Chapter 40: Chapter 40

- So you're going to visit all these places so you can make travel vlogs? – Missy asked, completely delighted, as Megan grinned, placing the empty popcorn bucket on the table and sweeping the crumbs out of her pajamas.

- I know, I was also incredibly excited about this idea. Especially when I told Logan and he agreed. I love my husband dearly, but he always agrees with everything I say without even analyzing the circumstances first. – Megan laughed, which Missy followed, knowing it was true – Her man, on the other hand, knows how to be a little more sincere and rational. Well, actually he's like that all the time, except when it comes to you... - Megan pondered, analyzing her sister carefully, which made Missy blush.

- I'm glad you're about to start such a wonderful project. Missy smiled shyly, although Megan kept her eyes fixed on her expression.

- Yes… – Megan replied quickly, as she straightened up on the sofa – But, moving on to a subject that really matters… How are things between you and Logan? Her sister leaned toward her, almost as if she wanted to be close enough to analyze every little change in her expression.

- Uh, hmmm... – Missy swallowed, shifting uncomfortably – In what sense do you mean?

- What other meaning can there be? – Megan raised an eyebrow skeptically – I want to know how evolved your relationship is, obviously.

- Uh... We're fine. – Missy moistened her lips, getting more and more nervous, although she couldn't identify why – I mean, our friendship is getting stronger, it's true, which is just wonderful. I know it's only been a little over a month and a half since we started getting closer, but I don't think I've ever felt as close to someone in my life as I do to him. We have so many things in common and, at the same time, we seem to always discover new and amazing things about each other... Things that make me feel like we are complementing each other... Knowing each other deeply... It's so hard to put this into words, Megan... - Missy smiled dreamily, while looking at the ground - But... He's so smart, fun, understanding and sensitive... Whenever we're together, I feel like he really cares. cares about me and wants to see me happy... And he makes me so happy, sis... Not to mention... I like to think that I make him happy too, especially after we've shared so much with each other... They were secrets and insecurities that I don't think I would ever have the courage to reveal to anyone other than you or Mahara, but with Logan, I know I don't have to fear that he will judge me or try to use that against me someday. I always know he'll help me and try to make me feel good again... - Missy kept counting distractedly, until her gaze found her sister's expression again, which now displayed a mischievous smile.

- Wow, what an intense friendship you two have, right? Megan raised an eyebrow.

- Well... Uh, yeah, I know it's something special. – Missy smiled awkwardly – In fact, many times even the word friendship doesn't seem appropriate, I confess. It's something so wonderful that… – she sighed dreamily – I don't even know what to name it.

-Funny… – her older sister laughed, looking at her sideways – I think it's called love.

For a second, Missy just froze, totally dumbfounded, feeling almost like Megan had just slapped her. Her blood seemed to stop in her veins, her mouth dropped open and her hands went icy, almost dead.

- Wh... What? She gasped, feeling almost as if the air was no longer getting into her lungs.

- Oh, Missy, come on… – Megan laughed, seeming to find her shocked expression quite comical – It's not that hard to see. I appreciate that you're trying to spare me the details, as I'm your older sister, but I know the two of you are much closer than you're letting on. Not that sex is the most important thing when the glint in your eyes is practically blinding me as you talk about him. – She laughed, making Missy choke even more – Do you swear you hadn't even thought about the possibility of you two being in love, even after all that you told me?

That sentence made her hyperventilate even more. It was very lucky that she was already sitting up, as her whole body seemed to falter for a minute, going limp against the cushions.

- Missy? – Megan gasped, surprised – Are you okay?

- II... I... How did that happen? – Missy whimpered, feeling her throat tighten in panic – I… I've never been in love before… I don't know what it's like… Maybe that's not exactly it, is it? I can't really be in love... I...

- Missy, calm down... – Megan held her by the shoulders, looking almost scared – What's the matter? Why are you acting like you're in love with Logan was a death sentence?

- Because that wasn't the plan, Megan! - Missy gasped, in despair - What he and I agreed had nothing to do with love. It-it's a plan... I mean... It was a revenge plan, until we got close, but... But that doesn't mean that...

- Really, Missy? – Her sister raised her eyebrow even more, skeptical – How long did you think you two could go on with this? Honestly, did you ever stop to think that if it was really just a plan between the two of you, it wouldn't be over by now?

