Chapter 26: Chapter 26
CHAPTER 23
Teju fixed a gaze on Sam as he scurried like a mouse down the stairs. For the umpteenth time, he wondered how it came to be that someone like Sam was his best friend. The nature of their incongruity was so disquieting that it seemed it was a miracle that their friendship was still intact even after its prolonged existence. He wondered how he had maintained a relationship with such an unscrupulous entity for a long time; probably because Sam had never extended his unscrupulousness to him.
He wished he was in a better position to tell Sam’s wife about how Sam muzzled pleasure from despoiling their wedlock. But how could he tell on his best friend? It was absolutely objectionable- no matter how sincere his intention might be- for him to tell on Sam. He would not be sowing a seed of discord in their marriage, but he certainly would be wetting the seed Sam had already sown. What would be his gain, a clean conscience? How can he claim a clean conscience when he just lost his long-time friend’s trust of his own volition?
However, he was more than aware that if anything went wrong with Sam’s marriage, he would be very much responsible in a way that was inexcusable, no matter how strong his argument for exoneration was. For him to be cursed with the knowledge of all the atrocities Sam was committing against his wife, and the perpendicular disrespect Sam had for their resultant marriage vows was one matter. It was another matter for him to fail to act upon it, though he had always made his disapproving stand clearly known to Sam. It was also another issue that he had not been able to change Sam for the better. People might say ‘why were they friends then if he (Teju) cannot talk some sense in him (Sam)’. They do not know that even Sam had tried several times to talk some promiscuous sense into him but to no avail.
But also, it was a question of where his loyalty laid, with Sam or with his wife; sadly, in this case, he had to choose. Well, his loyalty lies with Sam, no matter how rotten he proves himself to be. Clearly, he was disinclined to sacrifice his friendship for Sam’s marriage. With his inactions and outright complacency, he was an unambiguous form of Pontius Pilate washing his hands before handing Christ over to his slayers; a decision that made him guilty of moral cowardice.
That was how it all started between Sam and Tiwa, and as time went by, she got to know he was Sam’s friend. Then, in early September, when the rains which had taken a respite during the previous month had returned, and the season of corns was reaching its climax, something happened between them. The hook-up had eventually turned into an unholy but serious relationship, only for Tiwa to find out by chance that Sam was married. It really broke her already multi-broken heart, and what followed was a surge of outpouring madness from her which almost ruined Sam’s marriage. Now, the same Tiwa had invited Sam and his wife to her party, only God knows why, and Sam on the other side would not hesitate to feed his outrageous libido of what it wants from a forbidden source.
As he put back the handkerchief into his pocket, he caught sight of somebody staring fixedly at him from the partying crowd. When he looked again, he saw Lara staring longingly at him. At first, he was confused, and for a moment he just stared stupidly at her, trying to figure out what her close gaze was supposed to decode. He later recovered himself and he waved briefly at her with an absolute fake and faint smile on his face. Lara walked up to him from the crowd and gave him a slight hug and a peck.
"How has tonight been?" Lara asked, beaming
"Great! It's been great. What about you?" Teju said, trying hard to suppress his uneasiness and unoriginality.
"Same here, except for one thing"
"What?" Teju pursued with a sincere smirk crawling up his face for the first time.
"Well, someone owes me a dance for a stretched time now, and despite the fact the person is here in this building, he hasn't paid me back" she confessed.
"Oh, who's this debtor, why can't you walk up to him and tell him he is a goddamn debtor?"
"Well, that's what I just did"
The smirk on Teju’sface disappeared instantly into obscurity. He never suspected he was the one in question, if he did, he would not have given any advice.
"Well... you know... Simi is here" Teju stammered
"No, she's not, it's just five minutes, she would never find out"
He suddenly felt something gathering with a rush between his legs. It was expedient for him to visit the gents before messing himself up in public.
"I got to go visit the gents, please," Teju said as he scampered past Lara and disappeared into the crowd.
He found the restroom at the nick of time. His senses did not register what was happening around him until he had released the burden under him into the water closet. Then he paused. He listened silently. He heard a soft and slow moaning as though it was from the distant, but he was sure it was within the restroom. He listened carefully again, and the moaning persisted. It was a feminine voice. Though he could not tell if he had barged into a female-labelled restroom, he knew it was not normal for moaning to come out of it.
He had to tip-toe to find where the moaning was coming from. Fortunately, the door of a toilet cubicle was left ajar. What he saw stung him like a scorpion. He saw Sam’s lips ensnared in a woman’s lips. He kissed with such vim that you would think his life depended on it. He was fondling and squeezing her bare breasts and her heavy pant-stripped buttocks interchangeably as though, something vital would come out of them. Then the woman knelt down before Sam and leaned forward. She buried his black erect crotch into her mouth like someone swallowing a whole finger of banana without biting it off. She drove it in and out of her mouth like someone licking a lollipop, smudging it with spittle and then stroking it with her hand. Sam was groaning, like a fat man sleeping.
