Chapter 21: Chapter 21

His eyes were scanning the floor, people getting in his way were moved with a little force, ignoring people trying to stop him and talk. He just had one thing on his mind and he was damned if anyone was going to get in his way. He needed to find her and just see her, talk to her. Every blonde head and red dress was being assessed as he moved at a fast pace, shrugging off hands and hellos, sliding through groups of people with determination. Not giving a shit at how ignorant he was being.

And then, there she was. Stopping him dead in his tracks, her eyes focused on him at the edge of the dance floor as though she had been waiting for him to find her. Looking like everything in the world that mattered to him, standing stock still only feet away. His entire being halted.

Jake didn’t hesitate a moment longer, the look on her face said everything he needed to act. She was wide-eyed and distraught, heartbroken and almost begging him to come to her. Who was he to refuse when all he had ever wanted was for her to want him this way?

His feet had him marching her way, fast long strides to get to his end goal as soon as humanly possible. He didn’t stop when he got to her, just intent on his purpose, aching to do what he had planned when he found her.

His hands automatically cupping her face and pulling her to him, cupping her jaw, and meeting her mouth with unleashed force and passion that completely sent his head spiraling and heart soaring. Finally, complete. He kissed her as though his life depended on it, reveling in the way she sagged into him and kissed him back with matched fever. Jake was flying, his heart erratic, and he knew this was all he would ever need, just her and him and the ability to be this way with her. She was his soul.

She clung to him as much as he held her, matching his passion and movement and neither breaking away from the intensity of the meeting for long minutes.

They were breathing hard, oblivious to the room around them and only focused on each other. He couldn’t stop himself from kissing her, but he knew he had to do more, he had to tell her how he felt. He had to let her talk and confirm that this was something more than sex or lust. He needed her to know that he was serious about her, that for him, she was his forever. He needed to say the words he had been holding back for months. Jake needed to tell her that he was hopelessly in love with her.

Breaking away finally, only enough to rest his forehead against hers and breathe her in, he just stared into the depths of those cool blue eyes that seemed to see right down into his very soul. Neither seemed to have words, just matched shallow breathing, oblivious to the room and people around them. He didn’t care if reporters were taking pictures, or if people were staring right now, all he cared about was her and what she was thinking.

“Come with me?” Jake finally managed a whisper, tearing himself physically away from being so close to her and aching to get her alone. Despite the noise of the orchestra and the hustle and bustle around them, she seemed to hear him loud and clear, never tearing her eyes from his and nodding. Jake couldn’t help the surge of happiness running through him, couldn’t resist brushing his mouth against hers once more. Emma always tasted sweet, like cakes and candy and her; a heady combination that was addictive to him, he didn’t even care if her lipstick was all over him right now.

He let go of her and slid her small dainty hand in his, interlocking fingers possessively and leading the way toward the main entrance fast. He couldn’t stop the dizzying euphoria coursing through him or the sense of urgency in getting her alone. He just felt like this was all surreal after what felt like a lifetime of not being able to have her. He was walking on the clouds.

Winding through the crowded room, Jake’s impatience was rising with every person who got in his way. Familiar faces stopped them and even though he tried to deflect the attention, he had to stop when flanked by a client who was a little more forceful in getting his attention. The stocky man seemed oblivious to the young, beautiful girl he was so obviously trying to usher out of the room with him. Jake could feel himself almost growling with frustration as he launched into a speech about some funding nonsense for a new venture. Jake glanced down at Emma to check she was okay, to check she was real and this wasn’t some weird hallucination. That face looking trustingly up at him only tore at him more and made him more determined to get her alone.

God, I love you so fucking much, bambino.

Jake’s attention was pulled back by the gray-haired suit extending a hand, some feeble attempt at agreeing to a lunch date for a business chat. Jake hadn’t even been listening, so overly aware of the warm, soft hand in his and the way Emma was curling gently around his side. He wanted to have more contact with her than this. He wanted to wrap himself up in her. Pulling her in closer, Jake tucked her slender arm under his and grasped her hand a little firmer, closer but still not close enough to be able to deal with these idiots holding them up. Right now, he would agree to pitch a million at any stupid idea as long as they shut the fuck up and got out of his way.

Finally, suit moved and Jake made a move to get them going once more, they didn’t get far before another one slid in front, blocking their passage. Jake almost yelled at him in sheer frustration.

