Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Songs for this chapter are:

Sell out - Lecrae

End of the road - 1k phew, Canton James.

Down with you - Adekunle Gold ft Dyo

Cassandra

"Please let her wait in the visitor's room until Mustafa comes, " I told Ebun. She nodded in understanding and left.

Sister Yemisi looked at me and gave a small thumbs up. "That's wise."

"It's only necessary I do that. He has a right to be here as do I."

I called Mustafa. Thankfully, he wasn't busy with many activities and said he would be here even before the stipulated time.

"Would you need me to be here when you let Mrs. Jones in?" Yemisi asked.

"For now, no. I feel it's a discussion that's supposed to be amongst her, Mustafa, and me. Besides, you always do so much for me."

"It's never too much but surely, I will leave you be. But if you ever need me..." she smiled. I nodded, knowing how to reach her.

She left.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. I had no idea what to expect. Twenty-three years ago when I was a slave, I saw Mrs. Jones a few times and I couldn't say that my impression of her was immaculate. Whenever Dan sneaked in to help me with food or some bizarre work assigned to me by the loan shark, Mrs. Jones coincidentally always happened to be somewhere around.

Sometimes, our eyes met.

I was always suspicious of her. Scared even. Even though she never did anything to implicate me then, even if she always walked away without uttering a word, I was constantly still unsure about her.

Moreover, she was Dan's person and that was a big red flag. Then, I would trust Dan even when I made my suspicions of Mrs. Jones known to him but seeing Dan's true colors later on and even learning that she was the only person Dan deemed fit to save from the castle, it didn't sit well with me at all.

Was she always aware of Dan's true intentions? It wasn't impossible. Nevertheless... I had to hear her reason because Dan told me little of the gruesome things the loan shark had made her go through. I could see the pain and the compassion in Dan's eyes when he spoke of his mother to me that night at the dungeon so it was understandable that his feelings towards Mrs. Jones were equally as pure.

Maybe she was just like a mother to him because she reminded him of her (his mother). Dan was a wicked person but still...

Mustafa walked in smartly through the front door twenty-five minutes after I called. There was a small smile on his face. I fluttered my eyelashes and crossed my arms over my knees.

"Um...I'm having difficulty in spotting the urgency you spoke about on the phone." because I don't understand why you are staring at me like a barbie doll. The way he rose his eyebrow had said it all.

"There's someone here to see us." I imitated his small smile, having a little too much fun with the act. "Have a seat. Preferably beside me. It would be important for the person we are meeting."

He had questions to ask but one was the most important of all. However, he refused to ask and simply followed my instruction. I needed to distract myself a little from the fear that was aiming to settle on my soul and teasing Mustafa a little was just about the only thing I could do.

Besides, I wanted him to hear it all from the lips of Mrs. Jones.

Ebun showed up before I could call her. She went to the room to get Mrs. Jones immediately. A few seconds later, she walked in. My eyes were focused on her and that focus created blindness or perhaps a disappearance to all of the sentiments I was feeling only a few minutes ago.

Focus truly does creates blindness.

Between my mother and Mrs. Jones, it was hard to tell who had aged more. If there was anything I expected to feel on seeing her, intense empathy wasn't one of them. She wasn't my mother. Whyever should I feel bad for her without hearing her full story and reason?

But I could swear that I felt what Dan had felt. On her face was the same deteriorating health and agony as my mother's at the graveyard. One couldn't help but have great pity for her. What on earth was the kind of pain she has endured for this long?

I was so curious.

"Who is she?" Mustafa whispered.

"You will find out soon, " I mouthed.

"Can I take a seat?" her voice came out rather vapid...soon to fade away perhaps.

"S-sure ma'am, " I motioned for a seat in the opposite direction and she sat very gently, perhaps for fear of her spinal cord breaking.

I couldn't comprehend why my eyes felt moist. Tears couldn't possibly be threatening to fall off my eyes right now. This was a serious matter at hand and I had to be careful.

"My sister told me that you have the intentions of having custody over my daughter, Farida as a way of repaying Dan."

Mustafa was shocked and I knew. I could hear his sharp intake of air. He was about to say something and I squeezed his hand just in time to stop him.

"Yes," she answered.

"Are you aware of Dan? I mean...do you know his true nature? When last did you see or hear of him? And how do you know that I have a child that's his?"

