Chapter 195: Chapter 195

Shulva spoke as she picked up the catalog.

“It makes my advice sound pointless, doesn’t it? I told you spending money every time you missed Lady Rosie would at least fill the momentary emptiness.”

A rare flicker of sympathy passed through her eyes.

“But you’re spending money every night.”

“But no matter how much you spend, you don’t seem happy...”

“Of course not. Rosie’s not here.”

Zahid murmured with his chin resting on his hand.

“Come to think of it, the last time I was happy... was probably just before Rosie and I were separated.”

“You mean right before the engagement was broken at the banquet?”

A faint, forlorn smile spread across Zahid’s face.

“I figured I’d just let time pass , become an adult, and somehow end up getting married.”

His calm voice echoed low through the quiet study of the duchy.

“Just like the countless Dyfenril ancestors who lived in this duchy, I’d marry when the time came, have children, raise them with love...”

In a way, there was nothing special about it. It was the kind of future any noble heir with a fiancée might expect.

“I thought that kind of future would come naturally, and that thought itself... felt really happy.”

“Now I have to work myself to death to make that future happen, but imagining it... that’s about the only thing that makes me happy these days.”

Shulva conveyed her sorrow with silence.

A while later, they exchanged a dry goodnight and parted ways.

Zahid gazed out the window late into the night.

His eyes lingered long on the back garden, designed to look just like the rose garden they always used to meet at in the Academy.

Perhaps he hadn’t made the pipe yet, for he slowly sipped a cup of sedative and muttered low.

His eyes wandered through the past as he fiddled with the two rings.

“...I miss you so much.”

By now it had become so familiar, it felt completely ordinary—this daily routine of waiting.

I opened my eyes with a jolt, having lost consciousness.

As soon as I came to, I sat up abruptly—and a low voice spoke.

Tears welled up instantly.

That playful voice continued.

“Then how about getting off me? I’ve been holding back for a while and it’s getting really tough.”

Zahid was practically pinned beneath me.

I looked down at him in disbelief.

His messy black hair, that slightly pale, even more sculpted face, and those deep violet eyes smiling up at me from below.

The shared warmth of our bodies was undeniably real.

I murmured in a trembling voice.

“You’re... alive, right? You are, aren’t you?”

Then, just in case he spouted nonsense, I immediately warned him.

“If you dare say crap like ‘Why did you save me’ or ‘Why did you interfere,’ I won’t let it slide. I’ve already heard that line three times since becoming the Divine Beast’s master. If you say it too, I’ll be seriously disappointed.”

At my threat, Zahid let out a faint, speechless laugh.

First, I pounded his solid chest with my fist.

“Are you out of your mind? No matter how insanely in love you are with me, what made you think I wanted this, huh?”

Of course, it didn’t seem to hurt him at all, but I still hit him a couple more times.

“How could you? How could you do that? Huh? How could you... how could you leave me...”

I gasped for breath, bursting with irritation.

“How could you leave me behind and dare say you’d become a dog! That’s the second most ridiculous dream I’ve ever heard!”

“Woof woof! Woof woof!”

“...Did you really have to use that expression right now, Rosie?”

Zahid, who had just quietly taken the hits while watching me, spoke in a hoarse voice.

“There’s a perfectly fine, normal phrase like ‘lose one’s life,’ you know.”

Still curious despite everything, he frowned and asked,

“But what’s the number one most ridiculous dream?”

“My brother... said he wanted to be the Commander of the Holy Knights when he was little.”

“I found out when he’d lost his memory and didn’t know anything. Judging from how desperately he hid it before that, he must’ve known it was ridiculous himself.”

As we talked, I felt too embarrassed to stay angry, so I stopped punching him.

“Anyway, I’ll get up now. It’s not like you feel a thing even if I hit you a hundred times—it’s not efficient...”

Just as I remembered his earlier words asking me to get off, I started to move—when he wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered,

“Ah, wait. You don’t have to get up.”

“If you want to make me suffer, I think this is more in line with your goal.”

“Now that I think about it, there’s no real reason for me to hold back...”

The distance between us closed in an instant.

“Should I show you how well I’m alive while I’m at it?”

At the mischievous yet unmistakably desirous tone in his voice, my face flushed bright red.

“Let go of me first.”

I said as I tried to push away Zahid’s arm wrapped around my waist.

“I look like a mess right now... I’m drenched in sweat and covered in dirt from crawling up here...”

“You look beautiful.”

Instead of letting go, Zahid pulled me in tighter and kissed near my ear.

His warm breath tickled, and I squirmed as I ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) asked,

“...Since when have you been conscious?”

Zahid stared straight at me and said,

“From the moment you said you loved me. That’s when my consciousness fully separated from Fire.”

I let out a deep sigh and slumped my shoulders. The fact that I had confessed like that... made me feel a bit embarrassed and defeated.

When I closed my eyes and made a distressed expression, Zahid whispered,

“Good. Raise your hands and repent.”

Somehow our legs had gotten tangled, so I untangled them and gently kicked his calf as I said,

“You said you were loyal, didn’t you? Is this your idea of loyalty? How dare you die without anyone’s permission? Insolent!”

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that too. And... a lot of other things, actually.”

“Other things? I honestly can’t think of much else right now, but if there is, you better tell me everything.”

As I pouted, Zahid hesitated slightly and said,

“...For making you remember everything alone all this time.”

I suddenly couldn’t breathe.

I froze and looked into his eyes.

“While merging with Fire... the memories mixed.”

They said that awakening a Divine Beast involved a process of merging with each other.

Fire had remembered me even after regression.

That meant he carried the memory of being imprisoned with me in the previous timeline. And Zahid had received all of it.

I muttered in disbelief, and he smiled gently.

“That bastard told me not to come find him... that it was enough if you were happy...”

At those words, tears that I thought had stopped began to fall again.

Until now, that had been a memory only I held. A memory I never shared with anyone. But now, it had come from Zahid’s lips, and finally felt real.

“So why did you come back just to be humiliated by that arrogant brat?”

The Zahid I remembered overlapped with the one before me—the one I had promised myself I’d forget.

My tears kept falling onto the face beneath me. He raised his large hand and gently wiped my cheek.

“Still... thank you.”

And then I started sobbing again, “Hic, hic.”

It didn’t feel like tears of the moment. It was as if years of bottled-up sorrow were finally pouring out.

“I was really happy, Rosie.”

“I got to have tea with you under clear skies, attend the Academy with you, and dance with you for the first time.”

Zahid whispered softly as he patted me gently.

“While I was happily ignorant... you worked so hard to keep our old promise alone...”

One of the wishes I had desperately made every birthday had finally come true.

Please, please let him remember me.

I had always complained about how lonely it was having memories only to myself.

And now, after I had finally vowed to forget the him from my memories... a miracle had happened.