Chapter 76: Chapter 76

However, in the end, the only one who came out of that situation with regret was him, naively believing that Suzan and Liam would simply break that news discreetly to Missy and then simply walk out of her life; naively not realizing that someone like Foster certainly wouldn't take orders like that and would take advantage of the situation to hurt Missy even more. In fact, it had even taken him a while to understand why she would risk her own job by doing that, when it was clear that he was trying to protect Missy: perhaps because he believed that he would not risk firing her for something that had nothing to do with with the agency; perhaps because he knew that Missy was too noble to accept his dismissing them without cause; or perhaps, as he realized later, she had been so offended by the realization that she would never have him, and that she would have to settle for Liam's mediocrity, that she had done all that just to feel that she had emerged victorious from this situation, through Missy's suffering. Perhaps the most important thing for her was never the job, but the feeling of being superior to them all.

It was almost agonizing to remember how delusional he had been on the day of that damned party, having kept his ears open all morning to see if Foster had kept his promise or not. But as the hours passed miserably and Foster blithely ignored all of his attempts to collect, he realized that something was wrong. And so, as he had already done several times, he created some problem on his computer, just to try to find out if Missy already knew the whole truth... And, obviously, also quench his thirst to see her face: her sweetest torture. Having her right there, close to him, with her sweet smell, her bright smile and her irresistible body, within reach of his hands...

But unlike any other time, that day he hadn't turned away from her, enjoying himself of the sweet burn of desire and love inside him as he finally allowed himself to speak to her in the cordial way he'd always wanted to, looking deep into those chocolate-brown eyes and allowing a tiny part of his feelings for her - at least enough to not scare her – it showed in her smile, her words, her posture... Until she let slip that she was still going to Liam Newton's mother's leech party that night. Which made it abundantly clear that she still didn't even know the beginning of the truth.

Fury was still making his blood boil when Foster walked into his office just moments after Missy left, wearing the most cynical expression he had ever seen.

- So I take it you've opted out, Foster? - he had snarled coldly at her, being pleased to see the calm in her face falter a little.

- In my defense, I could have told her everything by now, but you spent the day calling me here, so I thought I should satisfy you first. After all, I'm sure the two of us could resolve this whole situation in a way that didn't involve Sutton... A much more pleasurable way... - She smiled seductively, leaning on one of the chairs in front of her desk, apparently intending to show him her cleavage, though Logan had immediately looked away, too preoccupied with putting his finger on the intercom button.

"I'll let Simon know you and Newton will need contract cancellation papers."

- All right, wait. - Suzan growled, frustrated - Let's tell her later tonight, at her mother-in-law's party. Just be patient, okay? She had rolled her eyes, irritated.

“I made it very clear that you shouldn't test me, Foster. I'm giving you and Newton a chance to do something decent for the first time in your life while keeping your jobs. So remember that at any moment I myself can tell Missy the whole truth and kick you out in the street a second later. - he narrowed his eyes at her, distorting the truth enough that she wouldn't even dream of the fact that he was afraid to do it himself - So you better take your last chance and make sure Missy finds out about the betrayal of you two tonight, or I swear I'll make you and Newton wish you were never born.

- Oh, come on, Logan... - she walked around his desk, sneaking up on him - Why don't we forget about that sly one for a few hours and I'll show you a much better reason for you to keep me at work. ..? - Putting her hands on his shoulders, she made a move to sit on his lap, but Logan immediately threw the chair back, getting up, which made her unbalance and almost fall.

- If I hear you offending Melissa again, then there won't be a deal in the world that will save your job, understand? - he had snarled at her, staring at her with disgust - And the same will happen if you insist on continuing to call me by my first name or behaving that way. The only things I want from you is for you to stay away from me and tell Missy the whole truth. Are we clear, Foster? -he snarled her last name with contempt, making her tense even more, looking offended and furious with her rejection.

- Oh, don't worry, Mr. Knight… - she said slowly, in an obviously venomous tone – I promise that tonight our dear Melissa won't have any more doubts about what happens between her boyfriend and me.

