Chapter 44: Chapter 44

Rylie's POV

The week leading up to the funeral was a flurry of activities. That coupled with stress of school meant that I barely had the time to find my feet. It also meant that Blake and I really never got to talk.

Blake stopped coming to school totally and was almost always in his room. Trying to talk to him always yielded the same result; he needed more time.

And that was what I gave him. I gave him time and all the space he needed to get over it. This wasn't an easy thing that he was going through and I understood that. Grandma Nellie's death hadn't been easy on anybody.

A week after Grandma Nellie passed away, the funeral was held. That was pretty much the only time I got to see Blake in days. I wanted to approach him and hug him so bad, anything I could do to give him comfort but I never got the chance.

Immediately after Grandma Nellie's funeral was concluded, everyone present went back to the Westons for some coffee and bagels. Blake excused himself and retired to his room, taking with him the only chance I had to speak with him in days.

Days passed again and finals steadily drew close along with the talent competition. My passion however for both had disappeared. Reading was out of the question as it was near impossible to concentrate.

As for the talent competition, since the one person who'd been pushing me to participate in the first place was no longer present, I lost all willingness to go ahead and do it. Blake had been right though. The video he'd taken of me singing did go viral and I had to get used to multiple strangers complimenting me. Turns out Blake had been right about a lot of things.

I missed him so much. I wanted him so bad. He was all I could think of and him keeping away hurt more than anything else. It hurt more than anything Asher could have ever done to me. I only wished I could let him see that.

"Earth to Rylie!" Olivia snapped her finger in my face, jerking me back to reality. "Hey. Are you okay?" she inquired, a look of worry on her face.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I perked up with a fake smile.

"You don't have to pretend for me, Rylie. I know you're not doing okay. You can confide in me. We're best friends," she tenderly laid a hand on my shoulder.

I glanced at her hand and back at her concerned face before I sighed.

"Okay. You're right and I'm sorry. It's just…" I took a shaky breath, "I just can't get over the fact that Blake wants absolutely nothing to do with me."

"That's not true, Rylie. He's just- going through a lot."

"I know and I get that but I want to help him. That's the point. He's shutting me out and I can't bear it. Can't he just see that I miss him? Because it's like he doesn't care!"

"I'm sure he does care, Rylie. And as to why he's shutting you out, maybe he just doesn't want you to pity him."

"Well that's dumb and so macho- I miss him so much and it's not like I would judge him or anything," I leaned against my locker and heaved a sigh.

Olivia looked away, seemingly deep in thought before she spoke again. "Maybe you should try seeing him again and this time, don't take no for an answer."

"You mean...?"

"I mean, show Blake you love him no matter what and find a way to get to him. Tell him to his face that he's being an inconsiderate jerk and you can even hit him if you want to."

"Wait, really?"

"Of course not. I'm pulling your legs, Ry. Just find a way to get to him and I'm sure the rest will work itself out."

"Thanks for the advice, Liv," I wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug. "Anything for you, Ry."

The bell sounded just then and Olivia and I separated, making our way to our next class together.

***

I stood at the door to Blake's room, nervous and trying to work up the courage to knock. I'd gone through this routine a few times before and it'd never worked. All I'd ever gotten were notes but now I was determined to make sure that didn't happen today. If only I could get myself to knock...

Eventually, after a few pep talks and moments of almost giving up, I knocked on the door. As usual, I got no response. I knocked again. No response.

"Blake, I know you don't want to see me but I'm done waiting so I'm just gonna keep knocking until you open up," I said and began knocking ceaselessly.

Minutes passed and I was still knocking. My knuckles were sore but I was determined not to give up so easily.

"Hey!" a familiar voice said behind me, startling me. I turned to see Ava staring at me curiously. "Hey Ava. Just, uh... you know..." I trailed off.

"Well if you're looking for Blake, he's not in there."

"He isn't?"

"Yeah. You didn't hear it from me but," she leaned in, "he's up in the roof. Just get into the attic and look for the hatch."

"Oh okay. Thanks Ava," I flashed her a smile and made my way in the direction of the attic. I took the narrow stairs that led to the attic which was a floor above the rest of the house. I pushed open the door and walked into the dimly lit room.