"The Dan I know was the clever little boy who helped me escape from the castle even when I didn't do remarkable to deserve it. I was always mean to him and didn't bother to show him any love or concern because I hated his father so much. I was the oldest slave at the castle at that time and was heavily molested and treated poorly by the loan shark.

As I got promoted in servitude, my suffering took new levels but everyone merely thought me to be in a better place since I wasn't a common slave like the others but mine was triple the amount but I had to bear it in silence. With no means of ever escaping even if I dared to try.

But the same son of the loan shark was able to help me escape successfully. Automatically, it made me hugely indebted to him. The last time I saw him was the night he told me to take the bakery path which led to a secret escape route. I never got to thank or repay him.

I thought my life was going to be better when I left the castle. I thought everything I lost was going to be restored. My husband got married to someone else during my absence even after I spent so many years missing him and wishing I would be reunited with him.

I don't know why I fantasized that much when he never bothered to know where I was for nineteen years. Maybe he tried to look for me the first few months of my absence but his efforts didn't show.

I escaped the castle when I was thirty-nine years old, with no idea as to how to start my life. Everything was gone. The chances of having a proper job were too slim. Who was going to employ a thirty-nine-year-old with no working experience?

Somehow though, I was able to secure one out of pity I guess. I worked as a typist for a small-scaled business with my secondary school education serving as my qualification. I had to move to a strange, unfamiliar city to continue my job and I lived in a rented apartment by myself, lonely.

I didn't see the need to marry and have a family of my own. I wasn't mentally nor financially stable for that and I just wanted to be alone but I thought of Dan frequently and tried to locate him. As the years rolled by, the news of his death got to me all of a sudden.

I had to leave the city once the bearer of the news told me he had a child. Immediately, my mind went to you. You were the only person I knew that Dan ever had as a friend and so I was hoping to find you and tender my request since that is the most I can do to repay him."

She'd said more than I asked and it was a lot to process but I knew I had to hear all of it. She didn't know Dan's intentions. How could she have known actually? I was glad that I chose to listen to her and I could sense that Mustafa was feeling the same way.

"I am a mother of three children. Only one belongs to Dan. Certainly, you must wonder why. The Dan you know is a very much outdated version. He was a good person. To you. Should you count yourself lucky? That, I know not of but something I would let you know today is that Dan was never my friend. He was never a good person to me.

It was all a façade. I became a slave because he asked his Dad, the loan shark to abduct me because he thought me a good instrument for his liberty, provided he was able to convince his Dad that he was attracted to me.

I'm sure you knew better about how the loan shark would grant any of his son's wishes except from that one thing he desperately desired. Everything that happened after he escaped with me that night is something I don't wish to discuss with you right now for fear of how much weight your heart is capable of carrying.

And about his death? He was sentenced to death by electrocution after he killed an officer of the law in the court of law. Clever indeed. And oh! My sister was amongst the lawyers that handled his case."

"My name is Mustafa. Cassie and I have collectively agreed to co-parent the children which is why I'm justified to listen to you in case you were wondering."

I loved how curt his speech was. He didn't need to tell her anything beyond that and I was happy he realized it himself.

She was speechless for a good moment. Heartbroken even. That wasn't the Dan she had watched over the years. She had witnessed his birth perhaps and had seen him grow in pain and the desire to be free not to end up to be as vicious as his father.

I knew her pain and I pitied her even more. She hoped she would at least, live the rest of her days with a bit of joy and fulfillment as a way of repaying her benefactor but an unpleasant surprise wasn't something she expected to encounter.

"Wow."

"Yes, Wow indeed."

"What is your wish though?" Mustafa asked her. He was feeling for her and giving her request a serious thought than I was. I was still too unsure.

"I just wish to play the role of a grandmother in Farida's life. If I can look after her in the littlest way possible, I would feel a lot better but that doesn't seem possible at all."

I sighed briefly. There was a moment of silence. I was deliberating. Mustafa was doing the same.

"We can't give you the answer to that wish now but come back tomorrow if you may," I said without asking for Mustafa's consent.

I would have been too annoyed if he granted her request right away so I had to talk first. I had worries of my own that Mustafa didn't share.

"Really?" she was surprised that her reason was still valid. That we still considered her.

"Yes."

