Chapter 45: Chapter 45
"No!" he answered immediately and grabbed my wrist. I saw the desperation in his eyes and had to turn it into pure hatred.
"Esteban," I admonished him and pulled my hand away from him again. "You were right. I didn't deserve Reahlyn and you didn't deserve me. Haven't you made a woman jump to her death?! I don't want to be next! So stay away from me!" I yelled, looking at him blankly. His eyes seemed to go dark. There was no more passion, not even despair... It was scary...
"Oh my brother," I heard Pablo behind me, who then put his arm around my shoulder and looked back and forth between us, smiling. "So many emotions in such a place? It's really fascinating."
Esteban and I were still looking at each other, not paying any attention to Pablo and while I appeared strong on the outside, on the inside I wanted nothing more than to take my words back and tell him I loved him so much it hurt...
"Esteban," Pablo then turned to him, but Esteban didn't move anymore. He stared through me as if I were a ghost, as if I wasn't there... as if I had died for him.
"I know you only had a wife and unfortunately she left us. May she rest in peace," came Pablo's voice again, who took his arm from my shoulder and stood in front of Esteban. "But haven't I always told you that hookers aren't for you. They turn your head. She's done that to me before and yeah, I wasn't always fair to her either. She just wanted to hurt me with you. More you weren't for her."
I would have loved to have screamed everything out. everything i knew Everything I kept hidden inside of me, but I just stood there in silence and watched the heart of the man I trusted most being ripped out in the most cruel way.The otherwise composed, cold expression disappeared. At that moment you could tell from his posture just how broken he was.
"Now please come to my office. I have something to say to you and love, my love, come and give me a kiss."
Esteban's eyes met mine and I just hoped he wouldn't see it, but he wanted to inflict this pain on himself. He wanted to hate me...
I walked up to Pablo, smiling so brightly that even the most skeptical person would have bought my happiness, and then stood on tiptoe in front of Pablo.
"My beauty," Pablo grinned, gripping my hair tightly in his hand so that I took a deep breath and he turned my face towards Esteban as he did so.
Then I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to look at him for a second longer.
Pablo's lips touched mine and his nasty tongue found its way to mine while his hands slid up my bottom under the dress.
I stifled crying
Suppressed screaming
And even if there was a strong woman on the outside, inside I was sitting under my covers in my room as a little girl.
I held a flashlight in my trembling hands and always thought my stepfather wouldn't come if I just quietly hid in the darkness.
But he came, just like all the other demons come and it doesn't matter if you're in hiding, how strong you are or how many people want to help you... As long as there's something in the world you love, they have it full control over you...
After the devil's kiss, I didn't dare look in Esteban's direction, let alone his eyes, so I turned away and sat down on the stool again, where Josh still seemed to ignore me.
"Make me some tequila, please," I whispered softly, then glanced to my side where I saw Esteban and Pablo disappear down the hall.
It was almost insane for me to have hurt him like that, and even though I'd slammed such harsh words at him, I wished he hadn't believed me. That he knew deep down that I would do anything for him and that nothing that had passed my lips in the last few minutes was true...
But he believed me because he no longer believed in himself...
"You look like shit," Josh snapped me out of my thoughts, and when my gaze fell back his way, he was just throwing the tequila in front of me.
I met his warm eyes for a moment as he played with his tongue piercing, then looked down to pick up the tequila in my trembling hand.
"It's a shitty time," I replied with a pained smile and drank up the shot quickly, putting the small glass down again and tapping it twice with my index finger.
"Even though you made it more than clear to me that you don't want any help, I still offer to always be there for you," he said with an encouraging smile and poured me another tequila.
"I'll be back, as always."
I took the tequila, turned on the stool towards the stage and watched the end of the show. Natalia was really good. Just like me in the beginning, but even she would break... It was only a matter of time.
"Hello," a dark voice spoke to me and I didn't even look over. I didn't care who was standing next to me.
"Hello," I replied, annoyed, and drank the tequila to turn back to Josh.
"May I buy you a drink," the guy insisted and after rolling my eyes, I finally looked over at him.
He was tall, slim, and somehow looked more like a good family man than someone who found women for a night.
I didn't answer him, just pointed to my empty glass and he turned to Josh while my gaze fell back to the darkened hallway. How am I ever going to carry on normally? How am I supposed to live with that? Or was I exaggerating?
After all, I only knew Esteban and Reahlyn a few days... Maybe I overreacted, put too much emotion into something that wasn't really there...
"Shit!" I unintentionally cursed loudly and was immediately stared at stupidly by two men next to me.
"What are you staring at?!" I snapped, but Josh pulled me around by the shoulder so that all I could see was his face.
The drinks from the men and the shots seemed slow. My head was slightly dizzy, but I wanted to drink more. So much until I would forget everything.
"Stop it. You need to calm down," Josh said to me, but I just shook my head, laughing.
"Calm down?" I then repeated hysterically and got up to quickly disappear in the direction of the cloakroom.
I just wanted to go home and sleep. Forget everything at least for a short time and collect myself, so I pulled my coat over the dress and was just about to leave the small room when one of the men I had just snapped at came towards me.
"Such a big mouth for such sweet lips," he mumbled, stroking my lips with his finger, which sent a shiver down my spine. He smelled strongly of beer and cigarettes, was a bit overweight and wore a red sweater. The beard wasn't well groomed, the few hairs on his head were greasy, and overall he just looked disgusting.
"Get your deck fingers off my face," I warned, taking a step back. "Joooosh!" I then shouted loudly through the open door, but the guy just gave me his drunken expression and didn't seem to want to leave me alone.
He closed the door behind him and slowly walked towards me and when he put his hand on my bare thigh, which made my heart stop beating, I jerked my knee up and rammed it full force into his balls.
"You stupid bitch," he yelled, cringing. I took the chance and tried to get past him when he hit me in the face with his elbow so hard that my eyes went black and I fell sideways to the ground.
"Who do you think you are!?!?" he yelled angrily and stood over me threateningly, but before he could do anything else, Pablo suddenly burst in and looked back and forth between me and the guy in horror.
He didn't say anything, just grabbed the guy's neck and turned to me briefly while I rolled onto my back with my sore nose and took a deep breath.
"I'll be right with you," he said soothingly and I just nodded, only to watch as he violently tore the guy out of the cloakroom and closed the door.
I didn't care what he was up to. I just stared at the ceiling and couldn't feel my face anymore. My head almost exploded and I was so exhausted I could have fallen asleep right here...
It wasn't long before the door opened again and without knowing who was even coming in, I started to cry bitterly.
"Everything will be fine, I'm here," Pablo said and wanted to lift me onto his arms, but I slapped his hands away and turned away from him.
Only tormented sounds came from my lips and I felt that Pablo was stroking my trembling back, but I didn't pay attention to him or his touch. I couldn't take it any longer...