- I would really keep that promise if I were you, Foster. Because I'm going to be at that party to make sure you do it...or suffer the consequences of trying to trick me again. - he solemnly guaranteed, before turning his back on her - Now you can leave.

And so, just a few hours later, he'd dragged himself to that ridiculous party that night, after texting Liam and Suzan again, threatening to send out his resignation papers the next morning if they didn't hurry up and do his bidding. . From then on, it seemed that every second of that night had been millimetrically planned to push him to the limit, from the unbearable presence of Lauren Newton, who seemed to be trying to get everyone's social position there by osmosis, to Foster's sly look, who seemed to be challenging him to do something, while also seeming to be up to something.

If only he had imagined...

That whole environment in a short time became so suffocating that he fled to the garden, remaining there, imagining everything he could do to force those two idiots to finally reveal the truth... When it appeared. Her love. Looking so disoriented and sad that, for a short moment, he believed she'd finally found out about everything. And, for an even shorter moment, after finally apologizing for the the way he had treated her, he had come to fantasize about what their future could be like. Especially after she told him, in the sweetest and most generous way possible, that she forgave him and that they could be friends from that moment on... Until he found out that they weren't even out of square one. And, worse, Newton had the audacity to ask Missy to marry him.

Would that idiot ever find out how many times he'd come close to death just by being near him?

Not that it was really relevant. It wasn't relevant now and it hadn't been relevant that day, so long ago, when Megan's angry scream had pierced everyone's eardrums. If only he had thought a second time before sending all that stuff to Suzan... If he had protected Missy better... If he had just assumed his love for her from the beginning instead of pushing her away... If he had done absolutely anything to stop that moment... Then Missy would not have been destroyed like that, when that terrible video started playing, in the middle of all those people... Terrible evidence that he had made the worst mistake of his life, helping to break the heart of the woman he loved.

What did it matter that he hadn't meant to? What did it matter that he had never imagined that Suzan would be capable of doing something so grotesque? Because, in the end, when he saw the horror and desolation on Missy's face as everyone turned to look at her, as if she were a circus attraction or something, he knew that none of the justifications he could try to come up with mattered. . Missy was the only thing that mattered. And she was completely destroyed inside, thanks to him.

He would be lying if he said that he fully fulfilled the promise he made to his wife years ago that he would forgive himself. In part, he had succeeded, but the truth was that maybe there would always be a part of his mind that would dwell on his guilt on that horrible night. However, over the years, he had learned to accept the past and just focus on the present, instead of torturing himself forever - although a part of him still thought he deserved it, for putting Missy through that.

Heavens, the only thing that had held him together in that fateful moment, preventing him from collapsing in sheer horror and regret, was the realization that Missy needed help. Megan was exchanging slaps with Foster, Devon, Diana and Paul were trying to break up the fight and, in one of the most satisfying scenes he had ever seen, Missy had smashed Newton's nose with a punch, preventing his mother from following her out also. Which left her absolutely alone, shaking and sobbing from sheer pain as she ran to her car, as if she were about to break apart. And even though the anguish of guilt was still weighing heavily on her shoulders and the pain of seeing her suffer like this was making his chest bleed, Logan found the strength to do what he should have done from the beginning: protect her. Take care of her. Take her away from those horrible people.

So, like the selfish bastard that he was, he'd made the decision to take her home that night, trying to convince himself that he'd only done it because it was a place where no one would look for her, to upset her further. Not that he found any joy in having her there that day. In fact, that seemed like the worst of all the punishments that fate could give him for having defied him: in the same bed where he had spent countless nights dreaming of having her for himself in every way, Missy was now lying, curled up in a ball, crying as if a part of her had been ripped off. Because of damn Foster. From son of a bitch Newton... And himself.

That's why, that same night, when Missy had finally sunk into an equally tearful and restless sleep, he had taken her hand, the same one that was slightly bruised from hitting Liam, and brought it to his lips, making a silent promise to her that he would do anything to right the wrongs he had caused, no matter what the cost. He would make Suzan and Liam regret humiliating her like that. He would make Missy forget all the things she had heard...

