Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Sometimes life doesn’t go the way you want it. You’d wish for something, hoping it would happen and even have a chance of having it but watch it wash away just when you were close to getting it.

It’s the same with her relationship with Dominic—she hoped it works out. She really wanted things to go smoothly and they’d have a happy ending but, it’s been a month now and here she was living in his mother’s house for the past four weeks.

She only stayed back, to think things through and made her decision.

She had made up her mind.

She was moving back to Scuris pack today and try to forget Dominic ever existed despite how hard that is. The first step to forgetting him is leaving where she’d see him every day. It’s crazy how you’d talk to someone every day, share everything, get into each other’s space just so one day you’d wake up and not even spare each other a glance.

Alice winces, not because of that thought but because she just pushed open the entrance door of Dominic’s house. She walked in, looking around. A sigh escaped her lips as she cribs her hands on her waist. It’s only been four weeks but it felt like she hasn’t been here in forever.

It was morning so; she knew he’d be at work. It gives her enough time to pack up what she can and leave before he gets back. Lily insisted on helping her but she rejected. She wanted to have her last peaceful moments in here without anyone interrupting.

So, she started with the kitchen. She stepped inside as a taciturn feeling crawling into her skin. She sighs, her heart shrinking with harrowing stances.

She brushed the tip of her fingers on the counter—oh sweet, sweet memories. Dominic, pancakes, waffles, flour, watermelon, hugs and kisses…

A huge wave of anxiety and fear rolls over her so intensely, she had to hold onto the counter for support before she passes out.

She genuinely didn’t expect everything between her and Dominic to turn out this way because she somehow had hopes in working things out with him. She somehow hoped he’d propose to her and she’d say yes without even having a second thought. She had imagined how their wedding was going to be—simple but elegant. She wanted to have their wedding by the waterfall he took her. It was the first spot she had realized she doesn’t hate him anymore.

But then Aaron showed up and reminded her he existed—reminded her of how she feels about him. And it really sucks that she’s still sticking to him despite how he’d treated her like trash. Maybe that’s what she is—maybe she’s nothing.  Just something to be disposed of by the one she really wants to be with and he was the one that even wanted her at the first place.

It's so appalling how you’d promise someone to love them and promise to be by their side no matter what, only to neglect them and leave them broken and drowning in what you left them—drowning in what they thought would be forever.

“He did what?”

A faint gasp escaped her lips. It was Dominic’s voice and he was walking towards the kitchen. She looked around, thinking whether to hide or face him. He was walking really fast towards the door.

She hurriedly walked around the kitchen island and ducked. She heard him push open the door and walked to the sink. He dropped the mug he was holding in the sink and stood there. His back was facing her and if he decided to turn, she’d be the first thing he’d see. She hopes he doesn’t. It would be too awkward and embarrassing for her to be found lurking around her mate’s house. Maybe she should’ve called or texted him to let him know she was coming to get her things. But she doesn’t want him to know she was leaving. She doesn’t need to see the look on his face when he finds out that she’s going back home.

“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to fucking kill him when I get there. Just stay in your room,” he said. She couldn’t make up who he was talking to on phone but he really sounded pissed.

He ended the call and shoved his phone in his jeans pocket. “Fucking asshole,” he cursed as he gripped on the sink and dropping his head between his shoulders. He stayed in that position for a bit. And it gave her enough time to drool over his physique instead of escaping before he finds out she’s behind him. Everything about this man is hot. Even when he’s angry—he looks hotter when he’s angry, but not as hot as when he gets out the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist.

She watched as he moved a hand to the back of his neck and massaged it as he lets out a heavy sigh. That’s hot.

“Why are you hiding behind the kitchen island, Alice?”

She felt her heart just to her throat when he said that. She could feel the numbness washing her entire body as she forces herself to get on her feet.

He turned around and settle his eyes on hers. She always wondered what crosses his mind when his eyes meet hers. Now, he just stared at her while he waits for her to give him an answer.

She should’ve texted before showing up in his house.

“I…” her words waned. Everything was weird because a month ago he didn’t question her for doing anything in the house. It used to be their house but it seems like he had taken the title away from her already.

“I’m just here to grab somethings in my…” she sighs.  She doesn’t know whether it was still her room or not. “I’ll be out of your hair before you know it.” She heads toward the door.

“Alice,” he calls out. His voice was deep yet calming. She halts without even knowing why but his voice was just powerful. She didn’t turn to look at him because everything time she looks at his face, she gets tempted to kiss him. To walk close, cradle his face and nibble her way around his lips. It’s exasperating how she’s so sexually attracted to him even at the times he’s not even trying to seduce her.

“You’re leaving,” he said. It didn’t come out as a question. He just knew it.

She heaves a sigh and summoned the courage to face him. His thick black eyebrows had drawn together as his eyes stayed glassy for a moment. It almost as though he didn’t want her to leave. He doesn’t want her to leave.