"T-thank you so much." she seemed to have some more energy to get up.

She stooped before we could stop her and left before we could even say goodbye. She was hopeful and her body reflected it immediately. It was as though, our words of consideration brought life onto her dead bones.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Mustafa looked at me as though I had shoved a lavatory brush down my throat.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm still unsure about Mrs. Jones." I said what was heavy on my mind.

"She's a genuine person. She didn't bother to state her wishes until I asked. She respects—"

"No one would. After hearing that revelation but that's not it, " I paced back and forth the living room. "Besides, why are you so pure? How do you even do it?"

He shrugged. It amazed me how he was still able to trust a person and it made me feel...guilty. Why was he dealing with his pain so decently?

"Why are you unsure about her?" he asked before I could say what was on my mind. He could sense it and he wanted to avoid it.

"My problem is the fact that Mrs. Jones is affiliated to Dan. My mother is alive and she can make a good grandmother for the kids but if we allow Mrs. Jones into our lives, Farida would grow up to wonder who she is and when she does, she would want to know who her real father is because we can't lie to her that Mrs. Jones is your mother. It can affect Ahmed and Youssef even because they will know the truth too.

Our goal is to raise the children in unity as much as we can and to ensure that anything related to Dan never creeps up or resurfaces. What would happen to the future of the children when they realize they are not of the same father due to Mrs. Jones' presence?"

"Then we let it happen. We should let the future take care of itself, Cassie. If Farida grows up and asks questions about her real Dad, then so be it. We would tell her, Ahmed, and Youssef the truth, and her curiosity would fade away once she learns that Dan was a bad person. Let's do this for the sake of Mrs. Jones. She's been through a lot and is closer to her grave than the rest of us. Let's make her last days on earth worth the while."

"I'm not sure we owe her that."

"Benevolence, Cassie."

"But Farida will hate me because we would have to tell her about my sins as well. If I didn't cheat on you, Farida wouldn't exist either would she have to suffer for an action she didn't engage in. Besides, she's so fond of you. She would loathe me if she learns of what I did to the man she loves so much."

That my mother was able to stay alive to create the bond she never had with me after so many years didn't mean that my life would end up like that. Farida could choose to hate me and never forgive me till I die a painful death and there would be nothing I can do to change it.

I didn't want that.

My life was already a sad one due to the decisions I made and those of others. I didn't want to suffer like that in my old age. My present punishment was already enough. It was my mistake and I shall regret it forever but I wasn't sure I deserved that.

Besides, this situation was making me hate myself again for treating Mustafa so poorly. Could we ever really move forward from our past? He was no Alzheimer's patient to easily forget the trauma I inflicted on him even if he acted like it was okay and even tried to convinced me a hundred and one times that it was

An occurrence like this came to place to prove otherwise. It's never truly okay. It only made it more difficult and brought flashbacks of the heartbreak. All of the beliefs that I had spent time cultivating about consciously choosing not to feel guilty went crashing down. How could I not feel guilty right now? My heart ached like crazy.

"Let's lie then. Let's lie that Mrs. Jones is my mother. The kids would eventually grow to learn that You and I are not together as man and wife so we could just use Mrs. Jones as a cover-up. That way, they would never get to know why we are divorced. They might just assume something else."

"Something like what if not for infidelity?"

"A financial crisis. A natural loss of love or interest in one another. Societal or traditional demands."

"We shouldn't lie, " I shook my head. I hated my mother for a similar reason. She lied about her reason for discussing with the loan shark and it caused a lot of pain that could have been avoided. I didn't want to make the same mistake. "I think you are right about letting the future take care of itself. I don't know what personality Farida would grow up to have so I shouldn't be quick to assume that she would hate me."

"So...you agree that we should let Mrs. Jones in purely for her sake, yes?"

"Yes, " I breathed. "Mustafa I—"

"Don't. It won't help matters at all, " he knew what I was about to say again but I respected his wish and refrained from it despite how hard it was. "We should discuss with Mrs. Jones what our conditions and boundaries are when she comes tomorrow."

"We will be needing sister Yemisi's help here. She gives good parenting advice in all scopes."

"I have no problem in believing that. Let's talk to her immediately."

I took a deep breath, hoping with all sincerity that she wouldn't have a cause to object to our collective decision.

***

Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord will fight for you and you will hold your peace."