Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Songs for this chapter are:

Jailer - Asa

Cyanide - Daniel Caesar

Cassandra

The past seven days have been pretty heated. Probably the busiest days of my life. Not only did I have to spend roughly forty-eight hours at the police headquarters repeating the same testimony of everything Dan had done that could be legally punishable, but I'd also started to get the full dose of motherhood and I decided to sign up for a coaching session on how to single-handedly parent your kids the right way.

I had so much on my mind and I felt the sudden urge to overcome all my battles at once.

Mustafa was always on my mind. Day in, day out, I prayed to God for him, I prayed for his mental health and his business to do well. I texted him very often, saying the most meaningless things ninety percent of the time but not failing to show that I was starting to care deeply about him.

I never thought a day would come when I will consider forgiving my mother from the depths of my heart but within the past seven days, the thought started to appear and it stayed somewhere, subtle but noticeable.

The last time I was somewhat close to forgiving her, I got a text that threatened to kidnap and it had my mother mentioned in it. I got pissed and told her to never appear in my life. Every situation at that time made it hard for me to see my mother's innocence because everything seemed to point towards her as the devil but she wasn't the one who made me suffer this much.

Hence, I felt she deserved a second chance; a chance for her to call me her daughter and I would be glad to hear it.

Originally, I would never have had my thoughts aligned in this direction but ever since I started getting intentional about being close to God, forgiveness and redemption have been the top tier thoughts laced at the fountains of my heart.

Who was I not to forgive my mother when I had done worse? My mother tried to sell me to a loan shark which was highly unnecessary but every single thing I did, every word I said, and every love confession I made to Mustafa right from the day I agreed to marry him was also unnecessary.

My infidelity towards the vows we made to stay committed to each other and my display of greed for his abundant wealth was highly uncalled for. Just like I didn't deserve to be a slave or collateral for a transaction, Mustafa didn't deserve to be emotionally and financially abused, and yet I was still hoping that he would forgive me from the depths of his heart.

My mother was surely waiting on me to forgive her as well and if I want to be forgiven, then I should be willing to forgive.

Above these things, I wanted to know what it felt like to be loved by a mother since I'd yearned for that all through my teenage years just like I wanted my kids to experience great fatherly love; A kind of love that only Mustafa could give them.

Certainly, it's time to let go of every single negative thing I've held on to and I love how each phase is coming to my mind one after the other, waiting to be settled and solved.

Everything is going to be fine.

But for now, there's a battle at hand, and the only way to get through it is to win it and get it over with forever and ever.

Dan.

Today is his court trial. The day the dispensation of his verdict shall be given and made final. The day I would say goodbye to him and every pain he has caused me shall be washed away. The day I'd wished for since I found out who he truly was.

Verily, it felt incredible to be able to witness the day of payback but how was I going to act if I came face-to-face with him?

Will my heart hurt? Will I have second thoughts? Will tears fall down my eyes? What kind of tears will they be? Tears of joy, or pain or the feeling of being free indeed? Will the tears reflect as a reminiscence of the most bitter recollections? Regretting the day I gave myself away to him?.

Was I truly healed yet? Or was I healing the right way rather?

I could not tell and I didn't know what attitude to imbibe. This wasn't one of the times where I could feign a facial expression and pull through with it successfully. Once I step into that witness box, swear my oath and testify against Dan, the genuine stare of my heart would be revealed and out in the open for that shall be the true test of my redemption process.

For now, I can't decipher because my heart is a chaotic wave of emotions and intrusive thoughts but I can only hope that I have been healing the right way.

Sitting in the courtroom with my elder brother, Alexander by my side, I can see sister yemisi far off, speaking in a hushed tone to her assistant as the courtroom was gradually starting to get filled with the presence of people walking in quietly.

The courtroom was humid in temperature with the walls looking bland and impervious as ever, unfriendly carved benches filling the room with individuals in the room doing everything down to the way they sneezed in the most professional of ways. It was somewhat sickening.

I spot a clique of women sitting in front of me. They weren't dressed scantily neither did they have those multiple facial piercings that my mind had somewhat stereotyped prostitutes to have (anyway how did I expect them to dress in a professional setting like this?) but still, it wasn't hard for me to figure that they were the prostitutes from the ghetto and they were here as witnessed too. I could just tell.