“I just need space…”

“You’ve literally been at my moms’ for the past one month, Alice. What more space do you want?”

She observed his face for a moment. He’s angry but behind that anger was a broken man.

“I need to stay as far away from you as I can to figure things out, because I don’t know exactly what I want right now.” She didn’t mean to say it in a hurtful way but Dominic took offense, because he just winced and looked away.

He placed both his hands on his waist as he heaved a sigh of frustration. He paced back and forth for a minute but he halts back to his position and looked at her.

“How long do you need?” He asked her. He was trying his best to stay calm but it was hard to, because he’s about to watch her slip away from him.

She folds her arms over her chest because scrupulously doesn’t want to answer that.

She looks away from him and shoulder-shrugs his question. He nods as he lowered his head.

“You’re choosing him over me, aren’t you?”

She snaps her head toward him, clearly taken aback by his invasive remark.

He could see the rage wash over her and his eyes immediately grew wide with fear. He shakes his head, trying to get her to calm down. “No, no, Alice. I don’t mean it this way. I’m sorry, okay? I would never say anything that’d upset you.” He just said something that upset her yet he’s claiming not to.

It made her to scoff and roll her eyes in annoyance. Her arms were still crossed over her chest. “So what if I decide to go back to him? If that is what makes me happy, I suppose you don’t have a problem with that.

“Oh,” he mumbled, attempting to hide the immense jealousy running through him. He pressed his lips together because he needn’t to make a comment but his reaction obviously meant he wanted to say so many things to her.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and kicked the air—anything to calm him down.

Alice rolled her eyes again. She wanted him to say something, anything. Even if it would irritate her. She didn’t want to leave not just yet but it seems like he’s done talking. So, she turned to leave.

“Alice, wait.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes again. Her eyeballs were certainly going to start hurting if she decides to roll them to the back of her head again.

“Look, Dominic,” she started, turning around. “I honestly don’t know what I feel or what’s going on. I just need space from you and everything that’s happening. The best thing I can do for myself is leave here and I expect you to respect my choice by not coming after me. I expect you to respect my choice not come after me even if I decide to choose him.” She meant everything she said even though it would be hard to keep herself away from him.

She’s not just going to forget about him even if she tried to. She’s never going to forget him no matter what happens, no matter what she chooses afterwards.

She’s never going to fully get over him. She’s going to have those nights when all the regret and pain comes rushing back at once. She’s going to miss him with all of her heart but she’s going to be okay.

“What?” He mused to himself. He pulls his hands from his pockets and squeezes the back of his neck as he spins to face the other direction. He stretches his back while he sucks in a breath. He seems to be holding that breath in while he silently counts in an attempt to subdue the anger building in him.

He grips the counter and let his head fall. He’s chanting something to himself but she couldn’t make up what he was saying. It’s daunting because she has never seen that side of him before.

She breathes out to keep her cool. “I have to pack up my things now,” she says and turn on her heels. She didn’t stop even when he called her name again. If she delayed another minute, things might get unhealthier and it was the last thing she wanted. She was avoiding any sort of problem that’d try coming her way especially with him.

She walks up the stairs and she hear him following her. He doesn’t say anything and she didn’t bother to stop until she gets to her room, or whatever it is now.

She opens her closet and dragged her suitcase out, and dropped it flat on the bed.

He enters the room also and closed the door behind him before he rests on it. he folds his arms over his chest and watches her every move.

She shoved reasonable amount of clothes into the suitcase and zipped it close. His presence was making her to feel tensed and all she wanted was to be out of his house.

He was still by the door when she walked towards it. She furrowed her brows and stared at him. He knew what she meant. He sighs and straighten himself up. “Can I at least take you home?” He offered.

Just so he’d convince her to turn around and follow him back home? That’s never going to happen. “I’ve asked my friends to come for me. They’re already waiting for me by the gates.”

He was still blocking her way despite rejecting his offer. He pauses, staring at her for longer than she wants him to. “Are you going to get out of the way or not?” She asks tediously.

He lowered his head and shifts enough to open the door. She opened the door and stormed out without sparing him a glance.

Alice didn’t have to think twice on this. It was better for her to stay away from him at least until she figures out what she wanted.

She had never been so muddled and dejected in her life like this. Everything was jumbled up and too much to take in at once. It feels like she’ll never get out of this mess—like she’s stuck in a clueless maze with no exist. It feels like she’s solving a puzzle that has no face.

Dominic has lied to her or kept secrets from her, or both. She finding it hard to give him a benefit of doubt about that. She had tried to see things from his perspective but it doesn’t match. The last piece of puzzle doesn’t match with the last puzzler. He has no reason to hide anything from her—he should’ve told her everything even if she was going to choose Aaron. If he loved her enough like he said and trusted her, he wouldn’t have doubted her.

Now, he has lost her and her trust.

She stepped out and the first person she laid eyes on were Lily who smiled at her. It was a pathetic attempt to hide her agony. It’s obvious that she was on the verge of tearing up.

