Chapter 60: Chapter 60

Chapter 60:

Tatiana’s P.O.V

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the seat, relieved that the dreadful flight was over and to be finally away from Damien.

But my relief was short-lived as the cab came to a stop a couple feet away from the airport terminus and none other than Damien Romano climbed into the back seat with me.

“The cab’s taken.” I told him curtly before I closed my eyes again, trying to avoid the sting of tears.

“I just want to talk.” He told be before telling the cab his location and settling back into the seat.

I stayed quiet and turned my head towards the window to avoid his gaze that was burning holes in me. There were a thousand things that came to my mind but I couldn’t transform them into words. What was I supposed to say? I’m sorry I fell in love with you? I’d rather cut my tongue first. I couldn’t-wouldn’t beg for someone’s affection, wouldn’t beg them to return the feeling just because of what I felt. I couldn’t repeat the same mistake that happened with Connor. I won’t. No matter how much it hurt.

Finally, Damien spoke.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” His voice was a soft whisper against my ear, his breath caressing my cheek. “I didn’t realize it then, I’m sorry. You know I’m not ready for a commitment, not after-“

“I never asked you for a commitment.” I said cutting him off. For Christ’s sake, if he spoke that wretched gold-digger’s name once again, I’m going to slap him!

I turned to face him finally and once again, the impact of those icy blue eyes staggered me. But I was done letting my emotions and my hormones rule my life. “In fact, if I remember correctly, I kept my part of the deal till the very end. You were the one who got possessive to the point where you resorted to blaming me for wearing short clothing and enticing other men. You were the one who kept on buying me gifts, something that defines the complete opposite of a no-strings relationship. And it was you who kept on spending the nights in my bed, something that is also big no-no in a no-strings relationship.” I censored my voice when I found the cabbie looking through the rear-view mirror with open interest. “All I did was tell you that I love you. My feelings, my responsibility. My only mistake had been admitting it to you.”

“It wasn’t a mistake, damnit!” Damien snapped. “I wish I could explain things better to you.”

“You already have. A million times.” I told him, tired of his whining. “All you do is whine about how you married a woman just because she told you she was having your baby, spent a couple months with her and then found out that she was cheating on you with your friend and that the baby was his. Then what makes your so case special, huh? What makes it so different from the rest of the thousands of cases that you handle on a daily basis? You told me yourself that you’ve successfully divorced three hundred and seventy nine clients over the past five years, then what exactly was different with your own divorce? Shit happens every day, Damien. Some of us just suck it up and deal with it.”

I realized too late what I’d given away and Damien was an intelligent man. It didn’t take him long to catch on. “Who was he?”

“No strings, remember?” I reminded him, refusing to be the object of his pity.

“I told you my story.”

“You chose to share your story with me. I’m choosing not to.”

“Damnit, Tia!” Damien snapped. “Why are you being so difficult?”

I looked him straight in the eye as I spoke next. “This is who I am. This is who I’ve always been.”

I know he saw the truth in my eyes and I saw the confusion in his. He was fighting his own urges, his feelings. “You weren’t like this with me.”He said finally.

“No.” I shook my head. “You just don’t know me when I’m not sucking your cock.”

The words had been deliberate and the instant heat in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by either of us. But what I didn’t expect was the tightening around my heart, the twisting in my stomach. We’d shared some beautiful moments together, moments that would be with me till the day I die. But that was all that remained between us now. Moments. Nothing else.

Damien’s P.O.V:

Why couldn’t I keep my head straight when I was with Tatiana? Why did I always end up tongue tied and kept repeating the same useless words whenever I was with her?

Tia was right. There was absolutely no difference between the divorce cases I handled on a regular basis and my own, but for the brief moments that we’d been together, Marian had given me something to look forward to, even though we’d been living a lie. A baby.

To come home to a family, to have a little child come running into my arms after I returned from work. That had been a beautiful dream. And now I was having them again. And this time, I could picture that child clearly. Red hair and blue eyes. A miniature version of me and Tia. And I was sure the hurt this time would be tenfold if I allowed myself to dream again and it shattered just like it had before.

“Look,” I tried again. “I’m sorry for hurting you. You’re a beautiful, brilliant woman, Tia and I’m sure you’ll...”

Get someone far better than me out there, who’ll sweep you off your feet and treat you like a Queen; just like you deserve to be treated.

But I couldn’t say it. Those words just got stuck in my throat and wouldn’t come out. In fact, just thinking about another man touching her, tracing their hands on her beautiful milky skin, kissing her, doing everything that we’ve done together...No! It was too difficult. I just couldn’t-wouldn’t imagine her with anyone other than me.

“Stop the cab.” I called out to the driver and he stopped the car instantly.

“What?” Tia seemed just as surprised as the cabbie as she turned to me with weary eyes.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” I can’t stay another minute with her if I want to stay sane by the end of tonight. I’d end up repeating the same mistake. I’d end up in bed with her and end up breaking her heart all over again come morning. So I got out of the cab with my luggage and paid the cabbie the exact fair for the entire trip. “Take her home safely.”

I told the cabbie and then turned away, refusing to look back and see the pain in Tia’s face. I just couldn’t. I wasn’t that strong and my will was already faltering.

I started walking in the opposite direction and heard the cab drive away from the sidewalk, taking my heart along with it.