taxi. I stilled as the wave of familiarity hit me. It was crazy just how fast things between us had changed and how much I am willing to do now.

I swallowed as the car came to a brief stop in front of a store. I got out and got two large jars of gummy bears, and a two bars of toblerone. I headed back to the car and sat in, finally able to let go of the uncertainties I felt. The late evening breeze helped me realize I got another chance and this time I wouldn't let my own insecurities mess everything up.

Luke was standing outside, his hands in his pockets, his eyes searching when we got to the house. I could see how much his eyes brightened, and his smile widened as he ran to the side of the car where I was sitting, and helped me open the door.

"Hey," he said once I stepped out, his voice laced heavily with excitement.

"Are you that excited because of me or is it the gummy bears?"

He laughed heartily, then slipped his hand into mine. "I can't say it's not the gummy bears."

I rolled my eyes playfully, and walked in front of him, while he followed behind me. When we got to the door, he went to it and opened, ushering me in with one of his biggest smiles yet again.

We walked past the garden and then to the front porch.

"Here," he said and opened up the door. I walked in, and he came after me to turn the lights all on.

It was a beautiful cozy home, compared with large up to down windows, and a rocking chair by one of them. I could almost imagine him sitting on that earlier, his phone pressed to his ear as he watched the sunset.

"It's beautiful." I said. Large pots of flowers graced the place and apart from the large TV and modern style cushions, it seemed more antique and peaceful, like a greenhouse.

"Glad you liked it. I really wanted to make something up for you, but didn't know how fast you'll get here. So I will just do it now."

I laughed and pushed the bag to him. "Your gummy bears."

His smile got even wider as he opened it up and took a jar out. I walked to the couch and sat, my eyes roaming around the house.

"You can look around. I bet that will be good while I make something. What would you like?"

I looked up at him. We were both friendly and close, but the slight awkwardness till hung. I could almost feel him wanting to please me hard, and I could feel just how stiff I was.

"I will do that." I said, walking past him to take a look around the house.

"Karla." He said, and I turned to him. He slowly dropped the jars on the couch, then walked to me.

I blinked. "Yes?"

He didn't reply it, just leaned to my height and came closer, holding my gaze. I almost stopped breathing. I have never had him so close before and coupled with the fact that I was in his home...

He smiled and pecked my cheek, then leaned away. "Thanks for coming over. I wasn't sure how much I needed it till you actually came."

I swallowed, blinking back emotions I couldn't exactly place right now. "You don't...need to mention that."

He smiled again and walked away, presumably to the kitchen, leaving me alone, a little blank, and yet so filled up.