Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Looking out into the darkness, at some point I recognized the small forest path that I had driven along with Esteban today. How much had happened in such a short time? It felt unreal and for a moment I had to think about what would have happened if I hadn't gotten in the car...

"You can let me out of here," I then turned to the driver, handing him the money while he looked around nervously.

"Are you sure that we're in the right place?" he then asked confused, but I didn't even give him an answer. All I wanted was Reahlyn, the man who could hold me. To the man who made me dream.

Of course, Esteban kept flashing through my mind as the taxi disappeared and I carefully placed one foot in front of the other, already shivering slightly from the cold.

His dark eyes that kept captivating me. His last look in the office looking so helpless and then I remembered how passionate the sex with him was.

Suddenly my decision felt wrong, but when I saw the fire in the distance, I shook it all off and my steps quickened.

Now my guns were gone. There was no more abuse. No Esteban, no Pablo and no Josh.

Here and now there was only the silent, pitch-dark forest and the fire in the distance, lighting my way out of the darkness.

As I got closer, I recognized a few people still sitting around the fire, but Reahlyn didn't seem to be among them, so I immediately headed for his hut, which I knew was always open.

I hesitantly put my hand on the latch and opened the door, only to immediately notice the flickering light of the television, from which soft voices also emerged at the same time.

The pleasant smell immediately made me take a deep breath and then my eyes fell on the bed where Reahlyn lay topless on her back and seemed to be asleep.

I closed the door quietly behind me, then took off my jeans and sweater and moved close to the bed to give him a fascinated look.

Standing there only in my panties, I was overcome by the creeping feeling of having to surrender to him, out of gratitude for having found a place of peace with him, but I immediately suppressed this thought and decided not to be reduced to just my body anymore. as Pablo would like it to be.

Willy was right. I was more and deserved to be accepted without having to surrender.

I quietly crept to his closet and grabbed the first shirt I could find. It was plain, black and when I put it on it fell just over my bottom. It smelled so familiar... like a freshly washed dog...

Then, eager for his presence, I crawled onto the bed next to Reahlyn and snuggled up against his warm, strong body.

He breathed deeply and relaxed, apparently not noticing me and then lying in his arms I closed my tired eyes to let go of all my thoughts of all the bad.

****

Exhausted, I opened my lids and immediately looked at the window to see that it was still dark outside, which made me want to close my eyes again until I suddenly felt Reahlyn rubbing my back.

I stopped breathing out of nervousness and lifted my head slightly to look straight into his eyes, which were staring at me with a warmth that made me snuggle even closer to his muscular torso.

I carefully placed my leg over his hip, my arm over his torso and snuggled my face into the crook of his neck, which immediately caused the muscles in his torso to tighten slightly.

His breathing quickened, and when I ran my fingertips over the skin on his arm, I could immediately feel the goosebumps that my touch caused in him.

Taken by this sudden tension and tingling, I raised my head and looked deep into his eyes while he caressed my cheek tenderly.

The feelings he triggered in me were completely new to me. I've known sex, known passion, and known abuse, but this was different. It had scared me this morning, but now I understood that I didn't have to be afraid at all, on the contrary, I could feel absolutely safe...

"Are you alright?" he asked me in a whisper, gently running his hand through my hair, letting me relax and close my eyes, and for the first time in my life, I answered the question with the truth. With him I had the feeling that he would understand every truth...

"No, I'm not feeling well," I breathed softly and opened my eyes again, from which a few tears ran down my cheeks. Normally I felt ashamed to be so vulnerable, but not with him...

"Come here, little one."

He pulled me tightly to his chest, then carefully covered me up and gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead to hold me tight.

His body radiated such a beautiful warmth and even though we didn't look into each other's eyes right now, even though we didn't speak a word, I suddenly felt a strong connection to him, as if I'd known him all my life.

I felt so safe and taken by this feeling that I just closed my wet eyes and dreamily listened to his heartbeat while he tenderly stroked my back.

