Chapter 4: Chapter 4

ARRIVAL

"Beeb"

"Beeb"

"Beeb" that sound was unfamiliar,my eyes slide open slowly.

"Hey hunny" my heart raced as I didn't recognize the voice at first, I was beginning to fully awake.

"Calm down baby, you are going to be fine, my little angel" that was the voice of my mother, I felt her hands stroke my face gently, my eyes_widen.

I saw my mom and dad standing beside me, I was so happy, they took me into their arms as I began to cry, I felt so safe.

"What happened to me? Where am I? I asked.

" You blacked out and you're in a hospital sweetheart" said the pediatrician.

She had just stepped in, she was smartly dressed and was looking beautiful with the smile she was wearing.

"How do you feel?" I didn't respond.

"Do you feel any sort of pain anywhere?" I shocked my head in a way to tell her "No" she runs a few tests on me.

" You'll be alright, you just need some sleep and much fruit" she turned to my parents in some sort of way asking to see them, they both followed the happy looking doctor outside.

I turned just then to notice my siblings who have been there the whole time.

"Liya" I said excited to see her, my kid sis, Genesis came closer with her to me.

Genesis, my big sister, she looked like she had been crying,I don't know why but I took Liya from her and kissed her jelly cheeks that made her giggle a little.

"Jay ..... Jay"she said and I smile.

"Yes, Pretty one" I hugged her even closer.

" Am sorry and soo sorry, I didn't know, I could have been there for you, am so stupid!! am so fucking stupid" Genesis started, she stood in front of me,I couldn't fight back my tears.

I saw how sorry she was.

"I was only trying to fit in and make friends and I...just... thought I could fit in,am so sorry" she cried even more, so did I, but that couldn't heal all the pain Mr Sam had given to me, those scars, it will forever be with me.

"Where is he?" I was talking about Mr Sam.

" That bloody modafucker is dead, you fucking killed him and am happy you did tho,he didn't deserve a fast one, you staped him in the neck and he died like a fucking chicken" she winked with her wet eyes soaking from tears.

I smiled and she hugged me and kissed me on my temple making me relaxed and safe again.

I was discharged the next week, I really felt much better, I got home and my brothers Frankie and Gerald (yeah he was named after my father) was holding a welcome back home sign and smiling.

I was happy to see them, they both hugged me, holding me tight.

"Don't hold me too hard except you want to send me back to the hospital" I said smiling, they both laughed as they released their hold on me, it felt good to be home, those painful memories flashes back, taking my smile away.

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Few years have passed, I am barely associated with my brothers.

Frankie was bothered about me, he's the first child of my mother but not my dad,he was the eldest amongst my siblings, sometimes knowing he is my half brother just made me hate him.

" What if mom got raped by his father?" My mind questioned.

" What if he was like Mr Sam towards me to mom?" I kept guessing and that thought made me hate him the most.

I stopped talking to my dad,I hated morning prayers, I hated school,church, and anything that had to do with people, I wanted to be all alone.

Mom tried to talk to be but I didn't want you to talk, I wasn't interested.

"She was the cause of this in the first place" thinking out loud.

If she hadn't brought that man to our home,I wouldn't have been like this,I just wanted to be far from home,somewhere I could breathe another air that Mr Sam didn't breathe when he had the life to live.

On a Sunday morning.

" Dad I want to go to a private school,far away from home and I'll prefer it if it was a boarding school" I started.

He was speechless for a while before he cleared his throat, and hadn't spoken to him in a long while.

" Do you feel that would help?" he asked, not looking at me.

" Yes please" I nodded slowly, my eyes down, but I could now feel his eyes on me and I didn't want to meet them.

" Fine then, if that makes you happy, I am happy too" I wasn't happy but I had to breathe, I needed air.

Dad already told Mom, I saw her crying in the bathroom once and on my bed but acted normal so it doesn't feel like I was gonna die in the boarding house.

My siblings too they started acting strangely, they smiled anytime I met their eyes, I caught Genesis crying one time, she still holds herself responsible for what happened to me.

After looking for a nice private boarding school that felt like forever to find, two weeks later Dad was telling Mom in the kitchen that he had found a school for me, I could hear her sob, dad consoling her.

I wasn't happy to leave my family but I had to, I couldn't wait for years to go by, and I'll learn to contain this rage and pain.

I felt so lonely inside my heart.