Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Chapter 16

Vladimir’s POV

She was gone. Or maybe, that’s what I thought because she didn’t see me for a week. I am going crazy thinking about what happened to her.

What is she doing?

Is she okay? I don’t want to think she’s gone. I want to believe that she’s just too tired so she can’t use her human form. I just want to think that I lost every ability I have to see her because maybe I lost all her blood in my veins.

I tried to calm myself because that might hurt her if she’s beside me so I focus on other things. I spent most of my time on the council, helping the other house restore it. I attended a meeting to replace my father’s absence even though it bored me so much.

I went to university, listened to lectures that didn't even make sense to me. I tried everything just to stop me from thinking about her. Yet, everytime I stare at the sky, everytime I see the sun sets, I can’t help but to think of her.

It’s been weeks and it hurts me to not even know a single thing about her. It hurts so much that I wanted to die with it.

“Where are you?” I kept on whispering hoping that she would listen. I kept on praying and praying every night but I got no answer so I decided to go to Fermine.

"Can you still see her with me?" I asked Fermine after I entered the bookshop. He looked at my side, then his eyes went everywhere to search until it got mine again. He looked at me with raised eyebrows as if he was wondering.

"What did you do to her?"

“What? Nothing, ”I said, worried. “Why? Is she not here with me? She didn’t see me for a week so I went here to ask.”

"I can no longer see her."

"No," I said. “You must be kidding me! She hasn’t left. She hadn’t even said goodbye to me! ”I shouted. “No, look around again. You might miss her.”

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I clearly don't see her."

I closed my eyes, trying to control my tears and my emotions. I just don’t want to believe that she disappeared. I hate myself, until now I still don’t know what I should do to save her. I still don’t know what I will do to help her make things right.

"Tell me, how could I save an angel?" I asked Fermine. For a while, he looked at me with a surprised look until I heard him laugh just like how Stan laughed.

"What, is it really impossible?"

"Yeah, impossible like saying you'll be dead if you do that."

"Dead?" I started to question it. "If I die, will she live?"

He was silent. It took him a second to finally answer me. “I don’t know. It’s just a metaphor.”

“No, you are lying,” I accused, though I could really feel that he’s hiding something. "Tell me something I don't know." I stared at him, trying to use my power but it didn't have any effect against him so I stopped. "Tell me!" I said, frustrated. “Please, tell me what to do. If I have to die to save her, I will do it! ”

“Do you think she would allow that? Do you really think she would allow you to die just to save her?”

"What do you mean?" I asked, questioning everything I know. “You mean, there’s another way, right? There is. Tell me, what is it?”

“Trust her. Just trust her. She knows what she’s doing. Right, Syne?” I automatically turned to the doorman. I saw her standing there, but didn’t even feel her.

I didn’t even notice if she had been standing before. I can no longer smell her blood just like before. It’s somehow I lost the connection I had with her now.

"Hi," she waved her hand. I noticed she was somehow different now. She seems more relaxed. “Sorry, I went somewhere to regain some strength. Look, I’m kinda fine now. ”She smiled, the smile she used to give me before.

I missed her. I missed everything about her.

"So, can we go on a date?" She held out her hand to me. "I missed you, Chival."

"Who am I to say no to an angel, right?" I chuckled. I reached for her hand and in an instant I found myself inside a cinema with popcorn in my hand.

I was amazed by her power. “How can you do that? Is it really natural for you to do that? Wait, maybe you are using too much- “ She stopped by putting popcorn inside my mouth.

“Let’s just watch. Please?” She pouted. “No more questions or else I’ll get mad,” She added but I just couldn’t imagine her being mad. I never saw her getting mad. It doesn’t even suit her serene face.

Okay. I watched. I watched her until she got tired from laughing because of the movie. I gave her a handkerchief when she was about to cry from the movie. I listened to her rant about each character and for each scene until she no longer can think of one. I watched her and memorized each line on her face.