Listening effortlessly to their murmuring proved my thesis further because my ear had caught phrases like, 'we will show him pepper today' and 'he doesn't respect women'

Unprecedented shivers raced down my vertebrae column in reaction to the heightening humidity in the courtroom. I knew I could have just used the word, 'spine' but I knew what I was feeling and it traveled down to my bones.

The chattering between people became louder and it ceased abruptly when the judge walked in to take his seat at the highest position in the room followed by a clerk dressed in a white tee on a pair of sleek black trousers. He looked smart.

Just before the judge settled on his seat, there was a call to order from the court clerk demanding for everyone present in the room to rise as he hit the gavel a bit too casually on the desk and we did so in unison, giving the judge a short bow of respect after which we then sat on our respective seats.

My brother's hand found mine and he held onto me tightly. I remained in that position, thankful for the display of his support as he said softly to me, his voice brushing past my earlobes.

"Don't pee your pants. Everything is going to be alright."

I felt the urge to laugh but like an angel of order that my sister was, her eyes coincidentally seemed to find mine at that moment from the corner where she sat as the prosecuting counsel.

What I didn't expect was for her to wink at me. I'd concluded that she was going to send me a glare promising to torture me for three hours by tickling my feet after the court trial.

My urge to laugh morphed into a smile instead.

But my smile was quick to dissipate back into my cheekbones after the court clerk read the details of the case to be handled at the moment and the defendant walked into the courtroom at that very moment with two policemen standing by each side, his hands bound by handcuffs.

His skin looked a lot lighter... Like he hadn't been exposed to light for the longest time but I knew for sure that he suffered wherever he was kept. His lips had no color in them neither did his eyes or his cheeks.

His dreadlocks had grown fuller and longer than the last I saw him like he gulped down a whole formula of how to grow fuller hair by a man in the Bible named Samson because not only did his hair grow fuller, it had somewhat made him look stronger like the secret of his seeming strength lied in the length of his hair.

On his forehead, I detected a huge patch of eczema and I realized that he hadn't grown lighter, it was just the delusion that skin discoloration was able to provide me for a few minutes.

Then, our eyes met.

And it never left each other.

I wished I would never see him again. I wished there would never come a day when it would feel like it was only him and I in the whole wide world because the last time I felt that way was when he exposed me to Mustafa at the hospital and carried me away because it made me feel so frightened and preyed upon; like it was only me and my captor present so no one would ever come to my rescue since he's been a huge part of my pathetic life after all.

That was the promise his eyes seemed to hold as he stared deeply into mine and it had somewhat made everything and everyone around me vanish into thin air. It made me want to wring my hair out, give up on my healing process, and take my life away. I was really scared.

Until I felt my brother's promising hands on mine again. Only then was I able to tear my gaze away from him. Eyes were capable of doing wonders, it could either captivate you with love or enslave you with bitter memories that were best forgotten.

I sniffed back the tears that wanted to came down my eyes in an unwelcome mannerism.

"Stop looking at him and listen to what the clerk is saying. Sister Yemisi will soon start talking which means she will call your name very soon." He rubbed my palm lovingly.

I nodded and did as he said. I was thankful that Alexander didn't let go of my hand because in the warmth of his grip did I find security. Hands were an emblem of help, just make sure you were holding the right one. Over time, I was able to understand why it was called, 'helping hand'. Not all hands were helpful and I knew that more than anyone else.

"The defendant, Mr. Dan has been alleged of premeditated murder, indecent assault, trafficking, theft, and impersonation from the facts collated. Mr. Dan, do you plead to be guilty or not guilty?" the voice of the court clerk amplified itself through the courtroom.

I swallowed thickly. What if he pleads to not be guilty and the lawyer in his defense can defend him well? What the hell is going to happen? What if we lose this case? What if—

"Guilty, " Dan answered thickly.

That elicited a stern look from the lawyer who I fathomed to be Dan's solicitor who was seated at the left corner of the courtroom next to Dan. Had he admitted to all the charges? Was he willing to suffer for his sins or was he playing a dirty game that was soon going to give sister Yemisi and me the biggest shock of our lives?

When Dan sat down, I saw his lawyer whisper something to him in animosity but I saw Dan smirk leisurely instead in reaction to whatever his attorney told him. As though to say that he knew what he was doing.

