Chapter 138: Chapter 138
As his brothers unloaded the carriage, Nicholas stared with a solemn face at the ruins of what used to be his home, his true home, where he found not just himself but a purpose for his life, a reason to live for, a family that understood and cared for him, and a lover he was willing to die for, the place was where his heart lived, until his blood brother destroyed it, the brother he wanted nothing more than to burn alive and watch as he screams in agony, the same way he burned the holy tower.
Nicholas swallowed the heavy lump in his throat as he passed the charred remains, it has been two years since the night of the raiding and two years since he came back to this place, there was nothing left to come back for except for the burned stones, crumbled walls, pain, and memories, a lot of them, and they all rushed back to him at once, swallowing him back into that swamp of bitterness while his brothers, his real brothers, the ones he chose, were busy emptying the bloodied sacks of their fillings.
While Henry was the golden boy and the crowned prince who was meant to take over his father’s throne, and Nara was the precious princess who was meant to be a bridge of alliance, Nicholas always struggled to find himself an identity, a role and a status, he was always referred to as the ‘other brother’, the useless one in more honest terms, he wasn’t a good fighter, not as good as his elder brother and his friends anyway, he was rather small and lean compared to the other boys, and didn’t fit in the role of the armies’ commander that was meant for him as the second prince, he was never fond of gatherings and meetings, he hated the fake pleasantries and hypocrisy, the lies and the schemes everyone weaved against each other while flashing them a friendly smile, he hated the required sophistication it took to be that kind of a prince, therefore, his social skills were as good as nothing unlike his sweet sister who was everyone’s beloved princess who carried her friendly smile in her pocket and wore it whenever needed, he wasn’t as smart and discerning as his mother who had vast knowledge about almost everything and used it to enhance both the economy and politics of the kingdom, he didn’t have the same intimidating presence as his father which was probably the only good quality about him that imposed fear and respect in other’s hearts, there was nothing special about the second prince, and no matter how hard he tried to mold himself into any role, he couldn’t, and for that, he was always labeled as the ‘never enough’ or the ‘good for nothing’ brother, a label he carried within him for so long.
It was never an easy life, Nicholas thought to himself, to be the disappointing brother, the one who no one thought deserved much effort wasted on him, even his mother, she loved him, but she was too busy grooming her precious Henry and mourning her pathetic love to care much about him, to see that he wasn’t feeling home, he never had, it grew up with him, slowly erasing him from the picture that had all his family members in their respective roles while he was the unnecessary good for nothing add that could be simply removed and no one would even notice.
And that is what his life was, Nicholas thought back, he was the faint figure that lurked around, too insignificant to be noticed, except by those who wanted to get their clutches on him, fill his head with toxic thoughts and then use him for their own benefits, only that he didn’t care, he had no interest in those schemes, nor in the throne that was meant to be his brother’s since the day he was born.
And that brought him to another problem he always had, something he always lacked, beside the care and attention, it was the attraction towards the other sex, it was the favorite topic of the boys his age, how beautiful girls were and which ones they liked and preferred, but he never felt any attraction towards girls, even those beautiful nobles that tried to approach him, at first he thought that it was the prior knowledge of their intentions, that they were sent by their families with ill wills in their minds, but it wasn’t just that, he was just, indifferent, he felt nothing towards them, if anything, he liked his friends more, the male ones.
His father, the bastard, noticed it and, with the help of his brother, shoved many girls in his bed, ones he was so disgusted of no matter how beautiful they were nor how hard they tried to get a reaction out of him, he just couldn’t feel anything, nor did his body, the girls of course reported it back to his family, his mother told him that he didn’t meet the right one but others, including his father, said he was without virility, that he wasn’t a man, and that he couldn’t do even what animals do, and give the Yoren dynasty more heirs.
It was unsufferable, Nicholas thought back about the days when he was nothing but a lad, mocked and pushed around, how he felt, even he didn’t think much of himself, along the way, he was met with several paths, ones which even he knew that would him to lose whatever self-recognition he had left, some suggested that he should indulge himself in all the pleasures and live a carefree life since he didn’t have any responsibilities but that wasn’t what he desired, if anything, he wanted a more temperate life, with a goal he believed in, one that gave him a place and gave the nothingness that was his life a meaning, when he couldn’t find that anywhere, he got sick of his life, of his existence, which eventually lead him to fall sick and was sent to the holy tower for treatment, and that is where he found the light.