And, as soon as possible, he would tell her the whole truth and face the consequences of her actions. As much as that could cost him everything that was most precious to him: her.

However, that decision did not last long. Like the coward that he was, he had postponed it for the first time the very next morning, when, after spending the night awake, watching over Missy's troubled sleep, he had forced himself to move away from her so that he could make her breakfast. . And, all that was needed was for Missy to walk into that kitchen, looking like she was trying her best to keep herself together and not succumb to sadness, wanting to give up her office just to try to stop Newton and Foster from hurting her even more, arguing that she couldn't allow him to fire them because she wasn't vindictive... That the only good thing he'd done in the midst of that whole situation had come: that sudden revenge plan that had formed in his mind at the speed of a heartbeat.

A way to hit Liam and Suzan in their egos where it would hurt the most. A way to keep those two bastards close and figure out how he could make them suffer for what they'd done. A way to do your best to heal Missy's completely destroyed self-esteem...

A way to finally be with the woman he loved, as he had been dreaming of for months.

She was selfish. It was malicious. It was a plan full of ulterior motives. Damn, it was even a new lie, as he wasn't being completely truthful with Missy that her main motivation was just to help her get revenge. Yet he had impulsively proposed it to her, letting himself think only with his heart for the first time in his life.

And, as if his heart thought the situation wasn't already complicated enough, he had given in to the impulse to confess his physical desire for her and kiss her for the first time right there, in the middle of her kitchen, even though he knew perfectly well that that it was far from the right time for them to share that kind of intimacy. Still, none of those conflicting emotions had been able to erase the emotion of that moment, when he finally knew the sweet taste of her lips and the softness of the curves of her delicious body, feeling a powerful wave of emotion and contentment run through him as he realized that she wanted him too. Damn it, with his mind as completely blank as it was in that sublime moment, he probably would have done the madness of laying them on the kitchen floor, if his brothers hadn't arrived sooner.

Not that his love for Missy hadn't come back to dominate him at many other times. In fact, he had been slowly taking care of him in a way that Logan had never thought possible. If before, in those almost two years of pure longing, he thought he knew the power of her feelings, it was because he still didn't know the indescribable joy of having her by his side. The feeling of pleasure and completeness: as if a part of him that he had never known was missing had finally snapped back together. That was when she accepted his revenge plan, sealing their fate forever, even if neither of them knew it at the time. It had been like that that very day, when, for the first time, he had called her love – that word that had a unique meaning for his family and that, in the past, he had promised himself never to use with anyone. It had been like this when they had gone out for the first time and he had finally had the chance not only to hand her that bouquet as he had always dreamed of, but also to start that unique emotional connection that the two of them had and that had not stopped deepening for a single minute, in those past 6 years.

And that was especially so when they had made love for the first time. He had already heard his brothers and his father talk about how the first night with his soulmate was something indescribable and even transformative, but, as he had always done during his youth, he had just dismissed it all, thinking it was nothing more than a big deal. overkill. After meeting Missy, of course, his burning fantasies about her had begun to prove to him, while gradually driving him insane, that he was wrong. But even so, nothing could have prepared him for the magnitude of what happened between the two that night.

Of course, it also had a lot to do with the burning desire between the two of them and the fact that every inch of Missy's body would seem to have been made just to arouse him and push him to the limits of pleasure. But it was infinitely more than that. It was proof that everything he'd scoffed at his entire life was true: soul mates did exist, and heavens, there was no denying that Missy was his. And that realization had been so intense and powerful that, in the height of his orgasm and his love for her, he had even cried out that he loved her, even though Missy was too immersed in the pleasure of the moment to notice.

And it was that very night that, for the first time, he had allowed himself to admit that maybe he wasn't strong enough to tell her the truth and lose her. It was shameful and terribly selfish, but unfortunately it was true.