Oh, God! Please let this be this judgment that will end him for good. I hope that any plan he has will fail!

"Will the prosecuting lawyer step forward to debate her facts? Barrister Yemisi Roberts?" the judge turned towards my sister at the right corner of the courtroom through his crescent-shaped spectacles.

After the court clerk handed a few bunches of papers to the judge for speculation, my sister rose and gave a curt bow, stepping forward elegantly but professionally at the same time. She straightened her robe briefly like it was going to make her look more elite than she already looked.

Warmth spread through my heart for an unknown reason.

"My Lord, the defendant, Mr. Dan is certainly guilty of the crimes aforementioned. Mr. Dan has committed quite many ills not only against Mrs. Cassandra Williams but has also been a threat to society at large especially to the residents of the popularly known Ghetto in Lagos named Allen Avenue. Mr. Dan who is the son of the late notorious loan shark made use of his viciousness and cunning behavior to have his father abduct Mrs. Cassandra Williams who was only nine-years-old. Emphasis on the word, 'abduct'.

Mr. Dan who was well aware of the fact that the plaintiff was going to become a slave if his father abducted her, went ahead to play mind games with the plaintiff, took advantage of her, and claimed to help her attain freedom only for his selfish purposes. After getting what he wanted, He killed his father who burned to death, and set the castle in which the other slaves were captured ablaze which can otherwise be known as a massacre.

Mr. Dan then moved to the ghetto after gaining his freedom so he could start a life of his own at the age of fourteen and in the pursuit of survival, he resorted to grievous vices. My Lord, do I have your permission to call on a witness to testify to Mr. Dan's atrocities?"

"Yes, you do." The judge answered.

"Thank you, my lord, " my sister bowed shortly and then fixed her gaze on the group of ladies who sat in front of me. "Miss. Ibinabo, can you step forward please?"

Immediately, one of them stepped forward and moved to the witness box. I was sure she was the only one who could speak fluent English amongst the three of them which must be why my sister called on her.

After the clerk made her swear the oath of truth and she was made to understand of lying which could make her guilty of perjury, sister Yemisi proceeded to question her.

"Miss Ibinabo, can you tell the court what exactly happened on the 22nd of April, 2000?"

"Yes madam. That morning, I and my friend were at the newspaper stand as usual. There were a lot of people gathered together because everybody wanted to get a copy of the latest news. A few minutes later, I saw my friend, Adesuwa shout at a thug next to her and accused him of groping her buttocks. Instinctively, I felt the need to calm her down and ignore the thug because thugs are not people you should waste your time fighting with but my eyes were just on time to spot a young boy running through the crowd of people as a pandemonium was starting to break out. I saw a newspaper in his hand as he kept running. Immediately, I was able to figure out what he had just done because I have seen a few thugs do it in the past."

"And what exactly is that thing?"

"The act of causing distraction or commotion to get something you don't have the money to purchase. I knew he was the one who assaulted my friend but he did it in a way that she wouldn't know it was him. Telling from the direction in which he even fled, I knew for sure that he was the one. So, I chased after him tirelessly, and thankfully, he didn't notice he was being followed. I followed him till I saw him stop at a house that was going to be given for rent. Immediately, I was tempted to approach him, pull him by the collar and slap him hard for doing something so dirty to my friend but what I saw next made me run away. I didn't want him to catch me spying on him and then shoot me because what I saw was a gun and it looked nothing like the few guns I have seen before. Before I could figure out what he wanted to use it for, I fled."

"Did you hear any more news of him after then or did you see him around after that day?"

"I didn't see him but I did hear a lot about him. That same day after I was able to run for my life, I saw Adesuwa and I told her about my discovery. Later on, I saw my two other friends, Caro and Sarah who told me about a guy that stole all of their money earlier that morning because they let him swindle them. They told me that he looked like a twenty-one-year-old and it was easy for them to believe him when he lied to them about being able to pay twice the amount they normally would receive for their services. Immediately, I knew it was the same guy I saw that they were talking about because he didn't look so young to me either when I saw him closely."

"How about the corpses that everyone at the ghetto found with the bizarre body marks? What did the marks look like and were you able to decipher the moment you saw those corpses that it was Mr. Dan's doing?"