Since the moment he walked inside the tower and was met with the greyish stone walls, the scent of old books and ink, the grey robes of the priests, and the whole spirit of the place, Nicholas felt as if it was where he belonged, it was so simple and dull, without the flashing colors and lights of the castle, yet the place seemed so serene and peaceful, with a glow of holiness to it, it was so beautiful without being beautified, so rich without all the riches.
“Pesky little thing, isn’t it?” Nicholas was pulled out of his thoughts by his lover’s voice who came to stand besides him, his entire body covered in the large cloak as he didn’t want his unique appearance to draw any unnecessary attention, but even without seeing his handsome face, Nicholas knew that his lover was giving him that sympathetic smile of his, the one he hated and loved at the same time “I mean the past.”
“It is!” Nicholas’s voice sounded void and distant as he sighed out the words, his eyes looking back at the charred ruins, there was indeed nothing left of the high tower, the man in front of him sensed his agony and stepped next to him and took his hand in his, letting his warmth seep through their joined fingers and comfort the troubled prince, the gesture was discreet and hidden from the eyes, but it was enough to calm Nicholas a little as he remembered that his lover was by his side, that even when the holy tower was burned to ashes, they still had their faith, and he still had him.
“They even took the recipient!” Nicholas breathed out, frustrated and saddened at the loss of such a divine treasure, a treasure that meant more to him than it did for anyone else.
He remembered how he, after joining strengthening his fate and relation with the holy council, was given the supreme honor of seeing the recipient, and there, he did not just see the prophecies, but saw a pair of pure eyes that stared at him for so long, the eyes were so beautiful, more beautiful than anything, and so captivating to the point where the prince couldn’t look away, not until the high priest pulled him out of the room, but that didn’t matter much, for he was already connected to the owner of the eyes, and the voice echoed in his head.
A God spoke to him that day, and many days after..
Nov stared at the prince from under the hoodie and knew instantly what he was thinking, his pathetic yet somehow precious human pet was again reliving the memory of their first interaction, it was ironic and unplanned, when he decided it was the time to execute his plan, however, Nov knew that he needed peons from the human world, ones that were effective and important enough to made an impact, and at the same time loyal enough to obey him blindly, and that is how he ended up choosing the young prince.
When Nov first saw the clear blue eyes staring through the recipient, he knew there was something special about him, a bottled anger and hatred towards the kind of life he had and had to endure, which was the same thing Nov felt in his heart, he knew how destructive those feeling can be, and how far can one go because of them which made the human prince the perfect peon to use, however, and out of sheer boredom, Nov wanted to push his little game a bit further, see what it was like to get a human to love him, man or woman it didn’t matter to him, and after spending thousands of years with a woman, he wanted something different, something more vivid and edgy, and the beautiful prince was perfect one to give him all he wanted, and he wanted to play not just with the young and prince’s head, but with his heart too.
And he did, Nov thought, he convinced the naïve prince that they had something special, that the disgust he was feeling towards others was only because he belonged to someone all along, a deity that waited for his resurrection, the whole thing was at first overwhelming to the young prince but not for long as he unknowingly turned into a ring in the bored and sly god’s fingers who turned and used him how ever he liked, and the first mission he gave him, was to kill the hybrid.
“Don’t worry about that thing, I am here now and you no longer need it!” Nov reassured his troubled pet who was barely sleeping lately, and even though he didn’t have any real feelings towards the prince, he still cared for him in a way, like one would do with a pet, Nicholas however was deeply in love with his God, in every single way, enough to the point of creating a full cult to take down the humans and the demons for him.
“Any news from the girl?” Nov asked while he started walking away, Nicholas quickly trailing behind him as he knew he was no longer needed for their task has been accomplished.
“As you expected, she did not die from the poison, so I think she is the hybrid, but she is hiding her identity for some reason.”
“That is a very useful information, love, I am sure it will be handy for us, what about the shadows’ lord?” Nov’s eyes flashed with Malice as he thought about his next prey, the hybrid girl and the power she carried, one which was enough to make him the strongest being in the world, even stronger than the first-generation Gods who were guarding the edges or something.
