Chapter 23: Chapter 23

He had insisted that she put on pajamas, as she had said she liked.

I mean, first he'd complimented her on her dress, told her she looked beautiful, and only then had he suggested it, in case she wanted to get more comfortable. It was somewhat of a tradition to be in your pajamas on Sutton game nights, so Missy had no problem agreeing. At least not until opening the drawers where she kept the hoodies she'd been wearing to sleep lately found them empty. That's when it dawned on her: they were all in the pile of dirty clothes she'd put in the washing machine minutes before she started getting ready for her date with Logan. Which meant she had no choice but to wear her real favorite pajamas, the same ones that were currently piled in the back of her last drawer, so her eyes wouldn't find them so easily.

Because they all had some kind of print or themed figure: Sailor Moon, Disney, Star Wars... There wasn't even one that didn't remind her of her way of being and how... Most people judged her for that. And, as much as she had always tried not to care about it and simply embrace her tastes, ever since that party... Looking at them hurt. It made her skin itch. It made her terribly uncomfortable. She couldn't put them on. What if Logan laughed at her? What if, all of a sudden, he too started to think she was an idiot?

No, she couldn't think like that. He wasn't like that, she knew he wasn't...

But, still... They knew each other so little... Maybe she could just keep wearing the understated dress she was already in and just come up with some excuse...

- Missy? – His voice made her jump in fright, turning quickly to see him entering her room, worried – Sorry, but… You were taking so long to change… – He looked at her carefully-You are well?

- Hmmm… I… – she stammered, desperate for not having realized that she had spent so much time trying to decide what to do – I'm perfectly fine… – nervous, knowing that she would never have the courage to admit to him what she had done. was wrong, Missy opened her bottom drawer and simply picked up the first folded stack she saw, not wanting him to notice that she hadn't chosen anything yet – Sorry for the delay. I'm going to change right now. - She gave a crooked smile, holding the fabric in her hands to prove what she had said.

However, as soon as Logan's eyes strayed there, he opened a satisfied and tremendously sweet smile, before saying - Now yes. Is that you. – he praised.

Confused, she finally looked back at the blind choice she had made and her face flushed deeply. She couldn't really believe that she had shown Logan that outfit, which had always been one of his favorites, the white T-shirt and mint green shorts covered with drawings of cute little pandas. How could that be any more humiliating?

Well, that was certainly an unfortunate question.

- I always wondered how you dressed when you went to bed… - Logan laughed softly, full of affection, surprising her, with his lost gaze still fixed on his pajamas – But I admit it's even more adorable than me could imagine...

- You... Did you imagine what my night clothes were like? she repeated, completely confused.

Logan's eyes immediately flicked to hers, wide as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have, while a faint, almost imperceptible pink colored her cheeks lightly. Swallowing hard, he spoke again, his tone giving the impression that he was apologetic.

- I've always had a vivid imagination when it comes to you… – he smiled awkwardly – Especially after we'd made love.

Blushing deeply, Missy dropped her eyes to the floor as he continued to speak, still looking sheepish, “Well, I'll let you change in peace. – With that, he left the room, leaving her alone again.

Now more shy than ever, Missy wondered what she was supposed to do. For a brief moment, she even considered changing to something minimally simpler, but then Logan would certainly be surprised to see her in another outfit... And that would raise questions she didn't want to answer. Maybe she would be able to spend a night in those fluffy pajamas again without letting bad feelings overwhelm her. After all, she certainly liked him... And there was something so warm and endearing about the way Logan had called her outfit adorable... Not to mention what he'd revealed about fantasizing about her nightwear. He didn't seem disappointed that it wasn't something sexy or provocative. In fact, he looked…almost excited. Delighted.

And it was with a mixture of embarrassment and warmth that she finally gave up thinking and simply put on her little pajamas, quickly assessing how much her legs were exposed by the short shorts, before sighing and heading to the living room again. After all, he had already seen her with far fewer clothes.

And she wished she could see him too, as she walked into the living room and found him sitting comfortably on the couch, now wearing only a pair of pants, his blazer, shirt and shoes already off his body. Licking her lips as she tried to tear her eyes away from his sculpted chest, Missy turned on the television and grabbed her cell phone, opening it to one of the apps quickly, before handing it over to him, bewildered.

- I… I'm going to the kitchen to get some things… – she explained, biting her lip – Why… Don't you choose the movie we're going to see? – and then, like a coward, she bolted for the kitchen, without even giving him a chance to respond.

There was no point in her being that way, but strangely, Missy felt as if she were about to share a very deep intimacy with Logan. Taking into account that they had already slept together, that feeling was completely irrational, but still... The sex between the two, besides being fantastic, for her also had a lot to do with news, with discoveries. But, game nights... They had to do with her family, her childhood, her tastes, her personality... It had to do with showing him a little of her life and the experiences that had formed part of who she was. .

Sharing such a night with him was almost like baring her soul rather than her body. As silly as it sounded, it was how she felt.