For fuck’s sake.

Impatience and complete frustration had him nodding eagerly, trying to slide past and pulling Emma into him a little forcefully. He was trying to palm the suit off with a hand wave, but he was having none of it.

“So, Mr. Carrero, we could meet up …” Jake zoned out, focusing only on her, sliding her hand free and instead put an arm around her waist and bodily molded them side by side, she rested her head against his chest impulsively, and he almost melted into a mushy puddle on the floor. She had no idea what she could do to him with minimal effort. Jake kissed her temple, he just wanted to be done here and to be able to get this all out. To look her in the eye and ask her straight out if she wanted to be with him from now until eternity. That’s all he could think about.

“Yeah sure, just call my office to make a lunch appointment. Anytime.” Jake almost waved the guy out of his face, missing his handshake a little prematurely and just moving to get past quickly, oblivious to the awkwardness he had just caused in the man left flailing hands in mid-air.

Jake pulled Emma with him fast, seeing an opening within the standing people and aiming for it before anyone else snagged him to a standstill. Emma stumbled on her shoes, and he almost cursed at the fact he knew he was practically dragging her, guilt hitting him hard and knocking him for six.

“I’m sorry … I just need to get you out of here quickly … I need us to be alone—to talk.” He sounded nervous as hell and maybe he was, all he knew was this place was starting to piss him off and looking for escape was proving to be more difficult than he planned. Getting them finally to the main hall, he looked around for privacy, spying a little door marked staff that was sat ajar and showed a dark unused hall.

Perfect.

Leading the way once more, he slowed down as Emma lifted her dress and seriously thought about scooping her up to carry her for a moment. Looking around at the volume of milling guests he thought better of it and slowed his pace to let her keep up. Looking at her in that dress, her sexy-as-hell shoes peeking out in all their tall stiletto beauty, his body went into immediate hunger overdrive. God, he wanted more than just to kiss her, he wanted her naked and under him. Her shoe choices had always made him horny, she had perfect legs, and he loved nothing more than seeing them slid into shoes like this. If he got her home in this dress, or even out of that dress, those shoes would be staying on.

Checking around he opened the door further into a dim abandoned hall and pulled her inside with him, turning her so he could push her back against the wall behind the cover of the door and unleashing every urge he had been fighting out there to kiss her again. This time the force of all the pent-up lust hit out harder, flooring her with a kiss that sent him into lust overdrive. He could barely control the way she made him feel, the way he wanted her and as she crumbled into him he had to crush her further into the wall to hold her up. His hands slid around her curves, fingers smoothing over sweet warmth.

Sense seemed to catch up with him with the unleashing of pent-up passion and doubts started to creep in. He hadn’t let her talk even once since he kissed her, he hadn’t let her confirm that she even wanted this.

Isn’t this always what I do to her? Push myself onto her with force, so that she can’t do anything but play along.

Jake tilted his head back, unable to let her go even though insecurity and doubt were now flooding through his over-wired brain, he was a jumbled mess of emotions and had no way to deal with the flood of self-doubt that had just hit him square in the stomach. He frowned, swallowing down his fear and realizing she still hadn’t said anything, just staring at him helplessly and ripping his heart to shreds with silence. It was starting to feel all too familiar and every single instance just like this came flooding to mind. A million rejections that had started with promise.

“I’m waiting on it, Emma.” His voice was low and pained, hating himself for his tone and acting this way after the way he had just kissed her. He was an emotional mess and had been for months. He just couldn’t bear any of this anymore, and he needed her to just say it.

“On what?” She sounded young and vulnerable, doe-eyed, and meek. He wanted to punch himself in the face for his sudden change toward her, but he couldn’t help it. Part of him was back peddling and getting ready for another scene that left him here and Emma walking away, preparing for another stab in the heart.

“The door to hit me in the face again; another reason you think we shouldn’t be together.” He said it sardonically, his tone flat as though already resigned that this was too good to be true. He felt the overwhelming fear rising up his spine, knowing from experience that her kissing him back meant nothing.

Emma shook her head, her face softening and lifted her fingers to trace the shape of his lips. The touch sending a tingling sensation right through his very soul, catching her hand to press it to his face and commit this moment to memory in case it was the last. Emma smiled at him.

“I’m not going to do that, Jake. I won’t push you away again.”

