Chapter 12: Chapter 12

As I slam the bedroom door behind me I push my back against it as I try to catch my breath and stop the blood rushing to my cheeks. None of this makes sense to me. the situation has already gone so out of control, and I can’t seem to grasp my sanity. I know he is a monster; I have seen it. I can’t understand for the life of me why my body seems to act this way around.

It’s true I’m not a child. I understand what it means to be turned on. At the tender age of twenty-four I should have already gone through what I know so many my age have done several times. Yet here I am in some cabin in the woods, with a man I barely know, and at the first sign of intimacy, I run. Coward. I feel like such a coward. Would it really be so bad if I had of closed the distance and let his lips touch mine?

The way he was looking at me, I was already feeling the need to feel his lips. I wanted that kiss badly, but my stupid brain just had to join in and ruin the moment. I still have so many questions. Why does he feel so familiar to me? Why do his eyes feel like they know more than he is saying? Can I really believe in this whole mate business? Do I want to believe it?

No. Yes. A part of me wants that connection. To feel like I belong to someone. To be more than just an obligation to someone. To have a true home again. As my thoughts fly through my mind I hardly even notice when my breathing calms. Lifting my head I look around the bedroom and it is exactly how I remember leaving it this morning. After everything I have been through and learned today, it all seems so distant from the scared girl who slept in this bed. With the way that his presence makes me feel, I have no idea what I want right now.

Walking over to the bed, I run my hand along the silken comforter letting the smoothness calm me. I take a deep breath preparing to do what I do best. To get some answers. Perhaps if I get more of them, I will be able to decide better. I know one thing is for sure. My head won’t allow me to leave this place before I do. With my mind made up I take a step toward the door preparing to question a dragon.

As I reach for the nob a knock sounds against the door. The noise has me freezing in my tracks. Not sure how to proceed I end up just staring at the closed door. I was supposed to come to him that way I would stay in control. He wasn’t supposed to come knocking. As I ponder on how to take control back in the situation his knock comes a second time. Only these times it’s a bit louder.

“Em” I hear him call my name. My breathing picks up again but still I make no move toward the door. “Look I didn’t mean to make you …..uh, well uncomfortable or anything. I…I didn’t mean to….no……look I’m sorry. I’m sorry for trying to kiss you” he stutters out.

I drop my hand back to my side and stare at the door. I swear I can almost feel his heat through it. I can hear the indecision in his voice. He really does sound apologetic even when I don’t really think he did anything wrong. I just might be able to use this to my advantage. Not giving myself time to change my mind, I open the door so fast I wasn’t prepared for the sight of him.

His chocolatey display of goodness causes me to lose my thoughts. In the evening light he somehow looks even better. There seems to be a sheen to his solid muscles that I have noticed before. He is so large he fills the doorway. To make it through he would probably have to turn to the side. He would definitely have to duck. My eyes zero in on his chest. His pecs are definitely defined. They almost look hard to the touch surrounded by his small, pointed nipple. The tiny lump would probably fir perfect between my teeth. I bet I could bounce a rock of those pecks likes the Rock does the berries.

I am snapped out of my ogling by a low growl. “If you want to touch us mate, all you have to do is ask. No rocks or berries will be necessary” Martell says pushing forward.

His words cause my entire face to turn crimson once I realize that I said my thought allowed. I could literally die of embarrassment at the moment. I don’t even need a mirror to know that my normally cream light brown skin probably resembles a ripened tomato at this point. “No, not necessary” I find myself rushing to say. Inside I am scolding myself for my actions. Clearing my throat I prepare once more what I was going to say.

“I have questions that I need answered” I say as I meet the gaze of the dragon head on. “For that though, I would like Maximus to be the one to answer them” I plead looking into his eyes. He grimaces as if the thought offends him but after another moment his black irises come into view. For a moment I am taken aback by the heat that I see in them. Looks like my wayward comment effected both of them. Licking my lips I enjoy how is gaze catches the action.

