Chapter 37: Chapter 37

MY LIFE

ANGELA’S POV

After my first date with Caleb, I felt alive again; I wanted to live.

I resolved to pay a visit to my doctor, after the last visit almost 6 months ago; I had given up and waited upon my final hours.

However, I didn’t want to give up without a fight. According to my doctor, I was in my last stage and could go into a coma at any time without warning. A change of diet had been recommended by my nutritionists and I was placed on a keto diet.

“The diet would stall the disease from spreading fast and buy you further time.” The expression of sympathy on his face broke my heart more than the illness. I loathed being vulnerable to anyone or anything.

The disease was ravaging my body, and I had fought at the beginning but gave up, it was the only thing that I had succumbed to. But now, I wanted to live, for myself; maybe for the fire rekindling in my heart when Caleb showed up.

The dreaded day came sooner than I hoped for. I made my way through the long hallway of St. Mary’s hospital. I avoided making eye contact with anyone because most times the eyes that stared back were gloomy and filled with sorrow. The doctors and nurses shuttled by as they went about their duty, as bearers of both good and bad news.

I made my way toward my doctor, who was already waiting for me. It felt as though my heart would jump out of my body, but I maintained a strong front. Breaking down was not my style, and I did not intend to start now.

“Welcome Ms. Angela, it’s been a while.” Dr. Alfred smiled at me.

“Yes, indeed.” If only he knew how I dreaded and wished this visit could be avoided, but I smiled back and took the seat he offered.

“How are you doing?” he said, his eyes shimmered with warmth. Dr. Alfred had been my doctor since I was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor

FLASHBACK………..

It had started with headaches and dizzy spells which I attributed to caffeine and cut back on coffee and some fizzy drinks, then I started feeling nauseous and had a seizure at home, thankfully, my boyfriend at the time was with me when it happened and took me to the hospital where I was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme.

According to my doctor, it was incurable and 95% of patients died within five years. The news devastated me and as if that was not enough, my boyfriend jilted me because he could not halt his life for my sake as I became very sick and relied heavily on him.

Left alone to my grief, I had no choice but to place my life on hold. No relatives to run to, as I had cut them off a long time ago.

In my solitude, I began to reflect on my choices and lack of communication between me and my parents, it was after I graduated from high school that I joined a band that went on tours weekly sometimes twice a week, but my parents objected to my choices and the lifestyle I started living, the smoking, the heroine and I also became sexually active with different partners.

When they did not tolerate my lack of respect for them and my unruliness they gave me a choice.

“Angela.” my father called as I stormed past the living room after returning from a tour that we stayed for almost a month. I had also quit school too, I insisted that I did not want to get a degree.

“What ‘’ I stopped and turned towards my parents, they were both sitting on our faded brown couch and holding hands. They always did this when they made a tough decision and wanted to draw support from one another.

At first, I became concerned and worried but I shrugged off my worries and went to take a seat opposite them.

“We are deeply worried about your life choices, the late nights, the drugs, the…..” they couldn’t bring themselves to say the sex, they were too conservative.

“It’s my life so I decide how to live it,’’ I replied. I saw concern flash through my mother’s face but I was less concerned.

“Our house, our rules.” father shouted

“I’m eighteen already, so I have the right to make my choices.”

“Not while under my roof.” my father’s eyes blazed in anger.

“Then I will leave,” I shouted. I was beyond reasoning and also I wanted to be free from their control and prying eyes.

“It has not come to that point, Angela.” mother made her first comment, she looked strained but I didn’t care.

I dashed to the room and started packing my stuff into my briefcase, I ensured I took everything and when I was through I dragged my bags downstairs and was surprised to meet my mother at the door waiting.

I stopped and waited, I knew she had something to say.

“You have always being a rebellious child Angela, I knew a day would come when you would decide to leave this nest.’’ She stopped and stroked my hair like she did when I was a child.

Her soft words broke my heart but I had made up my mind to leave and I hated going back on my decision.

“I’m surprised you stayed with us this long.” mother said and I jerked my head up in surprise. Making mother laugh.

“Take this, it will sustain you for a while. Blurry-eyed I hugged my mother and left immediately so I won’t change my mind.

I stayed with the band for a year and some months, going on tours, till we stopped getting gigs which brought a lot of frustration and fights. After a member had an overdose we disbanded and I went to work as a waitress where I made a lot of money on tips from customers.

A day came when some group of university students came to the restaurant and I had to wait on them. I felt nostalgic and remembered my father’s wish for me to go to school.

They frequented the restaurant more often and I always ended up serving them. With time, we became acquainted, and I started asking them questions about the university and its courses. It turned out the university was a few kilometers from where I worked and they offered night classes too for part-time students.

With their encouragement, I enrolled in university because I had some savings with me. It wasn’t easy combining work with the school but with the help of my new friends and my manager at work, I was able to graduate with a second-class upper.

I still had not made peace with my parents and it was almost six years since we made contact, filled with youthful exuberance and still stubborn, I continued with life. I left the restaurant and got a job at a real estate company in Florida where I was made a marketer.

I was promoted to assisted senior manager after working for just six months with them. The job was tedious but fun. I climbed the social ladder and made friends with affluent and wealthy people.

I was invited to parties, weddings, and social gatherings and that was where I met Mark and we started dating. It was fun till I fell sick and was given some years to live. The rest is history, he left me some weeks after my diagnosis because he was too young to take care of the dying, according to him.

******************

I made up my mind to visit my parents, and whatever the outcome of the visit I would accept it in good faith. The journey to my parent’s house began. I had to resign from my present work so I could take care of my failing health, placed the flat I stayed in for sale, and traveled down to new-york.

I stayed at a hotel for two days before I summoned up the courage to visit my parents. I took a taxi from the hotel. I was a bundle of nerves but looked calm outwardly. When we arrived, the driver helped me bring out my bags, I paid him and he left me all alone to my fate.

Just then the door of our house opened and my mother came rushing towards us, my heart sank to the pit of my stomach as I could not fathom what she would do to me. Just then my father came out too, he looked older than the last time I saw him.

The next thought that came to my mind was RUN.

PRESENT DAY………..

I smiled as the memories flooded back, gaining me a weird look from my doctor.

“Do you have any complaints?” The doctor asked after he did not get any reply from me earlier.

“Not really, I just want another round of tests. Maybe if there is hope for me.

“Okay, I can do that for you, but don’t get your hopes too high.” my doctor said

I shook my head in agreement, keeping my fingers crossed for good news.