A truth so profound that it accompanied him for all those 03 months that he had spent beside her in his “revenge” plan, keeping the truth choked in his throat, sinking inside him with each new little gesture from Missy that made him feel fall in love with her even more. A new, each hot moment inside her, each new game night they had fun together, each new moment he took just to admire how much he loved her was wonderful, with each new confession they made to each other about their pasts and their fears, with each day that her trust in him grew, with each new little achievement Missy made to overcome what they had done to her and to learn to loving yourself... Every time she thanked him for what he was doing for her, the guilt hit him, harder and harder. But not even that had been able to make him brave enough to admit his mistake.

It was as if he had built a stone castle on top of a mound of sand. The slightest mistake and Logan feared that maybe everything they'd shared up to that point—including the love he'd hoped she could still feel for him—would be lost forever. And like the coward that he was, that was too big a risk for him. So he continued to postpone this moment, telling himself that he would wait until he was sure that she might be able to understand his side. Until he was sure she didn't just see him as a friend. Until he had any sign that there was hope that she wouldn't hate him forever if he revealed her mistake.

Perhaps worst of all, many times, having her by his side, it was even easy for him to forget that there was that invisible threat looming over them. Loving Missy was like wildfire. A mass of flames that he gladly allowed to consume him completely. She made him happy in ways he never thought possible, like the day she returned his grandfather's last gift to him, a treasure he thought he could never get back - and which ended up culminating in another day when he declared himself to her. without even noticing. There was usually no time for anything else on his mind but her. Not even work, which for years had been the sole focus of his life and efforts. But still, the guilt still found its way to him, eating him painfully bit by bit, bite after bite, as he kept silent.

However, after that magical night when they had declared themselves to each other under the stars, he had felt as if his world had transformed into a completely perfect, almost unshakable place. And for a moment, he even considered telling Missy the whole truth, hoping that the love they shared might be stronger than his mistake...

Until Suzan decided to blackmail him.

The two had lived a silent war over all these months, especially after he had come to hate her with all his might for what she had done to the woman he loved and, at the same time, Suzan had discovered that he had feelings for Missy: as a way of executing his own revenge and still respecting Missy's decision not to fire either of them, he began to make them lose space within the agency. Which resulted in Foster, completely possessed not only because he was sabotaging her, but also because he had obviously rejected her because he was in love with Missy, starting to threaten to tell Missy the whole truth, guessing that she most likely didn't know about the involvement indirection he had had that terrible night. And then he'd threatened not only to fire her, but also to make sure her modeling career was ruined forever - a vicious cycle that kept repeating itself over and over again as this impasse between them became ever more serious. more unsustainable, to the point where he knew he couldn't control it forever. Or keep Foster from revealing her secret forever. But still he had tried, like a fool.

And, like a fool, he had chosen to fire Foster and Newton when the opportunity for good cause presented itself, thinking that this way he could be completely assured that he was keeping them out of his agency and his and Missy's lives. However, if he had had the slightest bit of integrity, that should have been the ideal time to reveal everything to Missy, not only to prevent Suzan from carrying out his threat, but also to honor the love and trust that the woman he loved had in him. But, as ever a coward, he hadn't. On the contrary, he had just allowed his love and joy to continue guiding her actions, asking her to marry him and immediately starting preparations, as if there was nothing in the world for him to worry about.

Now, just the mere memory that he'd actually considered marrying Missy while he was still lying to her made his stomach churn with sheer self-loathing.

In the end, it wasn't her fateful encounter with Foster that day at the agency that almost killed the love she felt for him all those years ago. Much less the fact that she had ended up hearing him confess his mistakes in the worst possible way. Out himself. Him and her many mistakes: from ignoring her for a whole year, to participating unintentionally having the worst night of Missy's life and then hiding it from her, breaking the trust she had in him. Even all these years later, it still hurt to remember how he had been the one to blame. Just as Megan had warned him, that sunny afternoon when she'd read him the tarot, predicting how his excess of fear could end up causing him to lose the most important thing he'd ever had in his life... Making him become a empty man, as his grandfather had once been.

The difference was that, while Tristan had lived that miserable existence without any guilt, Logan had been the only one to blame for those 3 days he had spent without her, feeling as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest, with the certainty that he and his mistakes had made the woman he loved hate him forever.

