Chapter 106: Chapter 106

(Avery’s Thoughts)

As soon as we enter the apartment I know something’s wrong. His mood changes. He goes straight to the living room, and he adjusts his clothes.

“Is he hot? He is covered in sweat,” I tell myself. I look at him as I close the door behind me and put the keycard on the kitchen counter.

I look at him loosening up his clothes, looking irritable and uncomfortable.

Suddenly, what Greta said a while ago pops up in my mind. Is it really true? Did he really find me? Just as Peach said. Then, why didn’t he approach me? Did I make a wrong decision?

Now, I am so confused. I follow his every move with my eyes, and as soon as my right foot steps on the carpet in the living room, our eyes meet.

I see his green eyes, his alluring eyes, only looking at me. And his gaze, his focused gaze melts me away, it melts all the hatred and the confusion away.

It only gives me warmth and the desire, the longing to be touched by him once again. I bite my lips and I c-can’t stop myself from looking only at him.

All I can think about is our first encounter at the bar, the f-first time we had sex, the first time he kissed me, he hugged me. All I see is him, no one else.

And now that he’s in front of me like this ever again, now that we are all alone, without anyone, my body is screaming its honest desire, all I want is his touch all over me.

And just like that, I find myself in his arms again, h-he pulls me to him, wraps his arms around my waist and secures my face with one of his big hand.

I gulp staring at his face up-close, “God, everything about him is so darn perfect.”

Until I couldn’t take it anymore, I caress his face, and then, he claims for my lips, a gentle, peck on my lips restarts everything.

Every part of me genuinely reacts to what he’s doing. My body and heart says to go forward, but my mind says this is wrong since I am engaged to someone else.

So with a little effort, I try to remove myself from him, but just as how I am imprisoned in the surreality of his love, my fragile, famished body is now caged in his strong arms.

I have to make a decision, and I hope I won’t regret this. I finally let go of myself, no more running, no more hiding, no more denying, just accepting.

With my whole body, I accept him once again. And for some unknown reason, it reminds me of the first time I lost my virginity to a stranger.

“Was he really a stranger? Dmitri’s strokes on my breast, the way he licks my skin, the method he uses in playing with my bosom are uncanny to the man who took my virginity. Is it possible that he–”

But before my thoughts could even finish, my loud mouth releases a moan because of the satisfaction I am getting from Dmitri’s mouth.

My mind is now focused on him. I can feel him kissing me, and with his kisses, he is hungry for me, he is longing for my lips.

“And I… as much as I hate to admit, I’ve been longing for him, too. I hate to compare, but only his touch makes my world go round and round.”

There’s no more alcohol to blame, no more ignorance to acclaim. I am really sober, and it is now clear to me, that–

“I can’t live without you. My body can’t live without you, Dee. Take me, take me, please,” these are the words I utter as I temporarily part my lips from his.

God knows I tried to stay away, but he, he’s always been in my heart, far so deep, I can’t get him out.

“I am sorry, Jeff. Maye just this once, please,” I cry as I kiss him back more aggressively. Then he carries me as if I’m weightless, his strong arms did just all that.

Careful and gentle, he walks towards the bedroom and lays me on the bed. And I realize, he has never been in this room with me. It made me happy, happy that he would be the first man that I get to share this bed with, not to Seid, not to Jeff.

But he distances himself for me, and I feel a sensation of pain lurking around my chest, “Why? Why did you stop? Why are you going further away?” my mind wants to retaliate against his action.

But I look at his face, and I know he’s hurting. I know that he’s struggling, too.

"Fucking shit, Dmitri!" he curses at himself. He walks back and forth just a few meters away from the edge of the bed.

The mighty Dmitri Sullivan is confused, and he doesn’t know what to do. So I help him decide. As I cry myself out, and my voice quivers, I finally get to say what’s really on my mind, “Dee, why did you come back? I was okay without you, I thought I was okay with you. Now that you are here. I can’t get you off my mind, I would go crazy because of you. Just kiss me, please. Just fucking kiss me.”

And with the bravest decision I ever made, Dmitri follows.

He starts removing his clothes, and he climbs up to bed to artistically remove mine.

With every stroke, with every touch, with every groan we share together, we know that it wasn’t just a call of lust, but desperation of love.

***

(Dmitri’s Thoughts)

After the wild love-making we just had, I notice her silence beside me.

My back is resting flat on the headboard, while her head is resting on my chest. I just love the feeling of her next to me.

I pat her back and secure my left arm around her back and waist. After a few moments of silence, she finally talks. She shyly looks at me and says hesitantly,

“Dee, I want us to continue the sex contract, the one you offered in Gemrany, does it still stand?” Her eyes are locked on me. I know that she has finally decided.

In fact, this is the decision I’ve been waiting for, and finally hearing it from her makes me so glad. I help her get up and I hold her on her shoulders, “Yes, I am just waiting to hear your answer. Are you sure about it?” I ask her.

She nods, and then tears fall from her eyes, “I’m sorry for making you do this. Are you really okay being the other man?” she asks me crying.

I kiss her on her forehead and embraces her, “Yes, as long as I am with you. Just stay by my side, I am going to be whoever you want me to be,” I pronounce.

For the first time, I saw her think of herself, think of what she wants, and not what I want or anybody wants. She finally learned how to put herself first before the others.

And if this is what other call selfishness, I don’t give a damn. I just want to be with her, and I just want to make her happy as long as I could.

And our night ends with a sex contract locked with a kiss.