Chapter 32: Chapter 32

With my newfound self-confidence, I ran down the marble steps as elegantly as I could with my sneakers and dress and only stopped when I arrived in the open kitchen, which smelled wonderfully of coffee and pancakes.

Dario stood at the stove with his sleeves rolled up and glanced at me briefly, only to let his gaze wander over my dress again, which would have made me nervous yesterday, but I forced myself to ignore it..

"Have you had the tea?" he asked, taking the pan off the stove to put the pancake inside with the others on a large plate.

"No, I'd rather have a coffee."

I ran purposefully towards him, leaned close to his shoulder to the coffee pot and felt his intense gaze on me, which burned up to my skin, while I, without paying any attention to him, also got a cup from the cupboard fetched and filled it with the jug.

"You'd better-"

"Exactly," I interrupted him abruptly, looking up into his blue eyes. "I should finally do what I want and not what others ask."

I suddenly realized that we were looking into each other's eyes for far too long. I felt how everything around us seemed to dissolve and even noticed the pleasant warmth of his body, with which he was standing much too close to mine.

"And what do you want?"

He turned his body around to face me, not stopping to look at me questioningly for a second and I just did it.

I forced myself to do the right thing. That which would satisfy everyone but myself.

"Having breakfast and then looking at wedding dresses. After all, I'm getting married soon."

His expression seemed to slip for a split second, but he quickly recovered himself and turned his attention back to the pancakes, walking past me to the table, plate in hand.

"Shit." I whispered and closed my eyes to take a deep breath. That fleeting look of shock on his part burned itself into my heart and I wished he hadn't shown me that expression.

"Then I wish you a lot of fun, Ludovica."

Irritated, I turned around and stared thoughtfully at him as he stood there with his hands in his dark pants and his eyes alone got me to hold the air deep in my lungs for a while.

"Thanks, Dario."

My words slipped like poison from my lips and I watched him as he disappeared through the doorway, leaving nothing behind but my bruised conscience.

But it was good.

I grabbed my cup, padded over to the table and started to have breakfast all alone and in peace, although it was already noon. It was incredibly good to finally get something in my stomach, but before long I was feeling full and turned to the newspaper on the table to read any unnecessary reports about the climate.

"Here!"

Startled by a bang on the table, I dropped the newspaper while holding my breath and looked up wide-eyed at Dario, who was standing across from me at the table and scrutinized me with a raised eyebrow.

Only then did I stare at the table and saw a thick bridal catalog in front of me.

Did he seriously want to provoke me now? If so, he certainly wasn't going to get the reaction he was trying to evoke from me.

With an enchanting smile, I turned my gaze back to him, calmly folding the newspaper and pushing it aside to grab the catalogue.

"Thank you. Very helpful of you," I trilled defiantly, then turned to the first page.

"I'd love to," he replied and sat down on the chair across from me to scrutinize me non-stop.

I ignored him and continued leafing through the catalog until I felt his leg brush slightly against mine under the table.

"Can you please stop that?" I snapped at him irritably, targeting him, but he just shrugged unknowingly and smiled so charmingly that I wanted to sigh dreamily.

But I didn't do him the favour.

"What should I not do?" he asked calmly, leaning further forward, causing me to quickly avoid his eyes again. Without giving him an answer, I looked at a really beautiful wedding dress, but then I suddenly felt his hand on my thigh and before I could pull my leg to the side, he squeezed so hard that it hurt slightly and I did breath held.

"Answer me if I ask you something!"

"Don't do that!" I immediately snapped back at him angrily, slamming the catalog shut and standing up, but he just blocked my way and wouldn't let me get away, so it all made me even angrier!

"Dario!" I admonished him, putting my hand on his chest to push him aside, but instead of backing away or evading me, he suddenly allowed the touch, which for a split second seemed completely unreal to me.

I stared in amazement at my hand that rested quietly on his chest. Feeling his fast heartbeat beneath her and slowly stroking the fabric of his white shirt, feeling the tingling in my fingertips and enjoying how it soon spread to my whole body.

It was like sparks were flying from my body. Everything was flashing and the blood was rushing through my veins.

"You just don't get it," he whispered, lifting my chin slightly so that I took my eyes off my hand and looked him straight in the eye. "You deserve better. I just can't watch you perish right now!"

Mentally back in the bitter reality, I took my hand back, which really wasn't easy and I already missed this breathtaking tingling sensation. I would have loved to continue to indulge in this feeling of his closeness, but it was pointless. There was too much at stake, too much between us. I had to be strong now. Strong for the family.