But, as usual, Missy had been infinitely more compassionate and kind than he deserved. As always, she had saved him. She had saved him from his fears, from the suffering he hadn't realized he had been keeping inside himself since his grandfather's death, from loneliness, from an empty and miserable life without her... She had saved him from himself. She had saved him with her love. And she'd given him a vote of confidence, which he certainly didn't deserve after all he'd done, so that he could regain her trust and fully become the man she deserved.

If it weren't for Missy, those last wonderful years, building that precious family, would have been nothing but darkness, while he would still be that dead man inside without her.

- Lost in the moon world, Daddy?

Missy's affectionate laugh woke him up from his long trip to the past, making him realize that certainly a lot of time had passed, since the sun was in a different place than the sky and Gwyneth and Hope were completely asleep in his lap , while Jonathan and Tristan played and swam around the huge pool, their skin as wrinkled as a raisin.

- Damn, is your meeting over already? - he asked her, surprised, getting up from the deckchair, with his daughters still in his arms, so he could kiss her - Sorry, love, I didn't realize how long we stayed here.

- I perceived. - Missy laughed - But I'm relieved that you five are fine. I was worried when I got to the room and found no one. - taking Hope in her arms, she looked at him with curiosity - But, what made you so distracted?

- A ghost of Christmas past. - several of them actually, but Logan didn't add that comment as he continued to explain, realizing that Missy had become even more confused – Newton and Foster are here at the hotel, too. – he added cautiously, with a sigh.

- Liam and Suzan? - Missy choked, stunned.

- Yes, unfortunately. He is one of the employees at the hotel and she is apparently here because she has become the mistress of a rich man. - Logan rolled his eyes full of contempt - A man who, by the way, was in the same meeting as you, apparently. - he shrugged, while Missy blinked a few times, still shocked.

- Heavens... I confess that of all the things I thought could happen when we were invited to visit the United Arab Emirates, this was the last of them. - to his total relief, Missy given a breathless laugh, not seeming very affected by that surprise – But, it doesn't matter if they're here, does it? They belong to the past. -She stated with quiet determination, before reaching out a hand to caress his face, with a worried smile – And I think I can imagine where in the past her mind was. Are you OK love?

- Yes, do not worry. -He pulled her hand to be able to kiss her palm lovingly – A little irritated to have to see their faces after so long, but, you're right. Neither they, nor the memories they bring, matter anymore. - Logan pulled her into a new kiss, making the girls twist a little in their arms, even though they were still asleep – Now, let's talk about what really matters: how was your meeting?

- It was great. - Missy smiled, happy - Everyone was very attentive and we talked about amazing projects. I think the only bad thing is that I know they're going to keep trying to talk me into one of them at the party tonight. - she sighed - I hope that with time they will understand that the last software gave me a lot of work and that I just want to rest before starting another project.

- I'm sure they will. But I can't guarantee anything about the tears they're sure to shed when they realize they won't be able to rely on your brilliant mind for a while. - Logan leaned down to kiss her forehead, making Missy laugh, which finally woke little Gwyneth, who jumped into her father's arms as soon as she realized her mother was there.

- Mommy! - their little daughter celebrated - Did you come to play in the pool with us?

- Sorry dear. This will have to stay for tomorrow. - caressing her daughter's hair, Missy smiled lovingly - I just came to get you to our room. You and your brothers still have to shower, eat dinner, and listen to your bedtime story before Dad and I go out tonight. What story do you want to hear? - With a secret smile, Logan saw his wife, already anticipating a sly cry coming from her daughter, quickly divert the subject to something else, giving Gwyneth the possibility to make a decision alone, something she loved.

- I'll get the boys. - Putting Gwyneth down and watching how she immediately went to hug one of Missy's ankles, to continue talking, Logan couldn't stop himself from opening a dreamy smile as he watched his family.

His wife was right: here in the hotel or anywhere else in the world, Foster and Newton simply didn't matter anymore.