“He is very close to the king and even saved the princess from the attack of the fire demons, some are saying that he will marry Nara to strengthen that alliance.” Nicholas felt the blood raise to his head as he said the last words, even when he had long severed his ties with his blood family, Nara was his twin, a part of him, and to offer her to bloody demon to strengthen that pathetic alliance was something he couldn’t forgive his elder brother for.
“Well, let us see if he still wants any alliance after seeing the surprise we had left for him!” Nov smiled evilly as he left the ruins with Nicholas and the rest of the priests trailing after him, leaving behind a bloodied message.
…..
“Dahlia!” with a sigh and a contained anger, Eren pulled away from Sara’s neck once they heard the faint voice of the princess, normally he wouldn’t care and use his shadows to throw away who ever was interrupting his moment with his woman, but the way Sara’s body stiffened and her breath was caught in her throat told him that their moment, the one he still couldn’t believe was real and not a dream, had to end, he didn’t want to push his luck nor her tolerance any further, as he still didn’t know whether what happened was with her full realization and consent or whether it was the overwhelming events of the night as well as the gratitude she thought she owned him, that thought filled his heart with sorrow.
The knocking was gentle, but Sara heard the impatience in her sister’s voice, looking up at the man holding her in his arms, she didn’t know what to say or do, it wasn’t like she was regretting her earlier actions, and didn’t want to leave his arms either, it felt so right as if he was her missing piece, his embrace made her feel safe and secured, but at the same time, she couldn’t give her sister any more reasons to doubt her, she felt torn between the two and instead of making the decision herself, she looked up at him, and he, as if reading her every thought, smiled warmly and understandably, his eyes not holding any judgment nor anger, there was a sorrow which he tried to hide, and rather than that, there were just love and understanding.
Love, Sara thought to herself, it was there, unmistakable in his eyes, in his erratic heart beats and in the way he treated her, as if she was his everything, she felt his arms tighten around her as he placed a soft kiss on the top of her nose before fading into shadows.
He could have at least said something, Sara thought while biting her inner cheek before she walked to the door, clearing her head, taking a deep breath, and putting on a serious face, she opened the door to find a troubled Nara whose expression turned to be one of perplexity.
“Where were you?!” Nara asked as her eyes took in Dahlia’s appearance, her knightess was in her battle attire, her hair was disheveled, her scars exposed and her cheeks flushed.
Dahlia was blushing?
“Out in the streets.” Sara answered calmly, noticing how her sister’s eyes were transfixed on he scars, she didn’t even know that they were exposed, and her thoughts went directly to the shadows lord who saw her scarred face, but didn’t say anything and just looked at her as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world, only that she wasn’t, was he deliberately ignoring them? Sara thought, unknowingly letting her doubts and her insecurities cloud her judgment and stab her self-esteem, making her feel so self-conscious about the scars that were a part of her, ones which were meant to remain.
“I thought you were too sick to get out of bed.” Nara asked with a confused expression, looking almost innocent, but after their encounter earlier that day, Sara couldn’t help but feel skeptical about each word she said, she searched for the accusation in her tone and look but didn’t find any, and therefore, chose to remain silent and see what her sister was aiming at.
“Are you hiding something, Dahlia?” Nara’s whole demeanor changed as she said those words after long seconds of uncomfortable silence, she looked distant, cautious, as if she already knew the answer and was just waiting to see what knightess would say.
“I am, we all have secrets.” Sara chose to not lie but to not be true either, she didn’t know what her sister had in mind, but she was still hurt from the way she treated her, in the cave, on the podium, and in her room.
“I see!” Nara said as she nodded, her face serious and distant, “Well, we have a problem, Henry asked for your presence.”
“What for?” Sara walked with her sister, feeling the huge gap between them, her heart twitched with pain and guilt but she brushed it off.
“I thought you were in the streets; how come you don’t know?” Nara asked in a mocking and accusing tone, as if the lie which she already knew was a lie got exposed, but instead of waiting for an answer, she filled in her knightess about the crisis they were facing.
“Demon bodies were found on the capital, Dahlia, over a hundred of them, all dissected and decapitated, their blood was used to draw weird symbols on the walls…”
“A circle with a dot in the middle!” Sara finished her sister’s words, her heart racing with fear at what she heard.