- W-we... We talked about it, actually. – Missy admitted, swallowing hard – B-but… But we both agreed that we didn't want to finish what we have yet and…

- Which is? – Megan asked, in a way that didn't sound intrusive, but truly curious – Regardless of whether you wanted to break up tomorrow or next month… If it was just a plan, you'd have to break up at some point, wouldn't you? And then? What would you do?

Speechless, Missy just felt her shoulders slump almost to the point of touching the floor. A small part of her knew perfectly well that the relationship between her and Logan would have to change someday. Fortunately, she was pretty sure they both wanted to remain close friends, but…the sex, the hot nights, the surprise visits to their offices… This would eventually have to come to an end. At some point, getting revenge on Liam and Suzan would stop making sense. Being honest with herself, she didn't do it anymore. Even so, she had relegated that part of her, which had always known that the time for them to part was approaching, to a very restricted part of her mind, solemnly ignoring it, while she clung tooth and nail to whatever little excuse she could find. justified keeping her relationship with Logan exactly as it was right now: physical as well as emotional.

- II... I don't know. I... I just didn't have the courage to think about it because... It hurts. – Missy admitted, shaken. ... I feel so much pain that it feels like my heart has been ripped out of me. As if there was nothing inside my chest but a terrible emptiness. – she described, placing her hand on her chest to try to contain the feeling, which had settled slightly just because she had thought about it.

- Oh, Missy... – Megan smiled sympathetically, hugging her – You're describing exactly the same thing I felt, when I met Devon and I still wasn't sure if I wanted to have something with him. My heart strangely knew that he was the right man for me, but my head had hundreds of doubts about his whole story of love at first sight… – she laughed nostalgically – But then… One day, after much insisting , he finally said he would leave me alone. And I... I panicked. Because I also had no idea of the depth of my feelings, until I thought I was going to lose him forever. – Megan sighed – Sorry if I made it sound like I was judging you for not realizing your feelings until now, sis, because I really am not. After all, we're a lot alike in that. It must be in the Sutton blood to realize they're in love only after one big shock. – Her sister joked softly, before looking at her with a look full of affection – So, from experience, little sister, I just want you to know… That you don't need to be afraid of your feelings. Admitting what you're feeling right away is the best thing you can do for yourself, believe me. There is no reason to deny the undeniable. It's much better to deal with him instead.

Letting her head rest against her sister's chest, Missy silently did what she was told, allowing the feelings that always warmed her chest when she was around Logan to wash over her... And it didn't even take a very long time. to realize that Megan was right, as usual. Of course, she was in love. Everything had been confused in her mind until that moment, as she had never felt that way before. Without a name, she hadn't dared connect the word "love" with the way her whole body reacted when he spoke to her, when he touched her, when he took care of her, when he made her feel like the most special woman in the whole world. world... His heart, however, deep down, had always known. She might not have been able to name what had been dominating her for the past month, but that feeling had always been there, taking root until it became an inseparable part of her. And now, she knew what to call him.

Too bad that didn't help her know what to do next.

- Oh, God… – Missy moaned, with a shaky sigh – I… I really shouldn't have done that… It's going to be much worse this time. Terribly worse...

- Worse? – Megan asked, not understanding – What are you talking about?

- When he leaves me, Megan. - Missy gasped, trying to stop the tears that were gathering in her eyes from spilling - Don't you see? He might even be my best friend and desire me physically, but frankly, do you really think he could fall in love with me? Of course not. – Averting her eyes to the floor, Missy saw Rey approach, with her ears down and whimpering, obviously noticing her sadness – At some point he will fall in love with someone else, or simply decide that he needs to end this physical thing we have, and so... All I'll have left is a broken heart. He won't destroy my self-esteem or humiliate me, like Liam, but… - she pulled Rey onto her lap, who licked a tear from her chin that she didn't even realize she had shed – Having to be his friend, being in love with him and feeling like I've lost him, it's going to leave me... Destroyed. As if my heart had been taken from me forever. she revealed in a desolate sigh.

-Oh, Missy... – To her surprise, Megan laughed softly – You really need to learn to see things more clearly. Not just inside yourself, but also outside, apparently. The man is madly in love with you. Frankly, he doesn't even try to hide it. It's a Knight thing.

- There is?! – Her perplexed voice escaped her throat before she even realized what she was doing – Logan? In love? For me? - Those words seemed so incomprehensible when said together that she felt almost as if she were speaking another language.

