Chapter 63: Chapter 63

“Keep on switching positions, the ones in the back, move forward, take the positions of the ones in the front, don’t lose focus!” Henry marched the board with wide, quick strides, his voice authoritative and strong so none of the crew would miss his orders, even though not everyone was willing to follow them.

Looking back at the back of the ship, Henry wondered if the shadows’ lord was still alive, it would be a miracle if he was, and since he was on his way to fight the Gods, he doubted he could prey for a miracle.

Henry looked at the faces of the crew, wondering if he would see them on the returning sail, if he would be on the returning sail, and if there will be one in the first place, it was one of those rare moments where he felt the urge to lock himself in a room and just fret, panic, away from everyone else.

Henry was never a coward, however, he wasn’t the reckless kind who would throw himself in the way of danger out of heroism, even when he was a child, he always thought out all of his actions, he was the man of logic and reason, yet he couldn’t deny that there were times when he felt so helpless to the point where he couldn’t do anything but turn to the Gods.

He was never a religious man yet he still felt the need to hold on to something at that moment, and that made him wonder about his people, and all the humans in the world who believed wholeheartedly, who endured the hardships of life, the pain, sickness, poverty, loss and death just because they had the deep unquestionable credence that all their sufferings and endurance would be rewarded by the good Gods.

The war was going to create a true identity crisis for his people, and maybe it already did, his sister might be having a hard time controlling the people and preventing the internal dissidence which started even before his departure, he hoped from the bottom of his heart that his sister would be able to hold things together until his return, or at least that his mother would return to the castle and help her.

Regaining his focus, Henry kept on moving from one corner of the ship to the other, spitting contradicted orders every few minutes which wasn’t very welcomed by the crew, especially the demons.

Henry knew all of that, but he still kept on going with his little plan, he remembered Rima’s words about the fog and how it effected the mind, keeping his crew and himself in constant motion was his way of keeping everyone in the present and not allow the fog to sway their minds, And even himself, giving everyone new orders each five minutes was also a way to not give in to his bad habit of overthinking and planning things ahead.

Checking out his pocket watch, Henry noticed that three hours passed since they exited the deathly circle only to enter the fog range, which was another matter that troubled him, for time was strangely flexible and unstable, the three hours felt like half an hour to him, while to others, it felt like days, only then did he understood the ice queen’s words when she said they were trapped in the fog for three days without even realizing!

And now it was up to him to avoid such fate from befalling on the entire fleet, or what was left of it, one of the first things he did after leaving the circle was counting the casualties, and according to the shadow demons who were, somehow, able to communicate with each other, they lost thirty ships and almost two thousands men in the deathly circle, it was a heavy loss but it could have been much worse if it wasn’t for the shadows lord’s sacrifice.

Putting back the golden pocket watch where it used to be, Henry looked inside his pocket for the small toothed gear, sensing the pointiness of the tiny bumps, he wrapped his palm around the small object and squeezed it without taking it out of his pocket.

Henry felt the pain of the small teeth digging into his palm, but all what appeared on his face was a barely noticeable twitch, he didn’t want anyone to know what he was doing to himself; he didn’t want to be seen as someone with self-harming tendencies, especially since that wasn’t the case.

The gear was actually a gift from his beloved father, he liked to consider it as that even though he knew it wasn’t meant to be a gift, for his father was so adamant on “making a man out of him”, one which was able to endure the pain without letting it show on his face, Henry remembered those times clearly even though he was barely eight, it wasn’t something he could forget, the pain, the fear, and the humiliation that came if he failed the task and someone detected the pain on his face.

This time, however, was different, for he wasn’t squeezing the gear to train his manhood and prove his masculinity, it was simply to feel the pain, the real physical pain which brought him back from the labyrinth of thoughts, pain was an anchor, preventing him from drifting behind the illusions.

Hearing the splash of water, Henry ran toward the back of the ship, he didn’t need to see it to know what happened, it happened many times in the past hours, another soldier was tricked by the fog to the point where he threw himself from the ship, it was becoming very alarming at this rate, but he couldn’t do much on his own.

In a way, he missed the demon lord and queen, his affection and lodging to see the ice queen was very normal, but what surprised him was the fact that he slightly missed the shadows’ lord, even though they barely got along, and almost half of their time was spent in exchanging glares, he still found something to admire about the man, his bravery, strength, and selflessness.

And those last words he said, Henry was perfectly able to sense the shadows lord’s pain and sorrow in each word, and was somehow able to touch something different about the demon lord, something human even though it was broken, something he could relate to, after those last words, the human king saw his peer in a new light, or maybe he saw him in light, even though the light was faint, but it allowed Henry to see more of the man than the scary shadows.

