Chapter 44: Chapter 44

She sat there on the couch, watching him walk back and forth in the living room. He looks tensed and angry. He paused whenever he stopped talking to listen to what they were saying, then go ahead to pace around when he starts talking again.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose and cursed lowly. She had never seen him this angry. But his reason for being this way is understandable. His mother got engaged without even speaking to him first.

Shannon and Jim are not the same. They’re from two different worlds and he had tried to show her that since the day she started seeing him but she wouldn’t budge.

“I never stopped you from seeing any of your little human girlfriends. Why do I have to be the victim?” The pain in her voice made his body weak. He slumps down on the couch with a sigh. It was a sigh of defeat.

“Look, Max, I love you so much. And I appreciate that you’re looking after me—I really do. But I’m not a child, I know what I’m doing. Jim knows who I am and what I am. He accepts me and it’s very possible for a human and a werewolf to be together. We’re moving to his new house far away from here… safe from this crowd.”

Her last statement made him to jerk up and it scared Alice. “You’re really getting married?”

Shannon chuckled with slight amusement. “What’s the point of the ring and moving in with him then?”

Max sighs and began pacing and forth again. It’s the only thing keeping him sane from completely losing himself. “Crap… mom, really?” If he had known this would happen two years ago when they moved here, he wouldn’t have agreed. He’d rather stay in their pack, he’d rather be close to Alice.

He looks at Alice. She had her eyes glued to him. His mom spoke again but he was too occupied staring at Alice—she looks worried for him. She should be because she’s one of the reasons for his distress. “I’ll come over tonight,” he says and ended the call.

Alice was still staring at him, fiddling with her fingers as she waits to hear what he has to say. They haven’t spoken much since they got back home last night. She was paranoid on whether he knew she kissed Ryan or not. He had been quiet all day—too quiet. It stressed her to see how quiet he is without telling her the reason why.

She had asked him several times but he told her it was because his mother was engaged to a literal outcast she just met a year ago.

He slumps down on the couch, facing her. His eyes lids fall and he brushes a long sigh out to help calm the storm. It really worked because he felt less tense.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, observing his face. He didn’t budge. He kept his eyes closed and body relaxed. He wasn’t planning to answer her question because it would make him upset again and that’s the last thing he wanted. He has had enough in just less than a day.

“Are you doing something tonight?” He finally opened his eyes and set them on her. She gave him a quizzical look because she doesn’t know why he’d think she has something to do. She was off work for a week and the only person she knew aside him and Ryan was Brooke and they didn’t plan anything for the week. Brooke went on three days vacation to Hawaii so, she has nothing to do.

“No, no, not that I can remember,” she said having second thought on what she had just uttered. Maybe she should’ve pretended as though she had plans.

He looks at her for few seconds and nods. “We go out, tonight. What do you say? Dinner?”

**

The restaurant was filled up. It was a Saturday and it’s still easter—it explains why there were so many people in here. Max guided her in.

“You sure we’re going to get a table here? I mean we could get takeaways and it at home.”

He looks at her and clasped their hands together. He had never done this before—hold her hand when she’s nervous. It felt weird, it looked weird. He wants to do it more often. He wasn’t sure she’d like it because she had frozen to her spot as she stared down at their clinched hands.

“We could get you favourite and go back home,” he says with a smile. She looks up at him. He meant it. He would never force her to do what she isn’t pleased with. It’s another reason why he hadn’t told her that he likes her, because it would definitely look as though she’s doing what she isn’t pleased with. He doesn’t want her to like him back out of pity. That’s not what he wants. He wants her to love him because she wants to. He wants her to love him because he’s worth love. He wants her to love him because she finds him attractive. He wants her to love him because she believes that he can protect her. And right now, protecting her is the top priority.

“We could eat at the rooftop. It’s always amazing there at night.”

He wanted to groan and punch something but instead, he smiled. He knew she met Ryan at the rooftop because she told him. She talks a little bit too much about Ryan and it irritates him but he can’t help it. He was feeling better when she suddenly stopped talking about him until last night.

“I’ll grab our food and we’ll go home to the rooftop.” He gives her the car keys and head to the counter while she headed out.

It wasn’t that cold outside. It was perfect to have a night picnic outside on the rooftop, while enjoying the city’s view.

She enters the car and locked the door. Max had always told her whenever he wasn’t in the car, she should make sure the doors are locked until he comes back.

She relaxed back and her phone chimed, startling her to sit upright. She checks the caller, it was a group video call from Miley and Lily. She smiled—it meant they had fixed things because yesterday, they ended the call fighting.

“Uh, are you always dressed up? New York has changed you… a lot,” Miley said as soon as Alice answered the call.

“Or she’s on a date with her boss, Ryan. Are we even sure he’s her boss? Or she just said that so we wouldn’t suspect them?”

Alice rolled her eyes with a slight groan. She should’ve ignored the call. “Yesterday was easter, today’s still easter. Max wanted to take me out for dinner.”

“Who? The one you live with? The guy with curly brown hair that has a crush on you?” Lily had a quizzical look on her face.