When the movie was already done, she held my hand then we both disappeared. Finding myself inside a train. She was holding a guitar, my guitar, and I am still wondering how fast she got everything in its place. Well, she’s an angel after all.

"Please sing a song for me." She reached for the guitar. I hesitated for a while, because we were inside the train and there were a lot of people but I just couldn’t let her down so I started strumming, ignoring the people around us.

I sang the song I sang to her at the amusement park again. I sing it with all my heart's content until she falls asleep on my shoulder. It took minutes before the train stopped at the amusement park.

It was getting dark, the sun was already setting when we went down so I was waiting for her to disappear but she didn't disappear. Whatever she did when she was gone, I’m happy she did it because she looks so well just like before.

"Don't worry," she said as if she had read my mind. “I’ve got enough energy in this world so I won’t disappear when the sun sets. We could actually watch the sun.”

She pointed to the bench and we sat there.

While waiting for the sun to set, she told her favorite legend of a volcano that she witnessed when she was still training to gain her wings. I think I heard the story before in a literature class, though she’s better than the one who told the story to me before. Of course, she saw it with her own eyes.

"Are you gonna die when you disappear?" I asked. I'm not comfortable, I really want to know. I want to help her. “Angels don’t die. Do they?”

"Yeah, yet it doesn't mean we are not capable of dying."

“Where do angels go when they die? Where do you go? Is there a heaven or hell too for angels?”

"That, I can't answer."

"How about you tell me how to save you?"

"Look," she stared at me. “I cannot be saved. I can only heal myself when I go back to heaven, yet I cannot be saved from everything I’ve done. From all the wrong things I’ve done.”

"So love is a wrong thing then?" I said, annoyed. “Does God tell us whom to love? Did he make a rule saying whom you should only love? C’mon, Cassy, is it wrong to love me? What makes us so wrong that you need a punishment from heaven? What makes our love so wrong that you need to die? Does God even know how to forgive? We are - well you are his child. ”I let my tears flow for the first time. I don’t know but I can’t remember the time where I cried so hard, so hard.

She held my hand, and stopped me from crying. He wiped away the tears that kept dripping from my eyes. “We are his children. God does know how to forgive. God loves us that’s why he gave us the gift of love. Because sometimes love is the only thing that would save us. It’s the only thing that could save us.”

“How could love save us when you’re going to die because you fell in love with me? You are not making any sense!”

I saw her put on a sad smile. “I am not being punished because I fell in love with you. I am being punished because I abandoned my duty as an angel. I am being punished because I saved you, and saving you broke the natural order of the afterlife. As an angel my duty is to maintain the peace in the afterlife but I let you live. You weren’t supposed to live that night, Chival. You weren’t. You were supposed to die, and be reincarnated after a thousand years.”

“Falling in love with you just comes next. So stop crying and hurting because you don’t have to worry. I am already done with my punishment and I deserve this. It’s nothing.”

"But you get to feel every bad dream of people who prayed to their guardian angel every night!" I scowled. I hate to even think about how she feels every time.

“That’s not a big deal. And it’s not like there’s a lot. People nowadays forget to pray to their guardian angels. Sometimes, I wish children were forever children because when they grow up they forget and even refuse to believe in angels.” I heard her sigh.

“Also, you don’t have to worry. Really,” he tightened his grip on my hand. "I've already done collecting all the souls and memories I lost before so I'm done with my punishment." She stood up, held out her hand to me with a smile. "C'mon, let's go ride the coaster."

I stared at her and shook my head. I get it now. "No, you are lying."

“Angels don’t lie,” she pouted just like before though I already know what’s behind that.

"Yes, angels don't lie but it doesn't mean they are not capable of lying." I faced her.

“What are you saying? Let's go— “

“You are not yet done collecting the soul and memories you’ve lost before. Aren’t you?” I smiled.

“I am already done. Why do you still know me?” She faked a laugh.

“Really,” I stood up. "How come I am still breathing then?"