Chapter 34: Chapter 34

The wheels in my head started running the moment Cassius barged inside my room with that question. The expression on his face tells me that it’s going to be a long talk. With the furrowed brows and pressed lips, he looked bothered.

His voice was low and gentle, “Feyre,”

“What is it?” I asked with my brows knotted.

He strode towards the glass door of the balcony and closed it. That’s when I noticed that there’s a snowstorm outside. The white, crystalline snow kept striking the ground. I saw how the bright flash of lightning had struck the sky, creating some cracks across the heavens.

Cassius switched the chandelier and it lit into thousands of crystals. The room was illuminated with warm light, despite the coldness outside. He stood across the bed and stared at me.

“You want your memories back, am I right?” He spoke with a low voice but quite authoritative and demanding. No wonder, he’s the next king of Syrr. He holds power, in every word and action he does. As if he was trained to hold such power, something that Ambrose wants. Maybe, some people are born with it and some were just too unfortunate to acquire it. Some even kill for it; they are like parched throats thirsty for a sip of it. It is disgusting.

Cassius watched me, waiting for a reply.

I manage to nod my head slowly, wondering how the hell he knew that. I’m certain that I’ve never dropped that topic when I was with him.

“Let me help you remember,” He sat on the edge of the bed.

My brow shot up, “How?”

I bit my lip as my trust issues began to spread into my system, pumping my mind with doubts and anxiety. Cassius has saved my life, but can I trust him? I mean, I have nothing to lose except for my dying lifespan. I only have a few weeks, days even. At least, I must do everything to remember every last bit of my memories.

“I am aware that you only have a few days left,” He paused, looking at me intently.

He opened his mouth again, “Feyre, you’re dying.” My eyes fell on the duvet, playing it with my fingers to distract me.

I stayed silent, not knowing what to tell him. I don’t want to cry in front of him but hearing those words from others’ lips made me scared. God, I am really dying. It’s like a slap in my face and I cannot do anything about it.

“I know,” I spoke with lips quivering, tears starting to form.

I inhaled sharply as I looked at his emerald eyes, “Cassius, I don’t want to die.” My voice cracked as I said those words.

Cassius shook his head and pulled me closer to him. The scent of his shirt was overwhelming. I felt so safe wrapped tightly around his grip. The softness of his lips against my forehead made me burst into tears.

“It’s alright, love. I’m here. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” He began stroking my hair as he shushed me.

“Don’t cry please,” He rubbed my back reassuringly.

A sob left my parted lips, “You said you will help me remember, how?” I pulled from his hug and looked at his eyes desperately.

“Become one of us, a vampire.” His words made my eyes widen.

I fell silent for a moment. Then he began talking again.

“It’s the only option I know in order to keep you alive and eventually recover your lost memories,” He explained when I wasn’t responding.

He called my name, “Please,”

“What if I refuse?”

Cassius stared at me, “Please don’t,” He tucked a strand behind my ear.

“Feyre, forgive me for I have lied to you the first time we met in the woods. I can’t push myself to tell you before because I couldn’t believe it was really you. There were rumors about you that have spread in town so I had to check for myself.” He looked down at my hand, rubbing the back of my palm with his thumb gently.

He continued, “And I saw you that night in the woods, the rumors are true. You were alive all along. You don’t seem to recognize me and so I thought something’s wrong.”

“Feyre, we met a couple of years back then.” Darkened, emerald orbs bore at me. I could see the longing and desperation in his eyes. It made my heart skip a beat like it was a familiar feeling.

My lips parted, “You’re kidding,” When he fell silent, I lost it.

“You knew me?” I asked, bewildered was an understatement.

“We were together and then you left me. I was searching for you but nothing; it was like you’ve completely disappeared.” Cassius’ gaze fell on the duvet.

Silence covered the chamber for a few seconds.

“How exactly do I become a vampire?”

Cassius shot me a look, “Are you sure?”

“I want to know more, Cas.” I muttered firmly.

“It’s a bit complicated, are you sure you can handle it? You won’t be able to use your abilities again and you will be feeding on blood. Well, you can eat human food but what we really need is blood to fuel up.” Cassius claimed as he rolled out his tongue over his lip.

“Yes, I know the basics. I’ve lived with four vampires back at Emberton.” I said, blankly.

Cassius gave me a playful scoff, “Right,”

“But how do I become one? Do you have to bite me or something? You could die if you bite me though. My blood is too pure and holy for you.” He left the question hanging for a second and barked in laughter.

“No, definitely no bites.” He said once he finished laughing at me.

“You will need to drink vampire blood for a few days until you die. Then you will be reborn as a vampire.” Cassius explained.

“What if I don’t wake up?” I asked, a look of horror flashed my face.

He cocked a brow, “Then I’ll prepare a burial for you,”

I slapped his arm, “Don’t joke about my death! I could seriously die,”

Cassius smirked at me as if taunting me to slap his arm again so I did.

“Aw, stop it!” He rubbed his arm and glared at me.

The next morning, I woke up being served by vampire blood in a goblet. Cassius has instructed me to drink a goblet every day.

A groan escaped my lips as I swallowed the liquid in my mouth. The goblet was almost empty. Just a few more sip and I’m done for the day. As soon as the edge of the glass reached my lips, the smell of blood stung my nostrils making me gulp and make these puking noises.

“Oh, god.” I let out a shaky breath before pinching my nose so I can’t taste the blood.

Slowly, I brought the goblet to my lip and drank the remaining liquid straight. I quickly swallowed and washed my mouth with water. I ate some fruits afterwards to get that foul taste off of my tongue. I needed to drink his blood to become a vampire. It’s weird and disgusting but I have no choice. If I want my memories back, I would have to do anything in order to get them.