Alice gasped with gaped eyes as Miley burst into fits of laughter. It annoyed Alice more.

“What?” Lily asked sardonically. “Wait… you don’t know? The guy obviously likes you.”

It appears everyone knew about Max little crush on her except her. “Did he tell you?” She asked Miley and she shook her head.

“It’s literally obvious. He’d stare at you forever without even blinking. He literally worships the floor you walk on. How could you not notice?”

She tightens her grip around her phone as though it was going to fall. Her head falls because she couldn’t even think of what to say. She had known Max in forever and she had never noticed any signs of adoration toward her—just friendship and loyalty.

She looks up and shakes her head. “I honestly don’t want to believe this.” She has to because the dots connect. She noticed how he gets annoyed whenever she talks about a guy. He always finds a way to end the conversation. He hates when she talks about Aaron. He hates when she brings the topic of Ryan.

“He invited Ryan to join us for dinner at his moms’ last night. No.” She shakes her head. “Maybe you guys misunderstood him. You see, we grew up together and it explains everything. Max just has a soft spot for me in his heart because I’m like his little sister and he’s like my little brother. We’re both the only child to our parents so, it explains a lot.”

“I’ve met Max twice but I’ve noticed the way he looks at you. Even the way he talks to you is different.”

“Again with the looking. Why is everyone so freaking obsessed with the way he looks at me? That literally how Max looks at people.”

“So, someone had already told you Max likes you?” Lily throws her the question, smirking.

She hears a knock on the driver’s window which made her to almost spurt her throat out. “Look, guys I have to go. And enough with this conversation.” She ends the call and unlock the door.

He sends the paperback at the backseat and looked at her. “Who was that?” He asked.

“Uhh… It’s… they uhm… Miley… Lily. Video chat…” she doesn’t know why she just did that but it sounds as if she was lying.

He sends her a quick distrustful look and started the car. She heaves a sigh and sunk into her seat.

The rest of the drive home was a silent one. She never said anything nor did he bother to speak. He’d occasionally look over to her and she’d pretend as if she didn’t notice him staring at her.

They didn’t take the turn that’d lead them home. They weren’t going home. “Where are we going?” She had to ask.

He doesn’t answer immediately. He concentrates on driving as he put on a sturdy look on his face as if he wasn’t the one holding her hand and smiling at her half an hour ago.

“My mom’s place,” he says plainly without looking at her.

He doesn’t look at her again until the car halts in the parking lot of Jim’s pent house. They were staring at each other, without speaking a word but the silence was louder than actually saying anything.

He looks at her with a worry and somehow disappointed look on his face. He was worried because her life was a muddle and she doesn’t even know how to figure things out. Each day, she gets more confused and complicated.

He takes his eyes off her and told her to wait before he stepped out of the car. She heaves a sigh and relaxed back because she was panicking when he told her they were going to his mother’s house. They were the last people she wants to see after they caught her and Ryan kissing. Her stomach flips because the feeling of Ryan’s lips just washed over her lips as his hands rove over her body. It feels as though he was holding her right now, like he was going in for a kiss—their third kiss.

She bites down her lip and closed her eyes.

She’s not going to fall for Ryan.

She’s not going to let him kiss her again.

She’s not going to mix business with pleasure.

She had made those promises to herself ever since she had known Ryan. She doesn’t plan to fall for him and she won’t. She doesn’t even feel the need to love him. She enjoyed every kiss they’ve did even though they’ve done it twice and it lasted less than two minutes—she doesn’t see herself using him just because she enjoys kissing or she finds him attractive. Ryan is a good guy and she believes he’d find someone that will love him wholeheartedly. But for her, she doesn’t want him.

Her phone chimed, jolting her from her reverie. She sighs and picked up the phone off her thighs. It was a call, from Aaron. She stares at the screen as a voice in her head screamed for to pick. She doesn’t want to but her finger routinely answered the call.

She placed the phone on her ear. She hadn’t spoken with him in a while because she doesn’t pick his calls. It wasn’t even because she doesn’t want to talk to him. She works till 9 pm and arrive home almost 10 pm. She’d eat dinner and sometimes sleep immediately. Sometimes watch TV with Max until she falls asleep on the couch and wake up the next day in her bed. Max never wakes her up from her sleep—he’d pick her up and take her to her room without waking her. She loves it when he does that.

“Hey…” he inhales a shaky breath and releases it. From the single word he uttered, she knew something was up.

“Aaron? Are you alright?” She asked.

He doesn’t answer right away. She hears him muffle something then weeps and exhales a shaky breath. He was crying but he doesn’t want her to know that. “When are you… are you coming back?” He asked, stuttering.

She doesn’t want to answer the question because even if she was coming back, she doesn’t want him to know. He’s the last person she wants to inform whether she was coming back or not.

“I wanna come see you. I’m coming to New York…”

“No,” she cuts in. Her heart sinks with a fear she doesn’t know the reason behind it. “Don’t, please. Don’t come here.” She shakes her head as though he was standing before her. “I’m coming back soon, okay? I will tell you when I do,” she said. It’s obviously a lie.