“You wanted to speak to me” he ask gruffly. As I look into his eyes I can tell his heat hasn’t gone away. His eyes keep flickering to my lips as if he wants to eat them. The look causes me to squirm where I stand as a resounding heat pulses between my legs. Having him this close and a bed in proximity is causing my thoughts to wonder to dark places again.

“The living room” I rush to say. “We should talk in the living” I state. His gaze searches mine and with a barely discernable nod he turns toward the living room. I take a deep breath before following him. Let’s hope I survive this trip to the dragons layer, preferably with my virginity intact I think with a wry chuckle.

He takes his seat on the couch folding his long legs with a grace I hardly possess. For a moment I contemplate asking him to move to the table. There is only the one couch and with his bulky frame on it, the couch suddenly looks very small. Walking with all the confidence I can muster I take a seat at the other end. I fidget with the labels on my button down shirt trying to figure out where to start my interrogation.

Then an idea comes to me. If I remember correctly we agreed that the questions would be mutual. He had questions that he wanted answered too. At the thought I find myself grinning like the cat that ate the cannery. “Let’s play a game shall we?” I suggest happily.

He turns his large body on the cushion and faces me with a huge smile. “I like games” he says. As I watch him I see his dragon eyes flicker briefly. With a smile I deliver the rules.

“The game is twenty-one questions. We will take turns asking an answering question with complete honesty. If you decide to pass on a question then you have to do a dare of my choosing. If I pass I will also have to do a dare of your choosing. If later on it is found out that an answer was a lie then the liar has to face the consequences chosen by the other” I say unable to hide my smile. “Still want to play”

I watch as his gaze caresses my entire my body. His heated stare is almost like a touch, and I can feel everywhere he looks. Perhaps I should have come up with something different I think for a brief moment. “I’m game. Call me intrigued” he agrees meeting my gaze. “Ladies first” he offers with a serious look.

“Okay” I say thinking about my first question. “Why did you lie to me about your name”? I question him needing to know. He looks away from me and I watch as he loses some of his confidence. He stays quiet for so long that I think that for a moment he will pass. I start thinking about a dare for him when I hear his voice.

“There are things about my past that you will not like. Knowing my name means more than you know and could allow you to uncover these things. If you did I know that I would lose you. So, I lied about my name so that I would have a chance to get to know my mate. To at least spend some time in your presence even if it meant that later I might lose you” he answers.

As far as answers go, this is a damn good one. He also does sound completely honest with it. I wonder what he could have done that he thinks would scare me off. I begin to ask him when he speaks once more. “That makes it my turn. Have you ever been with a man?” he ask brazenly. As his gaze searches mine I see that his eyes are cold once more as he waits for me to answer.

I nod my head in answer. It is half-truth, however. I have done it all with a man but the final deed. “How many?” he ask so quietly I almost don’t hear him. The sound is nearly a growl. If I didn’t know better I would definitely say that he is jealous.

“ah, ah, ah, I answered your question, so now it’s mine turn. Have you ever been with a woman?” I ask him back. A part of me is dreading his answer but I feel the need to know. He looks disappointed that I didn’t answer his question of how many. As he pursues his lips he shakes his head no.

I blink at him wondering if I saw wrong. “Remember that you are not allowed to lie in this game” I say as I feel my anger rising. The least he could do is tell me the truth about something so simple.

“I did not lie. My answer is no. I have never even kissed a female or tried to before today” he answers quickly. “Where did you live at the age of twelve?” he ask curiously. My mouth is still having trouble forming a coherent thought at what he just said, and I know I need more information. His next question is oddly specific, however.

“San Bernadino. I have lived there ever since. How is it possible that you have never been with a woman or kissed one?” I ask him needing an answer.

I watch him as I wait for his answer. He rubs his hands along his thighs and his eyes flicker very quickly. I’ve guessed that when his eyes do that it is because he is talking with his dragon.

“Our dragons are…well let’s say selective. We able to find others attractive but it is different for us if we choose to act on it. They are their own being just as we are our own. Two people living in the same body would have to come to an agreement” he says as his gaze is on the wall.

“I don’t feel like that answers my question” I state honestly.

