Chapter 117: Chapter 117

(Avery’s Thoughts)

“Hey, you’ve been crying since you and Seid talked but you never answer any of my questions,” I hear Dee comforting me while he’s driving back to his penthouse.

But words can’t just escape my mouth. All I feel right now is heartache, pain, sadness, and guilt, a mixed emotion of thoughts,

“I wished I had known.”

“He should have told me.”

“I wish I would have been more understanding.”

But on the other note, this is how my mind goes,

“I loved him for 10 fucking years, I was loyal, and yet he was a cheater.”

“He was a liar.”

“He deserved what happened to him.”

My brain feels like exploding and I feel suffocated, I think I’m having a panic attack. So I whisper to Dee, “S-stop the car, Dee.”

“Why, are you hurt or something?” he asks with full concern towards me.

I can’t even bring myself to tell him, and because of frustration, I raise my voice, “Stop the fucking car!”

All I ever want is to get out of that small moving box. I need to feel the air. My attack is limiting my ability to breathe.

“Hold on, I’ll find an emergency parking,” Dee immediately responds to my request.

“H-hurry, please!” I beg him.

The second he finds an empty space on the street side, he quickly hits the break, and when the car comes into a full stop, I swing the car door without hesitation and almost crawl myself out from the sport’s car passenger seat, crying, no, wailing.

I look at the sky and try to intake as much air as I could. My shoulders rise with every breath I breathe.

My heart that’s been pounding loudly has now calmed down, but suddenly, I feel my legs cramping having me lose my balance. Thanks to Dmitri’s quick reflex, he’s able to save me from tripping on the side of the busy road.

I hug him tight and bury my face on his broad shoulder as people start staring at me from the sidewalk.

Despite calming myself from the panic attack, my tears won’t just go away. His warm hands stroke my back up and down and I feel comforted.

He is patient to stay in this awkward position in a public face until I am ready to let go of his body.

“Avery, do you want me to bring you to your hotel instead?” I hear him whisper to my ear. So I nod my head since I can’t still find my voice to speak up.

He assists me in getting back into his car. He covers my head with his hand so it won’t bump the car roof. Dmitri always has this gentle side of him. He is caring and that adds up to his charm.

On the way back to my apartment, my eyes are still full of tears to cry. I probably can use the idiomatic expression ‘crying a river’ in this situation.

The pounding and constriction are gone, yet the pain is still there. Yes, I was hurt knowing that Seid cheated on me though I remained faithful and devoted myself to him during those times. That’s my ego hurting me.

But what saddens me is the fact that I acted on my sexual drives while he suffered alone. He did everything to protect me. Had he not suppressed himself having sex with me, I would have gotten his herpes, as well.

Now, he has to bear the consequence alone, but I guess after his confession today about the cheating and about his lingering love towards me, I can’t be friends with him anymore.

All I wish is for him to still find hapiness despite everything.

Without even knowing, we finally arrive at my hotel. I ask Dmitri to leave as soon as he sends me to my room, and somehow he accepts it.

But truly, this day hasn’t set yet, it couldn’t be more interesting when I see who’re standing in front of my hotel door.

“Bitch! We’ve been waiting for you!” Art yells and waves at me from a distance, while Kendra remains silent, she just stares at both of us as we get closer to them.

Dmitri holds me on my arm when he notices my legs wobble, “Hey, you sure you’ll be okay? I see Kendra, do you want me to talk to her and explain instead?” his worried voice enters my ears again.

“It’s K, Dee, my bestfriend. I’ll handle her,” I shortly respond still weak.

When we are just few inches apart, I see Kendra avoids Dee’s direction while Art literally drops his jaw when he sees him. But for some reason, it isn’t a gaze of admiration, but it is something else.

His face turns a little darker, and maybe he’s wondering who this guy might be, so I introduced him to Dee, “Dee, this is my other bestfriend, Artemis.”

“Art, this is Dee–Dmitri–”

“–DeAndre?” but Art must have heard me wrong. Dee’s brows furrowed for a second, and I catch all of it. Maybe he is pissed since he calls him a different name. Still, he reaches for Art’s hand.

“Dmitri Sullivan,” he emphasizes his name, “A pleasure to meet you, I’m Miss Anderson’s apartment’s new owner, we just had to talk about something but she isn’t feeling very well so I send her off,” Dee plays his part well.

Art, who is usually friendly, loud, and cheerful in front of others, unexpectedly acts cold and distant towards, Dee.

“Where’s the keycard, A, you need to rest, come on,” K grabs the keycard and pushes me gently inside without even talking to Dmitri.

Art does the same, and I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye to him either as K closes the door behind me.

***

After I change, the three of us cuddle in my bed just like we used to do when we were kids. K surprisingly never brings up Dee and she somehow treats me warmly today. She may have noticed my reddish eyes.

Then Art seems to be a little down lately, so K calls her out, “Hey, Art! What the hell is wrong with you? Did you and your boyfriend fight? Aren’t you happy you are with us huh?” K jests and throws him a pillow.