"Dario, I'm fine," I explained calmly, but I didn't dare to look him in the eye. He would immediately recognize that I was not doing well right now.

"So good you can't even look at me?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and then looked up at him.

"Please stop doing that," I almost begged, feeling the lump in my throat that seemed to get bigger and bigger. "Gino sees something in me, Dario. He tries hard. He treats me well! He protects me and cares! But you make it so difficult for me to just live. Your looks, your words. I can do this back and forth don't participate anymore! It tears me apart!"

Dario looked at me as if he was overwhelmed himself at the moment, but when he was about to say something, I raised my hand and shook my head almost imperceptibly, so that he closed his lips again and was silent.

"Just stop looking at me like that."

"So you really want me to leave you alone?"

"Yes."

He seemed surprised. On the one hand by the seriousness in my voice, which surprised even me. On the other hand, taking a step back from him, but I really didn't intend to submit to anyone or feel so torn any longer.

"Good. It's your decision Ludovica. But don't say later that I didn't want to help you."

His eyes swept over my body and my slightly flushed face one last time, as if he knew that I would change soon. As if he wanted to remember me that way. This feeling scared me somehow and I was about to ask him how he would have wanted to help me, but then I heard several loud voices in the hallway and looked past him.

Giovanni.

"Darling," she greeted Dario with a bright smile, and then pulled off her really nice sunglasses to give me a quick, arrogant look that made me gasp. I was still not fully fit and really didn't feel like she would attack me again, but to my relief, she ignored me and went back to targeting her fiancé. "I had different wines, sparkling wine and champagne delivered to us."

"What for?" Dario wanted to know and, like me, looked over to the archway through which several men in suits came in at the moment and placed crates of alcohol on the kitchen island.

"We have to make sure that we offer the right drinks with the food at our wedding!", she retorted with a slight hint of hysteria in her voice, but suddenly turned to one of the men who was just there placed a box a little too firmly on the island's slab. "You better watch out, you useless idiot!"

She scurried past Dario and headed straight for the guy, boldly tapping his name tag several times.

"I'll file a complaint against you and then-"

"Enough!" Dario interrupted her sternly, handing the man several bills from his wallet. "Please just go."

The man disappeared totally perplexed and Giovanna stared at Dario expectantly, but he also just ran past her after the man without even glancing at either of us.

"We have to try this together!" she called after him irritably when Dario had already disappeared into the hallway, but all he could hear from him was "You know that I don't like to drink" and then there was silence.

Absolutely awkward silence.

I didn't know what to do or say. Just stood there transfixed admiring Giovanna's beautiful curls and her even prettier black dress until her eyes met mine and I quickly forced my eyes away from her.

"You like it, don't you?!"

She took a step towards me, so I brought my eyes back to hers inquiringly and frowned in confusion.

"What should I like?"

"That he keeps leaving me standing! Actually, you should be doing a happy dance now, so why don't you do it?"

"Why should I be happy about that?" I wanted to know and it was true that I really didn't like her at all, but I still wasn't a person who wished bad things on others . At least not mostly, although I was yesterday would have loved to see a hole in her head.

"Don't be innocent, Ludovica," she said defiantly, turning to the kitchen island to take a knife and cut open one of the boxes. "I know he fucks you. I'm not a naive idiot like Gino is!"

Completely surprised by her words, I widened my eyes and just stared speechlessly at her back, while my hands started to sweat slightly from shame and I wanted to vanish into thin air.

Only when she pulled a bottle of red wine out of the box did she turn back to me and walk past me to the table to place the bottle a little more firmly on it.

"You have no idea what it's like to love someone who can't even touch you, who you're not allowed to touch," she explained hurt and ran back to the kitchen to get a corkscrew and two glasses. "But I love him and I've learned to accept it. What I can't tolerate is the way he looks at you."

She came back to the table with quick steps, placed everything neatly on it and stood right in front of me again to examine me without expression for a long time. How badly I wished for a huge hole in the ground at that moment, that I would simply be swallowed up would.

"I'm not going and the only reason I'm not telling Gino is because I know for a fact that he's going to put all the blame on Dario and not you! I couldn't take it and I wouldn't want it either. "

I listened to her, but only as if stunned. That she knew made me so ashamed at that moment, and it really made me realize that it wasn't just my feelings, or Darios, that were being hurt. There was also her. his fiancée. and no matter how shitty she was, nobody deserved such a betrayal and it encouraged me in my intention to distance myself from Dario for good.

Without saying anything, I watched her as she opened the wine and filled the two glasses before taking both in her hands, looking at me and handing me one.