He sighs heavily and meets my gaze. As he speaks I can see how he searches my features watching my reactions. “There is only one for us. Our mate. Until we meet them then we have no reactions. No….cravings. When we meet our mate, then we want to kiss. We want to touch and all the other things. Until we meet our mate we won’t experience what you humans call desire” he states quietly.

I am taken aback by his answer. This is definitely a new discovery that he is as inexperienced as me. I thought that he would have some answer that was heroic like he was waiting for the right person. I was expecting his answer to make me feel happy knowing that he had waited. However, instead I just feel sad. He has never gotten to experience something like this. I would have been able to experience it if I had the choice, but I decided not to. He never got to ponder the choice.

“Why did you fear me so much when you found out what I was?” he ask as he clears the heavy silence between us.

“I went through something when I was child. I saw one of your kind murders someone. As a child to see something like that, I was beyond scared. I even had to attend therapy to try to overcome what I saw. It made things extremely difficult for me in more ways than one” I answer him.

At my explanation he opens his mouth to ask me more. He looks like he just got one of the biggest shocks of his life and once more his eyes are flashing to his dragons. Before he can speak however, I decide to ask him another question.

“What was it like growing up here in this …place”? I ask.

“Well I didn’t really grow up here. When I first learned about this clan I visited out of curiosity. Even though I wasn’t allowed to leave I still did. I was forced to come back when I got arrested and they watched me closely. Since I had to stay I fought my way through the ranks to become the leader. Instead I got stuck as second best” he says with a huff. I watched as he answered and watched the shock slowly leave his face.

“What do you think about in a mate?” he ask quietly. I chuckle at his question knowing that I don’t have an answer for it.

“Pass” I say easily. That question was definitely a set-up. If I were to try to answer it then he would just become what he thought I wanted to try to keep me here instead of being himself. I would rather get to know who he is than have him pretend.

“So, this means I get a dare then right?” he ask with a smile. I purse my lips and stare at him. he looks way to happy and for a moment I fear what his dare will be. So I answer him with a simple nod of my head.

“Okay, I dare you……to let me hold you” he says with all seriousness. For what I was imagining this dare seems tame in comparison. I arch my eyebrow at him however to see his reaction. He runs a hand through his coarse hair and looks around the room. After a few moments I decide that I still need questions answered.

“Place your leg on the couch” I tell him as I rise to stand. He cocks is head at me in wonder. I point at his leg and then point to the couch. He lifts his leg fast at my direction. Moving slowly I place a knee onto the couch in front of his leg. For some reason, this moment seems so intimate between us.

I search his delectable figure trying to figure out where to put my hands. If I place them on either side of him then I will lay their awkwardly. Even though I want to rub my body against his, I have an inkling to where things will lead if I do. I could put them on his chest I think only to quickly toss the idea. I’ve been wanting to touch it since I saw it that first night.

I must have stood there thinking on it so long that he got impatient. I watch as his hands flash out to grab my hips and pull me toward him. My legs body loses contact with anything but his hands as he lifts me. A squeak leaves my lips involuntarily before I am surrounded by warmth. My heart rate picks up as I notice our positions.

My back is pressed against the leg that I had him lift onto the couch. I can feel his hips pressed into my side. The biggest shocker is my face. It ended pressed right into his chest and rapid beating of his heart plays in my ear. If I lean tilt my head back I can look right into his black gaze without it being uncomfortable. My right arm lays tucked under his while the other is bent over is abdomen. If I were to flex my fingers I could touch all those muscles.

I meet his gaze with a heavy swallow. His eyes are still flashing. As the seconds tick by I watch as his gaze goes heated and my skin erupts in goosebumps. I can feel my nipples tighten in my bra. I quickly look away from his gaze and bite my lip. Closing my eyes I focus on listening to his heart intently as it calms my own.

“So….uh, I think it’s your turn to ask a question” he says. I can’t help the laugh that leaves my chest. Being this close to him I completely forgot that we were playing a game. When my head starts to shake against him, I realize that he is laughing to. I’m glad to not be the only one that is effected by his dare. If such a simple one makes me feel this way, I can’t wait to see what is in store for me next.