Chapter 5: Chapter 5

He floored the pedal to the metal as he hit Queens, getting closer to her apartment made him impatient and his car liked being opened up on the straights. The thrill of a car with this much power meant it demanded a little release every so often. He loved his car almost as much as he loved the girl he was driving toward.

Wait! What? Fuck … Did he just think that? Love?

Getting to the apartment he remembered from bringing her here a year ago, he raced up the internal stairs two at a time, heart a little erratic still, from the adrenaline of flooring his sports car and getting here in record time. Trying not to think too hard about the love thing, he just pushed it back down. It was dumb and impulsive, and he hadn’t really thought about that whole love thing; sure, he knew he had feelings for her, but love? He had no goddamn clue. He couldn’t love Emma, she had never asked that of him and he had been pretty sure he was incapable of feeling that way, given the number of women who had tried to get it from him.

The asshole boyfriend of her roommate let him in after a quick knock on the door and he couldn’t help himself glaring a little. He knew Emma didn’t rate him highly for whatever reason and that was enough reason for him to dislike him too. He didn’t say much, just a shrug and nodded toward a room down the hall which he assumed was Emma’s, they both sort of grunted instead of conversed. Returning to caveman behavior was fine with him; if this asshole ever laid a finger on his girl he would happily caveman-style smash his skull in.

Jake walked past him, towering over him by a few inches in height and most definitely out-muscling him. Jake was already sizing him up in his head for possible outcomes if he ever needed to get heavy-handed on this one; heading toward Emma’s room and keeping an eye on the retreating idiot.

The door was sitting open, all thoughts of her pushing away the asshole, and he slid into the space. Instantly assaulted by her enticing perfume and the girlishness of her bedroom. It was like suddenly stepping into Emma’s head, a secret part of her, and he couldn’t help but look around, a little overwhelmed.

All soft grays and silvers, a cozy stylish boudoir of sorts, cuddly bears on the bed and a million cushions. Pictures on the wall of scenery, mainly New York skyline and some more tranquil black and white stills. The room had a matureness to it, but the small soft touches, candles, trinkets, and sparkly things hinted at a girly-girl that she kept hidden from view. Jake felt like he was intruding suddenly, it was like seeing a part of her that even he hadn’t seen. The romance book on the night stand surprised him.

“Hey.” He smiled and threw a thumb over his shoulder, indicating asshole’s presence; he wanted to know if he had bothered her. She shook her head, but he could tell she wasn’t relaxed and it made him frown. If that dickhead had done or said anything he would literally kill him. Her face softening and that pretty smile calmed his aggression almost immediately, his eyes slid to the floor at the Everest of girls’ things in a bid to avoid the way he wanted to stare at her mouth. He had never really got control of the staring thing when it came to her face, he had to stop himself doing it a hundred times a day.

“You weren’t wrong … I think Donna has dressed you for a year.” He tried to turn his attention anywhere but Emma in jeans and a T-shirt. She looked like a college student and cuter than hell. He had seen her in various casual attire on long trips but being here, surrounded by her things, made it different somehow. Like she was letting him in on her completely unguarded and relaxed, seeing her in a new setting. She didn’t even seem to find it weird that he was here at all, another hint at the fact she thought all of this was harmless. Friends—that’s all she saw in this and that was a sobering thought.

He sat down on the floor in front of the huge mountain of clothes a little guiltily. Jake sighed under his breath.

He knew this, and he had to stop ignoring it.

“Whose fault is that? Mr. Oh, buy her an outfit for this, that, and the next thing, every time you see her.” Emma poked him playfully in the ribs and he curbed the urge to grab her hand and haul her into his lap. Lately, his hands-on approach was becoming a little too hands-on. He had practically molested her out jogging in Seattle, too much of a pull to always touch her. He leaned back in a bid to stop himself from initiating playful pushes, she brought it out in him, just by being near.

“Maybe I should tell her to ask you when you need something from now on.” He held his hands up, trying to appear apologetic but Emma didn’t need to know how many times a week he sent Donna pictures of dresses or clothes or even requests and told her Emma needed them. He had no idea what that was all about; women’s fashion didn’t interest him, but seeing Emma wearing expensive clothes made him happy. He didn’t care if she never wore half of them, he just liked making sure she always had what she needed, and she always looked too beautiful for words. It was worth abusing the company credit accounts.

“That would be an idea,” Emma smirked, and he couldn’t help but smile back, he loved when she tried to sass him. The girl who had once been so closed off and reserved had come out of her shell in the past few months, he had loved watching her bloom. He liked this version of her a lot more than the closed-off ice maiden of those first few weeks.

“Get rid of what you don’t want.” He shrugged; he didn’t care if she threw what she didn’t like away, it was only money. He pulled a pale-pink dress from the pile that caught his interest and held it up to admire it but something else caught his eye before he really examined it.

Lingerie. Much more interesting.

He leaned in for it and winked Emma’s way cheekily, damn sure he was getting an eyeful of that baby. He held up a corset type thing, all lace and structure, and really wanted to not be picturing it on her right now, but his mind was making a good go of it. She whipped it out of his hands almost immediately and threw it off behind him toward a tall glass set of drawers with a hint of a blush. Not that he minded; his thoughts had definitely gone down the gutter, and that wasn’t a good thing.