"I really love him and have for a long time," she said quietly, but with a clearly recognizable threat behind it. "Take care of your fiancé and we won't have a problem, but if you get too close to mine again, I won't show any understanding. Believe me, you don't want me as an enemy."

She nudged her glass lightly against mine and took a deep sip, then regarded me expectantly.

I also took a sip, avoiding her intense gaze, and then emptied the glass completely, hoping that the damn alcohol would take effect quickly.

"Are we clear?"

I put the glass down on the table, immediately looked at her and nodded in agreement, as I had already decided to distance myself before we spoke.

"Crystal clear," I replied and just wanted to get past her and get away quickly, but suddenly she grabbed my wrist so that I stared at her in irritation and stopped.

"Enzo is gone, Dario isn't drinking and I need someone to go through the drinks list with me. Sit down."

"Are you serious?" I asked, amazed that she seriously wanted to spend time with me voluntarily, but she only seemed to take advantage of it, because her disparaging look showed too well what dislike she had towards me.

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

Without answering her, I walked around the table and sat down in the exact chair where I had just been reading the newspaper, only to watch Giovanna utterly unrelaxed as she pulled out another bottle of red wine from another carton.

How did I get in here.

-

Hours passed. hours in which I tasted one wine after the other with her, telling her taciturnly what I liked and didn't like about it, while the sun was slowly setting outside.

"Basically, they all taste the same," I said with a heavy tongue after what felt like my thousandth glass and already knew that I would probably just fall over if I got up. Giovanna seemed to be starting to notice the alcohol too, as she somehow became nicer and more open after each glass.

"Yes, isn't it?" she replied to my statement and was just about to open a new bottle when I stared at the many open ones on the table next to us and suddenly burst out laughing. My vision was already slightly blurry, but I recognized one thing very well.

"What is it?" Giovanna wanted to know and now stared at all the bottles, while tears welled up in my eyes, I had to laugh so heartily. It was incredibly good and I didn't care that she was sitting in front of me and I was full.

"You seem to have ordered multiple cases of the same wine," I giggled, pointing at the labels. "So it's no wonder everything tastes the same."

"What?" she breathed in a little panic and got up to take a closer look at one of the bottles. "Oh my God."

She stared at me in disbelief, bottle in hand, and I gasped to keep from laughing out loud. But it just happened. I had no control at all and her panicked expression was just too divine.

She suddenly laughed too, sitting back down in her chair to put a hand on her forehead.

"We're totally drunk and that's completely for nothing," she said between her laughs and shook her head in disbelief while I was already pouring myself the next glass, giggling.

"Free is always good," I slurred, raising my glass, which made her raise hers and clink glasses with me.

"What's going on here?"

Enzo was just coming through the archway into the living room and not only he, but also Dario and Nicolo followed him and looked at us as if they saw ghosts.

"Wine tasting," Giovanna said seriously, and I then looked at myself while my gaze wandered to Enzo, who was eyeing the bottles and seemed confused.

Dario walked past Giovanna, took one of the bottles and I could see a fleeting smile on his lips as he also realized that all the wine was the same.

"You know that you taste different wines at a wine tasting?"

Dario's words sounded like he wanted to laugh, but he held back and looked as blank as ever, which made me kind of sad. But when I remembered Giovanna's words despite my spinning mind, I pulled my attention away from him and instead gave them to Enzo, who eyed me with a raised eyebrow.

"And you didn't know that you only taste the wine and then spit it out?"

I shook my head and was kind of totally relaxed. Probably because I drank too much.

"Since money doesn't grow out of my ass personally, I certainly didn't intend to just spit out the expensive wine."

Actually, I didn't think anything of what I said, but when everyone suddenly looked at me in shock, I felt as if I had said something wrong, until Enzo started laughing. When I heard the sound of Dario's laughter for the first time, my heart skipped a beat and I wanted nothing more than to look deep into his eyes at the joy he felt, to share the moment with him share. but I let it be and smiled apologetically at Enzo instead.

"I like that drunken Ludo with the red nose," he said, and I immediately remembered that people had often told me that my cheeks and nose would turn red after drinking alcohol. I quickly put my hand in front of my face and still laughed.

"Me too," Giovanna explained and seemed unable to think clearly either.

Just when everyone had gathered again to some extent, Dario and Enzo also took a seat, but I then got up and excused myself briefly to go to the toilet to look at the front door when I arrived in the hallway.

I was drunk and just in a good mood and that's exactly what I wanted to share with someone. With someone who didn't even know how lucky he was.

My slightly blurred gaze fell on the side table next to the stairs and when I saw the car keys of a Maserati, I grabbed them and left the house without thinking further.