- Missy, the man spent two whole years with a frown on his face, until you two started this plan and, suddenly, he can't stop smiling anymore. – Megan stated, in a tone of voice that sounded as if she was telling him that the sky was blue – Logan has been working non-stop since he came out of his mother's womb, but even so he has been leaving early almost every day, to be able to meet like you. He can't take his eyes off you when you're in the same room, and while this isn't my favorite subject, I'm not blind: it's obvious that the two of you can't keep your hands off each other either. - Megan pointed out, with a mocking smile - Believe me, Missy. If there's one thing more certain than the sun rising tomorrow, it's that Logan Knight is irrevocably in love with you.

Perhaps even more flabbergasted than she had been when she first realized she was in love, Missy just nodded weakly, while Rey let out a happy bark and licked her cheek, happily wagging her tail, as if agreeing with Megan. Of course, she had heard other people at the agency, and even her own friends and the Knights, mention that sort of thing, but... Did that really indicate that he had feelings for her? After all, she now knew Logan well enough to know that he wasn't the sullen grunt everyone thought was cold and insensitive. Inside, he was sweet and kind. The only detail is that he was very selective with whom he could see this sweetness and kindness.

Was it possible that he was feeling something for her? Even if it wasn't as intense as what she felt?

That crucial question was still floating in her mind when her cell phone rang on the coffee table next door. Almost as if she were in a trance, she felt her arm reach out to take it, and was startled to realize it was a call from Logan. In the midst of all that stuff that had left her floored, she had completely forgotten that he was going to call at some point. Swallowing hard as she just stared at the device vibrating in her hand, Missy finally answered, trying to keep her tone even, even though she knew it would be difficult, especially as this was the first time she was going to talk to him after realizing that she was in love with him. .

- Hello Love. – he greeted her happily, looking relieved, like a thirsty man who had just drunk a glass of water – Are you okay? How's your night going? – he asked those two questions with a deeply genuine interest, almost as if he was asking something of vital importance.

- Uh... I... I'm fine. she stammered, taken aback by the emotion hearing his voice had generated in her.

Heavens, she really loved that man. More than even she could express in words.

And now? What would she do?

Were those intense emotions in his voice an indication of something? Or was she just wanting to see things where they didn't exist?

- Missy? Are you okay? – he asked, immediately concerned – Your voice sounds shaky, as if you've been crying. Did something happen? Do you want me to go there...?

- Do not worry. – she tried to calm him down – I… Me and Megan were watching a sad movie and… I got emotional, that was all, I swear. – She lied, hoping that he would convince himself and not try to press her anymore, or her throat would let out confessions that she wasn't ready to make yet.

- Oh… – he mused, looking not completely convinced – Are you sure that was all?

- Yes yes. Do not worry about it. And your night? How it was? she asked quickly, desperately wanting to change the subject.

- Everything seems absolutely boring without you around. – he snorted, annoyed – But, my mother just called me. She's having a “lunch special” on Sunday and said I should invite you. – she could literally hear him use quotes in those two words – And, of course, she insisted that I make this request completely ignoring the fact that she always gathers the whole family for Sunday lunches and always invites you. – he laughed – But, what do you think? You know we can do something else if you want...

- And you know I love your family, especially Gwyneth. – she couldn't help smiling fondly – Of course I would love to go.

- I don't know if I'm happy that you love my family so much or sad that my brothers will have one more opportunity to tell you about every single embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life. – Logan laughed even more, before sighing, after a moment of silence – I'm interrupting your night with Megan, am I not? Sorry love. I promised to call just to say good night and here I am, babbling.

-No… It's okay… – she swallowed, uncertain, before continuing – II… I like hearing her voice.

- Me too. - Logan replied, with a light and affectionate sigh... Would she be deluding herself too much by thinking that it was also loving? - It's so strange not having you by my side, after so many nights... It's like something is wrong. he exhaled regretfully.

- Yes, I know how it feels… – she admitted sadly – But… We're going to see each other tomorrow, aren't we?

- As soon as daylight breaks. – His promise made her heart race – Hell, if I know myself well, I'll end up going to her apartment even before then. – after another pause, he sighed again – But, I know you're busy right now. See you soon. – even though she couldn't see him, the obvious smile in his tone left her breathless - Good night, love

-Good night... – she murmured, her heart sinking when she realized that she had to bite her lip to stop herself from completing that sentence with an “I love you”.