Jake felt the inner pain and dread loosen a little, watched the way Emma remained calm and continued to gaze up at him with unveiled adoration. This really was different for her this time. His tense muscles relaxed as a warm realization hit him, he really had her after all. She wasn’t running or closing down, she wasn’t even pushing him away. Still in his arms and touching him freely.

“I love you … I think I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.” Jake let it out, like a wave of relief, something that had been on his lips for what felt like an eternity and had never had the courage to say to her. Smiling at the release and suddenly not feeling so scared anymore. Emma, however, burst into an instant mess of unexpected tears that shocked him.

Jake pulled her against his chest, confused and a little unsure how he was meant to take that at all. All he could do was hold her, stroke her hair and pray to God she was “happy” crying. Hoping that’s what women did anyway.

“I … I …” she stammered and then got even more emotional, falling to pieces in his arms and gripping onto him tightly as flood gates of tears and sobbing opened up. All he could do was cling right back on and bury his face in her hair helplessly. His heart upping a beat and fear coming back to gnaw at his insides. Emma wasn’t much of a crier and whenever she did he hated it, made him feel pretty much like it did now, as though his insides were being twisted out in the most excruciating way.

“Don’t cry, bambino … Please, Emma … I didn’t think telling you I loved you would cause this,” he said hoarsely, tensing his arms around her and just trying so hard to mold every line and curve to him while supporting her. “Say something.”

Anything, please … Tell me you want this.

“I … love … you.” It came from her so breathily between sniffs, Jake immediately exhaling complete relief and suddenly aware he had been holding his breath. His body went into instant warm and fuzzy overdrive and for once in his life understood all that girly mushy crap about butterflies and inner tingles. The overwhelming euphoria of three little words from the only person who truly mattered changed everything in that one moment.

Jake lifted her chin gently, unable to stop the goofy happy smile breaking across his face and kissed her softly. He could do this for an eternity and never tire of how good she felt. How kissing her seemed to make the world stop turning and everything make sense. He could kiss Emma every second of every day for a lifetime and know it would always feel this good.

His gentle meeting of the lips set her off again into another flood of hormonal tears, only this time Jake didn’t crumble into insecurity, he smiled instead and watched her with a small shake of the head.

“Jesus, Emma … If I’d known this was how it would be, I would’ve brought some tissues and a lot of chocolate.” Tangling his fingers in her soft, silky hair, no longer pained at her tears because he knew sometimes girls cried when they were happy. In this case, he had no doubt his beautiful girl was happy. Her giggle through tears confirmed it and he sighed against her once more.

What am I going to do with you?

Emma looked up under lowered lashes, her makeup doing a pretty good job of staying put for the most part, despite the waterworks and smiled at him coyly. It had the same effect as a thud to the chest.

“They’re happy tears.” She smiled once more, another sniff and some signs of regaining composure. Emma pulled her bag forward and began to search for something, he assumed a tissue, seeing as now her cheeks were starting to get little rivers of diluted black running subtly down them. It only made her even more goddamn adorable to him, and he lifted his hand to her face to start removing the traces of makeup as they fell.

“Should I be crying too then?” He smiled down at her, wiping her cheek with his thumb and then switching tactics to his jacket sleeve and dabbing at her instead. He didn’t care if this was a ten-thousand-dollar suit, his baby needed a tissue, and he would let her use his entire shirt if she wanted it. He wiped most of her upset away before caging her in against the wall to just take her in. Every little detail of her in full glory had his heart soaring, he moved in close, so he could breathe her in. Three words had just changed everything between them and now his life was looking a hell of a lot better.

“I don’t think I want to see you cry.” Emma blinked up at him cutely, a face so innocent and beautiful that he had no resistance to her.

“Good. I’m not much of a crier and you’re doing a grand enough job for the both of us. I’m happy though, you have no idea. I never thought we’d get here. I didn’t think this was how you felt about me.” Jake moved in, wanting contact with her at all times and rested his brow against hers. She leaned up suddenly and bravely and kissed him this time, knocking the wind out of him momentarily and pretty much making him the happiest guy on the planet in that second. It only ignited his deep longing for her and passion brimmed in milliseconds, bracing her face to him by sliding his hand behind her neck so he could deepen the kiss and caress her tongue with his. Emma groaned under her breath which in turn made him groan too, still hopeless to how much power she always had over him.