Tons of stuff were scattered all around, some in boxes, others on the floor, most of them covered in dust. I waded through the stuff and found the hatch Ava had spoken about. I pushed it open and soon I was staring at a beautiful sunset and seated on a spot, leaning against the chimney was Blake Weston.

Being as quiet as I could, I crawled over to him and sat beside him. He didn't act as though he knew I was there and I took it to mean that he wasn't aware.

I looked away from him and at the sight unfolding in front of me.

"It's really beautiful out here, isn't it?" I mumbled, my eyes glued to the sunset.

"Yeah. It is," Blake's baritone voice rumbled, sending chills down my spine. I glanced over at him and felt my eyes water. It'd been so long since I heard his voice and I wished to hear it some more.

Blake didn't spare me a glance, keeping his face straight, his eyes taking in the sunset. The light reflected off his face giving it a sort of glow. I ached to touch his face and run my hands through his hair. I longed even more to have his lips on mine, to have him shower me with kisses all over.

The thought alone was alone to let me flush with embarrassment and glee and cry from the sadness of it all.

Slowly, I raised my shaky hand and brought it towards Blake's face, my desire now outweighing my pain. Suddenly, Blake caught my hand in mid air and turned cold eyes on me.

"Don't!" he deadpanned silently and dropped my hand. Tears burned my eyes and spilled over. His next words however hurt more than anything else ever could. "Let's break up."

My head snapped to the side and I stared at him, mouth agape. I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. My ears must be deceiving be because there's no way Blake just said what I thought I heard, right?

"W-What?" I whispered in a broken voice.

This time, he looked at me and repeated his words. "Let's break up."

"But why, Blake? Why, after all this time? I've waited for so long, giving you all the time and space you wanted and you're telling me this now?"

"That's the thing, Rylie. With all the time I spent alone, I really got to thinking and… I'm just not ready for a relationship right now."

"Is it because of Kristen?"

"No. It's not. It's because of me and you...just everything!" he shook his head and continued, not giving me an opportunity to talk. "When you and I decided to pretend that we were dating, I told myself that it was for my Grandma. I wanted to make her happy and think that I'd moved on even when I hadn't. For weeks, that's what I told myself to justify lying to the person who mattered most to me... I care about you, Rylie. I really do but... I can't stay with you knowing fully well that my grandma died, believing a lie about us."

"But that's the thing. We did start dating. We still are so technically, she died with the truth about us," I gripped his hand, desperately trying to stop what was happening.

Slowly, Blake released his hand from my grip and raised my chin up with a finger to meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Ry. I truly am. You're a special girl and I will forever be grateful for all the time we spent together…but with everything that happened with my grandma, I… I just can't be with you. She really meant a lot to me and I need time to get over that before I can be in a relationship with anyone, much less with you."

He stood up and made his way towards the hatch, leaving me devastated and angrier than I'd ever felt.

This wasn't over yet, I thought, wiping my tears and heading back inside. By the time I was out of the attic, Blake was already at the foot of the stairs.

"So... I guess that's it then?" I remarked spitefully. "You just break up with me because of your conscience and walk away, isn't that right? What about me, Blake? What about me?!"

Blake sighed and looked away from me.

"Then again, it doesn't really matter what happens to me now, does it? I mean, it's not like I waited for you for weeks, giving you the time YOU needed to recover at my own expense! But I don't matter to you. I've never mattered to you!"

"Rylie, you know that's not-"

"True?" I completed for him and scoffed. "Yeah right. If I really did matter to you, we wouldn't be here right now. For weeks, I put everything on hold for you while you grieved. I never had that opportunity. You know, she might have been your grandma, Blake but she was just as important to me as she was to you!"

As I yelled at him, I walked down the stairs until I was standing right in front of him.

"You promised never to hurt me. You told me you would never do what Asher did to me. You were kinda right in that aspect. Because you are so much more worse than he ever was!" I spat in his face. I stepped back and began walking away when Blake suddenly reached out and grabbed my wrist.

In my anger, I whirled around and hit him hard across the face. He stumbled backwards and fell to the floor. He might have been hurt but I didn't bother to check as I hurried down the stairs, anxious to get out of there.

I ran into Ava who was curious as to why I was crying but I merely brushed by her and ran out the door to my house. Once the door to my room was fastened behind me, I fell to the bed, buried my face in the pillow and let it all out.

Damn you Blake Weston! Damn you to hell!