“You promise? Promise me, Alice. Promise you’ll come back to me. Promise we’ll be together. Please don’t say no.” He’s crying now and he wants her to know he’s crying. “I’m so in love with you that it hurts you’re not here.”

Her heart races in her chest so fast that she felt like it was going to burst through her ribcage. She placed a hand on her chest to restrain the rate of her heartbeat. It didn’t help because now she was gasping for air. She swallowed hard. Why was she even flustering?

“Aaron… I’m going to hang up now.”

“No. No, Alice… don’t…”

She cuts the call and her heartbeat straightaway curbed when she breathes out. It was as if his words and his voice were strangling her to her own grave.

She watches as Max walk over to the car and opened it. His was frowning but it instantly softens when their eyes met. She offers him and smile but he could obviously see through her. He noticed the worry and fear in her eyes and her body. He looks down on her phone—she was gripping it as though her life depended on it.

She noticed his eyes had darted down and she followed it. She exhales and loosen her grip on the phone.

“Shall we?” He mutters, moving his eyes back to her face. She smiled again and nodded. He nods too and started the car.

**

Max spread the mat on the floor and arranged the takeaway he bought for them. Alice was standing, looking at all his movements like he asked her to. She wanted to ask why they couldn’t use the table and chairs there but after wards, the mat seems to be better.

He motioned her to join him and she did. She sat across him and once again watch him bring out the food he bought from the bags. “I bought you fries and steak,” he said and looked at her. She was smiling under the glowing moon.

“You’re the sweetest.” She took one of the fries and tossed it in her mouth. She had her fries and steak while he only had salad. She knew he loves eating light in the night so, she doesn’t bother to ask him why.

They were done eating in a couple of minutes and sat there in silence until Max clear his throat. Her heart jump in her throat because she doesn’t know what he’s about to say. His face looks harder than it did couple of minutes ago.

“Alice…”

Her heart jumps again but she was careful to let it show. She doesn’t want him to know she was uneasy because it would look as though she had something to hide.

“Are you and Ryan…” he halts and breathes out. He darts his face down massages the bridge of his nose for couple of seconds before looking up at her again. Distress and uneasiness were written all over her face. Her eyes were gaped out and her mouth was parted.

“I just want to know if you guys are seeing each other,” he says forthrightly.

Her eyes were on him as she moved them from his right eye to his left. Max was sometimes hard to be read but tonight, his emotions were all over the place.

She began shaking her head and she could immediately see the relieve on his face. He smiles a light and nods. His eyes fall again and it was on her hands. She moves the take-out away and shifted closer until he was holding her hands.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. After I do, I don’t want anything to change between us…”

Oh God, Ryan and Lily were right. He’s about to tell her that he loves her. He’s about to tell her he wants to be her mate. He’s about to tell her that he wants to marry her.  He’s about to tell her that he wants her to have his babies.

She nods her head. Maybe she’s overthinking everything. His eyes search hers for few seconds then fall to her lips, then back to her eyes again.

“I'm so proud of you for doing your best to be okay. I'm so proud of you for waking up every day and trying. I'm so proud of you for being here today because I know some of your yesterdays were really hard. I don't know what you're going through but you are going to get through it. You are going to get through whatever you're going through. I hope you fight for yourself when no one else does and I hope you know you are worthy of your wildest dreams. You are someone worth fighting for. Keep going.”

She squeezes both his hands gently, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She doesn’t quite know how to react to what he had just said because he just made her teary. No one had ever told her those kind of words—no one had ever acknowledged how she has been struggling to pass each and every day. She’s typically a walking zombie rather than a werewolf.

“Alice…” he calls out when she doesn’t say anything. He’s looking at her and the calmness in his eyes was contagious. Her smile spreads wider.

She’s beautiful and her smile made him want to kiss her all the time. He’s going to do that tonight—he’s going to kiss her. Because that’s the only thing he needs to do and maybe he’d get over her if he has an idea of how her lips tastes like. Maybe he’d get addicted to her after this kiss. He doesn’t care which happens. And he most certainly doesn’t care where the kiss takes them to. He just wants to be there for her as long as she wants him to.

He's leaning closer and she doesn’t lean back. She’s just sitting still, staring at him and waiting for him to do whatever he has in mind which was kissing her.

They were so close; she could feel the heat of his body warming hers. His eyes squint and his mouth smirked—in this smile that made her know he was thinking of something. He brought his fingers up and brushed the side of her face. She closed her eyes as she exhaled, relishing to warmth of his fingers.

If she doesn’t back out, she was going to regret it for the rest of her life because not only would she not see him as she does because, she might as well lose him. Everything would be complicating for the both of them. And she would regret pulling back as well because it meant she’d never see him the way he wants her to and she was afraid that their friendship would be ruined by that. Both verdicts were unclear and obfuscating.

“Alice?” They heard Ryan’s voice from the entrance of the rooftop before their lips even touched.

Alice briskly pulls back and got to her feet. Max didn’t react immediately. He barely even moved. The only thing he did was look up at Ryan and cursed under his breath.

Of course, Ryan had to step in and ruined their not-so-perfect moment.