Teju did not know precisely who the woman was, but he was damn sure she was married. She seemed like one of those women whose rich husbands had refused to untie their wrappers. Their husbands rather prefer to feed on young blood. Or perhaps, their husbands were incapable of satisfying their sexual needs. They have big paunches. They were Ministers for Cumming Quick, and on top of that, they snored.
Teju felt his crotch budging erect behind his trousers. To be in that restroom a minute longer was unsafe for him. He raced out of the restroom as if it was going to collapse. He ran into Sam’s wife. She was in a purple-coloured gown and gold-coloured high-heels. She looked worried, like someone frenetically looking for a needle in the middle of a desert.
“Oh, good evening Mr Teju, have you seen Sam?”
“Oh, I thought I saw him a while ago downstairs”
“I have checked everywhere downstairs, and I couldn’t find him”
Teju believed he could throw Sam’s marriage into jeopardy, and hurt his wife’s feeling if he let her wander into that restroom and see what he had seen. What he saw only made him run, but what was there could make her collapse.
“Have you checked the mini-bar?” Teju insisted as her face flare up in anger
“But he promised me not to have a drop of beer” she raved
“He promised you not to drink beer? Then he must be drinking liquors right now, better go in time before he drags us through the soil” Teju suggested
She left, half running and half walking. With the high-heels, she swayed right and left as if she would fall. Teju wanted to tell her to watch out lest she fall but decided against it. He made the sign of the cross before heaving a sigh of relief. Sam’s wife would not find him at the mini-bar, and she would surely come back upstairs. Sam had turned himself into a brazen dog, and this could be the night he would be busted. There were no clear demarcations that indicated if it was a male or female restroom. If Sam’s wife meandered into the restroom, then that was the end of them, Sam and his wife.
Teju re-entered the restroom. He would tell Sam to suspend his shag till a better time when he would not be at risk of getting caught. But it seemed the situation had graduated from romance to the ultimate part. Teju could hear the audible cries of the woman at the heat of the thing, and one thing became sure. Sam was a healthy shagaholic.
"Oh, James! James! Oh my God! James! Oh, come on!" Teju heard the woman’s cries. He wondered if James was the name Sam had told the woman or if it was just the name of the woman’s husband.
He wondered how he ought to interrupt the best part of the activity between the two infidels. But what puzzled him more was how unabashed they were, making out in a restroom where a whole lot of people were gathered. He was still contending what to do when he felt chilly, tender and arousing hands on his waist. Initially, he thought it was Simi. She could be funny at times.
When he turned, he saw Lara and he staggered. Lara was Simi’s course mate back then on campus, and he had got to know her when he got serious with courting Simi. She was the one who helped him ‘talk’ to Simi. When an African man was courting a mulish African woman, it was wise for him to court her friends along with her, so that they can ‘talk’ his words into her. Now here she was, sneaking up to him in the restroom and touching him, winking at him and biting her lower lips as if to say, ‘you’re delicious and I’d like to have a taste. Did she expect him to follow in the path of Sam? Well, she was not sufficient to turn him on.
He gestured to her to leave in the friendliest and most candid manner as if he owned the restroom. But instead, she came closer, her lips ready to arrest his lips. He ducked. Just as Joseph the dreamer had sprinted out on the unashamed seduction of Potiphar’s wife, so he did with Lara. The night was a dangerously strange night, just as he had foreseen it.
When he got downstairs, he saw his wife standing with Tiwa, both with glasses of champagne. He heard Simi telling Tiwa of their upcoming wedding anniversary. Clearly, Tiwa was happy for them. She smiled and told Simi how amazing that sounded. They looked up at him as he approached. They both smiled at him as if they knew of his gallantry in the restroom. As if they were proud of him. He was sweating. He felt thirsty. He took out his white handkerchief and wiped his face and neck.
“Didn’t you get a drink?” Tiwa asked, still smiling.
“Oh no, I’m actually just coming from the gents,” Teju said drily, trying hard to look away from her pursuing eyes. He was paranoid. Her eyes seemed to be x-raying him.
“Do you mind a glass of champagne?”
“Oh no, that will be great” Teju replied and watched Tiwa disappear with Simi into the crowd. He wondered why the tray-bearing waiters in white shirts and black waistcoats were so scarce. He needed a glass of champagne urgently to wash off the sour taste of that evening.