Finally, with a huge bucket of popcorn, bowls of ice cream, and a few more goodies she luckily had at home gathered on a tray, Missy shyly walked back into the living room to find Logan swiping his finger across the screen of his cell phone, looking very focused.

- Is there anything you don't eat? she asked worriedly, placing the large tray on the coffee table. She knew models well enough to know that most of them followed very restrictive diets, especially when it came to food like this.

- I don't think there is any kind of food that a Knight doesn't eat. – he joked – My mother used to hide all kinds of goodies we had at home, to prevent me and my brothers from devouring everything in a single afternoon. And considering that you've had several meals with us already, you should know that the situation hasn't improved much. – He laughed and Missy followed him – So, don't worry about me. Now... - he turned his attention to the cell phone screen again, frowning - What would you like to watch...? Death Note, perhaps?

Missy, who had her hand outstretched for some popcorn, froze in place immediately. Completely stunned, she turned back to him, wondering if she'd heard wrong.

- Do you know Death Note? – Logan watched anime? As much as she knew it was an incredible story, she couldn't imagine this important man finding space in his busy schedule to follow up on a story about a notebook that could kill people.

- Well... I confess I didn't know, until a few months ago... - he admitted, smiling, embarrassed - But, one day, some time ago, you went to work with a shirt that had that name on it and I... – Logan scratched the back of his neck – I overheard a bit of the conversation you had with Simon about the plot of the story. You talked about it with such enthusiasm that I... I got curious and wanted to know something that you seemed to like so much. He shrugged, slightly embarrassed.

- And you like it? Missy asked, still shocked. Had he just said that he had watched Death Note on her behalf, or was she just twisting his words and listening to what she wanted to hear? Yes, it certainly was. He was probably just curious about the plot. Only that.

- Of course. – His smile was now huge – I understood perfectly why you love this anime so much. It's a fantastic story. You have great taste. - He praised, making her blush - But maybe I was wrong in that suggestion. It certainly doesn't fit into the "lightweight" category like you said you wanted. – he apologized, continuing to browse the application – Is there anything you would like to watch?

Leaning over his shoulder, she quickly scanned the options he was scrolling through, until her gaze was drawn to one film in particular and, figuring he might appreciate the adventure genre, she asked, biting her lip.

- Do you like Indiana Jones?

- Well, I… – he gave a guilty smile – Are you going to be really mad at me if I say I never watched any of the movies?

- Serious?! she asked, astonished.

- I think I lost the habit of having that kind of fun after I started working, even though I knew I could just turn on the television and watch whenever you want. – He shrugged, but he looked almost embarrassed – Maybe people are right when they say I work more than I do anything else. - The slight tone of bitterness in that sentence made her heart squeeze.

- Well... You can start trying to have more fun from now on. – she tried to cheer him up, giving a small encouraging smile – And, if you want, I can show you the things I like to do for fun... So you can find out if you like any of them too.. – she offered timidly, even if a part of her still thought that Logan would hardly have fun with her that night. Still... There was another part of her, a much bigger one, that wanted to share her favorite things with him, for some unknown reason. It was as if, when Logan knew what she loved, then he could enter her little world and be with her completely.

To her surprise, Logan flashed a bright, gigantic smile, as if she'd just offered him the greatest of rewards.

- I would love to. – He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, taking the opportunity to caress her face affectionately – In fact, nothing would make me happier than sharing the things I love with you, Missy. That dazzling smile widened, making her feel dizzy.

Out of breath, she tried to reply, “Hmmm…not impressive. In fact, like I said, I think it's quite possible that you might find it boring...

- Do you find the things you like boring? he asked suddenly, eyeing her carefully.

- Well no. – She shrugged, awkwardly – To me they are… Cool.

- I would bet you consider them a little more than cool. – he smiled slowly, almost surreptitiously – I noticed the way your expression lights up whenever you talk to someone about the stories and characters you like. That completely enchanted and passionate tone you used to talk about them... All of which makes it clear how much you love each of these things, Missy. They're just not cool. – His tone was not reproachful, but solemn – They are important to you. That's what makes them special. And that's why I want to meet them so much. – His crooked smile made her heart miss several beats – Because I want to get to know you a little better through them… – he placed that huge warm hand on her bare knee, making her shiver – And I want to be able to see that euphoric expression on your face again as you explain to me why each of these things is so special to you. For example, is the movie you suggested special to you? – after that question, he straightened his back even more, focusing his attention on her as if he was waiting for her to reveal the meaning of life.