“Most of it still has tags, Jake, she should return them.” She sounded childlike and almost hopeless. Lifting clothes up in frustration at him. Jake raised an eyebrow her way at the cuteness of that statement. The money he had Donna spend on clothes for Emma was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

“Just give them away, Emma, they’re already paid for.” He shrugged nonchalantly, sometimes he forgot that she didn’t come from his world. She fitted in so effortlessly, so graceful, and never balked around grandeur. She really was fucking perfect.

“Jake, there’s thousands of dollars’ worth of stuff here.” She sounded frustrated with him, but it only made him smile. She had no idea how cute she could be; one second all seductive and irresistible and the next childish and endearingly sweet, so much so it gave him the urge to squish her. Adorable was the only word he could conjure up for her sometimes. He had never been one to think any girl was that, but Emma sure was.

“And?” He just shrugged, he honestly didn’t care. It was just money.

“So, I should just donate it? … What I don’t need?” She asked sardonically, eyeing him up in her haughty PA way. She tried this look on him a hundred times a day, but it had zero effect. He found it entertaining that she could close down anyone in the building with a glare, yet to him, it was just amusingly cute as fuck.

“They’re your clothes, mio amore.” He shifted on the floor picking up another dress, this time having a closer look at it and looking at her as he tried to picture her in it. She threw him a disdainful look and started throwing items to the door for donating, a look on her face that almost said it was painful for her. Emma would need to get used to money if she was going to stick with him, he had no intention of seeing her live a life without it, even if she never saw him as anything more than a friend. He would always take care of her.

“You’ve never worn this?” He raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. It was pretty; somehow her. He wanted to see her wear it; red and floaty and short. Not too clingy yet romantic and something he had never seen her try.

“Nope.” Blunt and to the point, she barely looked its way, but he was determined now. She would look good in red, she had the fair hair and porcelain skin to pull it off. Her blue eyes would make it perfection.

“Why not? It’s nice, kind of cute, but sexy.” He held it up to get a better idea of the style and really tried to picture her in it.

“Where would I wear it?” She smiled his way a little unsure.

“Take it with us on our trip. Parade around on deck for me in it.” He put the dress on the bed to make sure it got kept with the clothes she was keeping, he wanted to see her in it more than anything. He wanted to see Emma dressed all girly and floaty and carefree. More than he wanted to see her in her underwear, which completely confused him.

Was Carrero losing his edge? Libido wavering? Turning into a fucking woman?

“Just the two of us?” she asked him nervously and it distracted him, he couldn’t help but feel the sunken weight at how nervous she seemed to be with that thought.

“Not if that makes you uncomfortable … I have friends we could invite; my father’s boat has six double cabins if you want a crowd.” He tried to focus on the clothes on the floor rather than let her see that it disappointed him—he wanted her alone. Just the two of them, but he knew how disastrous that would be.

“Who would you invite?” She looked his way with a furrowed brow, cuteness personified, and he had to fight the urge to smooth it out with his thumb.

“Daniel, a couple of the guys I sometimes take trips with, and whoever they want with them … I was thinking Leila Huntsberger, that way you could meet Sophie’s new sister.” He tried for nonchalant and seemed to pull it off, picking names right from the top of his head. Leila would like her, he could see them gelling and that made him happy. He wanted his friends to like her. Daniel had finally stopped leering her way whenever they crossed paths after more than a dozen death threats from him.

“So, they’re going to be couples?” She looked scared suddenly and that familiar gut kick hit him.

Fuck. Always a reminder of what they would never be.

“Really, Emma?” He sighed in irritation at the reality of this situation, annoyed and being an asshole. She hadn’t done anything wrong. “What do you think I’m going to do? Try to seduce my PA because we’re surrounded by couples and I’m incapable of abstaining from sex? I may always be trying to chat you up but I’m not an idiot. I know where the boundaries are, bambino.”

Yeah, sure he did … He just chose to fucking forget them frequently.

Asshole.

“No, it’s just … it will be awkward.” She looked at the clothes and started pulling through them, obviously avoiding his eye. He sighed at making her feel this way. Softening his tone and trying to stop being a dickhead.

“Why?” he said softly.

“They might think we’re …” She hesitated and caught his eye. Jake tried to relax back and look completely blank. More than anything in the world he wanted her trust, but that spike of irritation still lingered inside of him though, peeking out.

“Who cares what they think? I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, Emma … I need a break and so do you. Stop overthinking and just agree. Besides, they’re my friends, they’ll know right away that we’re not screwing.” He slid his hands behind his head, frowning at his own snarkiness and tried to shrug it off. It wasn’t fair on her, his little mood swings because of his feelings for her. She never asked him to get hung up on her, and she sure as hell hadn’t encouraged it in any way. He needed to stop and take a step back. Be friends, because if that’s all she was offering then he wanted it. It was better than not knowing her at all. Life without Emma wasn’t a life worth knowing.

“Okay, for God’s sake.” She put her hands up in defeat, then looked shyly his way with the hint of a smile. “Don’t laugh, Jake, but I don’t own anything I could wear on a beach or a boat.”

He couldn’t help but smile back at her, at the irony.

She really was beautiful.