Jake pulled away before he lost all control and ripped her dress open, unable to just break free, he sucked in her bottom lip and gently slid away. He loved the taste of her in every way and could only imagine how much he was going to devour every single inch of her skin when he got her alone.

The way Emma was looking up at him told him that would be sooner rather than later, the unleashed raw look on her face of sheer lust had his body stirring and heat rising within. He wanted her so badly it was almost painful.

“If we keep doing this, then I can promise you I won’t be a gentleman for much longer.” He warned her, voice soft as his focus stayed on the slightly kiss-swollen set of perfect lips. The red lipstick was still in place and weirdly unsmeared.

“Oh, I always knew you weren’t a gentleman.” She jested, biting her lip seductively and staring right back at Jake’s own mouth. She wasn’t helping calm his libido one little bit.

God, I want to kiss you and fuck you nonstop.

“Hey! I’ve been very well behaved. You have no idea the kind of thoughts that went through my head concerning you.” He caught her wrists and pinned them up over her head, loving how it made her both vulnerable and open to his control but the way it made her bust rise up from her dress a little, peeking a little riskily on the verge of overflow. He wanted her naked more than anything and still glued to her body it was really hard to keep the obvious sign under control in his pants.

“None of that surprises me, you and your ex-rated mind. I always knew you had Casanova tendencies.” Emma grinned up at him, shifting her pelvis closer and almost nudging him.

“Cheeky!” He threw her a fast, chaste, kiss and let her go, more than aware that he was about to lose his shit and fuck her against the wall if they kept this up. He had little control around her normally, so this was only testing all his powers to the very verge of his limits. “You’re beautiful, and you’re all mine!”

He moved his body from hers and leaned in for another soft kiss, something he knew would be an addiction from here on in. Having this ability to just kiss her whenever he wanted was like all his birthdays coming at once and he intended to use it to its full potential.

“I’m still mad at you.” Emma slid her palms across his stomach, sending shivers of anticipation through him, her hands smoothing within his jacket which was open and sliding up across the muscles in his chest. He had to steel himself against the urge to turn to Jell-O. His eyes followed her progress and the tiny hint of a smile tugged at her lips, he couldn’t stop looking at her.

“I don’t blame you, bella.” He frowned. “I’m mad at me too,” Jake replied regretfully, smoothing her hair back behind her ear and taking a moment to focus on untangling a strand from the dangling diamond cluster earring. He needed to calm down his playboy impulses if he was going to romance her into a happy ever after. She wasn’t going to be some one-night piece of fun for him; Emma was all he had been waiting for in life. The other half to his soul. He watched her carefully, regret at so many lost months eating at him, knowing if he had just been honest with her long ago then he would have always had her.

Complete idiot.

“Makes a change from being mad at me, I guess.” Emma’s smile widened to a smirk as he regarded her. Lost in how many times he could have changed the course of their relationship by saying three little words to her.

“I only got mad with you because of how I feel about you, Emma. It was ripping me apart. I didn’t know how to behave around you or how to deal with all this crap inside of me. Over-emotional men are just snarky shits.” He softly smiled, knowing it was lame as apologies went, but he intended to spend every day for the next hundred years making this up to her.

“I get mad at you because you’re an asshole sometimes; nothing to do with emotions or love.” She joked, smiling widely with a hint of amusement in those gorgeous pale eyes. She moved to run her fingertips softly across his mouth again, drawing his attention to how perfect they gelled. Each touch tailored to the other almost perfectly and how she could weaken him so easily.

“We need to make this work.” Jake sighed. “I can’t walk away again … I don’t want to. This past month has been unbearable like I had my insides wrenched out.”

“Are you asking me to be your PA again?” she asked softly, looking him dead in the eye with a hint of the old Emma confidence seeping back in. He couldn’t help but smile at her.

“I’m asking for way more than that, miele.” His hands had moved back into that blonde curled hair he loved so much, fingertips grazing her scalp as he entangled its silky smoothness between his fingers. He loved that every time he touched her hair it not only felt good but released more of her delicious scent.

“Tell me what you want from me, be specific.” Emma had gone into full-on PA mode, that stern yet inquisitive look, she was waiting for him to lay his cards on the table before she let too much of her own hopes out. Typical Emma, still guarding her heart until she was sure he wasn’t going to trample on her.

I love you, bambino.

Jake did not hesitate in doing what she needed.