The three of them were not that different after all, they all had a cause, a heavy responsibility, and they all did their best, and even worst, to carry it, the demon lord and queen were both impressive individuals, ones he never thought he would find among demons, especially the ice queen.

Henry’s lips stretched to form a warm smile, for he couldn’t wait to see her again, with her calm beauty and serene smile, everything about her felt so perfect, and in a way, reminded him of his beloved mother, the one he was so worried for, he was still a bit hurt that she went behind his back and set his father free at that critical time, but not as much as he was when he knew she had left him and his siblings to join the man who did nothing but torment her.

She loved his father, something he knew but couldn’t quite understand, for the man was horrible, not just to her, but to them as well, he believed that even if she was madly in love with the man who made their lives miserable, she would pick her own children at the end of the day, that was what she always said, that her children came first to her, but it all turned out to be a bitter lie.

She abandoned them, right when they needed her the most, when their kingdom was at the verge of chaos, and all for what?

For the man who took the best out of her and turned her into a shell hiding piles and piles of misery and sadness, for the man who used her to provide him with heirs and a good image, and then threw all of his responsibilities on her to mourn his dead love while barely caring for the children that needed him.

Henry remembered the dinners they had with their mother when their father wasn’t in the palace or just didn’t want to join, and how warm and cheerful those times was even when his mother’s eyes were filled with an untold sadness, and then there was the dinners they shared with their father, and how tensed they all felt, afraid to make the slightest mistake in front of him, knowing exactly how he would flip and rage.

The fucker was never a father to any of them, nor did he deserve a great woman like his mother, and who knew, maybe he was abusing her in that second! Maybe she lied when she said he never hit her! maybe he only hit her where no one could see it, the way he did him and his brother Nicholas.

He should have killed him the second he got the chance, he should have sent him to meet the bitch he loved more than his own wife and children, instead of letting him be, Henry believed it was his fault that the monster was going to hurt his mother and siblings again, seeing the whip rise on the sky to fall on his mother’s frail and bloodied body, Henry rushed forward, unsheathing his sword, ready to behead the bastard, he was not going to repeat the same mistake, this time, he wasn’t going to spare the fucker, he was going to…

Henry didn’t know what happened at first, all he knew was that his face and then his butt were throbbing with pain, regaining his focus, he noticed he was half laying on the board with an angry demon staring at him!

“Get your shit together!” the demon roared angrily, and it took Henry few seconds to understand what happened.

The fog was thicker than before, and his sword was by his side, meaning he fell under the control of the fog and almost attacked the demon who was quick to strike back.

“Don’t” Henry stopped his soldiers, who were about to attack the demon who knocked down their king, and instead offered him a quick nod which the demon accepted before returning to his duties.

Once he was no longer the center of attention as everyone resumed their duties, Henry cursed himself mentally, disappointed that he allowed his bottled anger and hatred to control him.

Remembering what the ice queen said about the fog using one’s weakness and darkness against them, he wondered if his anger and hatred to his father was his weakness, his mother always pointed it out, saying that it would one day destroy him.

And it almost did, literally! Henry frowned while looking at the fog, wondering if this thing was not just a weapon, but a mirror, one that showed them their ugliness, and now he saw his, he saw how much rage and hatred he carried, and he saw what it can do to him if he let it control him, the question was, what to do with it?

Can he forget about it and move on? Henry asked himself, a part of him not wanting to hold on to that grudge anymore, not wanting to hold on to a weakness which might find it way into destroying him again, while another part of him couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive the man who stole away his mother’s happiness and his childhood

When Henry was a young boy, he always wondered if his father was a disguised demon waiting for the nightfall to devour them, but lately, he learned that demons were not that terrible, they were not that monstrous even when they appeared to be, and maybe that was the case with his father, maybe there were some goodness under the piles of cruelty, one which explained his actions.

Forgiveness was going to be a long journey, maybe as long as the one he was on right then, and maybe this journey was going to change much more than their fate, maybe it was meant to change them as well, Henry smiled with confidence, feeling lighter even though he just made the heavy decision on walking both journeys no matter where they were taking him.

At least, one of the journeys was taking him to her, Henry felt the fog dissolve around him the more he focused on that task, of reaching his destination he was so determinate to reach, the woman who was waiting for him, the woman who gave him not just the means to escape the fog, but also a valuable life lesson.

To live in the present, and not dwell about the past nor overthink the future, this was a new era, dwelling about the past tragedies and enmities should be left behind, it was the time to make new mistakes, new enemies, new friends, and more.