Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Cassandra's POV
The entire weekend I did not see or hear from Julian. Aunt Caroline decided to spend the weekend with Avery, so Max and I went out to play at the local park in the morning as well as in the evening every day. I wanted to get Julian out of my mind, but even after two days, I was still having sleepless nights because of him. I knew that he was beyond my league. I was a poor mother of a little boy, with nothing to hold a guy like him to me. He would surely get bored after a week or so. It was best that he forgot me and moved on to someone who deserved him. My heart was broken and I just dragged myself on and on. I had no idea how long I could continue this way but I couldn't give up as I had a little child to think about.
I dejectedly did the housework, eating, cleaning automatically, doing Max's work, cuddling him to my heart. Max gave me all the happiness in the world. I tried to reason in my head that we didn't need anyone else to be happy. We had one another! He was the only person whom I could call my own, my only family after my dad died. I cried myself to sleep every night since the day Julian left us. I never cried when Desmond threatened me or abused me before. He never affected me in any way as Julian had in such a short span of time. The emotions of the heart were so weird, you never know what affects you the most, till you're heartbroken from it.
Aunt Caroline came back and was worried about me.
"What happened to you, Cassie? Are you unwell?" asked Aunt Caroline with a worried look on her face.
"Just tired, aunt Caroline. Don't worry, I'm fine," I said with a fake smile pasted on my lips. Aunt Caroline might have seen through my lies but he didn't ask anything more and I was thankful to her for that.
I too didn't tell her anything, just that I missed her and Avery. For the next three weeks, I just worked like an automaton, trying to erase all thoughts of Julian out of my mind. But it didn't work. Every day my heart waited for him to call me or come to see me but was met with disappointment since he still didn't contact me. It was as if we hadn't met at all. it was as if he was just a figment of my imagination. Anna was very busy, her boyfriend had returned and she would leave early. Then she got busy with her birthday celebrations and afterward took a week's leave. I could see that she was really having a hard time coping and didn't want to disturb her. Not that I was a very open person where my personal life was concerned. Even if she wasn't busy, I would never have gone ahead and told her about my personal life. I wasn't very friendly and after being abused by Desmond, I had been over cautious about making friends with people. Therefore, with no friends and parents, my life only revolved around Max, aunt Caroline, and my work.
When aunt Caroline didn't see Julian for a week, she was suspicious. "Julian doesn't come here anymore. Did you two fight?" she asked one day making me immediately be on high alert. I didn't want to tell anyone about my foolishness.
"No, he might be busy," I shrugged. Thankfully, Aunt Caroline knew me too well and didn't probe further and I heaved a sigh of relief. I wanted Julian to forget me and move on which he might already have. I should be happy but still, there was a huge vacuum in my life, my heart cried every night for him. I slept on the single bed in Max's room while he slept on his cot. I couldn't sleep on the bed alone, knowing that Julian and I had made love, there. The memories of our lovemaking haunted me and I somehow knew that I was doomed for life.
Anna returned after her leave and announced her wedding which was scheduled in a month's time. She made me her bridesmaid, and although I resisted, she did not listen. She invited me to her fiancé's house to plan her wedding with her mother-in-law who was also Julian's mom. Her sister-in-law, Claire was the maid of honor and wanted to meet me too. I was too nervous to meet Julian's family wondering what they would think of me! Did Julian tell them about me? I had no wish to visit Julian's family and started developing cold feet as the days went by. Ever since Max was born, I usually avoided all social events since I hated people judging me unnecessarily. But Anna wouldn't hear any of it. Of course, she had no idea about my personal life. I never told anyone about myself.
"You have to come or else we're kidnapping you already from your place." Anna's statement made me panic. No, I didn't want anyone to come over to my house.
"Okay, I'll be there. Please don't kidnap me." I joked and we burst out laughing.
Aunt Caroline might have sensed my apprehension although she never asked me about Julian anymore. So when she heard about Anna's invitation, she tried her best to coax me to go. It seemed as if opting out of it wasn't an option for me at all. Since Julian hadn't contacted me even once since that fateful day, I was a little curious to know about him and finally gave in. Although I never admitted that to anyone, the thought of meeting Julian at Anna's house crossed my mind all the time, sending tingles of excitement down my traitorous body.
I knew that he might have lost interest in me already and moved on to his next fling yet I would go just as Anna's guest, I decided finally. I would keep to myself and be as inconspicuous as possible. I would decline to be her bridesmaid and leave at the earliest opportunity possible. Aunt Caroline was happy that I had finally decided to come out of my shell and go to Anna's house. I didn't tell her that it was Julian's house as well but then she might be knowing it already!