-Hmmm… – Missy looked away to her hands, which were nervously twisting in her lap, not quite knowing how to explain that without looking like a fool – Well, yes. You know... It was one of my dad's favorite movies. He was the one who started this tradition of taking some family time just to talk, eat popcorn and have fun, at least once a month. After… he was gone… – she swallowed – Megan and I decided that we would never let game nights die. That way... We could keep a part of him alive too. – Missy looked at her cell phone screen with a sad smile – And the Indiana Jones trilogy was one of his favorites. When I watch it, it doesn't just entertain me, you know? It seems... It seems that his memories become more vivid. – she admitted, still focused only on her hands – I know it doesn't make sense, but… Sometimes, as the movie goes by, everything looks so much the same as when I was a child and he hugged us… That I almost feel like he was still on my side. As if my memories of him had come to life. As if he was going to make a funny comment to make me laugh at any moment... Or tickle me... - she laughed and sniffled sadly at that memory - Or put me to bed when I fell asleep. It's like, when I do the things I liked to do with him...

- Looks like he never truly left your side. – he completed his sentence melancholy and, astonished, Missy could only look at him, while Logan smiled sadly – I… I can understand how you feel. I feel exactly the same way... About my grandfather. – he stirred, hugging her even tighter against him – My father's father was very present in my life when I was a child. He used to take care of the three of us while my parents were working, but... Even though he loved us all, we always had a special connection. He was my best friend. he muttered, dejected.

- What was his name? Missy asked softly, feeling as if his sadness was getting to her too.

- Tristan. – he revealed with a tiny smile – My parents named me after him. You know, we used to do everything together: he taught me to fish, to camp, to make divisions... - Logan laughed sadly, as if a bittersweet memory had crossed his mind - He told me stories, played with food... And we listened music together. – He looked up at her and Missy realized they were teary – That's my favorite memory of him. Just like you, with game nights and your dad, I feel my grandfather's presence when I listen to any kind of music, especially when it comes from a piano. It was his favorite instrument. – she watched him gulp almost imperceptibly, clearly trying to contain his emotion – He even knew how to play. But we didn't have access to places where there were pianos, so none of the grandchildren saw him play. So when I was a kid, I spent several years collecting coins in a jar, because I really believed that at some point I would have enough money to buy a piano so he could teach me, as he always wanted... And he didn't even once told me to give up doing it, even though it was almost impossible. All he did was encourage me no matter what I wanted to do. - A melancholy smile appeared on his face, and it slowly faded until it disappeared completely.

- When... He was in the hospital... He raved a few times about it... About how he wanted to teach me how to play... - A tear ran down his eye and, before he could even realize what he was doing , Missy reached up and wiped it away, wanting to comfort him, while stroking his cheek - And I promised that we would do this. That I was going to buy the piano, that he was going to teach me... But then, I woke up one day, and my parents said he was dead. – his voice sounded dejected, almost fragile – And I realized that not only did he never fulfill his dream of teaching me how to play… I never had the chance to see him play, because no one else in the family could afford it. having a piano at home at that time. – that last sentence, of extreme regret, was also said with a fierce anger that she didn't understand where it came from.

- How old were you when… – she bit her lip, her head down – He left?

- Nine. – Logan sighed – I think that's why music has become something so vital in my life. Because it was the way I found to have him with me. – he looked at her sadly – You know, when I was a teenager, I started to realize that my memories of him were starting to get blurry. And, even though I knew this was normal, since he died when he was very young, it pissed me off to the core... He had already died, leaving us only memories... Why did I have to lose even them too? – he reflected somberly for a moment, until he shook his head and looked deep into her eyes once more – But, over time, I understood that the best way to fight against it was not anger, but .. .

- Love? – she asked, opening a small emotional smile, understanding perfectly what he was referring to.

- Exactly. – Logan returned his smile – I realized that, as long as I continued to do the things we loved to do together… As long as I could still feel how much he loved me… – He swallowed hard, now visibly, while more tears flowed - So he would never really leave me. Not just the memory of him, but... His presence as a whole. – he seemed to have difficulty explaining, but Missy just smiled reassuringly, understanding him more than he could ever imagine, and raised her hand to wipe away those new tears, drawing his attention there – Damn, sorry. You were talking about your father and I interrupted. – he hurried to wipe his own face along with her, looking truly embarrassed – I shouldn't have turned this into a conversation about me. It's just that... - he stared at her with a mixture of disbelief and intensity - I could never imagine that someone felt... Exactly like me.

- Me either. - Missy smiled shyly - And you don't need to apologize. I'm sorry about your grandfather... - She stared at the ground, sincerely sorry, before turning back to face him - But thanks for telling me about him. Now I feel like I know you a little better, too. she stated, cheerfully and shyly.

- I like the feeling of knowing that you also know me more and more... - he kept those green and warm eyes focused on her for several seconds, until he finally wiped his cheeks again, sniffing softly - But, you know what? No more tears tonight. It's time for fun. – he smiled and took Missy's cell phone, which until then had been abandoned in the corner of the sofa, and, with a few clicks, he made the movie start playing on the television in front of them – I can't wait to watch this movie with you, now that I know how special he is. – He looked at her sideways, while a sweet smile spread across her face – In fact, I can't wait to know each one of her favorite things, in the many game nights that we will still have.

He hadn't even seen the movie and yet he wanted to have one more night with her?