"They looked like fresh scars one would get from surviving a fire accident and to an extent, yes I was able to decipher because I had seen him with a gun that day but I couldn't be too sure that he was the one because it could have been one of those thugs that roamed around. When things get extreme, thugs kill each other. But before you ask if the corpses I saw were those of thugs, no they weren't but still, I didn't pay attention to the fact that it could have automatically been Dan's doing."

"Okay. Thank you very much for your testimony, Miss. Ibinabo. You may step down now."

"Thank you, ma'am, " she stepped down sheepishly.

"My Lord, I'm going to give a brief explanation on the gun the witness spoke about and I will be calling on another witness to testify to the authenticity of its brand."

Mr. Albert, my sister's assistant stepped forward with gloved fingers as he delicately handed the gun over to the judge to examine it carefully.

"My Lord, if you take a proper look at the gun, you will observe that it has the inscription, 'Hades' on it. When the trigger is pulled on a victim, it gives a scar on the area affected like the peeling of the skin a victim gets when the skin is exposed to fire. The wound spreads like tetanus till it decapacitates the victim or kills the victim and even after death, the scar remains and it broadens to other parts of the body and like a burning object, it turns to ashes. The dead body mysteriously becomes non-existent, burnt even to the bones within two to three days. Please, my Lord, permit me to call on my second witness, Mrs. Cassandra Williams."

"Permission granted."

I knew my sister would have just loved to show the judge the photograph she showed me instead but it wasn't clear enough and the judge might use it against us, calling the evidence invalid so, after a lengthy discussion, we concluded on me giving detailed pictorial testimony.

Biting my lip nervously, I stepped forward, unfortunately having to let go of my brother's hand as I approached the witness box, my heart skyrocketing.

I felt Dan's eyes on me as I walked past him or maybe it was just my throbbing anxiety but I felt like he was going to capture me even as I walked past him. That was how scared I still was. I wished I never had to let go of my brother.

After swearing my oath to tell nothing but the truth, my sister paused for a little while before she opened her mouth to speak. I knew that she'd observed how frightened I was and wanted to give me little time to gather up the courage.

But it even made me more scared because I felt the judge might get the wrong idea that my sister was being partial or doing something illegal in secret to favor me.

I couldn't understand why I was so scared and was overthinking everything. I was scared that I wasn't healing like I thought I was. It broke my heart like that F grade that soiled all of my A grades in a report sheet. Yes, I felt like a failure.

"Mrs. Cassandra Williams, can you tell us more about this gun with the inscription 'Hades' on it?" my sister nodded at me.

"The first time I'd seen the gun was when the loan shark used it to kill my best friend, Krystal. I didn't see the mark instantly but I saw the writing on the gun because the loan shark slapped and tried to strangle me with the gun in his hand. Later on, I saw Dan's crippled uncle and I saw a terrible mark on his leg. Like he survived a fire accident but the wound refused to heal or something until Dan made me understand that his dad shot him. I found it hard to believe because a normal gun with a stray bullet would puncture a hole instead of giving a broad wound.

Then, I saw the same gun last year when Dan was sending threats to attack my ex-husband, Mustafa and I. I'm sure it was Dan who tried to strangle me in my car that day because I saw the same fun and it could have only been the loan shark who would own the gun or someone close to him. Dan threatened and blackmailed my family countless times. When I saw my driver's corpse after Dan shot him, I saw the same mark I'd seen on his uncle's legs. Dan opened up to me about his vices in the ghetto. He's a murderer for sure."

I commended myself for speaking so well and for barely stammering or letting Dan's gaze weaken my resolve to fight hard.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cassandra, you may now—

"Objection, my Lord!"

I turned to the defense lawyer who sat next to Dan. My heart picked up its pace, beating loudly in my ears. This was the first time he spoke audibly since the trial started and I knew he had something cogent to say. The only thing was that no one except him and Dan knew what weapon to use against me and my sister and that was the greatest disadvantage we had.

"Objection sustained, " the judge said.

***

Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord will fight for you and you will hold your peace."

Glossary

• "We will show him pepper today" - A vengeful pidgin expression for, "We will deal with him today."

• Allen Avenue is indeed a popular area in Lagos State commonly known for the widespread act of prostitution but whether that place is indeed a Ghetto is what I know not of, I only added that to spice up my pictorial imagination of the place. :)