“I want you … all of you … I want us. Just you and me and no one else. No games, no hiding, no more misunderstandings. I want you to be the one woman I share my bed and my life with. I want a real relationship with you, bambino.” He didn’t think he could spell it out any clearer than that, and she deserved his full honesty after everything he had put her through. Somehow though, even knowing she felt this way too, it was still terrifying to just lay his soul bare out there.

Emma threw herself against him so suddenly it almost winded him and wrapped herself tightly around him like a child would to a parent. She squeezed him as tightly as she could.

“I want that too,” she whispered so softly it was barely audible and his heart swelled tenfold, he slid his hand back into her hair, resting her head against him and cradling her close.

“You better not be crying again,” he joked, warming more when she tilted back to look up at him with wide happy eyes and the most gorgeous of Emma smiles, the one thing that had always captivated her to him was that genuine smile. Even eons ago when they first met, any hints of her genuine smile had floored him.

“No tears … Brownie’s whatsits.” Emma attempted some sort of disastrous salute that had him grinning like a kid, pushing her hand down with an indulgent look. She maybe wasn’t so perfect at everything she did, but she was perfect enough.

“This … us … it’s really happening?” Jake needed to say it aloud, needed to get to grips with the fact this was real, and she wasn’t just a dream, resulting from a major emotional breakdown at losing her.

“It looks that way.” Emma wiggled her fingers into Jake’s and pulled his hand to nestle against his own chest beside her face, he could feel the soft sensation of her breaths on his wrists and it was sending tingles all through him.

“You may need to pinch me a couple of times to believe it, shorty.” Jake slid her off of his body so he could bridge the height difference and kiss her once more, his hand freed from hers was now skimming across the softest expanse of creamy throat, across her shoulder slowly. Her skin felt like the softest velvet.

Emma looked suddenly so very serious, her facial expression dropping in an instant and her body tensing as quickly, she looked up at him with wariness.

“What about Marissa?” Her voice broke subtly, emotion under the surface and pain in the depths of those eyes, he cursed internally. Hating that this was one situation he couldn’t just wipe away, even for her.

“I don’t want her! I didn’t want her! It was a stupid drunken mistake. I’ll be there for the baby but as far as she’s concerned, she means nothing. It’s you, it will always be you.” It’s all he had, the best he could do, knowing that it was something he would need to deal with soon. He traced her eyebrow gently, trying so hard to erase that goddamn soul-crushing look of doubt in her eye. She was thinking about the one thing that could potentially ruin what they hadn’t even started yet.

“How do you feel about the baby?” she asked sheepishly, and he knew there was no getting around it at that moment. She wanted to feel secure, and it was his job to make her that way.

“I’d be lying if I said I was happy … I’m not … but I did this, and I need to take responsibility. I hadn’t ever thought about having kids, so this is all pretty overwhelming right now.” Jake screwed up his face at the thought of that wretched whore Marissa crossing his mind’s eye, all smug and repulsive.

“Don’t walk away from your child.” Emma blinked up at him earnestly, her mind obviously following through to what it was like in her own childhood with a guy who didn’t want a kid. Jake leaned in to kiss her again, this time to try to erase some of that self-doubt and heartache almost instinctively. He hated that guy for doing that to his beautiful girl.

“That’s not me, Emma … I’m nothing like your father. I won’t walk away.” He pushed her forehead with his reassuringly. “Can we drop this conversation for now as I have something I’d much rather be doing.” Jake grinned, determined to take her mind elsewhere and her body too if she was willing. Enough of the delaying and standing in a dark hall surrounded by strangers; he wanted to take her home and make this thing real.

“Such as?” Emma smiled warily, sudden doubt as to his motives and it only made him want to grin. Always a little unsure and childlike, it was something that had always drawn him to her and made him want to take care of her. She had no clue how vulnerable and naïve she often came across even in full-blown school mistress PA mode.

“Taking my girlfriend home and fucking her brains out. It’s long overdue.” He grinned, hitting her with a ground moving kiss in a bid to recapture some fire between them, hands sliding around her possessively and pushing her back into the wall to support them both.

Emma kissed him back with equal fervor and passion, her body molding to his and hands sliding up inside between the buttons of his shirt. Bodies igniting with raw lust and on the verge of losing control. He knew there was no stopping them now, he was taking her home as soon as he stopped kissing her and never letting her go again.