It made Alice’s heart to coil with soreness. She swallowed the painful bitterness down her throat and approached her. “Hey,” she said, grabbing both Lily’s hand.

Lily looked down at their intertwined hands and smiled genuinely. “You’re really leaving,” she said. It didn’t come out as a question. She knew Alice was leaving. Because why would Miley and Daniel be here all of a sudden?

Alice cupped her face in her hands and lifted her head up. Her eyes were glassy and it added misery to Alice’s agony. “I just can’t keep staying here without any purpose.”

Lily nodded—she hates that its true. Alice can’t keep living with them if her and Dominic have somewhat broken things up.

“So that’s it?”

“That’s what?”

“You’re not coming back I know.” When Lily said that, should could hear the pain in her voice. “You’re literally my only friend here and now you’re leaving.”

A wave of angst and misery rolls over her that made her go feeble. Her hands fall off Lily’s face and looked down. She doesn’t know why but leaving Lily hurts more than leaving her brother. This feels like the real breakup, not the one she had with Dominic minutes ago.

“I promise we’ll stay in touch and we will always be friends. I just can’t make you one promise—I can’t promise that I’ll be back here because I don’t know how things would turn out between me and your brother. God knows I wanted things to work out between us but it’s just… things just never fall into places between us. I need time to figure out what I need. Until then, I will always be with you whether I’m here or not.”

Lily stared at her as she chewed her lips to suppress the tears. She didn’t cry… she’s not that soft even at the toughest moments of her life. She is dejected, so dejected but she isn’t as soft as she wants to be.

She extended her arms and pull Alice in a hug. She closed her eyes and smiled—this hug just made her feel ten times better than Alice’s assuring words did.

She breaks the hug and pinch Alice’s cheek. “I won’t be made at you even if you decide never to step foot here. Just promise me one thing.” Alice nods her head as her eyes lit up with anticipation.

“Promise me that you’ll make the right decision. Promise me that you’ll keep yourself safe and stay away from anything that’ll hurt you even if you badly want that thing.”

Alice looks at her hesitantly. She knew what Lily meant by staying away from anything that’ll hurt her. She meant Aaron. Aaron that something hurt her and she can’t deny the fact that Lily was right. She was ready to make the right choices to protect her mental health even if it meant erasing Aaron from her life.

“I promise,” she muttered as she gave Lily an assuring smile.

They gave each other one last hug before parting ways.

Alice haven’t said much ever since they began their thirty minutes journey. Miley and Daniel tried to cheer her up by cracking jokes but she doesn’t seem interested in whatever they were saying.

She had her brain occupied with the two men confusing her life until they arrive at the gates of Scuris pack.

She raised her head up and sighed as they strolled in. It was in the middle of the day and everyone seemed to be busy. Her stomach flipped as with each step, she felt anxious. It wasn’t because everyone was gawking at her and whispering blathers—she hasn’t told her parents she was coming back.

She doesn’t know how they’d react or how they’d feel but she was sure her father would be disenchanted.

Miley and Daniel stopped when they reached her porch. She dropped her suitcase by the door and turned around to look at them.

“Do you need us to go in with you?” Miley asked because she knew Alice was paranoid by encountering with her parents.

She gave them an assuring smile. “As long as they don’t kill me, I’m good.”

She turned around and twists the door knob open.

The living room was empty but as soon as she walked further in, her mother peaked from the hallway. Her brows shoot up in shock but then she smiled. “Alice?”

She walked toward her. Her smile instantly fades when she spotted Alice’s suitcase. She raises her head to look at her daughter, afraid to find out what her mind was telling her.

A great tremor overtook her as she nodded her head. Unhappy lines etched up on Linda’s face as she approached her with extended arms. “I am so sorry about that, honey.” She enfolds her in a gentle hug, and she buries her face in her shoulder, sobbing quietly.

A long moment later, she pulls away, smiling a little through her tears. “I’ll be fine,” she mouthed and inhaled deeply.

She wipes her teary face just as her father walked into the house. He was by the woodworks when he heard the news about his daughter returning home from a failed relationship.

“Alice?” He calls her. He clearly looked worried. “Are you okay?” He asked, gentle grabbing her by her shoulders to examine her. She smiled at him and nodded. “I’m fine, I promise.”

He lets out a sigh of relief immediately as he took her in her arms. “What happened?” He asked her, pulling away.

She waves it off. “We just decided to take a break because things were just not right at the moment.”

Her father searches her face for a moment before looking away. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking entirely but it’s obvious he looked guilty because he brought the idea of Dominic since day one.

“Don’t be hard on yourself, dad. It’s not your fault. I accepted him without you forcing him on me. It’s not your fault that we broke up. We just need to figure things out and to know whether we can continue with the relationship or not.”

Her encouraging words really lifted some of the heavy weight he felt sitting on his chest. He gave her a thoughtful smile as he nodded.

“And before then, I’m moving to New York to live with Ryan.”