Finally, Art comes back to normal and the two of them have a pillow fight. They notice my low energy as well so both of them hit me with the pillow to boost me up, one in front, and one at the back.

Just like kids, we jump on the bed and play with the pillow.

When our energy runs out, Art gets some cans of beer form my fridge, and we drink in my bed.

After finishing a can, I finally get my courage to share what happened today. I know it’s not just my secret to tell, but they are my bestfriends, and if I don’t let it out, the guilt and pain might consume me.

***

“He did that?” Art is fumingly angry at Seid. “That bastard! I should have punched him harder the last time we had an encounter!”

“You fought with Seid? When?” K is baffled by the news.

“Oh yes, and I sent him kissing the floor,” Art proudly announces his win.

K laughs, “Well, Seid isn’t the athletic type, and you are way taller than him, so that figures,” she even adds.

“Yet, I can’t believe he cheated on you. He’s head over heels to you ever since,” then K clicks her tongue, “You can really never tell.”

“That’s what an ecstasy would do, girl. So, you better keep safe when you drink at a bar and make sure you won’t be fooled by any man. Especially nowadays, I’ve been hearing victims waking up without any recollection, only to find out they’ve already been raped.”

Art’s news sends creep to out bones. Really, the world is scary nowadays.

I sigh, “I just, I don’t know what to feel.”

“You should be angry!” says Art.

“You should be grateful!” counters K.

The two of them bicker about their different point of view, and somehow, I get what they are trying to say.

So I butt in before their argument gets heated up, “Actually, I get what you two mean, and I feel those at the same time. Yet, I still feel sorry because he has to face it alone. I-I can’t force myself to be with him, nor fake that I am not angry.”

And both of them nod at me and at each other, finally arriving to an agreement. And after talking about Seid, I take this opportunity to explain about me and Dee.

I promise I won’t ever lie to her so here I am opening up.

“K,” I look at her, “Art,” I say in a soft voice.

“About me and Dee,” I gulp after saying these words, and their eyes are on me.

“I… I think–” still finding the right word, K completes my question, “You love him, do you?” And she’s smiling while saying those words.

“I think I am in love with him, big time. No matter what I do, No matter how hard I try to avoid him, or to shut this feelings up, I just can’t,” my voice quivers as I continue to confess my real feelings to him.

K is about to answer when Art buts in perplexing us with a rather ridiculous question, “A, well, it’s not that… I mean–” he stutters, and he isn’t like this, “I mean– I don’t want to say this but, is his name really Dmitri and not DeAndre?” his face is serious with his eyebrows almost creating a one straight line.

Kendra and I look at each other, and she answers, “Yeah, we are sure of it. He is actually, Nikolai’s brother-in-law, you know?”

Art’s face is even more confused. I can’t forget the name he utters, “DeAndre,” it’s the second time he mentions it today and that can’t be a coincidence, can it?

So I gather my strength to suffice my curiosity, “Why, Art? D-do you know something? H-have you seen him before?”

Art sighs and he crosses his arms on his chest, something that he does when he’s deeply thinking about something.

“I don’t know if how you’ll take it, but my boyfriend is rich, you know that right?”

“Uh-huh,”

“Yeah,” K and I positively react.

“Well, I think I’ve seen him before, but you wouldn’t like what I’m about to say,” he keeps the suspense with his over-enunciated accent.

“Spill it out, now!” K being her, impatiently bugs him off.

“Okay, okay,” Art says. “I came to a party once and met a lot of rich people, including billionaires, of course, and I am positive that I saw him there–” he halts.

“See what? What is he doing?” K hits her thighs like drums.

I gulp with every word Art had said. I literally hold my chest, feeling the skipping heartbeat inside of my blouse.

“I saw him kissing another man,” Art drops the bomb as if he’s telling a scary ghost story to us.

K and I look at each other and counter what he just said.

“Impossible! Dmitri loves women, you know! If only you knew how he drove our firend here, crazy!” K imposes.

“Yeah, and he, he loves having sex with me. And he–he’s actually my first,” another secret has been revealed.

“He was? So he was the guy in Austria?” K’s eyes widen. I nod and she curses, “What the fuck, Avery?”

“I, I just knew recently. I met some of his billionaire friends and they told me the truth,” I announce.

K holds her head, “Oh girl, you really are in trouble! The curse of the soul ties probably befalls on you, that’s why you can’t get over him!”

Art enters the conversation again, “So what? There’s a term bisexual, in case you forgot, ladies. Interested in both men and women,” Art insists on his idiotic speculations.

But my heart and mind just can’t take it. “I know for sure, my body knows that Dmitri is damn straight!”

“No!” I scream, “He can’t be! One heartbreak is my quota for the day. I can’t have anyone breaking my heart again!” I proclaim.

“Your call, sissy, I am just reminding you to at least be prepared. If I were you, stick with Jeff!” Art says his piece.

“Well, he has a point, Jeff is a great guy after all,” K agrees with him.

And the conversation ends there, leaving me the biggest doubt ever, “Can Dmitri be really bisexual?”