He didn't ask any questions, didn't respond with curiosity, didn't want to know anything about me and was only there for me, which quickly put me back into a deep, restful sleep...

Only a little light came through the curtains into the hut while I lay awake for a while, stroking Reahlyn's arm in a constant rhythm. Touching his skin gave me a familiar feeling and I was fascinated by the tingle that this touch caused in my fingertips.

He was awake too, I could feel that from his sometimes faster heartbeat and also from the fact that he tenderly scratched my back again and again, which gave me pleasant goosebumps.

He was probably just as lost in his thoughts as I was, or he just didn't want to dissolve this intimate moment full of tenderness. I didn't know, but I knew that I could have stayed here for ages until my stomach suddenly gave a loud lurch, which made me totally uncomfortable in this silence.

"When was the last time you ate something, little one?" he asked quietly and carefully raised his upper body to eye me with concern. His ice blue eyes darted across my face and radiated an incredible warmth as always, while my eyes fell on his tousled brown hair. He just looked incredibly good.

I thought about it for a moment and couldn't think of it myself. I had taken a few bites from Willy's fish, which he had roasted over the fire in the barrel, but it wasn't more than two small pieces.

I shrugged unknowingly and gave him an embarrassed look. I felt really bad about the last day, even though I wasn't dating Reahlyn at all, but in his presence, having slept with Esteban suddenly felt completely wrong.

"I'll get you something. Just lie down and rest. I'll put you on a good movie," he smiled, then got out of bed to turn to the VCR. Once again I wondered if he really shot Ronald or if it was just his imagination... There could hardly be another side to such a loving, caring man...

"Do you need anything else?" he then asked and I shook my head in the negative while my eyes drifted to his torso and lingered there. He noticed my stare perfectly and just gave a silly grin before he ran to the closet and pulled on a gray hoodie while pulling on a pair of black jeans underneath.

"See you soon," he said and leaned down to give me a kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes and enjoyed this beautiful moment and then watched him leave the hut.

And then a very bad feeling came over me that threatened to pull me into an abyss. Being alone freed up thoughts I could completely forget when he was around.

I heard Pablo's disgusting moan as if he was lying right next to my ear, felt his hand on my neck and jumped up, gasping for air but I couldn't get it. All of those horrible memories hit me in one fell swoop and I jumped out of bed in a panic to quickly slip into my black jeans, my hands starting to tremble uncontrollably. I had to get out of here and quickly, because this hut seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. The constriction didn't end at all and when I finally had my shoes on, I put the yellow sweater back on and stormed out of the hut.

I immediately drew a breath, felt the cold sink deep into my lungs, and leaned my back against the outside wall of the hut, only to look up at the gray sky and only slowly calm myself down. I didn't know how much time passed, but it felt like ages to get Pablo out of my mind.

"Hello," an angelic voice suddenly spoke to me and when I looked curiously to my side, I spotted Maisie, who was walking towards me with two other girls.

She was playing with her blond hair, beaming all over her face, but what immediately made my eyes widen in shock was that this small, petite girl was wearing only a ridiculously thin dress at minus degrees.

"Maisie," I breathed, crouching in front of her to give her a thoughtful look. "You absolutely have to put on a jacket. Otherwise you'll get sick."

The three girls looked at me like I was crazy when I was just worried.

"I don't feel cold. I'm always warm," Maisie grinned, and when she put her hand on my cheek, I felt the same heat radiating from Reahlyn. "You see, I'm not cold," she added, giggling, looking at me with a proud expression while her green eyes fixed on mine.

"How can that be?" I whispered to myself softly, then got up to gape at her. Maybe I really was dreaming... Maybe this was all just a dream and I would soon just wake up in my apartment and Esteban, like Reahlyn and this place would just have sprung from my subconscious.

"Maisie!" I heard Reahlyn's voice not sounding pleased and then saw him walking towards us behind her. "Play somewhere else," he ordered sternly, and the two looked into each other's eyes in silence for a while, until she gave me a playful wink and then ran away with her friends, giggling.