Chapter 78: Chapter 78

Van went back to the party only to inform Ash that she wanted to go home.

"Okay." Ash didn't argue. It was like he just knew something was off but she was grateful he didn't pry. "I'll take you home if you want."

"No you can stay and enjoy the party I'll just ask the chauffeur to take me."

He shook his head vehemently. "I'm not letting you go home alone, not in your delicate condition. Besides, it's a boring party with business associates I see and converse with everyday."

Van knew she couldn't argue further. "Okay let's go."

Ash shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. "So you don't catch a cold."

Van smiled appreciatively. "Thanks."

His gut twisted.

What delicate situation were they talking about? Was Van gravely ill? Jake was in time to catch bits and pieces of their conversation. He was seething when Ash's hands went around her shoulders, it should be him doing all that for her, it should be his jacket around her and it most definitely should be his hand at the small of her back he was her husband for God's sakes. He called and asked the valet to bring his car around. There was no use of him being here when Van wasn't.

The ride home was silent. Ash didn't pry as he sat beside her while she stared out the the car window he'd called grandfather to tell him that they were both going home early and the old man seemed to not have any qualms about it.

"Would you like some icecream, we could stop over an icecream palour on the way." Ash suggested.

"No. Let's just go straight home."

Van didn't feel like doing anything at all. The night was young and beautiful, she'd never seen so much stars in one night before and a night out would be great or even just a walk but she just wasn't feeling it. Damn Jake Calloway for showing up the way he did, or was it the baby?

Subconsciously, her hand went to her still flat tummy. Does she have what it takes to be a good mother? She knew she wouldn't be alone, there was grandmother, Karl, and even Ash… and then there's Jake her baby's father, was she ready to forgive him even when his betrayal was still fresh in her mind like it happened yesterday?

She was still so madly in love with him heaven knows but could she trust him with her heart again? Will her baby get mad at her for keeping him away from his father?

Van stared at the city zooming past not quite seeing. She also had no idea that Ash had been watching her the whole time, watching the worry and uncertainty on her face doing everything he could to keep himself from reaching for her to assure her that everything was going to be okay.

She rushed upstairs once they got home before her grandmother had the chance to tell her she had a guest.

Chapter eighty

Van shut the door to her bedroom behind her with a soft click and sighed, suddenly feeling bone tired.

"Van." a familiar voice called out then a soft hand was reaching for her.

Van found the switch beside the door and light flooded the room. Van found herself staring into the caring eyes of her best friend.

"Rella, how..?"

"I missed you." Rella said. "I wanted to see you, to see how you're doing."

Van embraced her friend tightly and that's when the dam opened. Van wasn't the overly emotional type, she'd never cried so hard even when her father died. She clung unto her best friend for what seemed like hours until the sob became soft whimpers.

It must be the baby Van thought miserably she read somewhere that being pregnant makes one emotional, irrational and irritable to say the least. She groaned when she realised she still has a few more months of this rollercoaster ride.

"I met him tonight." She said quietly and Rella understood who she was talking about. Rella waited for her to elaborate but when she didn't she simply took her hand.

"You can overcome this." Rella assured her.

Van shook her head quickly, "no, I don't think I can."

Rella frowned. "You're not the Van I know. The Van I know always comes back up when life knocks her down, you've always been my pillar of strength during the darkest moments of my life. "

"I'm not that girl anymore, she ceased to exist months ago.

"No that's not true, I know she's still in there you just have to bring her out."

"I'm tired Rella, i'm tired of all the heart ache I just want to be happy." And then in a single breath she told her friend everything that happened. "And the worse part of it is that I still love him and I know he loves me too but I can't bring myself to forgive him for all he's done."

For the first time in the long time they'd been friends Rella didn't know what advice to give to her friend she herself was in a mountain load of quagmire with no idea how to get herself out.

"Look friend I may not be in the best position to give you advice but I would say that to get past this you'll have to forgive yourself first, allow yourself to heal only then can you forgive wholeheartedly remember it's not just you anymore."

Rella was right, it's not just her anymore which is why this was hard for her. Silence ensued as she mulled over her situation, she could go on and on about how miserable she was but she wasn't so insensitive towards her friend because she knew without a doubt that Rella must be slowly crumbling inside.

"alright spit it out. " She said at last.

" What are you talking about? "

" Oh come on, I know you didn't come all the way out here just to chitchat. "

Rella sighed knowing she'd been caught. There's no point in hiding it from Van when she knew how the story began and so she took a deep breath and said. " I've decided to tell Stefan the truth about who I am."